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Sex Before Marriage





thpn
Now, in my religion, Catholic, we beleive that sex before marriage is wrong. That God made sex to be for married couples only and that it is sinful to even dwell on sexual thoughts. But, I want to know what you guys think...
Vrythramax
I am also Catholic, but I feel that pre-marital sex is alright as long as both parties are mature enough (and old enough) to handle it. When entering into any relationship I think it's important to learn about your partner, and let's face it sex is a big part of a relationship. If the two people are not sexually compatable then chances are the relationship isn't going to work out. What if you enter into a relationship and find out the other person is a real freak? Better to find out up front before you do get married and your stuck.

Just my opinion.
molif
well for me...

i'm actually against pre-marital sex..

partly because of religion

the main reason is that, sex before marriage is also meaning that no planning.. as in, they had sex, and of coz they wanna get married soon.. wat if halfway, something happens and end up they not getting married..

especially for those who are still young, and they got pregnant.. i don mind if they willing the raise the child, but wat if they scared and turn to abortion as a solution..?

abortion is something i find it totally absurd.. killing a new-born.. innocent life, end just like tt.. in the 1st place, why engage in to sex when they know they cant take the responsibility..?

sex before marriage.. sex can wait.. coz when u got married, sex can be great for the newlyweds.. why rush now..? coz of curiousity.. most probably..
smartbei
As long as precautions are taken I don't see any problem with sex before marriage. Safe sex can be practiced, or not, and by me it is perfectly fine for people to have kids and not get married at all. The marriage certificate is a very intricately expensive document with no actual use or need.
keedap
i am a Hindu
and my religion too says the same stuff as other religion about premarital sex ..
But as far as i think ..
Sex is just another think and there should be any restrictins for that ..
If both the partners are redy why not ..
Go ahead
have a nice time .. Smile
joalke
Is it allowed to have sex before marriage in China?
Pyxel
Personally, I agree with the above statements. If both people are mature enough to handle it and deal with any consequences that may befall them (say something goes wrong, they get caught, the girl gets pregnant, ect ect) then its fine.

My girlfriend and I have been together for three years, and the only reason we are not married is because we both want to finish college first before we truly settle down and start a life together. We know for a fact that we both love each other very much and that we will end up together, so we have no problem with our intimacy issues. We are both mature enough and can handle the resposiblillity, we were just not patient enough to wait to be with each other.

But dont get me wrong. I am totally against casual sex with just anybody. It all depends on the situation. I have only been with one person, my lovely girlfriend, and I plan to keep it that way.
input
I too am a Catholic, albeit not a very good one, I am personally not against intercourse before marriage so long as both members are mature enough and are in a committed and love filled relationships. Im not really in favour of casual sex or one night stands. Making love is a beautiful gift but to do it with someone who you do not love and does not love you is pointless
molif
of coz.. maturity is very important..

if maturity is there, well, why not..

some ppl got different perception about sex.. some takes it seriously and some takes it lighty..

as long planning before sex is there or rather, safe sex.. coz abortion is cruel..
Gieter
input wrote:
I too am a Catholic, albeit not a very good one, I am personally not against intercourse before marriage so long as both members are mature enough and are in a committed and love filled relationships. Im not really in favour of casual sex or one night stands. Making love is a beautiful gift but to do it with someone who you do not love and does not love you is pointless


It's not to me to judge whether you are a good catholic or not, but I think you shouldn't feel bothered by it. The Vatican is old-fashioned, the catholic belief didn't change since somewhere in the third century. That's quite old I think.
arandurah
Well I have been ateist (Not sure if its the rigth word, but i have no religion), and i do not see anything wrong in sex before you marry your beloved one. Sex is a big responsibility and you have to be causius, but I see no point in waiting, when your both ready and have talked about it. The first time is anyway a bit chaotic and why not have some experience when your on the wedding sheet.
anwartheravian
I think that having sex before marriage is not a very good idea.From lady's point of view it is not good at all, because if the man leaves her after sex and do not marry with her then this will be only her who will suffer,secondly no one can tell how loyal the man is no one can the man will go till marriage or he is just running after his lust.
Gieter
anwartheravian wrote:
I think that having sex before marriage is not a very good idea.From lady's point of view it is not good at all, because if the man leaves her after sex and do not marry with her then this will be only her who will suffer,secondly no one can tell how loyal the man is no one can the man will go till marriage or he is just running after his lust.


