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Men are weird.





TwinkleCarnage
Okay....I have a real question to pose here. I need advice. Let me illustrate the situation.I have been with my boyfriend for sometime now. At first he couldn't get enough of me. He always loved being in my company and our sex life was wonderful. Lately, I guess for the past month, he's been oddly detached.Now, he has never been really into cuddling.....And he says he views sex as overrated and that people put too much value on it. He just never wants to anymore. Crying or Very sad He also has this habit of jerking off, a lot..... He only does it when i'm not there... which is fine....but he knows it bothers me. He won't stop. Then sometimes he tells me about how he checks out other women. Which i guess is normal, cuz he is male.....but why should he need to look when he has me? He always reassures me that he is in love with me, very much so.....I just don't know what to do anymore. Is there something wrong with me? How do I become more appealing?
Sadow
It seems that he's evaluating his relationship, but I'm not sure about it.
How long have you guys been seeing each other? and what is your age? and what is the age of your boyfriend? (you can pm me if you don't want that made public, or you could just ignore the questions...)
I'm asking cus ages do often matter.
nappa
I think guys like us always want some excitement. That's why we love porns. Eventhough we already have girlfriend or wife, still we searching for some thrill.

Masterbation is the first sex experience all guys addicted to. It's normal, but the bad thing is if he does it too much he will be too tired to has sex with you.

However it doesn't mean that your boyfriend doesn't love you or breaking up with you. Why don't you watch the porn with him? or have sex follow the lead of the porn movie. That's something excited. Cool
windrei
sorry, maybe he get bored about your body..........

is that his first love ? everyone like changes and excitment. i think he still loves you, but not your body. He wanna "try" different girls.
HoboPelican
I wouldn't jump to any conclusions right away, Carnage. He might just be going through sh*t at work or something. Only way to really know is to talk to him. I imagine you tried that already, right? Got brushed off? Yeah, some guys don't find it very easy to talk out problems with our ladies. Try to find a comfortable way to do it. Maybe a time when you are sharing your vulnerabilities and he is being understanding? Bring it up in a way that won't make him feel like a putz? It's tough to do, but it's probably the only way to find out...

Good luck, kid!
darrenpaul
Yeah I would have to agree, See guys are different to girls, in that when we say nothings wrong nothings wrong whereas girls say nothings wrong and chances are somethings wrong. Just relax he's prob just got other things on his mind...it won't help him and he certainly won't be appreciated if you start thinking somethings wrong, and giving him something else to worry about. For instance I was asked today by three girl mates, was something wrong and they wouldn't believe me when I said "nope"...and thier was really nothing wrong....*sigh* so my advice is just to relax, don't force it and take each day as it comes!!
jaysen
.... i think i would agree with HoboPelican.... it seems like he's got something on his mind.. perhaps he's worried about something or maybe he's stressed out. Without knowing all the details it's hard to say though.... but keep in mind that most guys do have a tough time talking about our feelings for fear of sounding stupid, or saying something we may regret later.

Don't worry too much about it though... what happens will happen anyway... all you can really do is try to be there for him if and when he decides to confide in you. If it turns out that he is tired of the relationship, there really isn't anything you can do as far as changing yourself that will make much difference, but it seems to me that if that is the case he will be the one losing out on a girl that has a lot of love and that isn't scared of showing it. Sometimes peoiple don't realize how much they have until its gone.
altikris
its funny. when your completely satisfied, noone else matters. men will always glance or look at other women. i mean its not like your girl will be running around in different outfits...haha and if she is you would be looking like you look at other girls...haha, men will always glance. if your a girl in a relationship and you feel that your not enough for him, then there is something wrong. re evaluate your own perspectives and if there is anything you can do. try to make things better. if its impossible. move on.
aacronite
i think the harsh fact is.."hes really just not into you"
there is a book on this subject and it might be worth you reading it.

he may still love you but that doesnt mean that hes in love with you.
brilliantbeauty
Men are weird. They are completely odd. Maybe he's jsut being a "Martian Rubber Band." I still can't believe that nothings wrong when they say nothings wrong, but guys are weird liek that. He's probably being typical male with an ego. Rolling Eyes

Cheer youself up, girl, chocolate and chic lit!!!!
Sadow
Twinkle, if your relationship with him started about a year ago, there is a very good possibility that he's no longer in love with you.
And I actually mean: "infatuated".
Recent studies have shown these emotions will last no longer than 12 months. This might be your problem. He might have to deal with the following question: do I really love my Twinkle?

