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Teach your kids these two things please





sonicj
I am turning 40 this year, and as I look back on my life I see two areas that affected my life adversly. I will list these in a moment. We go to school and learn how to read, write, perform mathematical equations, scientific theories, musical scores and even physical fitnes. We spend a minimum of 12 years learning these things. But there are a couple of areas to me that are much more important in life that do not get the attention they need, or at least in my home they did not get it.

1. Love and relationships with a partner.
Most of what kids learn of this is from what they see of their parents. But even if they are in a home where they see a good example, I don't think that is enough. They need to understand what to look for in a partner and why. A person can "fall in love" with a snake, but their "love" won't stop that snake from biting them.

2. Financial responsibities
In it's simplest form I would say to not spend more than you make. Credit can be a blessing but it can also be the biggest curse one would have to deal with. Second only to being in a bad relationship.

I hope this at the very least will cause someone to pause and think about what you teach your kids. Are they really prepared to be thrown into the water? Will they sink or swim?
CrimsonStrange
Agreed, 100%.
We hear all about rising obesity rates, violence in schools & the media, social pressures, etc.
But I think the absolute worst epidemic that the younger generations face is the lack of parental interest & abandonment of parental responsibility that the majority of them have experienced in their lives.
Talking and listening, taking the time & making the effort to care, getting involved, and putting yourself in your child's shoes are (to me) the single most important things you can do to help them become responsible adults.

I also think that a lot of parents don't give their kids proper credit for being intelligent enough to figure out what's being said or implied, the context in which things are said, emotional signals, body language, etc.

On the other hand, just letting kids "figure it out" on their own is a disastrous choice that will ultimately lead to a skewed view of relationships and life overall.

A lot of parents seem to equate fear with respect. I know mine did, and all that theory ultimately did was make me resent them (and authority, in general) as I grew older.

I guess if I could say anything to parents nowadays, it would be "Don't ignore your kids." and "Don't make them feel like a burden."
altikris
If children learned about relationships from their parents, then it would be disasterous. Most married couples have been together for years upon years, and when they are raising their children, they clash in a variety of ways ie; fighting, yelling, cursing, hitting. It is bound to happen in any long term relationship, you clash at times about certain matters.

If children learned everything about relationships from their parents, then they would grow up having relationships that they attribute to their parents relationship with eachother, and it would never work out because they would argue about little nitpicky things, and would think that it is allright because you have to forgive eachother eventually because you are together forever..........NOPE, not in relationships out of marriage. It can really screw up a relationship, believing that your partner will forgive you for everything that you say or do to them. Your not married to this person, they dont have to forgive you, they just dont have to. They'll move on, and you'll have no idea how it happened, because you believed they would forgive and forget just like in your parents relationship.

Children should learn about relationships from a variety of sources; friends, the public, books, whatever! it really helps to see a wealth of information and background on relationships in order to fully appreciate what you can have if you work hard, find someone, and be the best person you can be to them. Share yourself with someone, and not take advantage.
R2.DETARD
society's opinion of a "good" relationship changes generation to generation, so learning from parents is a bad idea.

the money thing is true though, i am saving for a mac mini and not getting it bought for me tought me a lesson in saving that i appreciate.
Sadow
A very commendable advice for kids all around the world, SonicJ. I agree with you all the way. Especially the first advice is crucial for them to lead a happy life.
Citizen Kane
R2.DETARD wrote:
society's opinion of a "good" relationship changes generation to generation, so learning from parents is a bad idea.


learning from parents is generaly speaking a bad idea. research has proven that there is no perfect way to raise children, you will always damage your children SOMEWHERE along the line. If you are being protective then you run the risk that your children wil eventually become scared to do anything without you. If you raise your kids while supporting them not enough you run the risk of your children becoming too willfull and perhaps not capable of distinguishing wrong from right, because of lack of axample.

And this is just protective versus non-protective. There are hundreds of other areas we could be talking about here.

So, making the right choices as a parent is also virtually impossible. But then again, this is EXACTLY the reason why all people are different! if every child would be raised perfectly, all people would be equal!