It's not because you're not married, you don't have to be loyal. And it's not because you're married, that you'll stay loyal. This is probably some cultural difference. In my culture, it's not because you had sex with someone that you have to marry him/her, in the end, it always can happen that it doesn't works anymore between two persons.

I think you should not marry because you had sex with each other, but you should marry because you really love each other and you're willingly to go into marriage (what doesn't means that you don't have to be loyal before your marriage.)
raver
1) Without practicing you would be a very crappy lover.
2)Continuing fact no. 1, if you are a crappy lover you will not satisfy your partner, which is very bad and leads to fact no.3
3)Sex is a very important aspect of a relationship. So if your sex life if bad, be sure, no matter how much you would love each other the relationship will not last. And trust me, i'm talking about real life here, not some teenage dreams. Sexual frustration leads to fights, cheating, and unfortunatly, much worse.
4) Are there still people out there who don't have "pre-marital" (and in my opinion normal) sex? *Raver gasps*.
salvation313
thpn wrote:
Now, in my religion, Catholic, we beleive that sex before marriage is wrong. That God made sex to be for married couples only and that it is sinful to even dwell on sexual thoughts. But, I want to know what you guys think...


perfectly normal, two people having sex , its ok.orthodox church says no but people nowadays dont care that much about religions
input
Surely its time that this issue had nothing to do with religion and instead on peoples own personal beliefs
salvation313
input wrote:
Surely its time that this issue had nothing to do with religion and instead on peoples own personal beliefs


the way i see it its like this with everything..this will always be an issue because people always will believe in a higher power..''messengers of this higher power'' will come and tell us whats right and whats wrong..other people will believe them and execute ''gods will'' to the max others wont.it is after all a world of choices . every man speaks for himself makes his own choices based on his personal beliefs.

but i dont see nothing holly about not having sex and staying ''pure'' until the wedding .Its exactly the opposite,we have suprressed feeligns there which is definetly not better than the other way around.
the way to heavens or hells gates will not be judged by the amount of sexual partners but by whats in our hearts and how it reflects upon our deeds.

IF i am wrong then i am sorry to inform everyone that about 80% of earths populations is going straight to hell.
Its gonna be some what crowed there!!!
avblue
I find virginity to be a very precious thing. I'm not sure if it's because of religion or what, I've just always found it to be a special thing. I even found my first kiss to be a big deal. I just think that virginity is something that you should save for the person you know is the one, not just anyone. Plus, if you're married before you lose your virginity, you don't have to worry about getting into messes that might become difficult such as pregnancy outside of marriage or anything else that might be a risk.
raver
avblue wrote:
Plus, if you're married before you lose your virginity, you don't have to worry about getting into messes that might become difficult such as pregnancy outside of marriage or anything else that might be a risk.


Proper condom use makes pregnancy outside of marriage inexistent, just as Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Cool
It's true that virginity is a precious thing, but only because it has become such a rare item owadays Smile
thpn
avblue wrote:
I find virginity to be a very precious thing. I'm not sure if it's because of religion or what, I've just always found it to be a special thing. I even found my first kiss to be a big deal. I just think that virginity is something that you should save for the person you know is the one, not just anyone. Plus, if you're married before you lose your virginity, you don't have to worry about getting into messes that might become difficult such as pregnancy outside of marriage or anything else that might be a risk.


Thank you! You see, from someone standing outside and looking in this is what you would see. There are things called STDs [Sexually Transmitted Diseases]. A few of them (HIV, Genital Herpies, etc.) can cause to death, lifetime illness, or being unfertile [Never being able to have a child]. Now, if to partners have pre-marital sex then:
    1. You could get an STD which will lead to...
    2. You could form cancer, you could become unfertile (women), you could die, you could have blisters all over you genital area, or you could die (no, i did not put it twice by accident).
    3. You loose you virginity! This is the most special gift to your partner at marriage.
    4. You could become pregnent.


Now, I don't know about all women but I am sure that most do not want to be unfertile for the rest of their life. Also, most people don't want to die early or have the fear of death. Also also, do you want to spread your disease around to toher people and kill everyone because you had a stupid one-night-stand with a guy/girl that left you the next morning broken-hearted? Also (and most importantly), do you want to loose you virginity to someone who does not care about you?

Think of your virginity as a boot. Now, this boot is the wedding present to your spouse for him/her to wear. If you wait until marriage, think of how happy he/she will be to have a nice clean boot anly for her/him. But, if you sleep around for ten years and have all kinds of STDs and abortions or children behind you what will he/she think..."Great gift honey!", yeah right.

