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Talk about your children...





riv_
I just read a post in another thread updating me on another members baby, and it felt really good.
I wonder if there are any other parents out there who wanted to talk about there kids?
I have a son who is 1-1/2. He was born 15 weeks prematurely, so he has some health concerns, but is an absolute miracle! He is developing normally for his age (which is almost unheard of!) and is doing normal 1-1/2 year old things...
like trying to kill himself a gazillion times a day....
...and having tantrums...
and toilet training...
which gives me plenty to talk about, and lots to seek advice about.
So tell me, do any of you have children? What issues are you facing today? What parenting questions do you have? What helpful experience can you share with parenting noobies?
Vrythramax
Now here's a topic I could go on all day about Smile

I have an (almost) six year old daughter named Nakita (Nikki for short), and she is just the love of my life! It's rather ironic because I never wanted kids and now I can't picture, picture hell...I don't even want to think about it, life without her. She is just so much fun to be around, and you wouldn't believe some of the things she comes up with (she infomed me the other day that she wants her own computer), she's a chuckle a minute!

I love my wife, but I never dreamed it was possible to love anything as much as I love my child.

<proud father is getting off his soapbox now>
riv_
Quote:

I love my wife, but I never dreamed it was possible to love anything as much as I love my child.

Yeah, I know what you mean! Being married is hard, but being a parent, difficult though it may be at times, isn't in the same league at all. You don't have any choice about loving your kids.
If my husband is acting like a jerk, it can be hard to still love him. But my son... I just can't help but love him. More than myself. All the time. It's incredible.
In a way, I'm almost grateful for the 4 months in the hospital - makes us even more aware of what a miracle it is to have Samuel in our lives - and we're so much more grateful for every minute of it!
I was always afraid to be a mom, but I just can't get over what a blessing it is to be responsible for Samuel, and to watch him grow!
<gushing mother, tripping over her own giant soapbox> Embarassed
Vrythramax
What I find amazing, and very disturbing, is the way some people treat thier children. I mean, here you have this little kid who can't fend for themselves and they are treated in ways no adult would want to be treated.

I honestly fear for my daughter in todays world. Not many people give a hoot about themselves let alone another person. I would go absolutly ballistic if someone were to even attempt to harm my little girl, and as a father I think that's exactly what I should do...protect her. Don't get me wrong, I will give her the freedom to live her life and make mistakes if need be, no matter how it may hurt me.

I just want the best for her, but you are right, it can, and will, be difficult...but I wouldn't trade it off for anything.

BTW....gush all you want, it's your baby after all. Cool
yupeng
I haven't got marry till now,but i like children very much,and my girl friend like children too.
I think we will have a very lovely child when we get married
riv_
Quote:
What I find amazing, and very disturbing, is the way some people treat thier children. I mean, here you have this little kid who can't fend for themselves and they are treated in ways no adult would want to be treated.

I know what you mean. I think of a woman I know who was always saying to her daughters, "How come our always so rude? Why don't you respect me?" and yet she couldn't say a thing to them without raising her voice and criticizing...
But then, at the opposite extreme is a good friend who doesn't believe in rules of any sort. And her kids treat her like garbage. And now that they're a little older, no-one wants to be around any of them. And I can't help but think that all of her softness hasn't done them any favours.
I think that's the hardest thing about parenting. The day to day stuff is a breeze. But constantly second-guessing yourself is hard. "Am I saying no too much? Am I not saying no enough? Am I smothering him with attention? Am I showing him enough affection?"...
I'm not a particularly insecure person or overly unsure parent. But I think every parent asks themselves these questions sometimes.
And I guess I can see how easy it would be for things to get out of balance. Right now Samuel is at the going-on-two stage where half my day is spent saying "no," and "don't touch" and wrestling with the little guy... not even for "discipline" (I hate that word) or anything... but just because toddlers are out to injure themselves at this age... and how else am I going to keep him out of the hospital? I can see how a weak, frustrated parent, without the proper support, would be reduced to treating their kid without proper respect.
Which doesn't make it OK.
Anyways, I know what you mean. My son is 1-1/2 and we don't have a babysitter yet. People are scary with kids.
Vrythramax
We [my wife and I] haven't really set any rules yet, Nikki is only 5 so the rules we make today will more than likely be changed tomorrow. She was a little terror when she was going through "The Terrible Two's", so I know exactly what you mean. My wife and I joked that we should just make a tape recording of us just saying "No honey don't touch that", "Nikki put that down" "Nikki where are you?"...and a host of other things just to save our vocal cords. Smile

