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Are you with the one you truly love?





hprincivil
Hi everybody,

I was just wondering. I often hear that people settle for the best secenario when it comes to love. People end up being with someone that's financially stable has oppose to the person they truly love. What's your out take on that people let me hear it!
Itachi
I don't look for people that are "financially stable" I am with a wonderful girl that i hope to marry someday in the future, and yes i do truly love her with all of my heart.

~Itachi
CrimsonStrange
I lost my soul mate 10 years ago to a car crash and haven't had any sort of relationship with another person since, but when he & I were together, we were inseparable and had planned to be together forever.
Money (or the lack of it) was never a factor in our feelings for each other.

My mother was a prime example of what you're talking about, hprincivil. She was married 4 times in her life to men who were very bad for her, both emotionally & physically. But because those men were "financially stable", she felt as if she had no other option but to remain with them, despite the physical abuse she suffered on an almost constant basis.
molif
Itachi wrote:
I don't look for people that are "financially stable" I am with a wonderful girl that i hope to marry someday in the future, and yes i do truly love her with all of my heart.

~Itachi


so true man.. love is something u cannot compare with money.. money can give u happiness, thats right, cant deny.. but love gives u a genuine feeling of happiness which nothing on this earth could ever match the feeling..
UlrikeSE
I only love myself.

I do have someone though, different and irreplacable, whom I could trust with my life.
OtakuBoi
Quote:
I only love myself.


^ oohhhhhk... lol

Well to answer the question on my part is, I have someone I love, but it's from a far... If I could be with them I would, and I think they love me too, but I was gone for a while trying to get my life back on track and I couldn't see her at all, when I went to see her again, she was with another person...

I don't care about anyone else, no matter ethnicity, how hot, how cute, how nice.. I would still want to be with her no matter what (i would still want to be with her if she had a penis or something lol)
brummyphil
hprincivil wrote:
Hi everybody,

I was just wondering. I often hear that people settle for the best secenario when it comes to love. People end up being with someone that's financially stable has oppose to the person they truly love. What's your out take on that people let me hear it!


You should NEVER settle for second best..Too often we are so caught up with day to day existence that we never push ourselves to really achieve what we are so cabable of.This is especially true in relationships...
I know as i am a mental health nurse who has worked with lots of couples with problems...So many need to split up but are too scared! what are these people scared of?

Have you heard the saying "better the devile you know?"

People would rather accept abuse, anger,resentment and arguments than take control of their life.......

Still I know you can change things fo rthe better I HAVE!!

I was married and it was an ok marriage ........ The trust went and it ended....I took stock of my life and what i really wanted and now i have the girl of my dreams.....truly.
There are methods and tools to change any part of our lives if we really want to..

phil


Never live in the past but always learn from it.
- unknown
Slammer
Ive been with my 'soul mate' for 1 and a half years exactly today. And we both hope that we will be together forever, were still young, so you never know what will happen, but we can both hope and wish and work at it to make sure that we are. Thats one of the main things about having a long lasting relationship...working at it, talking a lot etc.
dragonflame
Loving only one woman is like loving only one chocolate, or food, or game, or whatever.

Different women have different qualities that just turns my heart into jello.

*sigh*
indianinworld
People comprise on things and then they look out for better things. This is True. Even most of the ppl. who were in Love, must have experienced this.

I too loved a girl. I had true feelings for her. But i really had no Idea on whether she loved me or not.

But she cared for me. She always says to me " I miss you". I don't know what is the truth.

Now she has shifter her job to some other company and she is leaving in the different part of the country.

I have started to keep a very good height of distance from her (by saying her not to mail me or SMS me or Call me) to avoid my Feelings to her. Embarassed

These days i always advise ppl. " Don't love. It is pain - Even if it is a success ".

And i also add "Prevention is Better than Cure". Better keep away some distance. Rolling Eyes
ohfudge
Yes, I am truly in love with the one I am with. It's not about the material things. Those are just a plus. Cool But what really matters is how we feel for each other and that is the greatest gift I girl like myself can get.
songsalways
It was a normal beginning, as normal as it could be,
With persevering tell-tales, tell tales of insist,
Encouraging and romantic… like friends do
I always resisted though, till the end, until I broke.

It is a long way now,
When there used to be golden sunsets,
And music in my head all the time,
I used to splash the rain water… scattered in the way

friends, crowd, music, classes, bunks, run,
life, love, ~infatuations~, dumps, cries, beer,
intro, drama, hide & seek, revelations,
slogan, broken glasses, bricked pavements ~broken bricks, fights

can u explain the consequences,
NO!
I guess u cant.
I m sure u cant.

