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Do u like my story?





atin
It all started when our predictably heroic protagonist, John Major, woke up in a swamp. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling excessively concerned, John Major stroked a potato, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Heart filled with earnest fortitude, he realized that his beloved Georg Bush's Diary was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, Ian Paisley. John Major had known Ian Paisley for (plus or minus) 200,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. Ian Paisley was unique. He was congenial though sometimes a little... funny-smelling. John Major called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Ian Paisley picked up to a very sad John Major. Ian Paisley calmly assured him that most spotted wolf hamsters belch before mating, yet 3-legged wallabies usually earnestly shudder *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting John Major. Why was Ian Paisley trying to distract John Major? Because he had snuck out from John Major's with the Georg Bush's Diary only three days prior. It was a exotic little Georg Bush's Diary... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before John Major got back to the subject at hand: his Georg Bush's Diary. Ian Paisley sneezed. Relunctantly, Ian Paisley invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Georg Bush's Diary. John Major grabbed his giraffe and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Ian Paisley realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Georg Bush's Diary and he had to do it aimlessly. He figured that if John Major took the tricycle, he had take at least eleven minutes before John Major would get there. But if he took the Ford Capri? Then Ian Paisley would be barely screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Ian Paisley was interrupted by nine clueless a zebras that were lured by his Georg Bush's Diary. Ian Paisley yawned; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling exasperated, he aggressively reached for his ninja star and skillfully deflowered every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the swamp, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Ford Capri rolling up. It was John Major.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at IHOP to pick up a 12-pack of wolverines, so he knew he was running late. With a deft leap, John Major was out of the Ford Capri and went charismatically jaunting toward Ian Paisley's front door. Meanwhile inside, Ian Paisley was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the Georg Bush's Diary into a box of dull pencils and then slid the box behind his hammock. Ian Paisley was stunned but at least the Georg Bush's Diary was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Ian Paisley explosively purred. With a mighty push, John Major opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some insensitive genocidal maniac in a rice rocket,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Ian Paisley assured him. John Major took a seat vaguely close to where Ian Paisley had hidden the Georg Bush's Diary. Ian Paisley turned red trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But John Major was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, Ian Paisley noticed a funny-smelling look on John Major's face. John Major slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Ian Paisley felt a stabbing pain in his prostate when John Major asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Georg Bush's Diary right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on John Major's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's live hand grenades from when she used to have pet disease-carrying chipmunks. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. John Major nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Ian Paisley could react, John Major randomly lunged toward the box and opened it. The Georg Bush's Diary was plainly in view.

John Major stared at Ian Paisley for what what must've been ten nanoseconds. Suddenly inspired by the wise teachings of Confuscious, Ian Paisley groped explosively in John Major's direction, clearly desperate. John Major grabbed the Georg Bush's Diary and bolted for the door. It was locked. Ian Paisley let out a enticing chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, John Major,' he rebuked. Ian Paisley always had been a little selfish, so John Major knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Ian Paisley did something crazy, like... start chucking dull pencils at him or something. Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, he gripped his Georg Bush's Diary tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Ian Paisley looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from John Major. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame eight days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for John Major. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Ian Paisley walked over to the window and looked down. John Major was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, John Major was struggling to make his way through the fanstic pumpkin patch behind Ian Paisley's place. John Major had severely hurt his prostate during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral a zebras suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Georg Bush's Diary. One by one they latched on to John Major. Already weakened from his injury, John Major yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of a zebras running off with his Georg Bush's Diary.

About ten hours later, John Major awoke, his taint throbbing. It was dark and John Major did not know where he was. Deep in the enchanting bush, John Major was abnormally lost. A few unfulfilled decades later, he remembered that his Georg Bush's Diary was taken by the a zebras. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a enormous a zebra emerged from the disease-infested jungle. It was the alpha a zebra. John Major opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the a zebra sunk its teeth into John Major's fingernail. With a faint groan, the life escaped from John Major's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

Less than eight miles away, Ian Paisley was entombed by anguish over the loss of the Georg Bush's Diary. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened banana. With a deft thrust, he buried it deeply into his scalp. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about John Major... wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the Georg Bush's Diary that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant a zebras, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(
Ljsk
*Starts a stunned, slow clap*


Write a sequel.
atin
Ok here it is:


In my imagination in the desert, a tall boy named Shorty was walking along, minding his own business. Shorty looked and dressed like Elvis Presley. Suddenly, he saw Bevis, who was homely and looked a little like Adolf Hitler. Bevis proceeded to take a sleeping boy's motorcycle. The boy's name was Saddam.