I understand what you said about always second guessing yourself, I'm a victim of that myself. I don't think that has anything to do with paranoia, being unsure, or being overly protective...I think any loving parent goes through the same feelings...we just want to do right by our kids. Whatever you do don't stress out over it too much. I don't really know you as a person, but from what you have written here it certaiunly sounds like your a loving mother with only your sons well being in mind...keep on with that sentiment and I'm sure all will work to your advantage. Cool
riv_
Rules... yeah, I'm nasty. I have terrible rules, like... "you may absolutely not ever chew on electrical cords under any circumstances", and, "If you open the oven, you have to leave the kitchen," and, "If you hit me, I'll put you down..."
It's bizarre the stuff you hear yourself saying as a parent.
But really, we're painfully consistent about the rules. (those really are the rules I listed up there... no kidding) They're not hard rules to follow, and they're certainly not arbitrary, but they're there.
Some people think we're terribly strict, because when Samuel hit the whiny phase, we decided not to give him what he asked for, until he stopped yelling and asked nicely (he has some words, and knows some signs, so there's no need to shout.) We really doubted ourselves at first (those tantrums are so intense!) but it only took about a week and a half, and it changed.
I think what we're learning is that we really do know our son and his personality and his needs; it's important to develop the confidence to do what works for our family. I wish more people would realize that - That every child and every family is different, so we can't all do things exactly the same way!
Thank you for the encouragement. I think it's really important for parents to bounce ideas off one another! What could be more important?
Vrythramax
@riv_

I agree bouncing ideas around is a great idea, but isn't it funny how we all seek advice about how best to raise our children then get royally miffed if someone tells us how to do it? Smile As I mentioned earlier, this is a subject I can go on about forever, what can I say...I love my kid.

After rereading your posts I would like to say how sorry I am that you and your baby went through such a hard time at the start...my wife and I were very lucky in that respect. In the long run you will probobly be closer to your son as a result of the hardship. I know that sounds terribly contrite, but I believe it. I'm very glad you opened this thread, and I hope we can learn from each others experience.
yatria
Loving our children means we should do all within our power to make the necessary changes in our educational structures so that they will participate in an educational experience that truly sparks their sense of imagination and wonder and faith in their own humanity. The idea is to grow along with our kids and to allow them to challenge us as much as we challenge them.
Jack_Hammer
I don't have any children (Non that I know of anyway Wink ) and I don't think that I want any and there is little point of even thinking about having children to about my early thirties.
riv_
Cute thing of today... my son has forgotten the word for "dog" today... so the dog is a "kitty-woof". ANd in a moment of indecision about whether he wanted Daddy or Mama, he's coined the word "DaM"... He wants us both. I love the way his brain works!


@Vrythramax;
It is funny isn't it... how most parent's runa round saying "tell me what to do" but being mad when someone actually tells them. I never noticed that!
I think you're right. We feel so close to our son and like every moment with him is a gift from God. We had to deal with the possibility of losing him very early on... and that experience has coloured our whole experience since then. Our grumbles about lack-of-sleep and dirty diapers tends to be short lived. Our thankfulness (and, unfortunately, concerns) tend to last much longer!
@yatria;
I'm certain I agree with you, but would love to hear more about your views, and how you interpret htis and carry this out.
Because our circumstances are not typical, we've had to throw out the book and be really creative about a lot of things... and embrace the idea that our goal is for our son to reach his fullest potential and achieve his dreams - not ours. I'm grateful for that.
[/i]
falconfx
Although I'm still not married (I'm quite young), I always dream to have a beautiful daughter.

