Sex is for married, being together in Holy Matronmony, and no one other.
| Animal wrote: |
Just because people in a discussion you started do not agree with you does not give you the right to close the topic, or more importantly, tell the moderators what to do. I've read through the topic and dealt with any posts I feel are in breach of the rules and have no decency. Other than that, it seems that this is a fair, balanced argument and you have no grounds to demand that it be closed.
Please do not edit your topics and demand they are closed again - if you feel that you have a genuine reason for a topic to be closed or moved, please PM a moderator. Do NOT edit this comment out. |
Last edited by thpn on Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:00 pm; edited 4 times in total Completely agreed.
Should be a poll eh?
Yes,people should cherish there sex right.
Go across the sex limit is not a good thing
I would have to disagree, to a point. I believe that a true emotional connection is a better requirement for sex than marraige. It is in these moments that true life actualy reveals itself.
In my religion, Islam, sex before marriage is strictly prohibited. Even, a man and a woman who hadn't been married, cannot kiss and touch each other (except brother, father, sister, mother, grandmother and grandfather, aunt, uncle, son and daughter). 'cause, this behaviours can cause sexual emotions and than sexual intercourse. For a strong family and community, this prohibition is very important.
| thpn wrote: |
| Now, in my religion, Catholic, we beleive that sex before marriage is wrong. That God made sex to be for married couples only and that it is sinful to even dwell on sexual thoughts. |
I think this is completly Bulls**t, here in Europe you are not forced into marriga like in other countrys (no offence). Like me and my Wife, we are together for many years and have a little daughter, but we never going to get married. I call her my wife bacause she is in my heart and as such also accepted in my and her familily.There is no reasen to getmarried when you really love each other. And in the case you want to split up you do it anyway, if married or not.
Thats my opinion 
| Quote: |
| in Europe you are not forced into marriga like in other countrys |
Thats why we have so many devorces and unhappy families! 
Sex is ment for husband and wife, the main idea why God gave us the sexual feelings etc. is that we would be fruitful and multiply! It's isn't right for people to go and have sex with anyone they want and not before marriage! Sex before marriage usually breaks the love relationship later, because sex before marriage is wrong!!!! 
That's why Islamists, Catholics etc. have better marriages they cherish their most personal thing that is only to be seen in bedrooms after marriage!
I myself am a Chritian, a humble servant of my LORD, and SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST 
There are actually studeis done on male sperm, that show that nature disagrees. There are certain sperm cells that are "worrior" cells designed to fight off the sperm of another man.
Ok, biology aside. I completely disagree with sex before marraige ruins the relationship. My wife and I have been married for a little over three years. We've been together over six, and we had sex within the first week of starting to date.
Sex is an expression of Love. I do agree that frivolous sex is pointless and should be avoided, but, loving sex should be cherished and experienced fully.
| thpn wrote: |
| Now, in my religion, Catholic, we beleive that sex before marriage is wrong. That God made sex to be for married couples only and that it is sinful to even dwell on sexual thoughts. But, I want to know what you guys think... |
Hello,
can you show me, where in the bible this is? I would love to see it.
Greets"You cannot have sex before marriage, but after marriage it is ok"... So you were saying having sex with Ten different women is OK. So you can be unfaithfull to your wife/hus after marriage...
Guys... Having Sex before marriage has nothing wrong in it, if you are going to live yor life with the same person, no matter what happened. Sex is divine and pure.
But having sex before marriage is a big SIN if you are having that just for time pass.
I have to agree with Shike and Diebels on this one. I am european and i am Christian. If there is a god, why would he install this urge to have sex into us if he doesn't want us to follow that instinct until later on in life? So if people are never proposed to, God never want's them to have sex in their entire lifes? That isn't in cosistancy with so called "God's will" where he wishes humans enternal happyness. The bible was written by men after all, it didn't fall on someone's head from the sky.
Eating before marriage isn't a sin. Breathing air before marriag isn't a sin. Sleeping before marriage isn't a sin, why would sex be? It is one of those big needs installed in all humas. Isn't it possible that this is an ancient birth control system, there were no condoms those days and people had to do somthing on order to control how many babies were coming.
Denying yourself of this basic need doesn't lead you to salvation or make god like you more than he already does. But on the other hand, going across the limit is not good but the bible and it command lines are more like guidlines, not the LAW. Some people like an ancient script to be in charge of their lifes, i am not one of them.
| swapnalokam wrote: |
| But having sex before marriage is a big SIN if you are having that just for time pass.[/b] |
Why? Please tell me, why is this? Where do you get this from? Wo is telling you what is "sin" and what is "right"? Who has done the definition?
Greetssex before marriage is absolutely wrong ... therefor it is heavenly to do it (the forbidden fruit and stuff) but but but - after all it is not that big a deal...
I can't see what would be wrong with it if the two people love each other. Divorces don't happen because they had sex before marriage - they divorce often because they didn't know each other well enough (studies have shown that A LOT of women get married for the wedding, not the marriage), financial issues, and just plain changes in behaviour.
Where I live very few people believe in getting married, the idea being that you shouldn't need papers to say " I love you," and that it isn't eternal anyway since if it doesn't work out you can pay a lot of money and get out of it. I don't think waiting to be married would work very well with this mentality.
| swapnalokam wrote: |
"You cannot have sex before marriage, but after marriage it is ok"... So you were saying having sex with Ten different women is OK. So you can be unfaithfull to your wife/hus after marriage...
|
You should really read the Bible (actually a part of it.) One of the ten commandements says that you may not be unfaithful. How about that?
I don't think that sex before marriage is wrong, as long as you love each other and both partners are ready and willingly to do it. Sounds cliché, but that's still the truth I think. 
What do you think about masturbation? Is it wrong!!? 
I disagree with the whole sex before marriage being immoral. As a liberally minded college student, I look at religion as more of a ground work for established morals, used to help mold who we are as people. Instead of saying that religion is the ultimate set of what's right and what's wrong, but more a guide to help you build your own set of beliefs. I have been raised Baptist, but I don't view the Bible as the ultimate source for the word of God either. God gave people free choice for a reason, and that's because, in my opinion, that God took parts of his message and put it into multiple religions. I believe that all religion, just like philosophies, should be used as a way to help you decide how to run your own life through moral or just means.
| Quote: |
| I believe that all religion, just like philosophies, should be used as a way to help you decide how to run your own life through moral or just means. |
That would be very different.
Religions are not the samen, far from that.
Which parts of the religions will you take?
Which are right, which wrong?
It is much more diffecult to say that you can mix all the religions to one then only believe in one.
| Quote: |
What do you think about masturbation? Is it wrong!! |
The Bible (my main source) doesn't say something about mastrubation.
I think you do better to do it not, it will get you closer to sex.