(also, in life you are what you experience. Since everybody experiences life in a different way, we are all different because of our differing experiences)

Also, what you experience, you pass on to your children. sonicj experienced a lack of certain values during his childhood and his growing up. but emphasizing the compensation of this in raising his own children to much is also a risk where he should be looking out for. I know MANY examples of people who where brought up lacking affection, and they themselves became too protective (amongst others) towards their children.

Mister Nagy (natsj) is the expert on this with his System-theory.

sonicj wrote:
, or at least in my home they did not get it.


How DID you became aware of this and WHY does it mean so much to you now????
S3nd K3ys
sonicj wrote:
Teach your kids these two things please


I agree on the relationships thing. I have taught my (now 3-1/2) son all the in's and out's of a relationship... Wink









You did, however, leave out one important item... the importance of gun control. (especially if your'e dating a Marine's daughter, as my son is shown above...)

Teaching gun control at an early age will benefit them for the rest of their lives...




Sadow
S3nd K3ys wrote:

Teaching gun control at an early age will benefit them for the rest of their lives...


Or they will wind up singing: "Mamma, I just killed a man... put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger now he's dead..."
And I don't mean to be funny by bringing this to you, S3nd K3ys.

I understand having guns is quite normal where you live, and I do not oppose to the right that you have to defend yourself, your children and your house etc. but in my opinion we should ban guns from our lives.

I hear you say: "then we might not be able to defend what is ours" and I would say: "you might be right, but my ice-hockey stick laying underneath my bed will not be soft as well on the head of the burglar who enters my house seeking a terrible headache without knowing...", but if we raise our kids and teaching them using guns, they might just be the next generation of mobsters terrorizing innocent folk.

Now I hear you say: "my kid will never do sucha thing" and I say to you now: "the mother of Adolf Hitler also loved her son as he was prolly just as lovable as your kid when Adolf was his age..."

You say: "yeah, but I teach my children to do good"
I say: "yes, I also try to teach my son to do good..."
S3nd K3ys
Sadow wrote:
S3nd K3ys wrote:

Teaching gun control at an early age will benefit them for the rest of their lives...


Or they will wind up singing: "Mamma, I just killed a man... put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger now he's dead..."
And I don't mean to be funny by bringing this to you, S3nd K3ys.

I understand having guns is quite normal where you live, and I do not oppose to the right that you have to defend yourself, your children and your house etc. but in my opinion we should ban guns from our lives.

I hear you say: "then we might not be able to defend what is ours" and I would say: "you might be right, but my ice-hockey stick laying underneath my bed will not be soft as well on the head of the burglar who enters my house seeking a terrible headache without knowing...", but if we raise our kids and teaching them using guns, they might just be the next generation of mobsters terrorizing innocent folk.

Now I hear you say: "my kid will never do sucha thing" and I say to you now: "the mother of Adolf Hitler also loved her son as he was prolly just as lovable as your kid when Adolf was his age..."

You say: "yeah, but I teach my children to do good"
I say: "yes, I also try to teach my son to do good..."


Um. Ok. :shrug:

If you don't want to have guns, that's ok with me.

I choose to have them. I choose to educate my children about them because, like it or not, they ARE part of life. They're also great fun and priceless tools if the need arises. I can't say if my kids will grow up to be murders or gangsters. But I can say that they will be educated and able to make their own decisions. And it is largly up to me what those decisions will be.

I don't ever remember not using them, so mayhaps I am biased. Either way, education is key. Teaching respect will get respect. The opposite also applies.

BTW, your hocky stick won't hold up well against just about any gun. That's right up there with bringing a knife to a gun fight... Laughing Laughing Laughing
sonicj
Citizen Kane wrote:


sonicj wrote:
, or at least in my home they did not get it.


How DID you became aware of this and WHY does it mean so much to you now????


I became aware of the relationship part by experiencing several bad choices in picking a partner...which lead me to examine how I was picking them. Some of this could have been avoided if I had been given some good advice in the beginning. Of course I understand that does not mean I would have taken that advice.

Same in finances....learned the hard way.

The why it is important is because both of those areas have caused me much pain and problems that could have been avoided or at the very least the effect lessened.

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