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How to get over a break up?





Scorpio
No I have not broken up,

These are just a few tips I picked up from this site

www.wikihow.com

Thought this might be of help

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Break-Up

Check that link, you have more links on even how to break up and stuff

And no, I wont post all of them here.


Quote:
Steps

1. Realize what happened and why. You have to make it clear to yourself that this is not all your fault. It takes two people to make a relationship start, and two people to have lead it to the break up.

2. Accept your pain. Have your good long cries if you feel like it. It's okay to be hurt and feel alone and feel like you have messed up. But you have to know that you are a good person and this is not all one-sided.

3. Think through everything in your head. Maybe even try to ask yourself what went wrong. But you also have to think of why you two broke up. There had to have been a reason for it all to end, right? If there was a reason but it wasn't a good one, then this person isn't worth your time.

4. Deal with the hate phase. This is where you want to just scream because you are so angry, even furious. The amount of anger you feel all depends on how bad the "split" was. You may even feel like you hate yourself, but get out of that feeling fast! It's a waste of time to be hating and ripping yourself apart for no reason.

5. Talk to your friends. They are always a source of advice and help. If you are close with any family members, they may be a good source of advice/guidance. You want people around you that love you and who will help you see that you should love yourself too and that you don't need this sort of pain.

6. Write all your feelings down. Write in a journal or write poems. Most of all, be absolutely honest and don't edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring out your thoughts onto paper. Patterns may become clearer and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to "get" what you're supposed to be learning from the whole experience if you've been writing your way through it. No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself from having gone through it all with your heart open to both joy and pain. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be.

7. Keep fond memories. Sometimes there are things that remind us of another person. Say, you hear a song or see a picture that reminds you of your ex, you probably get all sad and worked up. Well, instead of feeling that way, try to think of how happy that memory used to make you, and leave it at that.

8. Don't overreact. You may be feeling lonely, and want to be with someone, but don't go back to your ex unless you really believe you should be together. Likewise, don't jump into another relationship as a rebound, just to make yourself feel better. It's not fair to the other person, and will eventually lead to another breakup.

9. Find happiness in other areas of your life. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, taking up that class you've always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that there's more to life than being in a relationship. Indulge in those things.

10. Let go. See that there is no sense in still being heartbroken, regretful, and having hatred toward that person. Realize that although your relationship with that person was very unique and special in a lot of ways, all good things must come to an end. And when they do, that's when you see all the flaws in your relationship and that it's best that you aren't together.


Tips

* You have to walk out of your heartache, knowing that you have done all that you can do, said all that you can say, and given as much as you could give. If you feel all this and that you did your part, but he or she didn't meet you halfway, then you'll be just fine.

* Do not put yourself through more pain than you have to. Do not think about where he or she would be right now and if you should visit. Don't try to talk to him or her about the break up. Don't make yourself think negatively about yourself or your judgment, or anything else that will make you doubt your decisions or yourself.

* If you want to save things from the relationship (letters, ticket stubs, that cute pink teddy bear), put it in a box. Put all of your other ex's things in the box, too. Look through the box every once in awhile; you'll see that yes, he or she was important, but you were you before that person came along, and you will be you now.

* As trite as it may sound, this one bears repeating: find something constructive to do -- something that will hold your attention and require you to focus and get interested. Once you've spent a few days (or weeks) indulging the grief, it's time to take a class or maybe join a book group. Find something that gets you out of the house and out of your circular thought process and involves your brain or your creative side. Sometimes you've forgotten who you were before you hooked up with the person you're so sad about now, and you need to wake yourself up a bit and remember that you used to have fun doing things you've forgotten about since then. You've got a brain, go use it for something besides re-running old memories!

* Remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.


Warnings

* Don't look for distractions from the pain, emptiness, or heartache. You're *supposed* to grieve a lost relationship in which you'd invested yourself emotionally. Ride it out--turning to destructive distractions like drugs, alcohol, casual sex, etc. will only make things worse, and can actually prolong the entire grieving process. If you try to hide from the pain, it just waits around the corner and jumps out at you as soon as the temporary relief of your "distraction" wears off. The best and only way to get to the other side of the sadness is to go straight through it with a clear head. Believe it or not, it's the fastest way as well. You WILL feel better.


