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Just another one of those totally predictable posts :\

To totally understand all that i am about to ask/confirm my fears you need to hear our 'history'.

I'd been in a long, but rather unhappy relationship with a boy that i never thought i could live without. He's still one of my best friends today even though he's pretty much an a***.
I never thought i' find a guy i liked as much.
Only a month later i was invited to a guys party. This guy that invited me pretty much hated me, i dont even know why he invited me. But i went anyway.
The party was going well until it was broken up by the neighbours complaints. there were 7 of us left at the house and we decided to go into town instead. However we only had one 5 seater car. So this meant 2 of us got left back at the house. I, and this incredibly cute guy was nominated to be the ones that stayed behind.
The next day, the guy who had invited me to his party started texting me saying how much he liked me and he was sorry he'd ever misjudged me. I went round to his house, but at the same time i was at his place his friend (the one i got left at home with) was texting me saying the same thing.
Over the next week or so i was torn between these two guys. I ended up starting to date the boy i'd been left at home with. The boy whos party it was resented me and started being nasty. So i said a few things to my new man that i probably shouldnt. Before too long he'd told his mates what i'd said.
Me and the boy lasted the hole of 3 weeks before i broke it off with him.
After we broke up from what i dont even consider a relationship he started making up lies about me and why we broke up. He told me his mother (who i've never met) didnt like my 'bad rep' (that to my knowledge i dont have) which is why he stopped wanting to see me. Then it changed and he just plain didnt like me, he didnt like me because i was shy, the way i dressed etc etc. Some of the things he said got pretty nasty and i got to the point i couldnt stand him. To make matters worse everytime i saw him, which was pretty often unfortunately, he'd make a big exagerated wave and yell 'Hi Hannah!' at the top of his lungs and then start laughing. Which i thought was highly immature, and i was actually embarassed by it.
He then started going out with a girl i wasnt really friends with but i new rather well. before they got together she asked me what i thought of him. I gave her the blunt honest truth, which caused him to rebut, mostly with lies. There was huge friction between them and me and it got pretty ridiculous.
Anyway, she did what we all new she'd do and what we all thought he'd deserve. She cheated on him. She's never stayed faithful to a boy in her life.
He then started hinting he'd like to try something out with my best friend. And well this kinda caused chaos. All my friends practically pinned her down and begged her never to get into a relationship with him because he was such an absolute a***.

Now this comes to the tricky part. The above takes place over a matter of 6-7 months. He's started talking to me again. He texts me every day and sometimes makes not so subtle hints about the kind of relationship he'd like us to have. At first i thought he was trying to befriend me so he could get into my friend, but he's stopped talking to her and only texting me.
He's apologised and is being very understanding about why i dont really want much to do with him.
But he's so incredibly sweet and i feel myself falling for him again.
My rational brain tells me that a leopard never changes his spots, but my irrational brain tells me that if you let some one go and he comes back he's yours for keeps.

I dont want my friend to think i turned her off him because i wanted him. Because really that wasnt how it was.

I also dont want to get hurt and i'm petrified he's playing games with me.

So please. Put me out of my missery and tell me he's horrible, i'm crazy. And any ideas on what you would do would make me feel 90% more secure about the situation.
I don't know, I've been through alot, but none of us can really say that we've been in the exact same position as another... However, I think I can say that I know how it feels to let someone go like that and have them come back. Though he wasn't as mean, and I do feel like something could happen between us, but I don't think it's best to let myself take anything to the next level... As I don't want to be hurt etc etc... I don't know if I'm helping at all, but do you know what I mean? It may be hard, but it may also be best not to be more than friends...
text is making it so much easier to get in touch with people. That is so insane this generation doesnt have to try as hard. haha
Citizen Kane
Reina wrote:

So please. Put me out of my missery and tell me he's horrible, i'm crazy.

He's horrible. You're Crazy.
Just like that.


No really, I MEAN IT!!!

Reina wrote:
And any ideas on what you would do would make me feel 90% more secure about the situation.

I'dd KILL him if I were you. Good riddance. Twisted Evil

No really. Seen from exactly the same situation, I'm in your shoes right now. Because of that I absolutely have NO friggin' clue as to what you could do to make sure you don't get hurt. or hurt your other friend. because from what I understand this "friendship" with the other girl is equally important to you.

the thing I always tend to ask myself is this: is there any chance that I would become happy with somebody else??? someone who didnt hurt me before and who'm I can trust blindly?? the awnser is always YES to me. We have a qoute here where I live:

more girls than churches

Meaning there are more chances of finding someone that is faithfull to you, than finding a church that attracts you.

Another question to Reina: can you live with yourself If you let the guy back into your life and if the same horrible things happen all over again? I know I couldn't! Even if he IS changed, there will always be something between you. You will allways be on your garde, trying to find out if he's not hurting you again. waiting for things to happen (again). because THAT's the kind of relationship you will get eventually. and he WILL notice it. And dump you again just for not trusting him. See the disaster scenario?? here in holland, it's called a repeating or visual circle. A neverending story if you like.

Last thing I'd like to add: If you let him into your life again and he DOES dump you again or hurt you again, What a fool you would look like. not only to your friends, but also to yourself!! (another disaster scenario: you feel really hurt, you get less critical to guys because you just want some love, someone else comes along, comforts you, takes advantage of you and basically things happen all over again). you see? all the more reason to just talk about it, be REASONABLE (the key) to yourself and find the right thing to do.

I hope I REALLY talked you out of it, because if YOU can do it than there's still hope for ME! Wink
If you want to find someone with whom to share life, you have to get over the stage of falling in love (and that can be accomplished early on) and mature to the stage of choosing the person whom you will love.
Citizen Kane
Hee Reina, I solved MY problem! So YOU CAN TOO!!

Yesterday I had a bit of a fight with the ex- ... (whatever you want to call it), the one with whom it didn't work afer all but who still wanted to be friends, very close friends. Or so I thought.

This weekend, we were having a holliday here and we were celebrating Queens-day (in holland, yes!). The night before, she stayed over at my place, we talked about getting together eventually and went to sleep. Not separate, she slept with me. Nothing really happened. (REALLY!)

The other day we went to the place were we met some of our other friends and (to make a long story short), the group of people we were with decided to go home at the end of the evening. My ex-girlfriend decided to stay with another ex-boyfriend of hers (whom she called her buddy, everytime she spoke of him) because she never saw him.

I suspected she wasn't being honest with me so me and my best mate decided it was time for me to ditch her and move on. From what I learned afterwars is that she DID shag the guy, even though she before said she would NEVER do that.

I was ALREADY meeting this other girl, so I decided it had to be done with. I needn't be my ex-s friend anymore, not even a normal "friend". So I called her a slut, threw everything at her I could imagine (I WAS hurt, really, she PROMISSED me we would be getting together, if I believed that she would have cheated on me!) and eventually, we split up and called it quits.

So your remedy: shag another guy to let the first guy know he's NOT welcome. Twisted Evil
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