Now, a lot of you keep saying that of you don't practice then you will be horrible when you are married and split up...not if he/she loved you! Mabye God (Allah, etc.) wants you to not be great at sex to test your spouse, he has a plan for everything you know. If he does split with you, he never cared about you. If he does love you then it won't matter because you don't have to know positions 1-208 to produce a child, 1 will do just fine. That is what sex is! God's gift of love to be shared between you and your indefinate partner only! So, if you want to die and go to Hell then continue sleeping around but be sure to say Hi to Satan for me! But, if you want eternal life in Heaven with the infallible God, Mary, and Jesus stick with God's plan and he will reward you beyond your imagination.
thpn
raver wrote:
avblue wrote:
Plus, if you're married before you lose your virginity, you don't have to worry about getting into messes that might become difficult such as pregnancy outside of marriage or anything else that might be a risk.


Proper condom use makes pregnancy outside of marriage inexistent, just as Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Cool
It's true that virginity is a precious thing, but only because it has become such a rare item owadays Smile


Are you that stupid?!?! The condum factories and MTV and scientist and some Americans know that...condums are U-S-E-L-E-S-S A-G-A-I-N-S-T S-T-D-S! Also, they have a failure rate of 12%. So...if you want a 12% chance of having a little baby go ahead.
Kaneda
thpn wrote:
Are you that stupid?!?! The condum factories and MTV and scientist and some Americans know that...condums are U-S-E-L-E-S-S A-G-A-I-N-S-T S-T-D-S! Also, they have a failure rate of 12%. So...if you want a 12% chance of having a little baby go ahead.


I'd normally stay out of a discussion like this, but...

I'd like to see you back those claims up with a source... I've never heard of any survey where the failure rate was higher than 3% in consistent use - most often quite a bit lower. And in my 12 years of being sexually active, I haven't had one disease or one pregnancy (and yes, my sperm count is quite alright, thankyouverymuch). The effectiveness against STDs and STIs is also well documented and - to my knowledge - undisputed.

If you're quoting studies quoting "typical use" (where I believe I have seen numbers between 7 and 14%), what "typical use" means is, "sometimes people used condoms, sometimes they didn't, and X percent then got pregnant". Guess whether this pregnancy occured at a time when they used a condom or when they didn't? "Typical use" is, in other words, meaningless in terms of the value of condoms to anyone except people who like to distort statistics. It's the equivalent of saying that safety belts in cars are useless, because a certain amount of people died in car accidents even if they had safety belts in their cars - because they forgot to put them on.

It's one thing to go all missionary (no pun intended) about the evils of premarital sex, birth control, whatever. It's quite another to mislead by numbers which have no basis in reality. Like it or not, people will have sex before marriage. Stuffing these people full of (to be quite honest) BS about wild failure rates and "uselessness", thereby potentially making them not see the point of a very very necessary precaution if they do have sex with different partners - that's just absolutely irresponsible.

So I assume every survey and study made in the last 20 years in every single western country has been manipulated by the condom industry? Except the one you'll now provide, of course.

No personal offense intended, mind, but while the discussion of sex before marriage is purely a matter of personal beliefs, taking proper precautions when engaging in a sexual relationship is a serious matter - whatever your religious beliefs.
thpn
Kaneda wrote:
thpn wrote:
Are you that stupid?!?! The condum factories and MTV and scientist and some Americans know that...condums are U-S-E-L-E-S-S A-G-A-I-N-S-T S-T-D-S! Also, they have a failure rate of 12%. So...if you want a 12% chance of having a little baby go ahead.


I'd normally stay out of a discussion like this, but...

I'd like to see you back those claims up with a source... I've never heard of any survey where the failure rate was higher than 3% in consistent use - most often quite a bit lower. And in my 12 years of being sexually active, I haven't had one disease or one pregnancy (and yes, my sperm count is quite alright, thankyouverymuch). The effectiveness against STDs and STIs is also well documented and - to my knowledge - undisputed.

If you're quoting studies quoting "typical use" (where I believe I have seen numbers between 7 and 14%), what "typical use" means is, "sometimes people used condoms, sometimes they didn't, and X percent then got pregnant". Guess whether this pregnancy occured at a time when they used a condom or when they didn't? "Typical use" is, in other words, meaningless in terms of the value of condoms to anyone except people who like to distort statistics. It's the equivalent of saying that safety belts in cars are useless, because a certain amount of people died in car accidents even if they had safety belts in their cars - because they forgot to put them on.