Things You'll Need


* LOTS OF KLEENEX

* You can do it without the following items, but they are highly
recommended for the most rewarding (yes, really!) experience possible:

* A few shoulders to cry on. It really does help to talk about it, preferably to more than just one person (if only to give your best friend some relief).

* A Teddy Bear (for hugs and to talk to at 4am when everyone else is asleep.) Dogs and cats will do too, although pets may not always give you quite that loving sympathetic gaze and undivided attention that bears are so good at.

* Hot showers (As much as you may not even want to get out of bed, much less get in the shower -- *sniffle* "who cares if I wash my hair now, anyway?" --you WILL feel better after a shower, or a nice long soak in the tub. Hot water relaxes tense muscles, soothes anxiety and refreshes puffy, tear-stained faces.

* Paper and pens (a journal is perfect, paints and glue and other illustration tools, even better!)

* Funny movies and absorbing novels can be a great temporary respite and laughter can really lighten your mood.

* If you're one of the millions who try to fill that empty sad feeling through your mouth (which usually doesn't work because food isn't what you're missing), fill the fridge with celery sticks and other light snacks that you won't regret later if you just have to munch.

* Your sense of humor and your knowledge that "this too shall pass".
Devang
Tips are good. but u see, it depends from person to person and from situation to situation to tackle such break ups!

but I hope that such tips may also be helping ppl.

Good sharing.
Panthrowzay
WOW

Tips are always good to have

BUT IN REALITY

It doesnt work like that you just cant tell yourself its not your fault and MAGICALY be over it

For me it usually takes a week AT LEAST of peace and quiet SAPPY songs SAPPY movies junk food sweat pants and candy LOTS of Chocolate and a whole stock of tissues when thats done ill be fine but the person who says it changes from person to person is right and girls and guys respond to breaks ups diffrently(im a girl BTW this is just my friends account)!!

So dont let a site tell you how to deal with your problems do it on your own people are becoming WAY to dependant on computers to find love make love lose love and find new love do yoursel a favor and do whats right for you and deal with things how YOU need to, to get over it!!!
molif
so true man... no one can tell u to get over it..

its up to individual if they are ready to get over it..
Cephalic_Carnage
Nice tips, however I prefer do get over it my own way. Which usually involves me tricking my mind into "Hating my ex-partner", so I don't feel bad about it, then using Death Metal to reinforce the exercise. I know it is a very negative way to do it but it works for me.
tingkagol
DISTRACTION
Sadow
Nice contribution, Scorpio. I hope it will help people who really could use it. One more addition to the Warnings: You DO need to be distracted, but don't try and push away the pain and the hurt. Spoil yourself with something that is actually good for you. For example: buy some nice clothes or buy a good book. Or do sports. Wink
djcaution
As good as tips are and even though they're all right..tips shmips. You can hear all the advice in the world, it's still not going to change how good or bad you handle something of the likes of a heart-wrenching break-up. You'll ride it out however you can handle it. From my experience if someone is just a complete wreck after a bs relationship, it takes nothing short of a best friend pounding it into their head that they're better off and dragging them out of the house to have fun and get them back on their feet.
electrikhipz
pretty decent tips. breaking up is hard.
personally, i think people just need to realize that they are still a whole person even if they haven't found true love. its important to find out who you are before you can be with someone else. love will always find away, and if it isn't meant to be, c'est la vie!
love,
sarah-ellen
xkobram
scorpio wrote:
1. Realize what happened and why. You have to make it clear to yourself that this is not all your fault. It takes two people to make a relationship start, and two people to have lead it to the break up.


