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friendshp between men and women





elincinerador
do you believe that it exists the friendship between men and women? or sexual interests and atractions are above, so frienship is not possible?

i personaly say that friendship betwen men and women exists but it is not at all as friendship between two people of the same sex, we are talking about a complete different way of friendship.
grifnas
elincinerador wrote:
do you believe that it exists the friendship between men and women? or sexual interests and atractions are above, so frienship is not possible?

i personaly say that friendship betwen men and women exists but it is not at all as friendship between two people of the same sex, we are talking about a complete different way of friendship.

Yes, I believe that the friendship between men and women is sometimes possible... and the sexual interests and atractions are not very important... allways... but..
Assiez
friendships between people of the same gender (I'm assuming heterosexuality for this post) is of course different from friendships between a female and a male. There's a common bond between people of the same gender, and in a friendship across genders, there's always the possibility or feeling of sexual interest. Besides as a guy, I act different around my male friends than with my female friends. For example, I won't be like, "yo bud, wanna get some tacos and watch the game while sitting on the couch like bums, then go dig a hole to prove the power of our masculinity" to my female friends.
Arnie
Lol indeed, instead I'd suggest them to go dig a hole to prove their feminity Very Happy
Soulfire
Well, yes, friendship exists. I have many friends of the opposite sex, but feel no sexual tension or anything. I do agree, it is not the same as my guy friends, but it is friendship nontheless.
stormybaka
Friendship between any gender in my opinion varies a great deal based on personality, attraction and commonalities. One friend you can party with and another you'd rather just chill with. One can have sexual or flirtatious intentions and another nothing. I am attracted to women and men and tend to be very casual about relationships, sex and not into monogamy at all. So to me there is not an issue. I'd rather just chill and not think about it. Let things just happen and not read or think much into what, when and how!
lib
This is a bizarre question, and already one poster seems to have confused friendship with sex or sexuality.

It naturally does depend on your personality whether you are able to make any friends at all, and if you are, there should be little to no difference between being friends with someone of the same sex or someone of the opposite sex. (Don't take this completely objectively, though... for instance, you cannot slap your female friend on the chest while saying "Yo dog! How you doin?" without expecting a slap in the face or a kick in the...)
Garnet
My sister's last boyfriend was careful to let her know that "no guy just wants to be friends, we have other guys for that." It was kinda mean sounding, and I suspect there were some motives behind the statement, but I've found this to be true.

I can imagine that it is possible to have friendships between men and women, but I have never seen any evidence of it without a) the guy or girl being a homosexual b) they've slept together before and decided they weren't compatible that way or c) one of them is already taken (but sometimes that doesn't mean much). Basically there has to be something stopping the romantic interest first.
lib
@Garnet, where you live, either people are hornier than normal, or you have just been too unfortunate to witness platonic friendship.

I am a heterosexual male, and I have had better female friends than male friends, and neither have they been sexually attracted to me nor have I been sexually attracted to them (save for a couple of cases, perhaps). This I tell you by personal experience.
Shike
Garnet wrote:
My sister's last boyfriend was careful to let her know that "no guy just wants to be friends, we have other guys for that." It was kinda mean sounding, and I suspect there were some motives behind the statement, but I've found this to be true.

I can imagine that it is possible to have friendships between men and women, but I have never seen any evidence of it without a) the guy or girl being a homosexual b) they've slept together before and decided they weren't compatible that way or c) one of them is already taken (but sometimes that doesn't mean much). Basically there has to be something stopping the romantic interest first.


I would have to say that you have had a run of extrememly bad luck. I am bisexual, so there is ALWAYS the risk of attraction with ALL of my friends. I have had attractions to some of my, well homophobic, friends, and had attractions to some of my female friends. This in no way has altered my friendships with them though.

I guess what i'm saying that romantic interest is always present in any relationship, it just depend on how the feelings manifest.
chintanpatani
There has been various cases where friendship has broken between bast of pals for the reason that they both loved the same girl...

So, I personaaly feel that the friendship shud be one thig that shud be treated high with all due respects..ans love life shud not be mixed with it...

But sometimes, the situations are really really tricky..and u gotta choode one...thats where the problem starts..

-Chintan
veroniap
Of course there can exist friendship between a man and a woman, as it can exist between all human beings. There might be a sexual interest, but I think solid friendship needs more than that.
opsdaddy
I agree with most of you that, without question, friendship can exist between men and women. Since many of us (not all) are genetically programmed to be sexual with the opposite sex, it comes down to issues of respect, and having those primal urges in check, which determine whether one can have a Platonic relationship with another person.