It's one thing to go all missionary (no pun intended) about the evils of premarital sex, birth control, whatever. It's quite another to mislead by numbers which have no basis in reality. Like it or not, people will have sex before marriage. Stuffing these people full of (to be quite honest) BS about wild failure rates and "uselessness", thereby potentially making them not see the point of a very very necessary precaution if they do have sex with different partners - that's just absolutely irresponsible.

So I assume every survey and study made in the last 20 years in every single western country has been manipulated by the condom industry? Except the one you'll now provide, of course.

No personal offense intended, mind, but while the discussion of sex before marriage is purely a matter of personal beliefs, taking proper precautions when engaging in a sexual relationship is a serious matter - whatever your religious beliefs.


Well, my source was on CNN but it is 12% for non-experienced users (teens) and only 2% for well-experienced users...sry.
Kaneda
thpn wrote:
Well, my source was on CNN but it is 12% for non-experienced users (teens) and only 2% for well-experienced users...sry.


Good then - precise information and I'm happy Wink And sorry for the semi-hostility, but mis- or half information on this matter will get me up in arms. I had a girlfriend once who worked at a teen shelter, and I've talked to young guys who'd gotten their girlfriend pregnant - and when asked if they used any protection, the answer would be exactly that - "no, condoms don't work".

The sad thing is, CNN quoting 12% will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy because of that. If a teen hears that, misinterprets it, and some guy tells him that "it feels much better without and she won't get pregnant if [this or that lame myth]", then his logic will be, "why use it then?"

Lack of information (or often, information from other teens) is dangerous in this case. So to get somewhat back on topic, I think an attitude of "no sex before marriage", which in lots of cases will be broken anyway, will just lead to a kid feeling it's a taboo to discuss sex with anyone. And he'll then have no idea about the risks or the precautions he should take. Shame or embarrassment about sex will never lead to anything good in my opinion.

Whether that kid having sex will then send him straight to hell, I will not discuss, though. The notion of vindictive Gods I'll leave to the religious Wink
raver
thpn wrote:
raver wrote:
avblue wrote:
Plus, if you're married before you lose your virginity, you don't have to worry about getting into messes that might become difficult such as pregnancy outside of marriage or anything else that might be a risk.


Proper condom use makes pregnancy outside of marriage inexistent, just as Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Cool
It's true that virginity is a precious thing, but only because it has become such a rare item owadays Smile


Are you that stupid?!?! The condum factories and MTV and scientist and some Americans know that...condums are U-S-E-L-E-S-S A-G-A-I-N-S-T S-T-D-S! Also, they have a failure rate of 12%. So...if you want a 12% chance of having a little baby go ahead.


And i really would appreciated if you woudn't insult people with things like stupid... i don't believe i ever insulted you or another frihost member, and i've been here for a while, just check my sign-up date Cool
Scorpio
avblue wrote:
I find virginity to be a very precious thing. I'm not sure if it's because of religion or what, I've just always found it to be a special thing. I even found my first kiss to be a big deal. I just think that virginity is something that you should save for the person you know is the one, not just anyone. Plus, if you're married before you lose your virginity, you don't have to worry about getting into messes that might become difficult such as pregnancy outside of marriage or anything else that might be a risk.


You hit the nail right on the head buddy.

It is indeed special. I really don't know what to say. avblue here just expressed my feelings.

raver wrote:
It's true that virginity is a precious thing, but only because it has become such a rare item owadays Smile


A point there, At the rate the sex drive of today's youth is going, finding a virgin would be as easy as finding water in the sahara desert
Gieter
scorpio wrote:
At the rate the sex drive of today's youth is going, finding a virgin would be as easy as finding water in the sahara desert


I don't agree with you, maybe that's true in your country (USA?), but not in every country. I'm not talking about Muslim-fundamentalistic countries or so, just western countries. I know much virgins, but that also may have to do with the level of education. Don't know, but I don't have the impression that finding virgins here is as hard as finding water in the Sahara.
Scorpio
Maybe I'd have to modify my statement there a little bit, but well, for one, you must agree, they are becoming scarce, by the day.

Sex is perceived as an object of fun. The seriousness is not understood my many.

Though Muslim laws forbid anything and everything related to everything, that is not going to stop muslims in non-muslim countries indulging in their pastimes.

We can't certainly do much about the scarcity of virgins, just, maybe, offer quality advice about why not to hurry into sex as if it is the medicine that is going to save you in this world.
Animal
DO NOT CROSS-POST

You made exactly the same topic in the Philosophy and Religion forum.

http://www.frihost.com/forums/vt-31133.html

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