Please don’t hide,
Don’t,
At least the matters, which r the agendas u r going to use,
and when finally I have to decide based upon those!!!






Now,
Overwhelmed…
I live…with rashes,
Trying my best to avoid, or at least sooth ‘em






and,
now u suggest me, explain me, my own story
what do u know?
a tip of an iceberg!!!

a’rite, this is one facet,
of a jumbled up and asymmetrical diamond
its my justification, yes may be just the justification!
But ITS MY LIFE, ITS MINE!!!
Insanity
What is love, really?
wowz
social stratification

you're most likely not going to be with someone that is rich compared to you.. it happens less often than most think

because class seperates people. if your friends all have money, and you don't.. they all go out to movies, you can't.. they go out to lunch, you can't.. etc.. eventually they stop being your friends... oh you might still keep in touch, but because you don't do as much with them, you just become distanced natrually. instead you will tend to hang out with people in your social class...

and because of this, you will probably end up being with someone in the same financial situation as you




but in this ever changing world..
i'm finding that the ruling principals of social straitification are becoming less and less of a problem. geography used to be one of them, but because of the net, people can keep in touch over great distances. people are even getting married over such distances. heck, even me.. my best friend for the past 6 years lives on a totally different contient.
and the money thing is also changing. but not as much. those who are extremely poor are not seen with those who are extremely rich. it just doesn't happen that often yet... yet Wink



but in answer to your question, i'd rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable
Citizen Kane
funny, I've met women who'd do this kinda stuff on a daily basis.

I think that the social stratification is a very good explanation why money or a best case scenario DOESN'T seem to happen to people. BUT:

WHO would like to admit that he or she chose her partner because of a best case scenario. In that best case scenario the other (chosen) person would in fact be also nice to be with, but not as nice as the one who yoou realy liked). Isn't that a darker side of being human that we all try to keep well hidden and out of sight? our true motivations are always hidden, sometimes even from ourselves.

It even might be like this: you meet one person who you realy like, and even fall in love with, but then you meet this other, more stable person and fall in love with him or her just because of that stableness and that best case scenario. the love and the best case scenario are connected to eachother instead of being separate factors.

as for the social stratification; I always tend to look for a certain equalness in social level when I meet women. so that's totally right. I've never been long with a women from another social class but I WILL admit that I've had relationships with women from other classes that didn't last long just because of this difference in class. It just didn't work, because of the totally different way of looking at life.
girlcalledjay
I know without a doubt that I married the man I truly love. How??

When I see him (even after five years of togetherness) I still have a squishy feeling in my tummy. Even when we argue and he's truly made me so angry I could slam a door on his head, I want to put my arms around him and say "I love you."

If something good happens I want to tell him first...if something bad happens I want to tell him first.

I absolutely cannot lie to him. I just can't. I might want to...but am physically unable too!!! (it was a strange discovery!!!)

His (very) annoying habits just don't matter.

He holds me in his arms and lets me cry when I need to. He makes me soup when I'm sick. He calls me in the middle of the day because he just wants to tell me he loves me. How could I not love this man!!

We have similar values and goals...and we unconditionally support one another...even if we might think it's stupid!!!

Some people 'settle' for a relationship that doesn't give them everything they think they want...but the truth is, they may not really know what it is they want. I have a friend who wants to marry a rich, handsome, successful man who will give her everything. She is still looking.

I wanted to marry a man who loves me and supports me and wants to build a life with me and not around me.

Lucky me...I have a husband, a lover and a friend...all in 6'9" of yummy!! Laughing
rasinman2000
I belive if we took a true poll we would find out that 75% of the people that got married did not marry their soul mate, they most likley gave up and setteled for what they thought was best, or let their true love slip away and now regreate it and if they could have a do over they would do it different. Life some say isn't fair but others say life is what you put into it, is what you get out of it. So I guess the answer to a lot of divorces is they didnt marry their true love and if they are still married they give up and setteled for what they have, never the less we all have had or maybe will have that speical someone that makes your hart pound when you herre their name or sit next to them and will never stop thinking of them no mater if they get married to someone else or not. my question would be "do we have it in us to hurt the one we are with in order to go for the one we miss or maybe the courage to stand up for our fellings and take that chance to find or true love or our we with our true love but our conchance is to afraid to let them into our harts. The answer is inside all of us we just have to be honest with our selves, as for me, well i'll take the fifth. " If it's not to late in your life Iwould suggest going for it or you will allways regreat it and wounder what if.
earthchild
My husband is truly the love of my life. I have been in love before but not like this. I imagine we'll be like this into old age.

