How to argue online

ml

http://members.aol.com/intwg/flamewars.htm

Might be handy for some.

"I came here for a good argument."
"No you didn't, you came here for an argument."
— Monty Python

If you've spent more than a few days using an online message system (such as message boards or newsgroups), you've probably noticed that arguments sometimes arise even when people are honestly trying to have a fruitful conversation.

mstreet

It's a fun article.

damj

Cool ... I can use those to PROVE I'm right ... Laughing

oh wait!

Is that not what you had in mind.

Unfortunately, most people argue like the Black Knight.

===============================================

ARTHUR:
You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.
[pause] I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
[pause] I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court at Camelot.
[pause] You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
[pause] You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.

BLACK KNIGHT:
None shall pass.

ARTHUR:
What?

BLACK KNIGHT:
None shall pass.

ARTHUR:
I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.

BLACK KNIGHT:
Then you shall die.

ARTHUR:
I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!

BLACK KNIGHT:
I move for no man.

ARTHUR:
So be it!

ARTHUR and BLACK KNIGHT:
Aaah!, hiyaah!, etc.
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]

ARTHUR:
Now stand aside, worthy adversary.

BLACK KNIGHT:
'Tis but a scratch.

ARTHUR:
A scratch? Your arm's off!

BLACK KNIGHT:
No, it isn't.

ARTHUR:
Well, what's that, then?

BLACK KNIGHT:
I've had worse.

ARTHUR:
You liar!

BLACK KNIGHT:
Come on, you pansy!
[clang]
Huyah!
[clang]
Hiyaah!
[clang]
Aaaaaaaah!
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]

ARTHUR:
Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank Thee Lord, that in Thy mer--

BLACK KNIGHT:
Hah!
[kick]
Come on, then.

ARTHUR:
What?

BLACK KNIGHT:
Have at you!
[kick]

ARTHUR:
Eh. You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.

BLACK KNIGHT:
Oh, had enough, eh?

ARTHUR:
Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.

BLACK KNIGHT:
Yes, I have.

ARTHUR:
Look!

BLACK KNIGHT:
Just a flesh wound.
[kick]

ARTHUR:
Look, stop that.

BLACK KNIGHT:
Chicken!
[kick]
Chickennn!

ARTHUR:
Look, I'll have your leg.
[kick]
Right!
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right leg off]

BLACK KNIGHT:
Right. I'll do you for that!

ARTHUR:
You'll what?

BLACK KNIGHT:
Come here!

ARTHUR:
What are you going to do, bleed on me?

BLACK KNIGHT:
I'm invincible!

ARTHUR:
You're a looney.

BLACK KNIGHT:
The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then.
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's last leg off]

BLACK KNIGHT:
Oh? All right, we'll call it a draw.

ARTHUR:
Come, Patsy.

BLACK KNIGHT:
Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!