In college, I had a few friends who were in one turbulent relationship after another, and I think I could safely say that it came down to one thing: They could never respect their girlfriends enough to explore/fulfill other dimensions of them, besides the sexual one. Not surprisingly, usually their relationships ended due to some kind of infidelity on their part.

Not exactly a meaningful way to live, seems to me...
simpleHalakhah
elincinerador wrote:
do you believe that it exists the friendship between men and women? or sexual interests and atractions are above, so frienship is not possible?

i personaly say that friendship betwen men and women exists but it is not at all as friendship between two people of the same sex, we are talking about a complete different way of friendship.


Is the question simply "whether it exists"? If so the responses have shown that the answer is "yes", even if there is also sexual interest. I suspect that your question wasn't fully flushed out.
grifnas
veroniap wrote:
Of course there can exist friendship between a man and a woman, as it can exist between all human beings. There might be a sexual interest, but I think solid friendship needs more than that.

Yes, I agree that for a solid friendship need more than that... than a sexual interest.. I think this too...
Scorpio
Men have enough men for being friends with..

They dont excessively look for being friends with women..

Obviously there is a sexual interest in it

Why should a man seek a woman for FRIENDSHIP for the sake of it.. instead of the other men friends he has(not homosexual)
livilou
scorpio wrote:
Men have enough men for being friends with..

They dont excessively look for being friends with women..

Obviously there is a sexual interest in it

Why should a man seek a woman for FRIENDSHIP for the sake of it.. instead of the other men friends he has(not homosexual)


Why should he not? Friends are a treasure, wheither male or female. I have friends of both genders without having any sexual feelings in the mix at all, as far as I know on either side. I may not look for people to be friends with, but I usually seem to find one or two anyway.

Some friendships are deeper than others, usually because we've been friends longer, or through hard times together, or something like that.

With my male friends, I've found that without the sexual tension, we can usually ask for advice on anything and get a different perspective on a situation. Men and women look at things differently and by having friends of the opposite gender, I've found that I can find an answer to a problem that I might not have thought of.
David_Pardy
My closest friends have always been females, I'm not gay or bi and never have or will experiment in such an area. I have had a romantic interest in a couple of them (one of them went somewhere for a whole two weeks), but that does not mean it's impossible to have a completely platonic friendship with someone of the opposite sex.

By nature we tend to look at other people like Could you be a potential life partner for me? So it is completely normal to experience romantic feelings or a sexual attraction when you have friendships with members of the opposite sex.

The problem is that most guys don't think much further than "She's pretty, I have a penis, we're good friends" and they interpret that to mean things could go further. I speak from experience and I have had difficulties in two particular friendships because of it. At one point I knew I shouldn't be liking this one particular girl but I felt like I couldn't do anything about it.

Anyway, platonic friendships with members of the opposite sex are completely possible. Anyone who cannot see that has too much of a sexual focus - so grow up, learn some respect, and start looking at women as PEOPLE, not sex objects.
pexivee
Why is it important to be "just" friends? I think a real friendship can bear some sexual attraction and even flirting as long as it is clear that it stays that way. Some people I have been initially very attracted to have later become very good friends. I have even overcome my attraction...

What is rare, is a consumated sexual relationship turning into friendship.
grifnas
pexivee wrote:
What is rare, is a consumated sexual relationship turning into friendship.

Yes, I think too that this is very rare...
A consumated sexual relationship turning into friendship is, indeed, very rare...
Trapper
Yes, I believe it can happen. Granted I found it easier when they wasn't a physical attraction, but in cases where there was, if the feeling wasn't mutual we were able to remain friends.

I have to admit it wasn't as close after that, but we were still friends none-the-less.

It seems even more difficult after you are married, and I have no desire to have female friends since I've been married. I haven't tried nor have I tried to alienate any of them. It just seemed to happen naturally. The same goes for my wife. She had more guy friends before, but after marriage, just a few acquaintances.

Deep down it probably has something to do with knowing there is no chance of anything in the future, particularly if you have morals.
pexivee
I consider my wife-to-be a very good friend - probably my best friend. A true partner, which I hoped would be possible to find, but I had given up hope finding... Morals are after all, in my opinion, commitment to things in life you believe to be good for you and other people.