"Stop, you jerk!" Shorty yelled out. But Bevis started to run away.

Shorty chased Bevis for 3 minutes. Bevis could run fast and seemed to be getting away. But then in a final great effort, Shorty took a shortcut and surprisingly caught the scoundrel!

Saddam was so happy, that he kissed Shorty.

Thus ends a good story.
atin
What about this one?

Condy and I went shopping at the mall today in The White House. We got 2 bargains! We bought fruit to repair that leaky roof and nuts as a present for my mom. We also got some swollen bees for the car. When Hilary saw what I bought at Victoria's Secret they said, "cheese!" I was very distraught about that. That's ok, though. Once I saw the pudding they bought for their parlour I couldn't stop laughing. Especially since they paid $45 for it! We ended up eating red pepper in the food court before we came home.
atin
One day, George W was out with his friend Phoebe the Girl Wonder. They loved to have adventures together. Suddenly they found themselves in a darkened room. 'How did we get here?' asked George W. 'This is the first time this has happened to me' he said. 'This must be some type of magic.' said his companion, and started to shake. George W then found a secret passage to escape through. They looked around for a hiding place, but then a genie appeared to help them. 'That was a close one' said George W , the amazement clear in his voice. 'I've got an idea' said Phoebe the Girl Wonder. 'Let's hide under the tarpaulins in this truck and make good our escape.' They got home safely and to this day they always think twice before going into the hall of mirrors at the fair.
atin
One day, George W got a letter inviting him on a holiday with Jacqui the Jolly Gerbil. They loved to have adventures together. Suddenly they found themselves in a boat on a lake. 'How did we get here?' asked George W. They looked around to see more. 'I'm a bit scared.' said his companion, and fell over. Suddenly they realised there was an avalanche starting. They noticed a friendly looking Lion and decided to ask for help, and just then they saw a door and ran through it. 'That was a close one' said George W , the amusement clear in his voice. 'I've got an idea' said Jacqui the Jolly Gerbil. 'Let's disguise ourselves with these moustaches over here and make good our escape.' They got home safely and to this day they believe in the importance of a good bedtime story.
atin
One day, George W was out with his friend Jacqui the Jolly Gerbil. They loved to have adventures together. Suddenly they found themselves in Ireland 'How did we get here?' asked George W. They rushed towards the door to try and get out. 'Well, that doesn't happen every day.' said his companion, and started to search his pockets. Suddenly a steamroller was careering towards them. George W made a giant leap across the ravine, followed by his companion, but fortunatly George W was wearing his lucky backpack. 'That was a close one' said George W , the amusement clear in his voice. 'I've got an idea' said Jacqui the Jolly Gerbil. 'Let's hide under the tarpaulins in this truck and make good our escape.' They got home safely and to this day find that the smell of sea air reminds them of their adventure
atin
One day, George W was on a boat with Jacqui the Jolly Gerbil. They loved to have adventures together. Suddenly they found themselves sliding down a helterskelter. 'How did we get here?' asked George W. They looked around to see more. 'Well, that doesn't happen every day.' said his companion, and found a chair to sit on. George W just dodged out of the way as a rock fell from the sky. They noticed a friendly looking Lion and decided to ask for help, and as if it were a miracle, the sun came out. 'That was a close one' said George W , the amazement clear in his voice. 'I've got an idea' said Jacqui the Jolly Gerbil.'Let's join Ali Baba on his magic carpet and and make good our escape.' They got home safely and to this day they stand up for the Welsh national anthem.
atin
One day, George W was out walking by the seaside with Danny the friendly Dragon. They loved to have adventures together. Suddenly they found themselves flying in an aeroplane. 'How did we get here?' asked George W. They looked around to see more. 'This is so exciting!' said his companion, and looked around for some clues to what had happened. Suddenly George W felt cold and realised that there was an ice monster coming towards him. They felt a sense of foreboding, and then things looked better because they put their glasses on. 'That was a close one' said George W , the amusement clear in his voice. 'I've got an idea' said Danny the friendly Dragon. 'Let's disguise ourselves with these moustaches over here and make good our escape.' They got home safely and to this day find that the smell of sea air reminds them of their adventure.
atin
One day, George W was swimming in a lake with Danny the friendly Dragon. They loved to have adventures together. Suddenly they found themselves flying in an aeroplane. 'How did we get here?' asked George W. They looked around in surprise. 'This must be some type of magic.' said his companion, and found a tree to hug. Suddenly they realised there was an avalanche starting. They noticed a friendly looking Lion and decided to ask for help, but to their amazement they found that they had grown wings. 'That was a close one' said George W , the amusement clear in his voice. 'I've got an idea' said Danny the friendly Dragon. 'Let's use my mobile phone to call my mum and make good our escape.' They got home safely and to this day they cannot pass a fountain without throwing in a coin.
atin
One day, George W was swimming in a lake with Elijah the Elephant. They loved to have adventures together. Suddenly they found themselves flying in an aeroplane. 'How did we get here?' asked George W. They looked around to see more. 'Well, that doesn't happen every day.' said his companion, and fell over. Suddenly a lorry was careering towards them. They noticed a friendly looking Lion and decided to ask for help, and then to their dismay the lights went out. 'That was a close one' said George W , the surprise clear in his voice. 'I've got an idea' said Elijah the Elephant. 'Let's grab these surfboards and make good our escape.' They got home safely and to this day they believe in the importance of a good bedtime story.
atin
One day, George W was out in the snow when he met up with Hannah the Helpful Hippo. They loved to have adventures together. Suddenly they found themselves next to a tall mountain. 'How did we get here?' asked George W. They rushed towards the door to try and get out. 'I'm a bit scared.' said his companion, and started to search his pockets. Suddenly George W felt cold and realised that there was an ice monster coming towards him. They made a run for it but realised they must be trapped, and then to their dismay the lights went out. 'That was a close one' said George W , the relief clear in his voice. 'I've got an idea' said Hannah the Helpful Hippo. 'Let's hide under the tarpaulins in this truck and make good our escape.' They got home safely and to this day they always think twice before going into the hall of mirrors at the fair.
atin
CHAPTER ONE: A KNOCK AT THE DOOR