My guess is that's why he's telling you that he checks out other women. Of course it's quite natural for men to look at other women, but if they are telling their girlfriend, it makes you wonder...

I would try to find out what's bugging him. If he doesn't love you enough, he might want out, but maybe he doesn't want to hurt you by saying it to your face.
Now I could be totally wrong about this, just keep that in mind.
Keep the twinkle in your eyes, hun. Wink
HoboPelican
brilliantbeauty wrote:
Men are weird. They are completely odd. Maybe he's jsut being a "Martian Rubber Band." I still can't believe that nothings wrong when they say nothings wrong, but guys are weird liek that. He's probably being typical male with an ego. Rolling Eyes


Ah! A slur against malekind! Smile Beauty, I would never think of disagreeing with you, but I have to point out, in defense of malekind, that it is not just the male of the species that says nothing is wrong when something obviously IS wrong. You ladies can be pretty colse mouthed at times also. The difference is that ladies often expect us to KNOW what the problem is while men just fumble along trying to figure things out alone.

But good advice, despite the slur. Wink

And what is it about women and chocolate? Is it something genetic? Why is it a stereotype for women and not men to find comfort in Chocolate? Confused Confused
Sadow
HoboPelican wrote:

But good advice, despite the slur. Wink

Yep, and may I add it is our nature to discriminate/categorize things/people/gender and it is obviously useful most of the time, but it can also prevent us from being rational.

HoboPelican wrote:

And what is it about women and chocolate? Is it something genetic? Why is it a stereotype for women and not men to find comfort in Chocolate?

It actually is genetic...
Devang
First of all, it's a common feeling in a man, to be off from the same woman, having sex with her. it happens so that the same woman who used made him turn ON, can now make him Turn OFF. It's a common human nature that we don't like a same thing for the longer time.

all u need you is don't show him that you need him. you too try to find out some other guy, insted of being his servant or something like that, which will again make him feel jealousy and he will come back to you, OR he may go forever from you.

ppl need change and space, so give him, and buy for you too.
TwinkleCarnage
Okay, so now for an update. Me and my man are still together, and still very much in love. I'm not sure what happened, but everything just got better. He doesn't do those things I don't like anymore....and our sex life is awesome. So for all those who said that he isn't into me, or he doesn't love me, or wants to try different girls, etc, you were wrong. For the people who gave good advice.....Thank you. It means a lot. I think I was just being too paranoid and it was just driving him nuts. We both give eachother our space, and because of that we have gotten along better too. Very Happy
HoboPelican
TwinkleCarnage wrote:
Okay, so now for an update. Me and my man are still together, and still very much in love.


Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

(Hobo is happy for you guys!)
TwinkleCarnage
Well thank you so much!!!! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
tingkagol
to begin with, you seem to speak more about SEX than the actual relationship itself. We might be guys, but we do get tired about the physical stuff. It would be best to build up your emotional relationship with each other than to think about what kinky undies you're going to wear to bed tonight.
<BananasAreForMonkeys
this is kindof a weird question, from a man's point of view. If he's checking out other women and jerking off, its not that he doesnt have a sex drive- he doesnt want to have sex with you, although it may not be for the reason you think. He may to have a Madonna/wh0re complex...

You ever see analyze this, when robert deniro tells his shrink he has a mistress because he does things with her that he couldnt do with his wife... OK this usually happens after you have children, but maybe you two have become so close that he no longer sees you as a sexual object, but as some kind of lifetime partner. he's put you on such a high pedestal that he no longer wants to screw you...

you two need to talk about this and may need to see someone for help. i dont think you will really find the answer to your particular problem on a message board (unfortunately)... he probably has some catholic guilt thing (im just guessing that he's catholic)
<BananasAreForMonkeys
ooops i didnt read your update before i posted... well anyway, it just shows you that being to co-dependent is a terrible thing for a relationship
Sadow
I am happy to hear the good news, Twinkle! Very Happy
And I hope you two will never tired of each other.
altikris
yes we are. we are so wierd! you know why? because we are MEN! we arent women! women are so different from men. well of course we have to be different. We have different problems, different concerns. oh we're all human. all the same in that respect. but men are the wierd ones i guess, and women, they arent wierd. oh no. (sarcasm)
Sadow
hmm, I definately agree, we are very weird. Mr. Green
Sabrina
I'm sure it's nothing too serious. Maybe he's a bit stressed. He's still with you so there's nothing to worry about. Smile You take care now, and all the best.
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