IMHO, girls are much more tender than boys. This doesn't mean I won't like a male child.

I hope I will get married soon!
Vrythramax
falconfx wrote:
Although I'm still not married (I'm quite young), I always dream to have a beautiful daughter.

IMHO, girls are much more tender than boys. This doesn't mean I won't like a male child.

I hope I will get married soon!


True, girls are a bit more sensative then boys so extra care must be shown when dealing with them and when playing with them of course...BUT...they are just as much of a handfull! Trust me on this one Wink
izcool
It's interesting to read different parents talking about this subject.

I'm only 16, I don't have any kids yet (I plan on having some when I meet the right lady, get settled down and all), so this is from my point of view.

I think life is exciting, precious, and should be taken advantage of to it's fullest. Don't end it sooner than its' intended to be. I've talked several of my friends out of suicide for stupid things. I even thought about it once, and thought that would have been the worst way to die. Killing yourself on purpose because things aren't exactly going the way you want them to. Rolling Eyes

One of my co-workers says that he's "not a people person" and hasn't really gone on any dates, and hasn't really been involved with courting (technical word - Google it if you don't know what it means Very Happy). He turned 30 a few months ago and I think he's going to be in trouble if he doesn't do anything soon.

My dad and I talk about this a lot, on about me having kids. In fact, it was in our discussion on when I was coming home from work with him this afternoon (he got my foot in the door working where he works). He said that parents aren't there to abuse their children, they're there to help them. For instance, with the movie Christine (I mentioned this which started the topic), the nerdy kids parents (I forget character names right now on this movie) won't let him have a car in the driveway because it "makes the yard cluttered". At my house, we have 4 cars in the driveway that are literally stuffed so that they fit. One of them is my dad's in which he's lending me to use. All that I do is keep it nice, clean, and put gas into it. Everything's been fine with that car since I got it this last June. There's only a few minor door dings in it from being in parking lots, that's all that I've done. He was saying that with his parents, his dad never gave him a car to start with, like how he did with me. He started on his own car and wanted to do better with me than what they had done with him. He mentions to me many times that "Parents always want their kids to do better than how they were doing when they were young". I appreciate that he's doing much for me.

My mom and my dad got divorced around 10 years ago when I was really young. It was a huge stab into my life, and still affects me today. My dad would always call my mom "ex-wife", and I put my foot down on him a few years ago saying that I take that as an insult, putting my mother down like that, making it similar to an ex-girlfriend. Now he's changed his wording when he talks to people to something more like "we split" and "his mother", instead of "my ex-wife". The word "ex-wife" is such of an insult to me.

My dad says that it took him several times with my mom to me going. My dad was worried about whether if he was infected or something where it wouldn't go. My dad was floored when my mom was pregnant, and then repeated it again about a year later with my younger sister. They wanted me to have a sibling to play with, to relate with, and to not be alone. She turned out the same way.

In this reply of mine, I've talked about my dad a lot. I live with my mother and my step-dad, and visit my dad and my step-mom on the weekends. My mother is nice, she does things for me, but my dad does a lot more for me, probably because I don't see him everyday.

I didn't exactly intend on making this reply this long, but this explains my situation and what I can contribute to this topic. If you've made it this far, congratulations. Very Happy

<Proud son gets off of his soapbox>.

- Mike.
Vrythramax
@izcool

Do yourself a huge favor and don't rush into having children until you are really up for the commitment they require. I can't begin to list the benefits of children, but as I am sure you can see from some of the posts here and the people in your life, they can be tremendous. They can be a handful and at the same time they can be the best thing that'll ever happen to you. Enjoy your youth, there is plenty of time for a family later on if you choose to have one.

Peace.

BTW...the kids name in Christine was Arnie Wink
izcool
Vrythramax wrote:
@izcool

Do yourself a huge favor and don't rush into having children until you are really up for the commitment they require. I can't begin to list the benefits of children, but as I am sure you can see from some of the posts here and the people in your life, they can be tremendous. They can be a handful and at the same time they can be the best thing that'll ever happen to you. Enjoy your youth, there is plenty of time for a family later on if you choose to have one.