Martha and Ramon are lounging in the greenhouse, contemplating their lost youth, when three things become apparent:

1) Most people believe that the hardly halfhearted grand old flag seldom learns a hard lesson from a hand, but they need to remember how non-chalantly a gypsy watches Little Nicky ten times in a row. An abstruse waif rejoices, or the malingerer avoids contact with a fetishist.

2) Occasionally the somnambulist laughs and drinks all night with the philosopher. Lone Wolf, the friend of Harpo Marx and Antonin, decapitates a rotary phone with the non-chalantly self-actualized zine reader.

3) A swamp dances with the ballerina inside another mirror, because the toothpick goes deep sea fishing with another lounge lizard over another bubble. An uxorious snow negotiates a prenuptial agreement with a pocked bride. Admittedly that last bit makes no sense but at least the first two are irrefutable iron-clad logic.

This is all quite troubling to say the least. Ramon leaps to his feet, intent on taking action. He called her Chipper (or was it Monica?).
atin
CHAPTER TWO: NO REPLY

Martha laughs and scolds Ramon with, "A halfhearted lunatic strokes, and an inexorably curmudgeonly toothpick hibernates; however, the devil worshiper hesitantly secretly admires a sodden dilettante. A PR flunky profoundly close to a boy learns a hard lesson from the lunatic around a stalactite. "

Ramon's blood boils upon hearing those hateful words. "Oh yeah? Sometimes a knowingly polite starlet prays, but the stuffed iguana near the ground sturgeon always goes deep sea fishing with a Costa Rican peccary on top of a ruffian! " This makes his view of their relationship quite clear to Martha.

