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Do looks matter?





LA Ridge
I know that a lot of us say no. Then again, our media plays up the aspects of hard bodies and movie star looks.

I grew up a pretty good looking kid, thought it would get me anything I wanted. It got me stuff alright. There is a problem with that though... Can you guess what that is?

What do you think about this subject?
Hobbit
They matter to me, I'm not gonna lie. But I wouldn't date a pretty girl that's a bitch, they have to have look good on both sides.
girlcalledjay
The first thing that attracted me to my (now) husband was how tall and spunky he was. What made me fall in love with him though were his humour, intelligence and the way he makes me feel good to be me.

The attraction is what draws you to a person, the deeper qualities are what keep you with him (or her). The common interests and values and goals are more important than a sculpted body.

Experience tells me that the people most concerned with looks are a bit shallow. More interested in themselves than the what is going on outside of their own little world. Some are insecure too and don't know if they are loved for themselves or for their looks. Sure, they get what they want...or what they THINK they want...but they sometimes discover that it's not really enough.
LA Ridge
Hey Hobbit... That site you have is pretty hot! Is that your baby? I am a promoter and my promotion site will be up soon (this weekend). Would like to get together with you on what your doing there at your site. It looks really good. Is is unsigned artists?

You know, it's funny. Reading what "girlcalledjay" wrote seems to sum up what I have been noticing a lot. Women are deeper emotionally in what appeals to them. I would often wonder when I was young and I saw some real hottie with this dorky looking guy. I'm the dorky looking guy now so I know... Laughing
Hobbit
Yes that's my site, and those are unsigned artists, at least not from big record labels.

Anyways, more thoughts on this. Other than looks and how a person is, I really care about their intellectual side. I have some girlfriends that have "blonde moments" all the time, and it kills the mood. Shocked Smart girls is definately a plus.
rightclickscott
I've been told I'm "sexy insane," but I don't see it...

I'll admit, I can be pretty shallow. The first thing I noticed about my ex were her big breasts. And they were huge. It was her Otaku'dness and personality that got me to love her, but she stopped loving me. And I did love her. Now, I don't know where I lie. I don't know whether I want a girl I want to love forever or just some hot chick to screw. Or maybe it's both, or niether. Maybe I should just stay away from girls and focus on my work. I don't really know anymore, and I think the impecable whit and charm I used to have been exchanged for angst and...

Eyebrows...

It's the eyebrows, isn't it?
LA Ridge
Laughing Rightclickscott... I have to check out that site a little more. It looks interesting.

I have raised both boys and girls. I have kids that are in their 30 somethings now and I have always told the girls the truth about men. The first thing a guy thinks when he first notices a woman is: "Would I screw that?" It is the VERY FIRST thought that comes to our head.

Now I know there are going to be some guys out here who want to get laid and will deny it, but it doesn't matter because we all know the truth.

I am currently in the most mature, laidback relationship I have ever been in my entire life! I can just be me and not have to pretend or "be trained" to be anything else. That my friends is relationship Nirvana!
soulman
Quote:
I have raised both boys and girls. I have kids that are in their 30 somethings now and I have always told the girls the truth about men.


well, your must be a truth educator cause if I were you, I doubt if I dare to tell my children about these....
LA Ridge
Well let me put it this way... It's better to be real than be real sorry! I tell everybody like it is, my children are no exception. AND, they were 12 or 13 years old when I started sharing that information. That is the problem with parents, they don't have the guts to be real! It is a hard world out there, better to be ready for it then get hit upside your head!

Basically all I can say is come back and see me when you have teenagers of your own. Rugrats don't count... Teenagers are what separates the men from the boys and the woman from the girls in parenting. If you can raise them up to adults without killing them, or them killing you, or either one of you going to the prison, then you have accomplished something.

Nice ARTWORK by the way. Very talented! I am a 3d Freakzoid, so I really like the stuff you have on that site for sure.