Peace.

BTW...the kids name in Christine was Arnie Wink


Thank you for clarifying that. You should exactly know what I was referring to about that movie, as I'm assuming that you must have seen it. Wink I can understand that having children is a huge task, and I'm not exactly ready to do so for many years. I see myself doing that someday, but not any time soon. It will take me awhile before I'm fully prepared to take on a huge task anyways.

- Mike.
alltalk
I have no childen, i an still a childen...
So, nothing to say~
yisou
oh,till now i do not have any girl friend
and have no children
riv_
@izcool;
i think it's great to hear you acknowledging how precious life is.
Being a parent is such a blessing... and such a huge responsibility! It is heartbreaking to see people rushing into it, before they're ready, and then resenting their kids. Or not being able to give them the opportunities they need, because they're still working out their own issues.
I really adminre you for figuring this out now. And for realizing what an honourable thing it is to be a good parent.
Your parents are blessed to have you!
yule
Jack_Hammer wrote:
I don't have any children (Non that I know of anyway Wink ) and I don't think that I want any and there is little point of even thinking about having children to about my early thirties.


Like this is not good? Not has an old saying "the life in the world, unfilial is three, has no children for is big"?
the_mariska
I'm shocked that there are so many people adoring their children. It's not quite common cause people usually get bored or dissatisfied with them and start treating them really badly. I love every little child, but I'm always afraid that in the future I'll repeat the mistakes of my father. He's not an ideal parent, I must say. Well, I have some time to think of it (as I'm only 18 ), but I believe I'll be able to sincerely love my children, no matter how they behave and whether they fulfill my expectations.
riv_
@mariska;
I was really scared of that too. My childhood was not exactly peachy, and I was convinced that children were a terrible inconvenience (because that's how I was treated.)
I thought it must be next-to-impossible not to abuse your kids, and was really nervous about having my own.
That's why I waited until i was -ahem- old enough Wink
And that's why I can't stop going on about how great it is!
I hear people complain about their kids all the time, and my parents found it so difficult, that, well- they didn't always feel good about being parents.
And I'm surprised to find that I'm loving it. The sacrifices of giving up your time, and having to stay in at night, and not getting enough sleep, and changing diapers... no big deal for me.
But, like I said earlier, I'm sure a lot of that was put into perspective for me when we almost lost our son.
Anyways, it is hard work, and no-one should rush into being a parent.
But I think people who are parents would benefit from focussing on the joys of watching their children grow, rather than on the incoveniences of having to make some sacrifices.
VidE
I had no kids, but ended up helping raise 2 granddaughters. I'm glad my wife could handle a lot of it, but I've take on a lot too, and really enjoyed it. The grandaughters are great, and yes, they opened up my heart in unexpected ways. And it is a scary world they are headed into.
silliman
Isnt it strange that no of us as parents have ever had any formal training on how to be a good parent, so we fall back on modeling the very two people we rebelled against when we were adolescence our own parents! I swore I would never be like them. Ha ha ha Oh well, in truth, there are lots of good parenting skills that are past down from generation to generation, and a sprinkling of bad practice too.

I thought I was such a clever parent when I allowed my daughter to suck her pacifier rather than her thumb. Well, we nearly got buck teeth from sucking the pacifier all day long. Duh!

Second child comes along. Oh, we wont make that mistake again. No no no pacifier for my son. We let him drink his juice bottle all the time. No buck teeth on my boy just rotting teeth. At 1 years old, the dentist had to strap his entire body into a straight jacket and yank and twist out his rotting front teeth.

I know hes going to hate me for that.

Moral of the story: Let the kid suck its thumb!
Vrythramax
My father was a real piece of work like others in this thread, so when my wife was pregnant I figured that if I just did the exact opposite of my father things would be just fine. To date everything is going smooth, people (more importantly my wife) tell me I am a good father...and my daughter loves me.