Last edited by wimvpetegem on Fri Mar 24, 2006 9:32 pm; edited 2 times in total | Whong wrote: |
| What do you think about masturbation? Is it wrong!!? |
I don't think it's wrong, it's something natural. If you don't masturbate, you have a higher risk on cancer of the prostate. And some fifty years (or less) ago it was still strictly forbidden, but as much boys as now were doing it I think. | Gieter wrote: |
| Whong wrote: | | What do you think about masturbation? Is it wrong!!? |
I don't think it's wrong, it's something natural. If you don't masturbate, you have a higher risk on cancer of the prostate. And some fifty years (or less) ago it was still strictly forbidden, but as much boys as now were doing it I think. |
Ehm, I think that we talk about two kinds of mastrubation:
-mastrubation for yourself (this is naturally, not wrong i think)
-mastrubation for you partner (this is dangerous, i think) | wimvpetegem wrote: |
| Gieter wrote: | | Whong wrote: | | What do you think about masturbation? Is it wrong!!? |
I don't think it's wrong, it's something natural. If you don't masturbate, you have a higher risk on cancer of the prostate. And some fifty years (or less) ago it was still strictly forbidden, but as much boys as now were doing it I think. |
Ehm, I think that we talk about two kinds of mastrubation:
-mastrubation for yourself (this is naturally, not wrong i think)
-mastrubation for you partner (this is dangerous, i think) |
I think it's the same as sex, isn't it?No offense but - bull****
People should be able to do what they want
| Gieter wrote: |
| wimvpetegem wrote: | | Gieter wrote: | | Whong wrote: | | What do you think about masturbation? Is it wrong!!? |
I don't think it's wrong, it's something natural. If you don't masturbate, you have a higher risk on cancer of the prostate. And some fifty years (or less) ago it was still strictly forbidden, but as much boys as now were doing it I think. |
Ehm, I think that we talk about two kinds of mastrubation:
-mastrubation for yourself (this is naturally, not wrong i think)
-mastrubation for you partner (this is dangerous, i think) |
I think it's the same as sex, isn't it? |
Ehm, no it is not the same as sex.
But what is sex, that question could you ask.
The dutch word for sex is 'seks' and sexual contact could be also kissing or other contact.
Getting a orgasm, is that sex? But that will also happend at mastrubation...
It isn't all so clear... | wimvpetegem wrote: |
| Gieter wrote: | | wimvpetegem wrote: | | Gieter wrote: | | Whong wrote: | | What do you think about masturbation? Is it wrong!!? |
I don't think it's wrong, it's something natural. If you don't masturbate, you have a higher risk on cancer of the prostate. And some fifty years (or less) ago it was still strictly forbidden, but as much boys as now were doing it I think. |
Ehm, I think that we talk about two kinds of mastrubation:
-mastrubation for yourself (this is naturally, not wrong i think)
-mastrubation for you partner (this is dangerous, i think) |
I think it's the same as sex, isn't it? |
Ehm, no it is not the same as sex.
But what is sex, that question could you ask.
The dutch word for sex is 'seks' and sexual contact could be also kissing or other contact.
Getting a orgasm, is that sex? But that will also happend at mastrubation...
It isn't all so clear... |
I think it is sex. What is sex? According to the Van Dale (very popular in Belgium and the Netherlands) sex is: 1 acts and feelings that have to do with physical excitement and making love => sexual intercourse
According to that definition masturbating your partner is sex. What else could it be?
EDIT: this is clearly a misunderstanding. With "it's the same as sex" I meant "it's sex" or "it's a form of sex." I said that, because this thread goes about sex before marriage.As I said: sex can also something more than only a orgasm.
Only kissing could be sex.
| Brakdûr wrote: |
Why? Please tell me, why is this? Where do you get this from? Wo is telling you what is "sin" and what is "right"? Who has done the definition?
|
OK... first to let you know that.. we write our opinions and our way of thinking about right and wrong here right... and I just want to let you know that... I do not think.. Bible is the right book... I belive it was just a code book written only for Jews.. and as I said.. I don't think having sex just for time pass... (I mean having it with somebody other than your life partner... like you just do it.. without love... giving money... or some crap like that).. is right
The only thing I want to say is... If you are having sex with one partner and is going to spend rest of the life with that person.... It is absolutely right... no matter what purpose you do it..
and for your question.... The time pass I meant was ... doing it without Love..
| Josso wrote: |
No offense but - bull****
People should be able to do what they want |
If people should be able to do what they.. want... then why the heck we have.. government, laws, and law enforcements... why do we have.. Moral, Religion, and... if I come to your home.. and kick you out of your house... I think it will be O.K. for you... since you already said... People should be able to do what they want....
Thanks | Brakdûr wrote: |
| thpn wrote: | | Now, in my religion, Catholic, we beleive that sex before marriage is wrong. That God made sex to be for married couples only and that it is sinful to even dwell on sexual thoughts. But, I want to know what you guys think... |
Hello,
can you show me, where in the bible this is? I would love to see it.
Greets |
Well, it says it right here...
| Quote: |
"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."
The dictionary meaning of the word "fornication" means any unlawful sexual intercourse including adultery. In the Bible the Greek definition of the word "fornication" means to commit illicit sexual intercourse. What constitutes unlawful sex? Whose laws do we live by? Worldly standards or laws many times do not always line up with the Word of God. The founding fathers of the United States established many laws that were originally based on Christian standards and the laws of the Bible. However, through time the United States has drifted far from these standards and at the present our moral standards are shocking the world. However, immorality is not only found in the U.S. but is a world-wide epidemic. Societies throughout history and around the globe have embraced sexual standards that are called sins in the Bible.
Fornication is not just tolerated in our society but is actually being encouraged. The sin of fornication is being committed even among Christians, as many couples "live together" and have sex before marriage. The Bible tells us to flee this sin. We have counseled Christians of the opposite sex who share an apartment and they told us they were not having sex so this surely wasn't wrong. The Bible declares these words in 1 Thessalonians 5:22-23:
"Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Our lives as Christians are a living witness to others and we cannot break the laws of God without hindering others from coming to Christ. We must live our lives in purity before a sinful and wicked world. We should not be living according to their standards but according to God's standard in the Bible. No couple should live together outside the bonds of marriage.
Many say they live together before marriage to see if they are compatible as they don't want to divorce. This may sound like a justifiable reason for committing the sin of fornication, but in God's eyes it is still sin. Statistics however, show that those who live together before marriage are more likely to get a divorce than those who do not. Living together shows a total lack of trust in God and a failure to commit to Him the choosing of a mate. Christians who are living in this situation are out of the will of God and need to repent and seek God as to whether this person is the right one for them. If it is God's will for them to be together they should marry. Otherwise, they need to change their living arrangements.
As Christians, the goal of any relationship should be to cause the people in our lives to love and know the Lord better. Living together is shameful and selfish as the parties do not care what others think or how they might affect their families and others. They are living to please their own lust and selfish desires. This type of life style is destructive and especially so for children whose parents are living a bad example before them. No wonder our children are confused about right and wrong when parents degrade the sanctity of marriage by living together out of wedlock. How can living together cause children to love and honor God when their parents break the laws of God before them because they are lustful?
Young people today need to be taught to abstain from sexual intercourse and remain pure virgins before marriage. So many problems in marriages today stem from the fact that they are not virgins when they marry. Young people are bringing wounded emotions and diseased bodies into their marriages because of prior promiscuous affairs. STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) are so widespread that the statistics are shocking. There are 12 million new cases of STDs annually in the United states and 67% of these occur among persons under the age of 25. In fact, every year one out of six teens contracts an STD. 100,000 to 150,000 women become infertile each year as a result of STDs.¹ Others endure years of pain as some of these diseases are incurable. What a tragic price to pay for sexual sins. The Bible is right when it says fornication is a sin against one's own body.
The sin of fornication is not only defined as illicit sexual intercourse between those who are not married but also is an umbrella for other sexual sins as well. The Bible also speaks of the sin of incest as fornication in 1 Corinthians 5:1:
"It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife."