Well It's hard when you don't know what is the reaoson, when your expartner thinks, it better to you not to say you Its your falt and trying to lie...
angel_of_death
well, i hope this helps. i think i'm really gonna need it son enuff. thanks man Very Happy

but i've already followed some of the stuff, and they did work. i found it as a natural thin to do, u kno, leanin on to ur friends, and stuff. in the end, "that too did pass" Razz
kirancnair
This is an interesting Topic I should say. Think get over someone depends on what kind of a person you are, and the social circle you have. Should say I been a loner all through my life...and when i went through a break up I was finding it quite difficult.

Why? Well there is so much of a void everywhere...and when you are alone and idle the only thought you have is of the breakup.

You are looking for exactly the same thing that you lost, while going through a breakup..thats love, companionship, being understood.....of course most of these things apply when you are at the receving end of teh breakup
curupira
Breaking up is not something you do. For me it's just like an amputation. Never had to cut out anything out of my body but that's what it would feel like if I had to. First, because you can't simply forget all the good moments you got with that person.

No matter how bad it was, there is always something left.

For women i think it might be worse. I had an affair who tried everything short of murder on me. People said she cried out loud for months. I believe that, because the creature went on following me for weeks.

But then again, there's this thing called self steem and even though I got some scars out of it, I still remember some good moments.

But if It was something possible, it would be just great to keep all relationships around, never breaking up.
just-in
I had a break up and what I did is that I kept it in mind that why it happened.

I suggest the same to everyone here... as time goes you'll definately get over it provided you keep yourself busy in other things other than just keep thinking about the break up.

Time will definately bring you solutions.


Why I am saying keep it in mind why it happened is atleast you'll make sure that the history doesn't repeat in future relationships.

Justin.
lastelement0
tell your story to as many girls as possible. make it seem like the girl was the ****** of it all. in the end you will have plenty more girls to choose from. Very Happy

well im kind of kidding. that works for some people but not necessarily how i go about a break up. i usually tell my really good friend about it so im not keeping it away from everyone. then i just get into a nice state of mind with music cranked all the way up. at least a week of that and im in good shape.
evilryu530
i just go find the next girl and hook up with her.....
urbanbuddha
I hope I never need to use those tips. =P

Anyway, I think the best way is to meet new people! Start dating again and find new love~ Or just spend more time with your friends. Just don't mope on it too long, I suppose... Unless you wanna scare everyone away.
xlosin_love&&
Hey thanks for the tips scorpio. I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago because I found out that he just used me to get my ex- best friend. It's a pain and I guess I made a mistake of making a "distraction" by getting myself all busy and working out and just chilling but hey, I guess the distraction part worked too! I guess every now and then, I break down because it's not easy to separate myself from him especially when we had good memories but, I think I can cure myself over time. Thanks again!
annieee
Making it through a breakup is tough. Sometimes, the feelings of rage, confusion and desperation can lead the dumped into improper habits of extreme comfort spending. To be able to treat yourself well during the aftermath of a broken relationship and still maintain your budget, here are a few tips for how you can survive a breakup
loveandormoney
Let Your frieinds help You.
If You want to stay alone the whole time You only think about bad memories.
GuidanceReader
Time - give yourself time to heal and move on. You can't get past emotional attachment over night. Be kind to yourself and remember that.
daisuki
I have been through some very sad break ups, one after a 5 year relationship and one after a 4 year relationship, and both times it was my partner who left. I was completely devastated both times and didn't know how I was going to recover, but I have learnt from these experiences that recovery does eventually happen.
I am extremely sentimental so maybe that made it harder for me (and still does) but I think that the best way that I was able to handle things was to make plans. Make plans for myself, what I was going to do in the future like take a holiday or plan an artwork, or even just planning the next week... who i would catch up with, what i would try to achieve etc. Just focusing on even little things like that help. I found that doing something productive helped a lot too, so making something or learning something, just building things up and setting yourself up, finishing things... it all helps.
Just go through the motions and survive for a while and then eventually you will realise that things are good again.
loveandormoney
Quote:

I have been through some very sad break ups, one after a 5 year relationship and one after a 4 year relationship, and both times it was my partner who left. I was completely devastated both times and didn't know how I was going to recover, but I have learnt from these experiences that recovery does eventually happen.
I am extremely sentimental so maybe that made it harder for me (and still does) but I think that the best way that I was able to handle things was to make plans. Make plans for myself, what I was going to do in the future like take a holiday or plan an artwork, or even just planning the next week... who i would catch up with, what i would try to achieve etc. Just focusing on even little things like that help. I found that doing something productive helped a lot too, so making something or learning something, just building things up and setting yourself up, finishing things... it all helps.
Just go through the motions and survive for a while and then eventually you will realise that things are good again.