I can't ask for anything more, with the exception of my child's continued health.
riv_
@Vrythramax,
Health, Rolling Eyes , well, we can't have it all! (sorry, just a little wishful thinking!)
But seriously, good point.
I think it's different for everyone. I think there's often a pattern that's passed on from generation to generation, like silliman said- but if I didn't believe the cycle could be broken, I'd have had my tubes tied before ever having had kids!
Sure, we're a lot like our parents in some ways. But I have to believe we've learned from them - from the things they got right and certainly from their mistakes.
DarthSilus
Wow, can you say stalker, or just plain sick?

No offense, but "It felt good, tell me about YOUR children too... muwah ha, *drooling*." LOL

I have no kids, like no kids, and probably never want kids except for the purpose of siring an heir.

They just seem annoying to me. One more headache. But, than again, I have enough trouble with women, let alone having a child with one that doesn't want to control me. I like being my own person way to much.

But, forgive me for rambling on. Let's hear about how your child spewed in you mouth when you held it up in the air after a half-hour of "airplane."

(Sorry people, I'm in a bad mood right now.)
Vrythramax
@riv_

I guess I have to admit my father did teach me something after all Confused

In this respect I certainly did learn from my parents, it's just a shame that all I have to gleen from my father was how to be a good parent by doing everything he never did...and avoiding everything he did do. I suppose I shouldn't complain, I have at least that much from him, some people don't walk away with anything so valuable from thier parents.

Funny how life turns out huh?
Sizzle
Yea I have a child, only one that I know about Wink, but the real question is:

Do I look like Kathy Lee Gifford????



Best regards,
Sizzle
nastik81
@DarthSilus

I think you are just saying that because you don't have any children. I have a one year old boy and I find it very amusing just to watch him do new things, make new faces, he changes every week.

Before I had him I did'n really like chilren either, they seemed annoying to me, even now its not my favorite thing to play with someone elses kids. Although now its more interesting to see how other kids the same age behave compared to mine Smile

I am sure you'll change your mind once you have your own baby, maybe you'll still be annoyed by others, but you'll love yours for sure Wink
Sakaki
my son will be 2 months old this weekend and he is definitely th best thing that has happened to me..
its amazing to watch them grow and learn new things.. the first time he smiled my heart stopped and i understood how little important i am next to him.. we get caught up in so many petty little things, a child really gives you a better perspective on life,,,...

i'm currently 21, studying at uni and unmarried (for now) and i cant stop thinking that this is the best thing thats happened to me..

>A son actually gives your life meaning and a good reason to be here..



-Sakaki.
Trapper
One of my co-workers claimed he was never going to have children. I, at the time had 2 children (now 4 going on five) and asked him, why? He said he loved his personal life too much. He said, Im selfish. I love my vacations, my hunting, fishing and general freedom of not having kids entirely too much. Ill never have kids. I told him, I disagreed with his take on it and that hes a great guy and would be an awesome father. I told him fishing with your son or daughter would be 10 times better or rewarding than fishing alone and still better than fishing with a buddy. I told him vacations would be longer lasting memories and most of all, what is the purpose of life if you are only living it for self fulfillment. He didnt necessarily disagree, but said, I will not be having kids. My wife would like one or two, but its not going to happen.

Well, low and behold, two years later they had a boy. Ive never seen such a transformation from a self centered selfish person (not in a way that effected others) to a person that had a new outlook on the meaning of life. Now, he looks at his work as more meaningful because it helps provide for his son and its not simply a means to get another nice vacation or buy a new gun. They spoil this kid, but hes also made them more humble. To make the story even more amazing, they now have a daughter too. They have gone from a free living, high flying couple to one that is more grounded. They now attend church regularly and seem to have a more fulfilled life.

He admits that children are a lot of work, but also admits its worth it. This has been fun to witness. Obviously, I love children (coming from a family of 7 kids) and my wife loves children (coming from a family of 14 kidsyes all the same mother and father). We have two boys and two girls, plus one more on the way. My wife is a saint for taking care of the kids while Im at work, but our kids bring us way more joy than a new car, or a fancy vacation could bring. Some other time, Ill share the challenges of disciplining children and other challenges such as potty training, etc.