We are perfect for each other and I feel very blessed.
Sabrina
Wow, congratulations earthchild. Very Happy Really happy for you!

As for me, I do like my boyfriend a lot but I think he's too soppy (like a girl!) all he does is talk about love, kids, family and marriage and I'm starting to think he's a bit nuts. I fear commitment so I really don't know how to put it to him that he might have to find himself someone else, someone who appreciates him more than I do.
HoboPelican
16 years and counting! I saw my future wife at my complex one day and knew I had to meet her. Nah, she wasn't a knock out beauty, just something clicked inside of me. I don't know about "soulmate" or "true love", all I know is that, after all this time together, I still get a catch in my chest when I look at her. I haven't felt attraction to another woman, except as a friend (yeah, it's possible) since. And while her annoying habits aren't quite so cute, they aren't that annoying either Laughing

She my sweets and I be one happy Hobo! Cool
earthchild
Sabrina wrote:
Wow, congratulations earthchild. Very Happy Really happy for you!


thank you =) it's sweet of you

best wishes with figuring things out about your sweetie Wink
sharp
hprincivil"]Hi everybody,

I was just wondering. I often hear that people settle for the best secenario when it comes to love. People end up being with someone that's financially stable has oppose to the person they truly love. What's your out take on that people let me hear it!"

How bout all of the above and love... the term financially stable all depends on how you feel , to middle class making about 40-90k per year are stable, as a wealthy man would not feel the same. A good scenario, well if you love someone than any scenario is good then. Its all about love, and you can have many of them aswell through out life... but one day that certain someone walks by, could very well be the one... no one knows ahead of time... trial and error, learn from your mistakes and it only gets better... Trust me on that one
XLax
I met my one true love a year ago and I'm still with her today. I find it great how we can spend all our time together and never be upset or bored, no matter what. Whether it's waiting in line for something or riding on the bus as long as we're together we're happy. Okay at the moment financial stability is really really really bad for us because we aren't making much more than minimum wage but hey: as long as we're together. I plan to marry her soon hopefully.
TheSk8ingFreak
In the first post, did you mean people settle for SECOND best? because I don't think it says that. Non the less here's what I have to say, if anyone really cares. Wink

I really don't think anyone should ever settle for second best, or, possible worse, tell the second best that you love them. Thats just silly! Sure you sould date all kinds of people, its the path to finding what your FIRST best will be, but telling them that you love them is wrong... because if they were to actually, truely, honestly love you back... then you would either feel guilty and end up marrying them (or ruin your life and carrer being with them for a long time) or you'll end up breaking their heart when you breat the relationship. (which is what begins the "friends with privilages" thing which would only get in the way of future relationships, which could possibly be with your FIRST best)

So I really hope you havn't done something that silly, I mean I'm 15 and I've figured that out! (and I don't want any flaming because of my adolecent age, if you flame me you probable have done exactly what I just suggested you shouldn't!) Razz
Citizen Kane
TheSk8ingFreak wrote:

I really don't think anyone should ever settle for second best, or, possible worse, tell the second best that you love them. Thats just silly! Sure you sould date all kinds of people, its the path to finding what your FIRST best will be, but telling them that you love them is wrong... because if they were to actually, truely, honestly love you back... then you would either feel guilty and end up marrying them (or ruin your life and carrer being with them for a long time) or you'll end up breaking their heart when you breat the relationship. (which is what begins the "friends with privilages" thing which would only get in the way of future relationships, which could possibly be with your FIRST best)


Totally right, but people still do this kinda stuff. On a daily basis. I like to refer to the mother of CrimsonStrange, who was married 4 times to people who treated her badly but still stayed. And she's not the only one. I've come across girls myself who'd do this kinda stuff. To me. This is probably why I'm more of the "I'll just wait and see" kind of guy when it comes to dating.

Great you figured it all out. Keep on having these constructive thoughts because they keep your life in a healthy state of mind. But don't be surprised if anyone dumped you because they think there is another person who could be loved on the same scale as they love you AND has a more stable life.

And don't worry about the flaming. everyones opinion counts. So does yours. That you're a little younger doesn't matter.
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