Good morning.
Are You a girl or a boy?
If You are a girl, it is wrong to be silent and to be a victim.
Call Your friends make peace and then You will be happy.

"I have been through some very sad break ups, one after a 5 year relationship and one after a 4 year relationship, "
Why do You want to be a victim?

"I was completely devastated both times"
Repair it
take You phones and call Your friends, stop to want to be a silent victim.

This also did make Your darlings angry.

" didn't know how I was going to recover,"
Let Your lovers help You.
Love ist not only that You clean their house and cook for them: Love also is to ask for help.
Silence makes You sick.

" but I have learnt from these experiences that recovery does eventually happen."
Do You want to be a silent victim again?

" I am extremely sentimental"
So call You lovers, stop beeing a viction
open Your mouth
and stop serve all other people.
Accept help from the loved people.

" Make plans for myself, what I was going to do in the future like take a holiday"
This is a good idea
call Your lovers and go out with them for holidays.
Laugh and love together.
You will enjoy it.

"Just focusing on even little things"
YES
YES
YES
tell You lovers, where You did feel hurt.
Open mouth
enjoy life.

" I found that doing something productive helped a lot too,"

Yes
love and sex and common life is productive
yes
enjoy it with You darlings
only thing You need to do is one phone call.

" Just focusing on even little things"

YES SURE
a little kiss makes You happy.

Sure.

"finishing things."
YES
Make peace with Your lovers.

Good idea.


Just go through the motions
YES
Enjoy to spend the night with Your darling in bed instead to spend the night with the TV machine.



Regards
loveandormoney
Quote:

I have been through some very sad break ups, one after a 5 year relationship and one after a 4 year relationship, and both times it was my partner who left. I was completely devastated both times and didn't know how I was going to recover, but I have learnt from these experiences that recovery does eventually happen.
I am extremely sentimental so maybe that made it harder for me (and still does) but I think that the best way that I was able to handle things was to make plans. Make plans for myself, what I was going to do in the future like take a holiday or plan an artwork, or even just planning the next week... who i would catch up with, what i would try to achieve etc. Just focusing on even little things like that help. I found that doing something productive helped a lot too, so making something or learning something, just building things up and setting yourself up, finishing things... it all helps.
Just go through the motions and survive for a while and then eventually you will realise that things are good again.



Good morning.
Are You a girl or a boy?
If You are a girl, it is wrong to be silent and to be a victim.
Call Your friends make peace and then You will be happy.

"I have been through some very sad break ups, one after a 5 year relationship and one after a 4 year relationship, "
Why do You want to be a victim?

"I was completely devastated both times"
Repair it
take You phones and call Your friends, stop to want to be a silent victim.

This also did make Your darlings angry.

" didn't know how I was going to recover,"
Let Your lovers help You.
Love ist not only that You clean their house and cook for them: Love also is to ask for help.
Silence makes You sick.

" but I have learnt from these experiences that recovery does eventually happen."
Do You want to be a silent victim again?

" I am extremely sentimental"
So call You lovers, stop beeing a viction
open Your mouth
and stop serve all other people.
Accept help from the loved people.

" Make plans for myself, what I was going to do in the future like take a holiday"
This is a good idea
call Your lovers and go out with them for holidays.
Laugh and love together.
You will enjoy it.

"Just focusing on even little things"
YES
YES
YES
tell You lovers, where You did feel hurt.
Open mouth
enjoy life.

" I found that doing something productive helped a lot too,"

Yes
love and sex and common life is productive
yes
enjoy it with You darlings
only thing You need to do is one phone call.