We are off topic here though. But that's ok I guess.
Neo7
Looks can help bypass certain things, but not everything
ashok
well it depends upon the other person.. some might give good looks extra points where as some dont. Personally i give some weightage to good looks, but what matters more is the mental personality. I suggest we can put a poll about this..
AJ_Partow
I think Yes because too initially attract a girl, you have to be somewhat attractive so they even consider it, then once that is out of the way, they begin to analyse how you act, body language etc... to make their final decision regarding if they like you or not.
manhattan<3
Even though the world teaches us to look beyond the surface, everybody, when they first see you, sees you on the surface because they've got nothing else to go by.
Jack_Hammer
Of course looks matter, it's not hard to figure that one out, when you glance at someone you automatically make judgments on that person because of the way they look.
LA Ridge
Matter how? In the long term they mean chemical attraction. But everybody gets old at some point. So what then?

Let me tell you my experience. This was just me, no big deal.

When I was young I was always doted on by my parents and others about how good looking I was. And I was. It got me a lot of doors opened and so forth. Unfortunately, there was little substance behind the mask so I really got little out of it. Many girls avoided me thinking I was a love 'em and leave 'em. There were other issues with it too.

I used to laugh at fat guys with bald heads and no teeth. Then one day it happened! I was a fat guy with no teeth and losing my hair!



This picture here I had just turned 40. I really thought I was doing well on the physical side, but I was miserable inside! Then, out of nowhere I started to deteriorate. I balloned up to 295 (I'm 210 in the pic) and my teeth just started falling out! I have always had a receding hairline, and I just started wearing it super short, so no big deal. But, the point is that I was now a big fat guy, balding and no teeth!

But I was happy! Wierd as it sounds I actually quit focusing on the outside and started digging inside, and I liked what I found out.

I got my teeth fixed and lost about 60 pounds. Started working out again, but I am still losing my hair so I wear it like I did in my Marine Corps days and people think I've always looked like that. I am not as good looking as I once was, but I am happier and that counts for so much more!

So a deeper question would be: How do your personal looks effect you and what do they mean to you?
chargoyle
It's really hard to say. On one hand, no because who you are inside and how you handle situations says more than looks ever can. But, if you want people to hear your ideas and to respect you, looking good makes it easier. There is a fine balance between physical appearance and what your internal compostion is. Being happy with oneself, both internally and externally is the key.
jveezy
Sure, looks help you start a relationship.

But 20 years later, tits start sagging, hair turns grey, teeth fall out, bellies expand, and butts start wrinkling and all that's left for you to love is personality.
screamingdecay
To a certain extent,
I will not date a fat woman, or one that is dumb as a door knob..

I kinda go for certin look, must be cute the works... If they dont got a body I dont mind really... alongs they got boobs to an extent lol Razz
LA Ridge
jveezy wrote:
Sure, looks help you start a relationship.

But 20 years later, tits start sagging, hair turns grey, teeth fall out, bellies expand, and butts start wrinkling and all that's left for you to love is personality.


No kidding. But you can take care of yourself and not just turn into a slob because you are in a relationship.

I found out a lot during my quest as a fat, ugly guy. I found out I was rather mean and liked to fight with EVERYBODY! I kind of knew that already, but once I hit 280 people started taking me real seriously. I got into a hassle at the Veterans Administration last 9/11. 5 cops I was duking it with. They won of course, but they let me go in about an hour. I also learned that fighting with everybody was a lot of work, so I mellowed out a little.

I also learned that just because someone is overweight and maybe not too good looking, does not mean they are not happy! That was my mistake all along, thinking they must be miserable. I also learned to be careful who I make fun of, I will probably end up in the same situation.

As far as women go, getting back to other peoples looks, if a woman isn't sloppy a*s*s fat, but just a little plump... I can dig that! And if they have an overly well developed bod, the face can be adjusted to, or vice versa.

As far as dumb verses intelligent... It depends. I don't like woman that argue all the time, and usually bright women do. But I don't like them so stupid they can't do anything on their own either. And I can't STAND women who want to change you! That is intolerable.

