Opposed compatibility

Alessa

A famous proverb (I'm a french speaking girl, I do not know the equivalent in English...) says that people are often attracted to a person who has just the opposite personality.

For instance, I am a relatively shy girl. I am not the kind of person who speaks all the time, is very extroverted, and all that stuff. But I obviously cannot help falling in love with extroverted guys, very self-confident people.
I personnaly could not stand having a shy boyfriend, even if it may seems a bit weird.

Is it also the case for everybody in general? Do you experience that kind of relationship? Is your girlfriend / boyfriend the same as you, or, on the contrary, the very opposite?

Gieter

I've read somewhere that this proverb isn't true, because if you're really opposed to each other, your relation is doomed to fail.

Your example isn't fully representative for the situation you're trying to describe (I don't think any situation is fully representative in this case.) You may be relatively shy, but once you know that guy you're not shy anymore to him.

Putting a convinced meat-eater and a convinced vegetarian together may give some problems. Also putting lousy and ambitious persons together may frustrate each other.

It all depends on in which cases you differ from your partner, and in what extent.

I personally don't differ that much from my partner, and everything is still going well. Smile

Kaneda

We have a similar proverb, but as Gieter said, it's only true to some extent.

I'm rather extroverted, both in action and speech - doesn't mean there aren't times I prefer to be alone, but I'm very much a fun- and thrillseeker. My girlfriend is not shy - far from it - but she probably thinks a bit more than I do before speaking or doing something.

Shy girls may attract me, but I tend to get bored with them rather fast. But too outgoing (which sadly too often goes hand in hand with superficial), and they'll annoy me before I even get to know them... So in that way, I guess I'm much more attracted to my opposite.

But the perfect match for maintaining a relationship for me, seems to be a girl who'll speak her mind, likes to be with other people, and loves to try new things - and has the maturity and common sense to keep my bad ideas and wild stunts in check Wink

Different interests, different tastes etc. seems to me to work great, however, as long as you're open to your partner. You'll evolve as a person, and your relationship tends to keep feeling "new". Where I think you have to somewhat align is in your fundamental valuesets - or you'll end up with conflict every other minute.

Doesn't mean you have to agree all the time. If someone tells me he never has fights with his girlfriend, that's when I'll get worried for their relationship. Smile

Garnet

I think the "opposits attract" works best when you've been with the same type of person for a long time. Like if you're a person who likes to stay at home and hang out, and get a b/g friend who does too, then after awhile someone who likes to get out there might look refreshing and attractive.

Or when you're dead sure of what sort of person you'd be best with but then you meet someone totally not what you were expecting. Otherwise I'm thinking extreme differences might actually make things harder ex: the girl likes to spend money on eating out or the movies, but the guy would rather rent and stay home to eat...different ideas of what money should be spent on can make things stressful.

simpleHalakhah

pollux1er

My point of view is the following. No matter the personnality of each person. It depends on the way one person sees the other. The one can be shy but seems not for the other. Or the one can be shy of nature but is not shy in front of that person he loves. It's my case. I'm naturally shy but in front of her, it's not the case, and it's the girl i love the most.