The Bible also lists ****** as fornicators in Revelation 21:8:
But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and ******, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
All prostitutes and pimps are fornicators. Couples who just "live together" according to the Bible, are committing the same sin that ****** commit. Singles who "make love" fall into the same category. Just because society has accepted this type of living does not make it right. The Bible must be our standard of what is right and wrong. We must change our standards if we do not want the wrath of God to fall on us. God hates sin but He loves the sinner. If anyone repents and calls on Jesus today He will help them to come out of any illicit relationship and heal them of all past hurts and even heal any disease that they may have contracted.
God gave us the laws in the Bible for our good. They are not meant to deny us any good thing but they are given so we can enjoy the proper sexual relationship in the proper time. If we obey the words of the Bible and "flee fornication" and glorify God in our bodies, the Lord will bless us beyond what we could believe.
Psalm 145:17-21: "The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works. The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them. The LORD preserveth all them that love him: but all the wicked will he destroy. My mouth shall speak the praise of the LORD: and let all flesh bless his holy name for ever and ever." |
| Animal wrote: |
| Please use quote tags as per the forum rules. |
| Whong wrote: |
| What do you think about masturbation? Is it wrong!!? |
Well, yes it is wrong. It is a sin of adultury.
Bible Answer:
| Quote: |
What does the Bible say about masturbation?" is one of our most frequently asked questions. Many Christians have found it difficult to answer this question according to the Bible, because the Bible never mentions masturbation specifically. To understand how God feels about this subject, we must examine other verses that deal with issues such as lust, self-control and purity. Also, we must examine its fruit to see if it is from God. We have tried to address this issue by answering some of the most frequently asked questions. Our prayer is that God will use this page to bring freedom and deliverance.
"Does God care about what we do in the privacy of our bedrooms?"
Sex is God's invention. He is the mastermind behind it—and His creation is worth far more to Him than it is to us. This beautiful expression of love was created out of His own heart, as a gift to be experienced between a husband and wife. It is only in marriage that this manifestation of intimacy can be fully enjoyed in the depth for which it was created.
"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4, NIV).
"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but ****** and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4, KJV).
The more beautiful and unique something is (like sexual intercourse), the more power it holds over our lives, either for good or bad influence. That is why it is so easy for the devil to corrupt the most precious of God's gifts. When we become more in love with the gifts than the One who endowed them, the things that were designed to bless us begin to destroy us instead. Yes, God cares about what we do with our bodies, in public or in private. He doesn't want us to abuse ourselves in any way.
In fact, an older definition of masturbation is "self-abuse." Although more modern dictionaries may no longer carry this definition, they are still linked together under self-abuse:
Self-abuse noun¹
1. Abuse of oneself or one's abilities.
2. Masturbation.
1 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV) further confirms this, saying that unlawful sexual relations defile our own bodies. "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."
"Isn't it still better to masturbate than to commit fornication?"
The easy answer to this question would be, "Yes, it is better to masturbate, because at best it corrupts only one person. It certainly is the lesser of two evils." However, why would a loving, holy, all-powerful God abandon you to a situation in which you have to choose any evil, whether it be "lesser" or "greater?" To really answer this question, we must again go back to God's original plan for sex.
First of all, masturbation will not truly relieve the sexual pressure that one may feel. It may for a short moment, but in the long run it only creates a deeper desire and capacity for sex, which will lead to more masturbation. If you let yourself become enslaved to a sexual high, you will find that you need to go to increasingly extreme acts to maintain the same degree of excitement. There are even ungodly sex therapists who recommend masturbation as a way of increasing sexual desire, not lessening it. This creates a vicious circle, like the junkie who craves a "fix," but is only temporarily satisfied. The more he indulges in his dependency, the more ensnared by addiction he becomes. This is the nature of all sin. That is why Jesus declared that all who sin become a slave to sin (John 8:34).
Furthermore, masturbation usually involves fantasy, visualization, and often pornography. The Bible is very clear as to what God expects of us in these areas of fantasy and lust. It teaches that we must not look lustfully at each other nor should we behave in such a manner as to entice others to lust after us.
"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust upon a girl. I know full well that the Almighty God sends calamity on those who do" (Job 31:1-3, The Living Bible).
"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:2 .
While the above verses refer to men lusting after women, all women know that it can very easily be reversed to apply to themselves as well. Men may be more easily visually stimulated than women, but women can be just as vulnerable to sexual fantasy in the emotional realm. Both are sin in God's eyes, and both can be brought into subjection by controlling our thoughts through Christ's power.
All sexual immorality begins with a thought. A lustful thought not taken captive, will eventually lead to other perversions, because sin reproduces itself in increasingly greater measures. If we do not deal with our evil thoughts, they will take root in our hearts.
It is for this reason that God is so concerned with our thought life. Jesus came not only to deliver us from our "outward" sins, but also from wickedness that begins in the heart.
"Isn't God unreasonable to demand sexual purity after giving us sexual drives that seem to overwhelm us at times?"
Our loving God never demands from us what is impossible for us to do. We are so weak within ourselves that it may seem impossible, but He will equip us with His holy power to overcome any sin, if we ask in faith.
Of course, sexual urges in and of themselves are not wicked. They are natural. God created us that way. He desires that we get optimum pleasure out of them by using them the way they were created to be used. However, many desires for physical gratification (whether it be food, sex, etc.) stem from a deeper need that is unfilled deep inside us. Gorging our flesh can never fill a hunger that grows out of our spirit. Only intimacy with God can fill the deepest needs inside of us. No other created thing has that power.
God is no more unreasonable than any caring parent who lovingly disciplines their child. It is only because He knows what is best for us. He sees a mighty potential in each one of us that far supersedes our wildest dreams, and He loves us enough to do all He can to bring it to pass.
"I agree with all the theory, but living it out on a day to day level is another story."
This is the place where we need the empowerment of the Holy Spirit in our everyday lives. The Holy Spirit is not a vague "force," but the very power of God to comfort you and strengthen you against the sins that used to rule you before you were born again. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we have the very ability that Jesus had to resist temptation. He depended completely upon the Father and so must we.
Something you must know is that God is not the one who is tempting you in this area to "test" you. God is on your side and wants to set you free from these things, not lead you into them! "When tempted, no one should say "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed" (James 1:13-14).
God wants us to overcome every sin and temptation in our lives. Please slowly read the following verses and let their message seep deep inside your spirit.
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" (1 Corinthians 10:13).
"For though we live in the world we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:3-5).
"In the same way count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master for you are not under law but under grace" (Romans 6:11-14).
"For we have not a high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:15-16, King James Version).
"Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God" (2 Corinthians 7:1).
"Can I really be set free?"
"In (this) freedom, Christ has made us free—completely liberated us; stand fast then, and do not be hampered and held ensnared and submit again to a yoke of slavery—which you have once put off " (Galatians 5:1 Amp).
If you are in a real struggle with any form of sexual sin, we do not believe it was by accident that God led you to this teaching. He wants to set you free, starting right now! We would like to share several things that you can do to break loose from this stronghold:
1. Confess this sin first to God, then go to a committed Christian you trust, such as your pastor. Ask God to lead you to someone that you can be accountable with, who will be faithful to pray with you and for you. This will take humility on your part, but it will lead to life. James 5:16 says: "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." (You may not feel "righteous" but if you have admitted your sin to God and received His forgiveness, you are! That means your prayers are powerful and effective!)