Quote:
t's really hard to say. On one hand, no because who you are inside and how you handle situations says more than looks ever can. But, if you want people to hear your ideas and to respect you, looking good makes it easier. There is a fine balance between physical appearance and what your internal compostion is. Being happy with oneself, both internally and externally is the key.
_________________
CHARGOYLE.TK


I agree with this point here. My looks kept me from going to jail more times than I can count. They also got me a lot of jobs and such. The problem was that I was pretty flakey, so keeping those jobs was always a problem.
Saryon
Well, I still think both are important. The first thing you notice about a person are the looks. If he/she is ugly, you'll feel less atracted to him/her. However, if he/she looks very nice, but has a bad personality, it won't last for long.
nilsmo
I don't really care about my looks. On the computer your looks don't matter, just what you type. Smile
xoxmeholly
We might like to say that they don't...but just take a look at society. Looks are everything. They can be the difference between getting a job and not- the councilors lecture us about not showing up to a job interview with 5 hair colors.
john01385
i think that obviously looks always matter, if its what we type, how we dress or what car we drive looks will always matter. but thats only in the short term. most people are able to see through looks and find out the person inside. imagine if it was ONLY looks that mattered though? we'd all act like celebrities.
toughtrio
Yes I think it does matter all the time. Telling everyone that it doesnt make a difference doesnot change the real thing. WE all know that looks always do matter, whetther in school or near your workplace. Still ignoring it doesnot seem to do the job. I am not that good looking and so you see i am always dropped in school.

Anyways everyone has a different opinion, so share it all.

Warm Regards,
kam311
Of course it matters. But it's not all important. I have very attractive friends, who, once you get to know them may not be so attractive after learning their personality, but those who aren't as attractive may seem better if they have a nice personality and all. But still, anyone who say looks aren't important is probably lying....unless they're blind...
LA Ridge
Looks only "Matter" in some instances when it comes to jobs, etc. If you are getting job that requires extreme skill, your looks are secondary, unless you are just an out and out slob. If you are getting a high level sales job, I guess it matters. What kind of car you drive, etc. only matters to wanna be rich people. When you are trying to get laid, and you're lacking in all other departments, some outside thing might make you look important to shallow people, but outside trappings don't mean squat.

Affluence = In debt up to your eyeballs! Wealthy = You drive whatever car you feel like, even if it is an old Ford pick up truck.

Wealthy well adjusted people don't get hung up on branding. If they like it, they buy it. They don't do it to impress anyone. Only Wanna Be affluent people do that. The Burbs are full of them. One person in that family loses their high paying job and it's off to the pawn shop! It's usually the kids of these type of people who THINK they are rich. They are about two paychecks away from homeless, just like most average people. The bigger they are the harder they fall.
Scott
Quote:
The first thing a guy thinks when he first notices a woman is: "Would I screw that?" It is the VERY FIRST thought that comes to our head.

Now I know there are going to be some guys out here who want to get laid and will deny it, but it doesn't matter because we all know the truth.


I've got to disagree. While as a teenager I think about sex a lot, and I certainly don't dislike sex, it usually isn't the first thing I think about when I see a girl. And often the girls who I find really sexually attractive arn't the ones who I would want to date. Looks still play a pretty big role to me though, I like girls who are cute, clean and somewhat fit, but "sexyness" doesn't really matter.
SNES350
rightclickscott wrote:
I don't really know anymore, and I think the impecable whit and charm I used to have been exchanged for angst and...

Eyebrows...

It's the eyebrows, isn't it?


I surprise myself how I notice strange eyebrows, so I assume that this actually is a part of it. Rather strange for me, though, since I have a unibrow.

Except for being overweight (perceptibly with an appropriate for height shirt), I can push physical appearances aside eventually. Except maybe being a complete slob.