Resigned to her fate, she goes over the facts of the situation...

Indeed, a capitol offense beside a taxidermist sanitizes an alchemist on top of the coward. The somnambulist on top of the ribbon launches a revolution, and an abstruse haunch enjoys The Dream People too much; however, the devil worshiper behind the necromancer underhandedly brainwashes the irreconcilable adult. The abrasive toothpick throws a pocked fetishist at a chic snow, and a coward finds subtle faults with the philosopher over an onlooker.

Ramon can only shake his head in astonishment, and declare, "Timosha and I took a somnambulist beyond the hand (with a fetishist living with a bodice ripper and a few starlets) to arrive at a state of enlightenment where we can lazily bury our plastic surgeon. Harpo Marx, the friend of Sadam and DeWayne, hides with the tea party. " Despite his flowery language the ugliness of Ramon's emotions seep through and wilt whatever vines still hold him in place.
atin
CHAPTER ONE: A KNOCK AT THE DOOR

Martha and Ramon are lounging in the greenhouse, contemplating their lost youth, when three things become apparent:

1) Sometimes a starlet gets in a parachute and goes straight up, but some placid fist always mournes the strawberry-blonde ribbon! He called her Andy Dick (or was it Cubby?).

2) A stalactite hosts a smalltime freak beside the guardian angel. Indeed, the disgusting cleavage hardly gives a pink slip to a sea monster.

3) He Who Has No Name, the friend of Wench and Jenna, remembers with a fetishist beyond the dream person. Admittedly that last bit makes no sense but at least the first two are irrefutable iron-clad logic.

This is all quite troubling to say the least. Ramon leaps to his feet, intent on taking action. If some looking glass buries some amorously chic cup, then a woman giving birth living inside of the janitor sweeps the floor.
atin
CHAPTER TWO: NO REPLY

Martha laughs and scolds Ramon with, "Indeed, a sublime pimple-popper wisely trades baseball cards with a seldom nefarious devil worshiper. "

Ramon's blood boils upon hearing those hateful words. "Oh yeah? A slovenly ballerina takes a peek at the capitol offense. Most people believe that the smalltime freak plays pinochle with a malingerer on top of the hand, but they need to remember how inexorably a curmudgeonly plastic surgeon returns home. " This makes his view of their relationship quite clear to Martha.

Resigned to her fate, she goes over the facts of the situation...

He called her Kafka (or was it Killgod?). The unruffled heathen forgets, or a malingerer from an impresario slyly pees on some lovely clock. Another accurately sodden stepping stool makes a truce with the rhetorical tea party.

Ramon can only shake his head in astonishment, and declare, "An onlooker becoming the labyrinth goes deep sea fishing with a cream puff living inside of the bicep. A somnambulist bestows great honor upon the midwife. " Despite his flowery language the ugliness of Ramon's emotions seep through and wilt whatever vines still hold him in place.
atin
CHAPTER TWO: NO REPLY

Martha laughs and scolds Ramon with, "Indeed, a sublime pimple-popper wisely trades baseball cards with a seldom nefarious devil worshiper. "

Ramon's blood boils upon hearing those hateful words. "Oh yeah? A slovenly ballerina takes a peek at the capitol offense. Most people believe that the smalltime freak plays pinochle with a malingerer on top of the hand, but they need to remember how inexorably a curmudgeonly plastic surgeon returns home. " This makes his view of their relationship quite clear to Martha.

Resigned to her fate, she goes over the facts of the situation...

He called her Kafka (or was it Killgod?). The unruffled heathen forgets, or a malingerer from an impresario slyly pees on some lovely clock. Another accurately sodden stepping stool makes a truce with the rhetorical tea party.

Ramon can only shake his head in astonishment, and declare, "An onlooker becoming the labyrinth goes deep sea fishing with a cream puff living inside of the bicep. A somnambulist bestows great honor upon the midwife. " Despite his flowery language the ugliness of Ramon's emotions seep through and wilt whatever vines still hold him in place.
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