2. Flee from and reject anything that aggravates this sin. For example, you may need to get off the Internet for a season or purchase software that blocks out pornography. This may sound too drastic, but it certainly is mild compared to Jesus who said, "If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body, than for your whole body to go into Hell" (Matthew 5:30). His point was that we must be willing to part with anything that causes us to sin—even if it hurts temporarily.
3. You may need to seek healing and deliverance from qualified Christians who are anointed in this area of ministry. If you have been deeply involved in sexual sins, the devil probably has a stronghold in that area of your life. If you can, find some people who can help you stand against the devil, for he is the one who seeks to lead you into temptation, and whispers lies of hopelessness and shame into your ears. If he drops a filthy thought into your mind just when you are trying to pray (he has used this tactic on even the holiest saints of God), tell him to leave in the name of Jesus! Recognize his voice for what it is, and submit yourself to God. As you do this and resist the devil, he will flee from you! He is deathly afraid of those who are submitted to God in brokenness and humility.
4. Don't give up! Deliverance might take time. Self-control takes effort. You may slip occasionally—or even a lot. But remember that God loves you and He will be faithful to perfect His character in you as long you keep submitting to Him. Eventually you will win—and not because of your best efforts, but because of God's mercy (Titus 3:5). Just as salvation is received in faith, so deliverance must be received in faith. This has nothing to do with our character, strength, or failings. The only thing it is dependant upon is you receiving it in humility. If you should fail, recognize it quickly, ask God to forgive you—and then receive His forgiveness! He is faithful to do that which He promised, not just in a select few mighty men and women of God, but in all who are willing to come humbly before Him. That includes you! We want to encourage you to hold on to this scripture as your anchor:
"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it" (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24).
If there is anything else we can do to help you, please let us know. In closing, we would like to pray for you:
"Father, we thank you for bringing this person into our website. We know that it was your Holy Spirit that led them here and we thank you for your faithfulness to them! We lift them up to you now and ask that You fill them with a desire for You that transcends every other desire they have ever known. Let them know your cleansing love and power. We thank you that he whom the Son has set free, is free indeed. We speak this freedom into the life of this one whom the devil has bound in shame. We speak healing and deliverance and we break every tie that has kept them under a spirit of addiction and perversion. We stand against the Evil One and his every plan to bring destruction in this one's life. Father, in faith, and by the power and authority You have given us, we declare that this one is FREE in the name of Jesus! We commit them to Your care and we loose Your Holy Spirit to minister to them at this very instant. We ask these things in the precious name of Your son, Jesus Christ."
|
I disagree with that, sex is a thing that you should be able to do whenever you want. It's all about pleasure. If you marry someone and you have sex with him after the wedding, what would you do if you realize he sucks at sex?
And I agree on masturbation too, I think self-pleasure is a right that concern ourselves only not religion.
OK, so we have some people who have standards and morals like myself, especially if you're religous...
But then you fall in love, that changes everything... you partner offers you sex, and you've been dreamin of it for ages, and you both want it....
And you plan it, and you have feelings for it, and it's a mature relationship.... Rules always have exceptions...
What if you rush into marriage, then the sex after marriage would be fine, but the marriage mighn't be...
| wimvpetegem wrote: |
As I said: sex can also something more than only a orgasm.
Only kissing could be sex. |
Why do you think that? Do you have any arguments that can make me clear that kissing is sex? So if they asked you "have you ever had sex?", do you think they are talking about sexual intercourse or about kissing? I think the first.well. i'm not christian, so i don't know if this helps you. but before christianity, there was paganism -in which all denominations believed sex was beloved and should be celebrated. yes, times have changed, but if you're reffering to tradition (the bible), another tradition says that sex is not a sin in any form (obviously not including rape and such).
on a personal side, i don't believe you should wait to have sex until you're married. having sex before you're wedded gives you a chance to know what you're looking for..what if you marry someone who does something you -hate- and you have to live with it for the rest of your life?
| ebkari wrote: |
on a personal side, i don't believe you should wait to have sex until you're married. having sex before you're wedded gives you a chance to know what you're looking for..what if you marry someone who does something you -hate- and you have to live with it for the rest of your life? |
To make love you need two persons. If something bothers you, saying it to your partner is more effective than breaking up and looking for someone else. I mean, if you really have a good relationship, you're not going to break up because of the bad sex? (OK, I agree that some people may be very bad in bed, but that's still no reason to break up.)I've heard of those situations where it turns out after the wedding that the girl (sometimes the guy) just doesn't want sex at all. I've seen people get surprised by a spouse that would like sex maybe once a year.
[quote="thpn"]
Well, it says it right here...
| Quote: |
| "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." |
I snipped the rest because it's an interpratation of somebody. Which source are you using? I can´t see a word about havin sex, before marriage!
Greets! | Brakdûr wrote: |
I snipped the rest because it's an interpratation of somebody. Which source are you using? I can´t see a word about havin sex, before marriage!
Greets! |
I'm using www.bible.com.[/url]i wouldn't say Sex before marriage is completely wrong.. In this case, people involving in carnal activity should be above 18 clean of any STDs...
Well, actually, if someone want's to have sex before marriage it's his own private business and shouldn't concern anyone else (but his sex partner but of course). Some people want to have sex before marriage, others don't. Their decition. So go have sex when you fell your'e ready.
It is kind of dumb. I mean, marriage costs a tens of thousands (au) all for that "perfect" marriage
I think that one of the reasons this issue is so unclear, is that our ideas about marriage have changed so much over time.
In Biblical times, people got married at ayoung age. It wasn't a big to-do... the woman just moved into the man's tent. (Not a lot of room for debate on this, just read your Bibles)
Now, we figure we encourage young people to get an education, pursue a career, get it all together - before they consider marriage. That's a lot more time to be tempted.
And then we're encouraged to date several people whom we have no intention of ever marrying.
And then the couple should have a lengthy engagement, lots of unchaperoned dates, and the wedding HAS to be a big public display.
And of course, marriage is a legal contract, not a simple union in the eyes of God.
Well, if we truly expect people to abstain from sexual contact (I do believe it's more than just intercourse we should resist)... we're sending some mixed messages, aren't we? If we really value this whole no-sex-before-marriage thing, the whole thing has to be reworked.
I think most of us pay lip service to the idea, but our values are reflected more in what we do than in what we say.
You see, from someone standing outside and looking in this is what you would see. There are things called STDs [Sexually Transmitted Diseases]. A few of them (HIV, Genital Herpies, etc.) can cause to death, lifetime illness, or being unfertile [Never being able to have a child]. Now, if to partners have pre-marital sex then:
1. You could get an STD which will lead to...
2. You could form cancer, you could become unfertile (women), you could die, you could have blisters all over you genital area, or you could die (no, i did not put it twice by accident).
3. You loose you virginity! This is the most special gift to your partner at marriage.
4. You could become pregnent.
Now, I don't know about all women but I am sure that most do not want to be unfertile for the rest of their life. Also, most people don't want to die early or have the fear of death. Also also, do you want to spread your disease around to toher people and kill everyone because you had a stupid one-night-stand with a guy/girl that left you the next morning broken-hearted? Also (and most importantly), do you want to loose you virginity to someone who does not care about you?