Anyway, I wanted to share this story of a co-worker that was no way going to ever have children to now being one of the proudest parents ever. What a thrill.
Trapper
Oh, the joys and sorrows of having children. First the sorrows:

Crying in the middle of the night
Getting sick (puking)
Traveling with kids on airplanes or long car rides
Dirty diapers
Cutting holes in your drapes
Fighting amongst each other
Potty training and many accidents after the fact
Spray painting their baby sisters hair
Pouring ink on the carpet
Breakfast, lunch and dinner mess
Giving their siblings haircuts
Being disruptive at the grocery store, church, home center, drug store, etc.

The joys definitely make up for the sorrows. Here are some of the joys:
Sleeping soundly after a long day
Wanting and needing a hug when sad
Learning to talk
Learning to walk
Getting potty trained
Learning the alphabet
Learning to read
Fishing, hunting or camping with them
Traveling with them
Spending time at the cabin or beach with them
Going to the zoo with them
Playing football, hockey and baseball with them
Going to the build-a-bear store with the girls
Watching a movie with them
Watching them play and use their imaginations on their own
Receiving unsolicited drawings and notes from them before I head on a business trip
Talking to them on the phone when Im traveling
Learning to ride a bike.
Learning to skate
Going for bike rides
Having your child get the mail or paper for you
Helping them when they are hurt or sad
Watching their sheer joy of facing life
Comforting them during a storm
Saying prayers with them every night

Ive missed thousands of other joys, but these are the ones that come to mind right now. Ive also missed some sorrows too. Thank fully the mind does not seem to remember the sorrows as much as the joys.
kawayijiajia
i am a teenage, i don't have any child, and my mom always call me big baby.
but i know when i was a kid, i always got sick, mom said she loves me a lot and afraid to loss me, love you, mom!
byt
father to 5, Christopher almost 16, James 14, Nick 12, Chantelle 10 and Toni almost 7

how I ain't murdered the lot of em I don't know, trust me they get more trouble as they get older, looking forward to them all leaving home Very Happy
Phil
I was 18 when I found out was to be a father, my **girlfriend** was only 17. Now I'm about to turn 40 and my son is signing up for the service.
I think about how difficult those years where. Be a young parent, the baby crying and crying and crying and you not having a clue how to stop it. The constant getting up in thge middle of the night. The first time he sleeps almost half the night ( both me and my wife jumped out or bed at about 4 in the morning thinking something was the matter).
The one thing that comes to mind as I hear all these people who claim they hate kids and would never them is after you have them, and take the responsibility for them, is you will do anything for them. No cost is too great. Cost- we never had money, but we always managed things for out kids (we have 4 now).
One more thing.......Parents...............
doesn't it just irk the living bageebees out of you when people with no kids...but they *****A DOG****** or some other pet, claim it's just like having a human baby??
Winterborne
I have no children yet, but I am currently 22 weeks pregnant with my first. It's a very nervouse yet exciting time for me. We found out two days ago that it's going to be a boy! I was stunned actually. It's what I wanted, but everyone in the world was telling me (except for 3 people) that it was gonna be a girl. The odd's were against me as well, as my husband has two sisters. We are currently living with my mom who is disabled, and have been married for a little less than two years. She sis REALLY excited as this will be her first grandbaby. She swears she's going to spoil it.

So we've picked out a name for the boy. London Avery. Who is expected to arrive on August 8th. Within the two weeks before and after, there are several dates, like our anniversary, mom's birthday, my husband's birthday, etc. So we're hoping it doesn't come on any of those dates. ^^
vediban
i don't have children but i want to have one. But i have to wait because of my univercity. Shocked Very Happy Very Happy
riv_
@Winterborne-
Get ready for a wild ride! I'm still pretty new at this parenting thing, but I can tell you already, your kids are guarnteed to bring surprises and rearrange your plans!
It's worth it though, and it all seems to work out! That's what amazes me most, is how things seem to all work out.
Grandma's are funny aren't they? My son is also the ONLY grandchild on tmy side of the family and my mom is absolutely out of control with excitement.