As a wise man said, it is easy to live one day well - to live your life well, that΄s a tough call.
xeroed
sorry I'm going to admit right now I didn't read through this whole post, though I did do a search and didn't find anything... but If you guys have seen when harry met sally they make the assumption that men and woman cannot be friends without some aspect of Sex involved... Now as far as I'm concered I don't think that is entirely true, but for the most part it is how it works... I have alot of friends that are girls, but the only ones I try to hang out with are usually the ones I am trying to "get with" *shrug* Thats not even true all the time... I can hang out with a girl and not have any evil intentions, but I mean I know in the back of my mind somewhere my labido is screaming ^_^
the_mariska
Well, I've been growing up with guys since ever (I have four brothers, the brothers have male friends, etc.) so when I was a child I had a much better contact with guys than girls. There was a time that I advised some guys how to solve their problems with their relationships, as I knew well the girl's mind (However, this sometimes ended up that one of them fell in love with me Razz)

Now I get on with guys and girls as well, and I have 2 male friends that are very special for me (well, my boyfriend is exceptional, too but in a different way Very Happy). There is nothing sexual between us, I am a good friend of their girlfriends, too, and we know that it would never turn into any other kind of relationship. I know that when I'm angry with my bf, they can explain me why does he behave that way, etc, etc. That's really helpful Wink
Tex_Arcana
grifnas wrote:
pexivee wrote:
What is rare, is a consumated sexual relationship turning into friendship.

Yes, I think too that this is very rare...
A consumated sexual relationship turning into friendship is, indeed, very rare...


I would really hope not. After all I concider my wife to be my best friend. That's one of the reasons I think we are not in danger of getting a divorce. Maybe if more people were best friends with their spouses the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.

As for platonic friendships between men and women....sorry to say it to you guys that can't relate to women on any basis other then sex but you guys got a problem. I've had a lot of really good guy friends, but most of my best friends were women and not on the groin level either. All it really takes is realizing that women are people too.
DominickC
It may depend on the people involved. Personally, I have friends of both genders and there's no difference at all, even if they are of a different gender and very close.

Quote:
Men have enough men for being friends with..

They dont excessively look for being friends with women..

Obviously there is a sexual interest in it

Why should a man seek a woman for FRIENDSHIP for the sake of it.. instead of the other men friends he has(not homosexual)


If I always sought for my friends, maybe that logic would apply to me. However, I don't exactly look for friends. Whoever talks to me a lot, who I can relate with well and laugh with becomes a friend.

I also think that true friendship can occur with a sexual attraction, and in good marriages friendship usually does develop between the couple. All that's only my guess though, since I'm not married. Neutral
tidruG
scorpio wrote:
Men have enough men for being friends with..

They dont excessively look for being friends with women..

Obviously there is a sexual interest in it

Why should a man seek a woman for FRIENDSHIP for the sake of it.. instead of the other men friends he has(not homosexual)
I disagree with you completely. I've had many great friends, and most of them were girls. Only 2-3 of them have ever been attracted to me in a non-platonic way.

Men can have other men to befriend, but there are certain issues that women understand better than men, just as there are certain issues that men understand better than women. To get the best of both worlds, you're luckier if you have good friends of both the same sex as well as of the opposite sex.

Quote:
start looking at women as PEOPLE, not sex objects.
Loads of women "use and throw" men too, you know. The blame for lack of trust in a platonic friendship between men and women is not entirely because of men, but also because of women. Hate to say it, but in both cases that I've mentioned above, my friends (the girls) were attracted to me and not vice-versa... though in both cases, the situation was well-handled, and now both of them have their own boyfriends, and we still continue to remain very very good friends.

I honestly think that men and women who aren't able to relate to each other and be friends on a platonic level are lacking something.
7Pound7
It is known by psychologists that there exist no friendship between opposite sexes without mutual sexual interest.
It might not show, but behind the scenes it plays a role.
In other words it's the 'chemistry' we feel when dealing with someone from the opposite sex...

7Pound7
snjripp
Who were the psychologists that studied this and where were they from?


In addition, I think when harry met sally was a great movie.


Is this really a philosophical question? Is it heavily dependent on culture whether or not friendship is acceptable? And if acceptable, possible? I have never been one to spend a great deal of time in ender studies, but I think it is a worthwile area of interest and should be studied more deeply...
S3nd K3ys
Soulfire wrote:
Well, yes, friendship exists. I have many friends of the opposite sex, but feel no sexual tension or anything. I do agree, it is not the same as my guy friends, but it is friendship nontheless.


Feeling sexual tension is one thing. But I would venture to say that a man isntantly thinks about, and usually decides, if they would do a woman, regardless of who they are. (Given the opportunity, of course Wink ).
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