Think of your virginity as a boot. Now, this boot is the wedding present to your spouse for him/her to wear. If you wait until marriage, think of how happy he/she will be to have a nice clean boot anly for her/him. But, if you sleep around for ten years and have all kinds of STDs and abortions or children behind you what will he/she think..."Great gift honey!", yeah right.
Now, a lot of you keep saying that of you don't practice then you will be horrible when you are married and split up...not if he/she loved you! Mabye God (Allah, etc.) wants you to not be great at sex to test your spouse, he has a plan for everything you know. If he does split with you, he never cared about you. If he does love you then it won't matter because you don't have to know positions 1-208 to produce a child, 1 will do just fine. That is what sex is! God's gift of love to be shared between you and your indefinate partner only! So, if you want to die and go to Hell then continue sleeping around but be sure to say Hi to Satan for me! But, if you want eternal life in Heaven with the infallible God, Mary, and Jesus stick with God's plan and he will reward you beyond your imagination.
| Diebels wrote: |
| thpn wrote: | | Now, in my religion, Catholic, we beleive that sex before marriage is wrong. That God made sex to be for married couples only and that it is sinful to even dwell on sexual thoughts. |
I think this is completly Bulls**t, here in Europe you are not forced into marriga like in other countrys (no offence). Like me and my Wife, we are together for many years and have a little daughter, but we never going to get married. I call her my wife bacause she is in my heart and as such also accepted in my and her familily.There is no reasen to getmarried when you really love each other. And in the case you want to split up you do it anyway, if married or not.
Thats my opinion |
I totally agree with you . It is completely bullshit. even in the bible, people never used to get married officially. it was simply saying that this woman is your wife and that you are married to her. it does not even mention any ceremony's that were done.
So marriage in the bible was just a thought and nothing was signed or anything formal was not done so why not just say that every woman is your wife then it will not be against your religeon. you can have many wives. infact like the whole entire world.
did'nt the wisest man in the bible have sooooooooooo many wives. Be wise. Have many and call them your wives then you will go to haeven and you will be wise and happy.
BUT USE PROTECTION IF YOU WANT MANY | MWANGI wrote: |
So marriage in the bible was just a thought and nothing was signed or anything formal was not done so why not just say that every woman is your wife then it will not be against your religeon. you can have many wives. infact like the whole entire world.
did'nt the wisest man in the bible have sooooooooooo many wives. Be wise. Have many and call them your wives then you will go to haeven and you will be wise and happy.
BUT USE PROTECTION IF YOU WANT MANY |
The sixth commandement: "You shall not commit adultery." Quite clear, isn't it? Who do you mean with "the wisest man in the bible"? I hope you don't mean Jezus. Maybe you're talking about a mormon gospel or something.The bible includes the old testament as well, common overlooked for some reason by many christians. It is difficult to find a major male figure there without more than one wife.
| smartbei wrote: |
| The bible includes the old testament as well, common overlooked for some reason by many christians. It is difficult to find a major male figure there without more than one wife. |
The ten commendements are in the Old Testament. You have however a point that's is necessary that if a Christian wants to understand the New Testament, he also will have to read the Old Testament, because there are many references in the New Testament to the Old Testament.People obviously don't read the Bible thouroughly anymore ...You see, there were people who had many wives at one point, like David, but he saw the error of his ways and decided to change. He had three wives before Bathsheba and God punished him for that. He killed his first baby with Bathsheba and David repented and wrote hundreds of Psalms of sorrow and that asked for forgiveness. I personally am not against pre-marital, but I do think that people should only have sex with one person. The one they love. And in order to be sure that you love them, some committment is in order. And in a way, having sex is that committment. I just don't think it is right to have sex with multiple people. I think you should only share yourself with the one you are spending the rest of your life with.
Is that weird? I guess I'm not the typical teen then. Oh well.
Personal point of view...
It is certainly a good idea to limit your sexual relations to one person. That person which you are likely to have children and even spend the rest of your life with.
This claim however is not based upon some the fact that religious text imposes it. Or that choosing one or the other is thought as wrong (which is not), but because it is likely to save the individual from going through a bunch of possible problems, including not only STDs as it has already been mentioned, but also psychological.
Thinking economically, having sexual relations with one person is likely to ameliorate a lot of today's problems, including teenage suicide rate, abortion rate, premature defects, child death rate, STDs spread and many other factors... Yet, this is only logical thinking. I am not saying having sexual relations with more than one person is wrong! Or claiming that it is a sin because someone wrote so, or simply because of mere faith. I am simply observing data and providing an opinion based on it.
In addition, the whole deal behind sex before/after marriage... Neither one nor the other is wrong... just as it goes with the whole topic. Let’s just say, that there are intelligent and stupid decisions from sexually active individuals. Consider this case: Why does it makes a difference if one has a sexual relation with a person and then gets married to that person? (Hence I ask for logical reasoning not for proverbial references)
In fact… it does make a difference in the overall circumstance… We’ll see that having sex before marriage is likely to decrease the chances of one getting married to that person. In addition, it seems to take away from the enthusiastic passion that leads many into marriage (this is not always the case).
Live I’ve said, choosing one or the other is not wrong, yet there is only better and worse choice. A bad choice is not necessarily a wrong choice. Hence I stress on this topic because it seems that many religions try to inculcate individuals in waiting for marriage in order to have sexual relations though a fear system - Which I find very annoying…. “If you don’t act this way than you are a sinner, because for some reason that I don’t even understand this is a sin and is wrong!!” many would say… Yet here then I start to shift into a different topic: Using a fear system as a way to educate people into right choice… Given the current statistics on premarital sex, this system seems to not be working very well. Instead, I think individuals should learn more about acting through deliberation, instead of feeling. Here then, a lot of people will be more likely to stop having premarital sex because they understand a different decision is smarter, not because of the fear of being sent to hell if you did so.
| thpn wrote: |
| Brakdûr wrote: |
I snipped the rest because it's an interpratation of somebody. Which source are you using? I can´t see a word about havin sex, before marriage!
Greets! |
I'm using www.bible.com.[/url] |
As I already said, these are interpratations, maybe you shoud read their "about" page
Greets | Brakdûr wrote: |
| thpn wrote: | | Brakdûr wrote: |
I snipped the rest because it's an interpratation of somebody. Which source are you using? I can´t see a word about havin sex, before marriage!
Greets! |
I'm using www.bible.com.[/url] |
As I already said, these are interpratations, maybe you shoud read their "about" page
Greets |
I did, twice, and it says absolutly nothing about interpretations. Mabye you should read the book that tells what I believe, the Catechism, and then mabye you will find that you can't weasel you way out of everthing you little freak.
http://www.christusrex.org/www1/CDHN/ccc_cont.html[/url] | thpn wrote: |
| Mabye you should read the book that tells what I believe, the Catechism, and then mabye you will find that you can't weasel you way out of everthing you little freak. |
Plonk!
Is it your way of getting people with other opinons out of your way? Saying "freak"? Very christian....
Great, welcome to my ignore list...
GreetsPremarital sex is a privilege of our spoiled society.
I am currently living in South Africa, which has a high incidence of AIDS.
An interesting development, is that the government is currently preaching to people to abstain from sex before marriage. There are large billboards warning against AIDS, against promiscuity and against sex before marriage. There were also radio advertisements, etc.
Another interesting point is that psychologists have said that individuals who sleep around a lot before marriage often have broken marriages because they are often suspicious of their partners. Those who marry as virgins are often happier, more stable and closer to their partners.