" Just focusing on even little things"

YES SURE
a little kiss makes You happy.

Sure.

"finishing things."
YES
Make peace with Your lovers.

Good idea.


Just go through the motions
YES
Enjoy to spend the night with Your darling in bed instead to spend the night with the TV machine.



Regards
loveandormoney
Quote:

I have been through some very sad break ups, one after a 5 year relationship and one after a 4 year relationship, and both times it was my partner who left. I was completely devastated both times and didn't know how I was going to recover, but I have learnt from these experiences that recovery does eventually happen.
I am extremely sentimental so maybe that made it harder for me (and still does) but I think that the best way that I was able to handle things was to make plans. Make plans for myself, what I was going to do in the future like take a holiday or plan an artwork, or even just planning the next week... who i would catch up with, what i would try to achieve etc. Just focusing on even little things like that help. I found that doing something productive helped a lot too, so making something or learning something, just building things up and setting yourself up, finishing things... it all helps.
Just go through the motions and survive for a while and then eventually you will realise that things are good again.



Good morning.
Are You a girl or a boy?
If You are a girl, it is wrong to be silent and to be a victim.
Call Your friends make peace and then You will be happy.

"I have been through some very sad break ups, one after a 5 year relationship and one after a 4 year relationship, "
Why do You want to be a victim?

"I was completely devastated both times"
Repair it
take You phones and call Your friends, stop to want to be a silent victim.

This also did make Your darlings angry.

" didn't know how I was going to recover,"
Let Your lovers help You.
Love ist not only that You clean their house and cook for them: Love also is to ask for help.
Silence makes You sick.

" but I have learnt from these experiences that recovery does eventually happen."
Do You want to be a silent victim again?

" I am extremely sentimental"
So call You lovers, stop beeing a viction
open Your mouth
and stop serve all other people.
Accept help from the loved people.

" Make plans for myself, what I was going to do in the future like take a holiday"
This is a good idea
call Your lovers and go out with them for holidays.
Laugh and love together.
You will enjoy it.

"Just focusing on even little things"
YES
YES
YES
tell You lovers, where You did feel hurt.
Open mouth
enjoy life.

" I found that doing something productive helped a lot too,"

Yes
love and sex and common life is productive
yes
enjoy it with You darlings
only thing You need to do is one phone call.

" Just focusing on even little things"

YES SURE
a little kiss makes You happy.

Sure.

"finishing things."
YES
Make peace with Your lovers.

Good idea.


Just go through the motions
YES
Enjoy to spend the night with Your darling in bed instead to spend the night with the TV machine.



Regards
loveandormoney
Quote:

I have been through some very sad break ups, one after a 5 year relationship and one after a 4 year relationship, and both times it was my partner who left. I was completely devastated both times and didn't know how I was going to recover, but I have learnt from these experiences that recovery does eventually happen.
I am extremely sentimental so maybe that made it harder for me (and still does) but I think that the best way that I was able to handle things was to make plans. Make plans for myself, what I was going to do in the future like take a holiday or plan an artwork, or even just planning the next week... who i would catch up with, what i would try to achieve etc. Just focusing on even little things like that help. I found that doing something productive helped a lot too, so making something or learning something, just building things up and setting yourself up, finishing things... it all helps.
Just go through the motions and survive for a while and then eventually you will realise that things are good again.



Good morning.
Are You a girl or a boy?
If You are a girl, it is wrong to be silent and to be a victim.
Call Your friends make peace and then You will be happy.

"I have been through some very sad break ups, one after a 5 year relationship and one after a 4 year relationship, "
Why do You want to be a victim?

"I was completely devastated both times"
Repair it
take You phones and call Your friends, stop to want to be a silent victim.

This also did make Your darlings angry.

" didn't know how I was going to recover,"
Let Your lovers help You.
Love ist not only that You clean their house and cook for them: Love also is to ask for help.
Silence makes You sick.

" but I have learnt from these experiences that recovery does eventually happen."
Do You want to be a silent victim again?