Intelligence drives me insane though. I'm frustrated when others (in real life or even on television) take actions I would not have and end up worse off for it.
Jeslyn
I believe looks matter, but a lot of people mistake that statement for meaning that looks are the only thing that matter. Looks are just another branch as all qualities are.
wumingsden
I think looks are what start the relationship. However, people seem to forget that whenever someone is attracted to someone it is their personal taste. For examlpe, many people above have said that they will never go out with a "fat" person - what you have to understand is that some people only like "fat" people and that the word "fat" is just an expression of being different. Like every label, if your not in the main-stream then there is always a label that people will class you as. For exmaple, my idea weight is 64 kgs, I currently weight 51.25 kgs. There are all kinds of names that people choose to call me, that is their perogitive. Some people like being "skinny", whilst some people like being "fat" - the same goes for one's personal preference in our partner('s). Looks shouldn't mean a great difference, they don't even last no matter how much money you spend to try and reverse the affects. Live with what you like and have got, and don't let other people try and change your preference, thats what I believe.
leat397
Sorry to say, it really matter although many people proclaim its not.
I think it doesn't matter unless you could show your talented/ specialties....all "internal beauties" to the other at first sight.
the very begining contact between people and first impression is always be on the explicit factors.....
Fortunately, in the long run, such explicit influences would eventually be eliminated when other know more about inside your body...
the problem is, whether there is chance and time to reveals the true you in these information and fast pacing age.......
LA Ridge
Scott wrote:
Quote:
The first thing a guy thinks when he first notices a woman is: "Would I screw that?" It is the VERY FIRST thought that comes to our head.

Now I know there are going to be some guys out here who want to get laid and will deny it, but it doesn't matter because we all know the truth.


I've got to disagree. While as a teenager I think about sex a lot, and I certainly don't dislike sex, it usually isn't the first thing I think about when I see a girl. And often the girls who I find really sexually attractive arn't the ones who I would want to date. Looks still play a pretty big role to me though, I like girls who are cute, clean and somewhat fit, but "sexyness" doesn't really matter.


Don't worry Scott. If you are still a teenager your hormones haven't begun to get as bad as they will in your twenties. Give it time. That is ALL you will think about for years! Now, if you are smart, you will recognize it and temper it. If not it can get completely out of control! Trust me. Look at former President Clinton for an example of a man and his hormones out of control. And at that time he was the most powerful man on the planet!

Looks do matter. But they are not the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. Your grooming and the way you take care of yourself and respect yourself carries WAY more weight than your looks alone!

I would rather be ugly but kind and intelligent, than great looking, dense and unkind. That's a no brainer for me. Wasn't always the case, but I understand more now.
Catastrophic Fairy
Well, in my own personal oppinion, looks are secondary. I am more attracted to personallity, which is probly the reason I get into such trouble. ^^; Heh... It's hard to tell who's pretending to be a sweet person and who isn't. But I would much rather the sweet guy who looks icky over the hot guy with the ego the size of Texas. Just my own oppinion. D:
Idoru
There was an inquiery when I was in school about grades, in wich the
question was asked employers how important what was. Not all
surprisingly the grades came at seventh place, while looks was on
the second or third. Don't remeber clearlly.

I'd say that it defenitly matters, but then there's also more to it. Without
depth it witters :-&
karysky
It does matter.

To be attracted to a person, that person needs to be physicaly attractive to you. Like the second poster said, the attractiveness is what draws you to a person, and the personality is what makes you stay with that person.

But I'm not saying that what we see on TV is the only attractiveness that can be reached though. Not many girls think my boyfriend is really handsome, but I do think he's handsome, and that's what's important I think.
tyrant
We can't decide how we look like, our facial structure, complexion etc is based on genetics and thus realistically there is a wide range from ugly to gorgeous.

However i feel that the way you look is not as important as how you carry yourself. Being that suave dude or babe , having the charm, wearing the right clothes making a good impression and much more is what makes a person look good. Heck, tons of girls look like shit , but makeup does a great job of hiding that!

I think what really matters is finding the right people that appreicate you for who you are. Look at brad pitt, yea he's good looking that what a many people say, but there are others who would like to say otherwise. Even those who think he's good looking dont spend their whole lives worshipping him , they have their own lives, their own relationships and so on and forth.

Being a stunner is not important unless that person is really superficial. People like that are not worth it.

cheers
LA Ridge
I've been hearing the word "Worship" in a couple of threads. I find that interesting. I haven't thought about worshipping anyone except the obvious for quite awhile, but I do remember "obessessing" over someone. I always equate worship with alters, prayer and idols that you carry around, etc. I do remember praying to be with someone when I was younger.