Other studies have shown that the people who live the longest, happiest, healthiest lives, are often married with children and are engaged in some sort of spiritual and community activity (church, in a word).
On the other hand, various churches have demonized sex so much that some married couples only make love once a month or once a week.
Medical studies show that it is healthy to have sex several times a week depending on your age group (speak to your doctor).
On this subject, I also read an letter in a magazine about 2 weeks ago. It was written by a young woman who said she had been a virgin for 22 years before finally 'doing it' with "Mr. Right". She went on to say that after that she never heard from him again and deeply regreted her mistake. She had even become a little bitter and said that all men were cads. She advised all women readers not to give themselves to anyone before their wedding night.
What I pick up from this is that whatever your choice, you'll have to live with it for the rest of your life. What is done is done and can never be undone. It certainly seems to me that sex is enjoyable and normal, it is not something to hide or be ashamed of, but for best results it should be shared with someone you love and care about and are in a permanent relationship with. That also provides stability for any children that may result.
| Brakdûr wrote: |
| thpn wrote: | | Mabye you should read the book that tells what I believe, the Catechism, and then mabye you will find that you can't weasel you way out of everthing you little freak. |
Plonk!
Is it your way of getting people with other opinons out of your way? Saying "freak"? Very christian....
Great, welcome to my ignore list...
Greets |
Thank heavens! It's about time, by the way I am kinda new to FriHost so is there an ignore list on here? I've been dying to add you.sex is something to relax, enjoy and for other things but some of those things are wrong. sex if had with someone you love is ok in my book. but sex with someone who you don't know is wrong, comeon all your say if you don't know the person is that your desperate, unpopular and greedy.
This is silly. No, you don't become infertile - unless you don't get the STD treated. Yes, you can get STD's from a married partner, how does marriage protect you from that?
People should go at it whenever, and where ever they want.
from other discussions I've had with some people on another board, it seems waiting till the marriage has some practical application.
| Quote: |
| A good perspective that I heard once is that sex is a "balm" in the first year of marriage (I know it's cheesy but stay with me). Two people trying to mesh their lives together is hard, and sex can help smooth over the stresses during that time. When sex is new to the relationship it's all the more effective. By having sex before marriage a couple is making the first year of their marriage more difficult. I have seen this happen when I compare a variety of my friends. The ones who had sex before marriage had a much more difficult first year of marriage. They fought a lot more than my friends who waited. |
| thpn wrote: |
You see, from someone standing outside and looking in this is what you would see. There are things called STDs [Sexually Transmitted Diseases]. A few of them (HIV, Genital Herpies, etc.) can cause to death, lifetime illness, or being unfertile [Never being able to have a child]. Now, if to partners have pre-marital sex then:
1. You could get an STD which will lead to...
2. You could form cancer, you could become unfertile (women), you could die, you could have blisters all over you genital area, or you could die (no, i did not put it twice by accident).
3. You loose you virginity! This is the most special gift to your partner at marriage.
4. You could become pregnent. |
I missed the part where this is any different from sex after marriage. Pre-marital sex does not necessarily mean promiscuous unsafe sex which is the type of behavior which carries an increased risk of all of these (except having losing you virginity, all of these carry exactly the same risk of losing your virginity 100%). Unsafe promiscuous sex I disagree with to an extent simply because it is somewhat stupid (and, by definition, unsafe). However pre-marital sex is perfectly fine.
| thpn wrote: |
| Now, I don't know about all women but I am sure that most do not want to be unfertile for the rest of their life. Also, most people don't want to die early or have the fear of death. Also also, do you want to spread your disease around to toher people and kill everyone because you had a stupid one-night-stand with a guy/girl that left you the next morning broken-hearted? Also (and most importantly), do you want to loose you virginity to someone who does not care about you? |
Once again, you're mixing up pre-marital promiscuous unsafe sex with simple garden variety pre-marital sex. Aside from this silly mixup is the fact that you seem to assume a lot of things. Like the fact that anyone you have pre-marital sex with does not care about you, or the fact that everyone who has sex outside of marriage is automatically a carrier for all kinds of nast STDs and suchlike. This is just silly.
| thpn wrote: |
| Think of your virginity as a boot. Now, this boot is the wedding present to your spouse for him/her to wear. If you wait until marriage, think of how happy he/she will be to have a nice clean boot anly for her/him. But, if you sleep around for ten years and have all kinds of STDs and abortions or children behind you what will he/she think..."Great gift honey!", yeah right. |
Once again, all sorts of silly assumptions and mixups make this really irrelevant. I'd like to add that your spouse (as they love you etc.) shouldn't be making that big a deal about your virginity (or lack thereof), they should be making a big deal about your love for each other. Although your virginity can be a nice symbolic gift to your partner in reality it has no actual relevance.
| thpn wrote: |
| Now, a lot of you keep saying that of you don't practice then you will be horrible when you are married and split up...not if he/she loved you! Mabye God (Allah, etc.) wants you to not be great at sex to test your spouse, he has a plan for everything you know. If he does split with you, he never cared about you. If he does love you then it won't matter because you don't have to know positions 1-208 to produce a child, 1 will do just fine. That is what sex is! God's gift of love to be shared between you and your indefinate partner only! So, if you want to die and go to Hell then continue sleeping around but be sure to say Hi to Satan for me! But, if you want eternal life in Heaven with the infallible God, Mary, and Jesus stick with God's plan and he will reward you beyond your imagination. |
This bit is irrelevant because you make all sorts of wonderful new assumptions which are as equally silly (if not sillier) as the rest. You make a nice blanket assumption that everyone here believes in an omnipotent Judeo-Christian-Islamic god which frowns upon pre-marital sex, is omnicient, and cares enough about a little inconsequetial pinprick of life (like you or me) to damn us to hell for sleeping around. This is silly for a number of reasons, namely: Your base theology is off, there are a number of Christian denominations that in no way frown upon pre-marital sex and believe that they are correct just as fervently as you believe the opposite. I don't know for sure about Islam and Judeaism (I have no personal experience there) but I'm fairly sure you could find a sect in each which would agree that pre-marital sex (as long as it is responsible) is fine and dandy. The other major reason that this is incorrect is far simpler and far more important: not everyone is Christian. In fact some of us (me for instance) hold no belief in god at all and thus your silly religious ranting holds no sway over us.If you put religion aside, I think sex is a matter of personal freedom to use one's body as one likes. Sexual desire is something which is put into man by God, a young person is compelled to think about it, whether he/she approves of it or not. So what is the fault of that person who gives in to such desires and can't control him/herself?
I, despite being a Muslim, think that sex before marraige is no big sin, while I also beleive that it is a harmful activity. And dont u think that I am a sexually active person( I am a 25 year old virgin man!!! 
)
Now considering my situation, is it possible for someone like me (is there any? ) to oppose this idea? how can I deny myself this pleasure knowing that I am already so late at that? Now I have three choices before me, one, to get married as soon as possible(which I can't for the time being), second, to keep on controlling myself (even that I can't do anymore 
), and third, to go for sex whenever I get a chance and make up for the lost time before I get old.
I am definitely going for the third option I'll do it at the first chance I get 
I'll also ask what other 25 or more years old virgins think about Sex Before Marraige? If there are any at all in this world!
Moderator's Note: Please do not post entirely in large and bold letters. I don't mean to offend anyone but reading throught his thread I was reminded of something one of my friends had once said - Those who aint getting any would go to any lenghts to justify why.