" I am extremely sentimental"
So call You lovers, stop beeing a viction
open Your mouth
and stop serve all other people.
Accept help from the loved people.

" Make plans for myself, what I was going to do in the future like take a holiday"
This is a good idea
call Your lovers and go out with them for holidays.
Laugh and love together.
You will enjoy it.

"Just focusing on even little things"
YES
YES
YES
tell You lovers, where You did feel hurt.
Open mouth
enjoy life.

" I found that doing something productive helped a lot too,"

Yes
love and sex and common life is productive
yes
enjoy it with You darlings
only thing You need to do is one phone call.

" Just focusing on even little things"

YES SURE
a little kiss makes You happy.

Sure.

"finishing things."
YES
Make peace with Your lovers.

Good idea.


Just go through the motions
YES
Enjoy to spend the night with Your darling in bed instead to spend the night with the TV machine.



Regards
loveandormoney
Quote:

I have been through some very sad break ups, one after a 5 year relationship and one after a 4 year relationship, and both times it was my partner who left. I was completely devastated both times and didn't know how I was going to recover, but I have learnt from these experiences that recovery does eventually happen.
I am extremely sentimental so maybe that made it harder for me (and still does) but I think that the best way that I was able to handle things was to make plans. Make plans for myself, what I was going to do in the future like take a holiday or plan an artwork, or even just planning the next week... who i would catch up with, what i would try to achieve etc. Just focusing on even little things like that help. I found that doing something productive helped a lot too, so making something or learning something, just building things up and setting yourself up, finishing things... it all helps.
Just go through the motions and survive for a while and then eventually you will realise that things are good again.



Good morning.
Are You a girl or a boy?
If You are a girl, it is wrong to be silent and to be a victim.
Call Your friends make peace and then You will be happy.

"I have been through some very sad break ups, one after a 5 year relationship and one after a 4 year relationship, "
Why do You want to be a victim?

"I was completely devastated both times"
Repair it
take You phones and call Your friends, stop to want to be a silent victim.

This also did make Your darlings angry.

" didn't know how I was going to recover,"
Let Your lovers help You.
Love ist not only that You clean their house and cook for them: Love also is to ask for help.
Silence makes You sick.

" but I have learnt from these experiences that recovery does eventually happen."
Do You want to be a silent victim again?

" I am extremely sentimental"
So call You lovers, stop beeing a viction
open Your mouth
and stop serve all other people.
Accept help from the loved people.

" Make plans for myself, what I was going to do in the future like take a holiday"
This is a good idea
call Your lovers and go out with them for holidays.
Laugh and love together.
You will enjoy it.

"Just focusing on even little things"
YES
YES
YES
tell You lovers, where You did feel hurt.
Open mouth
enjoy life.

" I found that doing something productive helped a lot too,"

Yes
love and sex and common life is productive
yes
enjoy it with You darlings
only thing You need to do is one phone call.

" Just focusing on even little things"

YES SURE
a little kiss makes You happy.

Sure.

"finishing things."
YES
Make peace with Your lovers.

Good idea.


Just go through the motions
YES
Enjoy to spend the night with Your darling in bed instead to spend the night with the TV machine.



Regards
talibhsn
Well It's hard when you don't know what is the reason, when your expartner thinks, it better to you not to say you Its your falt and trying to lie with yourselves...
codersfriend
just for humor, I found this a few days ago

[img]http://i.imgur.com/WBv3A0u.jpg?1[/img]
TheLimey
I am about to go through a break up.. has not happened yet but I can sense it. You always do just before it happens. Do not get into long distance relationships people, just don't.
loveandormoney
Good morning

Let us start with a joke:
How does a man leave a woman. He is going out to buy cigarettes and he will never come back.


talibhsn wrote:
Well It's hard when you don't know what is the reason, when your expartner thinks, it better to you not to say you Its your falt and trying to lie with yourselves...



"Well It's hard when you don't know "

Stop enjoying silence.
Open Your mouth.


"It's hard when you don't know what is the reason,"

99% of all relationships talk 10 words or less every day.
Change this.
Laugh with Your darling.