I remember years ago, there have been a couple of different themes related to this, but an Outer Limits program where everybody was waiting for this person to heal that had plastic surgery. When they unvailed her she was beautiful, but they gasped, and then the camera panned over and everyone else was really bizzare looking. Also Planet of the Apes was a theme that had that kind of vibe. Where the apes where beautiful and intelligent and we were the animals in a cage.

So it must be a combination of perception (Eye of the beholder) and culture. Tribes in New Guinea are very primitive, wear bones in their noses, etc, but are beautiful to each other.

I mean, what about these really ugly dogs? Ok, I don't care what you say, Pugs are ugly little dogs! So are Chihuahua's, they look like rats. In fact... What about rats? I can see something as "So ugly it is cute" as the old saying goes. I used to have this REALLY big rat, looked like it was straight out of the sewer. Cool rat though. I would never own another, they are rather nasty, but the point is that I thought the rat was cool. Nobody else liked it too much. Or what about snakes? I dig snakes. Most people think they are ugly or scary, I don't. Some people think scorpions are beautiful, I think they are very scary looking! I'm not scared of much, but I saw a scorpion on my wall here at home one day and freaked!

So what do you think is really cool or beautiful to you that other people find disgusting, or?
Juggling_man
I myself dont think looks matter (to an extent). but I do think that to the rest of the world (except for us Frihosters! lol) it kind of does matter. just think of American Idol... the past 5 winners have look pretty good (ok maybe not Taylor Hicks. but getting jobs and stuff I do think that it would help to look good. But I dont think thats very fair. and for people who think it does, SHAME ON YOU.
LA Ridge
Scott wrote:
Quote:
The first thing a guy thinks when he first notices a woman is: "Would I screw that?" It is the VERY FIRST thought that comes to our head.

Now I know there are going to be some guys out here who want to get laid and will deny it, but it doesn't matter because we all know the truth.


I've got to disagree. While as a teenager I think about sex a lot, and I certainly don't dislike sex, it usually isn't the first thing I think about when I see a girl. And often the girls who I find really sexually attractive arn't the ones who I would want to date. Looks still play a pretty big role to me though, I like girls who are cute, clean and somewhat fit, but "sexyness" doesn't really matter.


You can disagree Scott. Maybe you are an exception to some rule. Maybe kids are changing. Who knows. But, as I said you cannot disagree with what I said about what happens when you are older (if you read that) because you are not there yet. You cannot disagree with something you haven't experienced yet.

I will buy the rest of your argument for now. Since you are still a teenager.
LA Ridge
Juggling_man wrote:
I myself dont think looks matter (to an extent). but I do think that to the rest of the world (except for us Frihosters! lol) it kind of does matter. just think of American Idol... the past 5 winners have look pretty good (ok maybe not Taylor Hicks. but getting jobs and stuff I do think that it would help to look good. But I dont think thats very fair. and for people who think it does, SHAME ON YOU.



Ruben Studdard wasn't good looking. Fantasia is not that hot. What about Mandeesa in this years competition. She got voted off, but people LOVED her! You could tell by the crowd reaction finals night. I am a talent promoter. Looks are not the main issue. I mean if you are scary, then become a Rob Zombie or Marilyn Manson. If you are homely, be a Mick Jagger, or Steven Tyler. What about Danny Devito, is he hot?

So looks are mattering a little less when you think of it this way. Kind of backs up your point a lot.

Looks don't mean SQUAT! I have known lots of good looking people who are a waste of airspace as far as I'm concerned.

Name some more not so hot famous people. I bet you find a boatload!
meet in rio
I could only scratch the surface of such a huge question, but I will say this:

I find myself immensely physically attracted to the ddest people, simply because they are charismatic/intelligent/witty. I could sit here all day describing how my 'perfect man' would look, but it all goes out the window when I meet someone cool like that.

My latest crush? A welshman with long, curly red hair--a far cry from your tall, dark stranger.
snowboardude
i personally dont think so.

i honestly can say ive never made a decision about someone of the opposite gender because of looks. (tho my g/f is still rly hot Wink

yea flame me if you want to, but thats my opinion, and i choose to stand by it.
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