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The girl i adored likes my best friend...





TheDarkLord
My school dance is in two days... same day as my birthday... Im in grade six... the girl i have adored for two years today asked my best friend to the dance... now i am heart broken? what should i do? if my best friend accepts, i will spend two hours of my birthday seeing my best friend on a prom date with the girl i like... help me, what should i do?
Citizen Kane
TheDarkLord wrote:
My school dance is in two days... same day as my birthday... Im in grade six... the girl i have adored for two years today asked my best friend to the dance... now i am heart broken? what should i do? if my best friend accepts, i will spend two hours of my birthday seeing my best friend on a prom date with the girl i like... help me, what should i do?


A pretty nasty situation and you told a lot in the short story about how you would feel about the worst case scenario.

There could be all kinds of reasons the girl asked your best friend out. One of them could be that she really likes him. But another reason could also be that she just doesn't know how to get close to you and has decided to do that by talking to your best friend while being his date on the prom. not realising how it would hurt you seeing her with another....

Younger people kinda tend to do this. It happened to me a couple of times, even as an adult. My advice would be this:

Try to be as clear about your feelings as possible to her. The fact that you adored her for two years and she asks your best friend out to the prom states that you could have been much clearer about your feelings. Did you tell her about the way you feel? do you know how she feels about you?

Guessing about this kinda stuff is really making things worse usually. People tend to see things differently. you can't read each others mind and this makes for awkward situations most of the time.

So, GO AND TALK TO HER!!

I know, this is kinda risky, but pain and being dissapointed and not seeing your feelings awnsered are all things that are part of life. Deal with them and this situation will eventually be as easy as cake. Who know's she might even like you still!

In the Netherlands it's called: "you already have the NO, so go after the YES!"

or: "Dare to be BOLD"
Sabz
Citizen Kane wrote:
Try to be as clear about your feelings as possible to her. The fact that you adored her for two years and she asks your best friend out to the prom states that you could have been much clearer about your feelings. Did you tell her about the way you feel? do you know how she feels about you?

Guessing about this kinda stuff is really making things worse usually. People tend to see things differently. you can't read each others mind and this makes for awkward situations most of the time.


I definitely agree with that. In addition to that, I think you need to let your best friend know how you feel about this girl, if he doesn't already know. I would personally never go out with a guy that one of my close friends like, because I know that would just hurt my friend a lot. If he is a real friend he would not accept to go to the dance with her. That would then give you a bit more time to let that girl know how you feel. Maybe you should even ask her to the dance right now!! Wink As scary as it may be, just get it over and done with. And make sure you are confident when you ask her. Confidence is such an important factor when it comes to making girls attracted to guys!
sonicj
Sabz wrote:

I definitely agree with that. In addition to that, I think you need to let your best friend know how you feel about this girl, if he doesn't already know.


If the best friend does not know, then there is a good chance the girl has no idea. Just a thought.
Jim_the_cat
oh and can I add something?
DO NOT (and I mean it) get mad at your friend, its not his fault.
and basically what people above me said, awsome advice!
marques1975
Hi!

Although I have 30 years now, I understand exactly what you feel.
Iím married now, but when I was young I felt in love for three or four girls.
I learned a lot of things since my first passion, I learned that there are a lot of trees in the forest, none of them is perfect, but there are a lot of qualities in each one of them.
So, in the first place, I think you should speak to her: itís better if you listen: ďNoĒ, or "why?Ē than "Why didnít you tell me?Ē some years later.
I regret all the words I wanted to say and I didnít. I regret I didnít express myself the right way, I regret that I didnít pay attention to their signs. I lost some dreams, I lost some time, but Iím still here, and Iím happy.
I didnít have the love of the first girl I loved; I didnít have the love of some girls that even today I think about with tenderness. I lost two of the girls I love for friends of mine, and they are married today with people I donít know. But my friends are still my friends, friendship, when is true, lasts forever.
Donít be too sad if she goes with your friend, if you love her, and you want her to be happy, you shall accept it, but only after you try.
Remember you have lots of qualities, and that we have a lower image of ourselves comparing to the image the others have about us. Perhaps that girl donít even imagine how you feel about her, how you awake thinking on her, how you go to sleep with her on your mind, how you miss her one sheís far.
Have fun, enjoy your youth and put yourself in first place, no one is more important than you. May be you conquer her; maybe you donít, but if itís not her, be patient, because there is someone very special waiting for you.

Do your very best and good luck!

Oscar
jakemuk
ive been here before and all i can say is,

that your mates are around longer then any girl is gona be , dont you and your mate fall out over it,

im talking from bad experience in which me and a mate ended up fighting in a nightclub other a girl luckily in the morning the next day we were both fine and are still freinds to this day, but ive seen it not always end up like that and people have lost mates etc.

upto you but take the advice if i was you
brilliantbeauty
Good god, sixth grade, just two years ago, crazy 'like' riccochet that I still haven't got off yet.

There is a good chance she doesn't know, and from personal experience, we warm up a lot when we know there is a requited emotion, regardless whether we had feelings for the guy before or not.

The other one is the classic, my friends and I did (and still do) this. She likes you except she is frustrated with your lack fo action so she hopes to spur you by going with your friend.

Try not to get mad at your friend. Smile

REally try.

Good luck and ASK HER!!!!!

Plenty of people I know missed their oppurtunities because they were too scared. Confused
ken1990
there is these girl that i loved so much, i told her about my feelings towards her but she said no..but she is too attached to my best friend which i hate and the thin hurt me so much seeing them together..i dont know what to do
pauline5765
You can't do anything, really. That's life, but it's not the end of life. Go find another girl. Although you're heartbroken and all, the best next thing to do is to stay strong and have the guts to move on.
Coen
Talking to the girl in question sounds like the best way to go. Either that or letting it slide. She may have just asked your friend because she likes him as a friend and figures it's therefore a good decision to go with him, seeing nothing awkward will happen. Although you should not rule out the possibility of her liking him completely.

All in all, you can either go and talk to her, explain the situation to her and tell her how you feel and see how she responds, or you can just let it slide and see what happens (provided anything does happen in the first place). Talking to her might be difficult, but at least that way you know for sure that what you feel is out in the open.
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