"it better to you not to say you "
If You live some months or years in silence, this is happening to You.

70% of all divorces are, because the man is not saying one word to his wife and his children and then she is going to the lawyer.

So open mouth.


So it is very easy to live a happy relationship:
See what Your darling is thinking.
Stop looking on the floor or on the wall.

Regards
TheGremlyn
loveandormoney wrote:
So it is very easy to live a happy relationship:
See what Your darling is thinking.
Stop looking on the floor or on the wall.


Quite agree with this. Communication is pretty important in a relationship. You need to be able to talk with your partner and it shouldn't feel like you're pulling teeth. When communication breaks down the relationship will probably break down as well.

In the end if you think you're facing a breakup, well you can sit by and let it happen (as some people do and they often take their sweet time about it) or you can get up and do something about it to save the relationship. It all depends on what you want. If you want the relationship to continue then put a little effort into it, if you just want it to end then end it and stop tormenting your partner by dragging it out.

People who drag out a relationship that has gone south either don't have the courage to say "this isn't working and I think it may be the end for us" or they're just an idiot and they're forgotten things like:

"How are you doing today?"
"Why don't we got for a walk and grab some coffee."
"How have things been going at work?"
"Did you want to do anything this weekend?"
"Is something bothering you? If there is I would like to know and help if I can."

And while being in this stage of a relationship can be stressful and unpleasant it's important to remain calm and don't be confrontational. I don't care if you don't think you're being confrontational, the other person probably does so stop it! Don't be selfish.
loveandormoney
TheGremlyn wrote:
loveandormoney wrote:
So it is very easy to live a happy relationship:
See what Your darling is thinking.
Stop looking on the floor or on the wall.


Quite agree with this. Communication is pretty important in a relationship. You need to be able to talk with your partner and it shouldn't feel like you're pulling teeth. When communication breaks down the relationship will probably break down as well.

In the end if you think you're facing a breakup, well you can sit by and let it happen (as some people do and they often take their sweet time about it) or you can get up and do something about it to save the relationship. It all depends on what you want. If you want the relationship to continue then put a little effort into it, if you just want it to end then end it and stop tormenting your partner by dragging it out.

People who drag out a relationship that has gone south either don't have the courage to say "this isn't working and I think it may be the end for us" or they're just an idiot and they're forgotten things like:

"How are you doing today?"
"Why don't we got for a walk and grab some coffee."
"How have things been going at work?"
"Did you want to do anything this weekend?"
"Is something bothering you? If there is I would like to know and help if I can."

And while being in this stage of a relationship can be stressful and unpleasant it's important to remain calm and don't be confrontational. I don't care if you don't think you're being confrontational, the other person probably does so stop it! Don't be selfish.


Don't be selfish


Good morning!
Sorry this is wrong.
Selfish people are happy people.
Today it is Sunday they stay together with their parents and darling and children and enjoy the day.

Selfish people take care for themselves.

" When communication breaks down the relationship will probably break down as well."
Selfish people like communiation.
People who are not selfish are angry with all other people in the world.

"It all depends on what you want."
Yes.
Selfish people want peace.
People who do not like to be selfish want fighting and to be angry alone.

"And while being in this stage of a relationship can be stressful"
Open mouth
and then You are happy.

Regards
alphysudaria143
Pretty good tips for broken hearted there Smile.

I tried to be broken but I never found any tips on how to overcome. I just make myself happy by doing good things like playing basketball, hangout with my friends, join some other activities like dancing and other things that can make me happy Smile
loveandormoney
Can You please explain this sentence?



Quote:

I tried to be broken


Thank You.
loveandormoney
Can You please explain this sentence?



Quote:

I tried to be broken


Thank You.
Mevans9860
Quote:
Relationship breakups are tough. They are emotionally exhausting, and can be incapacitating at times. For some who begin to dwell in regret and sadness, breakups can even spiral into depression. Even the breakups that make the most logical sense are still emotionally painful. And in fact, it is the emotional — not logical — part of ourselves that causes us to dwell in these relationships that we may logically know are not healthy for us.

