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to be a Republican...





Soulfire
Though I am conservative (mostly) myself, I found this humorous. Besides, everyone has to laugh at themselves!

Things you have to believe to be a Republican today…

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hilary Clinton.
Saddam was a good guy when Regan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco’s link to caner are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

You support states’ rights, but the Attorney General can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ‘80s is irrelevant.
djthriller
I have to say, that sums up my thought on most right-winged republicans. It is really crazy some of the stuff they say and do. Take an example of crazy republicans: Ann Coulter, Shaun Hanity, Rush Limba, George Bush, Dick Cheney.

Great republicans: Ronald Reagan, Laura Bush, Colin Powell....


Of course I'm a Liberal, but in the mind of most conservatives, I'm a liar cheater, and a fraud. Wink
rightclickscott
I need breakfast. I did get a chuckle or too out of that but it wasn't really that funny. Goddamnit I'm so hungry!
jabapyth
Is this dissing Republicans?
(caus if it is, can i join?)
ocalhoun
jabapyth wrote:
Is this dissing Republicans?
(caus if it is, can i join?)

No, that would be flaming.
Northgatebaseball
I am conservative as well, and did get a little chuckle out of some of those, but not all are exactly accurate. Obviously this isnt a political discussion, so I wont make it that, but some things are wrong statements. Anyways, I know its just for a laugh, so what does it matter! Very Happy
Jeslyn
Laughing
Certainly, very humorous.
caroline
... That was pretty amusing Smile
Despite the fact that I'm like the SECOND Republican to post in this thread.

Are there any Democratic Party jokes that you guys know of?
rightclickscott
I finally got to eat. Waffles kick ass. Like I said before, even though I'm a filthy, baby killing liberal, I still didn't get any laughs from it. Maybe it's just my sense of humor but they really weren't that funny.
Jayfarer
caroline wrote:
... That was pretty amusing Smile
Despite the fact that I'm like the SECOND Republican to post in this thread.

Are there any Democratic Party jokes that you guys know of?


Of course. Though I imagine they're all anti-bleeding-heart type jokes, which don't have the edge that Republican jokes would have.
Insanity
Why does it seem that the majority of the Internet population is Democratic, or just anti-Republican/anti Bush?
Jayfarer
Insanity wrote:
Why does it seem that the majority of the Internet population is Democratic, or just anti-Republican/anti Bush?


Just wherever you hang out on the internet it is.
Jaiye
Insanity wrote:
Why does it seem that the majority of the Internet population is Democratic, or just anti-Republican/anti Bush?


Because it's FOTM to fight the power / authority.
Soulfire
Perhaps I'll come up with a "to be a Democrat..."

It is important to know that not all of these are accurate or true, but it is still funny.
Soulfire
Insanity wrote:
Why does it seem that the majority of the Internet population is Democratic, or just anti-Republican/anti Bush?

Because everyone's doing it... peer pressure... it's the cool thing to do.
tential
Soulfire wrote:
Insanity wrote:
Why does it seem that the majority of the Internet population is Democratic, or just anti-Republican/anti Bush?

Because everyone's doing it... peer pressure... it's the cool thing to do.

I know and I mean its really disturbing. The few republicans at my school are hated and if you have anytype of money people automatically think you are a republican. I mean it is crazy and not all republicans support bush. Not even all bush's supporters really back him except for the fact that they need him to give them tax cuts.
Guess I better park my benz somewhere else for the time being and get myself some beat up honda civic.
{name here}
I don't like Bush. So far all he has done is basically lower America to an even lower low than it was before. His reelection worries me of the intelligence of this country...
Soulfire
{name here} wrote:
I don't like Bush. So far all he has done is basically lower America to an even lower low than it was before. His reelection worries me of the intelligence of this country...

Kerry wouldn't have been any better. He wouldn't of been able to make his mind up on whether or not to go to war, and we'd end up nuked anyways. He originally supported the war, then decided to oppose it.

Gore wouldn't have been much better either.

I guess people are only seeing the surface. The "Oh we're at war, war is bad, that means the president is bad".

But really, if all of your intelligence told you that there were nuclear weapons on Iraq (regardless of whether it's truth or not, this is what everyone is saying), would you have just sat around and waited for them to nuke us?
{name here}
It's not really the wars, those were a good judgement call on his part, but:

    The slow response to Katrina
    The trillions of dollars in debt he drove the U.S.A. into
    The underfunding of troop armor
    The dwindling economy: More countries are now have currencies worth more than the dollar
    Refusing to remove a man who was deemed incompotent by many
    Repeatedly giving people the finger and getting caught on tape
    etc.
xalophus
Soulfire wrote:
Kerry wouldn't have been any better. He wouldn't of been able to make his mind up on whether or not to go to war, and we'd end up nuked anyways.


You'd have ended up nuked anyways - by Iraq ?! Shocked

Are you referring to the same fabricated evidence that Bush's puppet masters used for war-mongering ?

Even they did not pretend to believe in any real threat from Iraq.
But wouldn't they be proud that some people still buy it !

First forge some documents about Iraq purchasing uranium from Niger, then talk about these documents and "mushroom clouds" in your state of the union address, and what do you know - America just re-elected you !

Read Bush's state of the union address.
Cringe with fear as Bush plays up a horrific narrative.
More than half of his address contains reference to Iraq, nukes, WMDs, Saddam and ofcourse 9/11.

Next read this release from CIA.


{name here} wrote:
the wars, those were a good judgement call on his part

What was so good about the "wars" ? His judgement on -
WMDs ?
Nukes ?
Threat from Iraq ?
Intelligence of American people ?

Do you truly believe this war has actually lessened any external threat to America ? Eh?
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