Should I tell her what I feel?

frozenhead · Last edited by frozenhead on Thu Apr 13, 2006 11:08 am; edited 3 times in total

Uhm.. PLEASE READ IT FIRST before posting your replies.. I really need decent opinions to finally make my decision.

First things first, Im 23, I have no girlfriend for exactly 2 years now. I've seen a lot of good looking girls around, I met girls with nice personality but there's this girl I met from another place far from here and that I can't get rid out of my mind. I stayed there for a month (a work stuff), we hanged out together, talked a lot of so many things, laugh and tease each other. She sometimes cuddle me and so I am with her. We sleep together for several times already (nothing happened, you know what I mean), and she sometimes put her head on my shoulder when she's asleep beside and cuddles me. She holds my hand when we walked and sometimes I kissed her in her hands and forehead (to show my affection). We developed that friendship I expected eversince I first seen and talked to her.

But,

The thing is she have a boyfriend working in another country. There relationship is for almost 4 years now. I drastically realized, I fell in love with her. I don't know what do to with this feelings I have for her. I do respect the relationship. What I can't understand is why she allow me to go near her. I cuddle, kiss her sometimes and hold her hand. Why would she allow that eventhough she knows that I know she have a boyfriend. Sometimes I get jealous when her boyfriend call in her phone (showing her that I'm ok and putting that fake smile.lol).

Now that im back here in my place and left her, we still have that communication. She send me text messages asking how I am now, what I do and she misses me. I came to think maybe she's just seeking attention beause her boyfriend is not around with her and told me she's not sure if where they're relationship will end up. I sense the boyfriend do really love her, the way how he handles the relationship(overseas call, visit her for at least once every after 2 months, and they'll meet again next month).

I'm planning to go back there this weekend to visit her because I do miss her. Should I tell her what I feel? or I not?

Waiting for your comments.

Thanks in advance. Wink

darrenpaul

I do think that she is definitely attracted to you, from her actions Now this could be because she is lonely or because she is not happy with her boy friend.

What i suggest is you do not tell her, the reason is if you are reciprocating her feelings by carrying out similar actions, then I am sure she knows there is sexual attraction between you both, and she knows that you are very interested in her also.

If she is doing this kinda thing then she is obviously not happy with her R'Ship , I suggest you do not say anything to her as this will just compromise her and may not be ready to enter into a R'Ship if she dumps her boyfriend, this is not saying that she is not interested, but she has had a four year R'Ship with this man, and may feel upset.

From what she is doing, I do feel that her R'Ship is on the rocks, and she will break up with him soon.I do think she does want to enter into a R'Ship with you. I suggest you say nothing, she will respect you more for not rushing her but be there for her if they do break up as your R'Ship can only grow and prosper from there.

Well I wish you the best of luck and hopes it works out.

ssbcrew

Darrenpaul made some good points although i see it in a different perspective.

I think you should tell her how you feel as you leave for home after visiting her again. There is distance between you and her and her and the boyfriend. Knowing how both of you feel, on her own, she make the decision without feeling pressured.

Being upfront with your feelings i don't think will be too suprising to her Laughing

imera

You have a difficult problem here. In my mind I hope that the two of you will end up together, you sound like a perfect couple.

Are you really sure that she would dump her boyfriend to be with you instead?? If you decide to tell her what you feel about her do you think she would get frighten or confused about being with you?? I would say that she is flirting, or a kind of flirting with you.

For 3 years ago I become friend with this boy. In the beginning we were just friends and were having a lot of fun together, I was just 15 and did not think that I would end up with him. We had almost the same relationship as you have with that girl. Today I am still together with him, long distance because I had to move so I could still go to school. Whenever I am with him or talk with him I smile, he makes me so happy.

Maybe she thinks of the relationship with you as this one, but she has a boyfriend and I did not so…

The only thing you should be worry about if you tell her about your feelings is not that you would get rejected, but that she would not talk or se you afterwards. I hope that you figure this out, you seem to be a nice guy. Good luck Smile

Garnet

It sounds like you know her pretty well, so you might be able to predict a little how she would take the news. My bet is that she already knows though. You have to be careful when telling a girl you like her since if she doesn't feel the same she might react like a lot of girls do and completly distance herself. That's where my first statement comes in. If it looks like it could actually push a little to decide how she feels, then I think you should tell, her but like ssbcrew said, do when you're about to leave so she doesn't have to react right away (forcing immediate reaction never works out in the guy's favor).

To answer directly I have to say "No, not yet." As girl I can't understand how she wouldn't already know how you feel. That means (to me at least)
that she's probably already giving this a lot of thought, and because she's still text messaging you, she hasn't decided yet.