While a grieving period is expected after a breakup, as breakups are a form of loss, it can be easy to get caught in an emotionally harmful pattern if we don’t actively push ourselves forward in our lives.

So how do we emotionally get through a breakup and also move forward in an emotionally healthy manner?

7 Tips for Getting Over a Breakup

1. Make plans.

Social interaction is one of the keys to moving forward after a breakup. Isolation often leads to being consumed by emotions and thoughts that exacerbate our sadness and upset. Schedule plans in advance to see friends or family at least a few times during the week and weekends, especially if you live alone, and be sure to follow through with them. If you feel you don’t want to be around anyone, which can be common after a breakup, this is the time to act opposite of the urge. Push yourself to interact with people and prevent a pattern of loneliness and depression.

2. Be aware of the rebound.

Breakups often are a time of intense emotional vulnerability. We are seeking stability. When we feel we can’t internally create it, it is quite possible to engage in unhealthy new relationships that cover up healthy relationship grieving.

While at first the replacement relationship brings a sense of euphoria, the unresolved emotions from the previous relationship often return, creating a more complicated and confusing emotional environment. If you find yourself falling into a new and exciting relationship too soon, you could be experiencing a rebound.

3. Participate in hobbies.

Hobbies are a positive way to keep from dwelling in sadness and forming negative patterns. Whether it’s doing a puzzle, going to museums, gardening, bowling, reading, or whatever it is you enjoy doing, allow yourself to create time and space for them. Be sure to include social hobbies as well as individual ones.

4. Keep up daily self-care routines.

It is also important to remember to take care of your daily needs when dealing with a breakup. Go to the gym, jog, swim, walk, cook, etc. Some may feel less motivated to grocery shop, prepare meals, eat, or shower after a breakup. These may require some extra effort at times, but push yourself to continue your daily routines as before.

5. Don’t overwork.

Some might say that throwing yourself into work is a great distraction from a breakup. However, overworking often is an emotionally avoidant behavior. Overworking may allow us to avoid sadness or loneliness because we are busy; however, it creates an imbalance in our lives as well as a negative pattern that can be tough to break. (Decreasing the work to regain more personal time later becomes difficult.) Work as you would normally work, and reserve those other hours in the day for self-care, hobbies, and social plans that you’ll hopefully be continuing or increasing into your week.

6. Set a daily time limit for grieving.

Each person grieves a loss differently. There is no actual time limit for grieving. However, there is a difference between healthy grieving and dwelling in regret and sorrow. Some could spend months consumed by guilt and sadness if we allow ourselves to.

As we move forward, it is still important to acknowledge our pain and other emotions we may feel as the result of a significant breakup. Set a time each day that you will allow yourself to reflect, feel, and process your relationship loss. Setting a timer is helpful for this. I would recommend no more than 20-30 minutes a day, and have an activity scheduled to immediately follow this time.

7. Seek professional help.

Some people feel ashamed and embarrassed that a breakup is consuming or impacting them, especially when the ex-partner is considered “not worth it.” But breakups are painful! We put time, effort, hope, emotion, and much more into our relationships.

Seeing a therapist to process the residual emotions and thoughts is a healthy way to deal with a breakup, especially if you’re feeling guilt, regret or starting to dwell in sadness.Breakups are rarely going to be easy; however, with healthy tools and motivation, we can heal.


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- Ankhanu
Duoiuoi_V
Don't know whether it's better to have a relationship then break up, or forever alone..

I guess I have to "prepare" a lot of friends before starting a relationship. Friends are the ones who beside us after a break up.
loveandormoney
I hope
You have many friends.



A friend is not somebody
who says
the world is awful and bloody.
jamesparker
no doubt its a hard time to go through, just try to not get this , try to understand and ignore misunderstanding.
loveandormoney
jamesparker wrote:
no doubt its a hard time to go through, just try to not get this , try to understand and ignore misunderstanding.


Is solving problems boring?

Does solving problems make sick?
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