To each his own interpretations.
| ainieas wrote: |
I don't mean to offend anyone but reading throught his thread I was reminded of something one of my friends had once said - Those who aint getting any would go to any lenghts to justify why.
To each his own interpretations. |
Ainieas! this is what I was trying to explain, those who want it but don't get it would go to any length to justify it, they dont care about religion or any culture or law. And that's the case with me and others like me.
By the way, whats your opinion about this topic? how would you justify your point?As my father once said "Getting married is like buying a car, you don't sign the papers until you've taken it for a test drive". I would have to say that sex before marriage is almost needed. If you're not compatible in the bedroom, it will put a strain on the rest of your relationship, eventually erroding away at the other things that may be keeping you together. I can say this from expierence. As my wife and I's sex life went downhill, so has the rest of our relationship.It has taken time, 6 years, to get to it's lowest point, but it can and does happen.
~Crazy
My fiancee and I were together for six months before we decided to have sex for the first time. In six months time, we grew closer, I asked her to marry me, all that. Well, sex just forged our relationship into something even greater than it already was. We knew what we were doing, and that it was wrong. But at the time, if it was wrong, we didn't want to be right. That is how much we loved each other. And still do. A lot of people say sex complicates things, but that is only true if you are having sex before you even get to know your partner. We knew everything about each other, and like I said, sex just forged our relationship into something stronger. I would reccomend to anyone to get to know your partner before you even think about sex.
Good that it worked for you, but it is still wrong!
Sex before marriage is a bad thing how ever much you loved you're partner!
It is a question of respect, respect for your partner, for his/her parents and family. You've got to weigh all those things, wait for your wedding night, it will come, and if you've already had sex, what fun is in the wedding night then?
Do not rush into it like a bull into a china clauset! Yes, I completely agree with you that it was wrong. But, at the same, time, we didn't want to be right. We wanted to embrace each other and never hold anything back. In a sense, we sealed our marriage right there, because we gave everything we had to each other and held NOTHING back. It was a beautiful thing.
From http://ic.net/~erasmus/RAZ203.HTM:
| Quote: |
"To begin with, sex before marriage is sex without commitment. If we do not like our partners, we can change and find somebody else. Such casual relationships destroy the integrity of the person by reducing it to an object to be used for personal gratification. Some, who feel hurt and used after sexual encounters, may withdraw altogether from sexual activity for fear of being used again or may decide to use their bodies selfishly, without regard to the feeling of others. Either way, our sexuality is distorted because it destroys the possibility of using it to relate genuinely and intimately toward the one we love. Sex cannot be used as a means for fun with one partner at one time and as a way to express genuine love and commitment with another partner at another time.
Those who become accustomed to a variety of sexual partners will find it difficult, if not impossible, to express through sex their total commitment and final intimacy to their marital partners. Engaged couples will probably deny that when they sleep together they are not expressing genuine commitment to one another. But if they were fully and finally committed to each other, they would be married. Engagement is the preparation for marriage, but it is not marriage. Until the wedding vows are taken, the possibility of breaking up a relationship exists. If a couple has had intercourse together, they have compromised their relationship. Any subsequent break up will leave permanent emotional scars. " |
| Animal wrote: |
| Use proper quote tags in future as per forum rules |
The difference between 'loving eachother' and 'being married' is that the latter includes a covenant and a promise. In case of a religion that is usually also a promise before God. This is something to keep in mind when you would say that there's no significant difference between loving eachother and being married.
| ibay wrote: |
Ainieas! this is what I was trying to explain, those who want it but don't get it would go to any length to justify it, they dont care about religion or any culture or law. And that's the case with me and others like me.
By the way, whats your opinion about this topic? how would you justify your point? |
My stand on this topic is that the whole sex before marriage balances on the definition of marriage. Define marriage to me. I don't believe that the whole wedding thing is what makes a marriage. If two people live together, whether of the same sex or different, and if they are joint by the bonds of love then thats what makes a marriage to me whether they've been blessed by the Church or any other institution or not.
As far as sex before marriage goes, I'm a pagan, I like to revel in all things beautiful. And sex to me one of the most beautiful gifts of mother nature. I don't see it wrong if you have sex before marriage. Whether you know the person since a lifetime or for a beautiful moment that which will be gone in the blink of an eye. Its been said, when you have an orgasm, for that one moment you're one with God. Tell me then, how can you look down upon such a thing.
You have to fear diseases and such, only if you indulge in unsafe sex but thats just foolish. For the sake of your future partner and yourself - be safe.
I'm in college right now and I find that oppurtunities are plenty and I take them as I see them. Atleast I did before I got into a serious relationship and incidently with a devout Catholic girl. She doesn't adhere to the interpretations of the Holy Bible given by some know-all but interprets it in accordance to her believes. And she sees nothing wrong with sex before marriage, as neither do I.
Again the who said that if you have sex before marriage you can't trust your partner later on, thats just stupid, do you think an abstainer will have complete faith in his partner. It doesn't depend on abstainence or anything but on the person that you are and on the person that your partner is. Trust is a very important thing, and you DON'T gain it by abstinence.
Again, another commented that if you have sex before marriage then the first year of marriage is really hard, let me tell ya, the first time you try to adjust the pattern of your life with another indivisual , its going to be hard any way, having or not having sex before doesn't count. Sex is not the only thing to discover in a marriage. Its just one of the countless others.
When I quoted my friend saying - Those who aint getting any would go to any lenghts to justify why - I remembered his retort to a reli-reli type who was preaching to me and my friends that we were going to Hell for our indulgences. Let me ask - whose Hell?
Another question - if a really hot boy/girl were to preposition you, what would you do?I suppose it comes down to different strokes for different folks...
For me, I don't believe in a formal marriage, although the sentiment embodied in the institution is important in all relationships, so I've no problem with sex before marriage. However, I don't have one night stands either. I don't have anything against them, it's just not me. So when I do sleep with someone I'm in for the long haul, although it hasn't always worked out like that.
For other people, clearly many in this forum, marriage is extremely important . If marriage in your book means saving yourself for your spouse, and this is very important to you, then of course you shouldn't have sex before marriage.
The really important thing is to stick to what you believe in and be happy with yourself. If you contravene that then you'll be unhappy, if you're unhappy then maybe your partner becomes unhappy. Then marriage would be no fun at all... even with the sex | ainieas wrote: |
| If two people live together, whether of the same sex or different, and if they are joint by the bonds of love then thats what makes a marriage to me |
I hope you did read my posting directly above yours. It's almost a direct reply...i think the whole saving sex for marriage thing is stupid. no offense if this is something that you believe in, all the more power to you, but i personally don't see the purpose in it.
i saw someone wrote this before, but what if the person you marry ends up being really bad in bed? sex isn't ALL of a relationship, but i think it's a large part of it. if something that large in a relationship isn't working, there will be obvious problems in the future and no one wants to be in an unhappy marriage.
also, i think it's ridiculous to think that god or whoever you may believe in will think it's totally wrong to have sex right up until the second you're married, and then poof - right after you say your vows you can screw like wild animals.
i think religion should be seen as guidelines for when you need guidance, not strict rules that must be 100% adhered to. that's what laws and police are for.
Sex without boundaries is bound to hedonism. Not a bad thing if that is what you want to be. Some boundaries are unsafe to cross many times in a lifetime. I think the US's CDC considers three sexual partners in a life time to be a high risk for HIV and other STIs. THis is important because it speaks to the increasing risk of the behaviors associated with sex. Alcohol and drugs use in conjuction with sex can lead to a good time, but can also lead to a time in the future of festering sores, blindness, and death.
Sex itself is not evil. It is fun, exciting, and a deep expression of love. Sharing a deep expression of live with someone whose name you can not remember just devalues yourself and the other person.
It is something to protect and enjoy.
No cant do... religeos restraints!!!
I just recently started thinking about it, and when i asked various scholars of islam, they denied sex before marriage, and sed that it is only after marriage that sex is allowed in islam... otherwise i dont think there is any reason to NOT have sex beforre marriage!
Sex shouldn't be just for pleasure. It should be gesture of love. People forget about it. I don't know how in your countrys, but in Poland it's not imaginable that a person like me, in my age (I'm 15) would have a sex
| thpn wrote: |
Alright, this is getting out-of-line. You are all going to Hell by not seeing that you are Gods people and, no matter how ... long ago it was written, the Bible is still God's Word and we should still follow it. Sex is for married, being together in Holy Matronmony, and no one other. So...
MODERATORS, PLEASE DELETE THIS TOPIC! |
In response to the edited first post by the topic author, I have decided not to close this topic. The way in which the close-request was made was completely wrong - if there is a topic you wish closed or moved, please send any moderator a PM and give good reasons for closing it. However, I have removed a large number of off-topic posts where there was a complete tangent to this topic, and some of the comments were clearly inflammatory. Please keep replies on-topic (that would be "sex before marriage") and if you have other, un-related comments to make about religious beliefs or other practices, please search the forums and make your point in an appropriate topic. | Sebaci wrote: |
| Sex shouldn't be just for pleasure. It should be gesture of love. People forget about it. I don't know how in your countrys, but in Poland it's not imaginable that a person like me, in my age (I'm 15) would have a sex |
Sebaci, I actually agree with you. In the US, sex has had a large number of meanings placed on it that it shouldn't have. One of which, is when a boy looses his virginity he becomes a man. It is this way of thinking, on top of the puritinistic way of thinking about sex, that causes such a stir in the US.
Sex, until christianity spread world wide, wasn't viewed, generally, in a negative light. It is when it is associated with things like sin that it becomes a problem. Then, when those "sins" are viewed in a way that makes the act something that should be done, it confuses people.
Now I'm not trying to degrade Christianity, it has many positive qualities, but I do belive that it's view on certain subjects, one of which is sex, has caused more problems than it has solved.
When something becomes a "big deal" or "Hot Topic" then just about everyone has an opinion on it. When something just kind of floats in the back ground, then it becomes less of a problem.I agree to quite an extent actually... sex should be limited with people you really care and love..... hence one should atleast try to hold till marriage
This all depends upon where u r.
U know, human sentiments are not universal. Culture and Values define the way human socializes its instincts.
Thats the way it is.
where u are, when u r.
Sex before marriage isn't even debateable. Regardless of religion, marriage is neither sacred no really religiously linked. It's a union sanctioned by the state and has very little do with any real commitment or anything else.
| dyrtyrice wrote: |
| It's a union sanctioned by the state and has very little do with any real commitment or anything else. |
In earlier day marriage was a real commitment, the husband and wife where truly commited to each other so there goes your theory!
Marriage is a holy thing that God has made for humans, so let us enjoy it! | Josso wrote: |
No offense but - bull****
People should be able to do what they want |
Does that mean 'anything'?
Well I think they are not free to engage in incest, child sex, pornography and lot many other things. It is against the law and land them in jail. And remember that the laws are aimed at betterment of society.
Similarly, in ancient times certain moral code of conduct was formed aimed at maintaining moral standards of society. Sex within wedlock is one of them. It helped to avoid inheritance disputes, quarrels between males for a female as we witness in animals, division of work in household etc. It become a sort of law afterward and included as religious practice / principle to ensure its compliance. And it has helped to develop current civilization as we can see.
So let it remain as it is. Dont change it just to get pleasure for a few moments. | ThatCrazyGuy wrote: |
As my father once said "Getting married is like buying a car, you don't sign the papers until you've taken it for a test drive". I would have to say that sex before marriage is almost needed. If you're not compatible in the bedroom, it will put a strain on the rest of your relationship, eventually erroding away at the other things that may be keeping you together. I can say this from expierence. As my wife and I's sex life went downhill, so has the rest of our relationship.It has taken time, 6 years, to get to it's lowest point, but it can and does happen.
~Crazy |
I agree with this one the most. Those that advocate no sex before marriage probably havent been married. It takes a lot of preparation and chemistry to make a marriage work. | dragonflame wrote: |
| ThatCrazyGuy wrote: | As my father once said "Getting married is like buying a car, you don't sign the papers until you've taken it for a test drive". I would have to say that sex before marriage is almost needed. If you're not compatible in the bedroom, it will put a strain on the rest of your relationship, eventually erroding away at the other things that may be keeping you together. I can say this from expierence. As my wife and I's sex life went downhill, so has the rest of our relationship.It has taken time, 6 years, to get to it's lowest point, but it can and does happen.
~Crazy |
I agree with this one the most. Those that advocate no sex before marriage probably havent been married. It takes a lot of preparation and chemistry to make a marriage work. |
I disagree
A marriage will only last happily if you put God i the center of focus. Only by God's blessing a marriage will last!
In India the parents choose with whom their children will get marriede. That's one reason also why there are so much less divorcess in India and Asia!
Marriage is a Holy thing, so treat it as a Holy thing and your partner by waiting untill the wedding night! You will have much more pleasure in having sex on the wedding night than if you already had it before. By doing so you honor your parents and family, your partner, your partners family and your self! Wow, what a topic and those are some interesting replies.
Sex before marriage is a sin. That's a fact, although you probably won't care unless you're a Jew or a Christian. Someone kept continually asking where in the bible it is stated and I feel that you never got a clear answer but there was a lot of fun catholic mumbo jumbo in there! And while pretty much correct it didn't directly and concisely answer your question.
(Exo 20:14 KJV) Thou shalt not commit adultery.
What is adultery?
Here is the Hebrew definition of the word they use.
H5003
נאף
nâ'aph
naw-af'
A primitive root; to commit adultery; figuratively to apostatize: - adulterer (-ess), commit (-ing) adultery, woman that breaketh wedlock.
Well that doesn't help much. Does it? the word is used 17 times in the old testament and they all use the same Hebrew word. If you include the variations of adultery it appears 34 times and all variations reference back to this diffinition. Unfortunately we're now defining a word with the word itself. So let us use Webster’s dictionary, the original, which was based mostly off of the bible to get the definitions of words in our English language.
| Quote: |
Adultery
ADUL'TERY, n. [L. adulterium. See Adulterate.]
1. Violation of the marriage bed; a crime, or a civil injury, which introduces, or may introduce, into a family, a spurious offspring.
By the laws of Connecticut, the sexual intercourse of any man, with a married woman, is the crime of adultery in both: such intercourse of a married man, with an unmarried woman, is fornication in both, and adultery of the man, within the meaning of the law respecting divorce; but not a felonious adultery in either, or the crime of adultery at common law, or by statute. This latter offense is, in England, proceeded with only in the ecclesiastical courts.
In common usage, adultery means the unfaithfulness of any married person to the |