We've had a few people with very large families posting. I have a few friends with many children, and I've always wondered how they do it. What's the hardest thing about having a lot of children? WHat's the best? What was the easiest number? The hardest?
It looks like having more children won't be in the future for my husband and I, but we wouldn't mind adopting a few, (but it'll be a while because it's SO expensive in my province Crying or Very sad ) so we'd really like to know about other families' experiences with lot sof children.
Vrythramax
riv_ wrote:
We've had a few people with very large families posting. I have a few friends with many children, and I've always wondered how they do it.


hi riv_

I am the youngest of 8 (4 sisters, 3 brothers), and I honestly don't know how my mum kept her sanity...we were not the best behaved kids on the block. She's enjoying life now by spoiling all her grandchildren and driving us all bonkers...I think she's finally getting even. d'oh!
riv_
Quote:
She's enjoying life now by spoiling all her grandchildren and driving us all bonkers...I think she's finally getting even. d'oh!

Well, ditto on my mom. Except I'm an only child - how do I explain that one?

But seriously, having grown up in a large family, do you desire a large family yourself... or is it more of a "good riddance" scenario?
Vrythramax
riv_ wrote:
Well, ditto on my mom. Except I'm an only child - how do I explain that one?


Possibly you were an exceptional brat? (snicker...j/k of course)

Quote:
But seriously, having grown up in a large family, do you desire a large family yourself... or is it more of a "good riddance" scenario?


To be honest, and I'm not sure my wife would agree, I wouldn't mind having a large family...as long as I was able to provide for them all. In this day and age that isn't exactly the easiest thing to accomplish. Growing up with many siblings older than myself had it's trying moments to be sure, but all-in-all I wouldn't have traded it off for anything. My brothers and sisters and I have a great relationship to this day, and having them has helped me in many ways.
LMSdesign
I have had 5 children, I say had, becouse the first boy was given up for adoption, I was very young so it was the best for everyone. Next boy just turned 18 last year, third boy is 15, fourth and fifth will be 4 in July, yes, twins, one boy and one girl. I finally got my girl! I had to edure the torchers of IVF for them but it was sooooo worth it. No matter if you have one or 50, you love the first just much at the 50th. I can attest to having children young and having them in your 30's, I was more prepared in my 30s and would recommend to anyone to wait till late 20's or early 30s. After all 30 is the new 20! Great thread.

LMS
izimngcubes15
I'd like children someday....just not today lol. Wink
Vrythramax
@LMSdesign...

I didn't have my daughter (well actually my wife had) until I was in my late 30's, and she wasn't planned (please don't tell her that), but it turned out that I was more than ready and up for the challenge. As you can probobly tell from some of my posts in this thread I love that little girl beyond words. My wife is in her 30's and this was her first child, but she never really complained to me during the pregnancy...apart from what I can only assume is the normal aches, pains, sickness, and all the other party favors that come with pregnancy. She was (is) an exceptional woman, especially during the pregnancy...the way she handled herself through the whole thing really made me feel more than just a little inadequate (spelling??).

My point is this...I just don't know how you women can do it even once [have children], let alone multiple times. My mother told me once that it is a pain that is easy to forget, but I don't know. The whole thing changed me, and I for one won't ever forget...and I'll always be grateful.

This is a great thread isn't it? Thank you riv_ Very Happy
Mark999111
meh, i hate kids
LMSdesign
You mother was correct, the pain is quickly forgotten, the excact moment you look at your child, all pain, morning sickness, back ackes and inability to get comfortable, are all forgotten, forever.

I had my first three naturally, no drugs or blocks and as hard as I try I can not remember any pain. My last two ( twins) were via C-section and I was very unhappy I could not deliver naturally( my daughter would not drop and they were afraid of having to go in after her without a spinal block ( small hospital) my labor was not progressing normally due to over exstention of my uterus ( sorry if that was TMI ) Both babies were to term and 6+ pounds.

The pains of child birth are just the first small tastes of what a mother will endure for her child, I do wish that the fathers of the world could know what it is like, just for a moment.

LMS
Vrythramax
Shocked gee LMSdesign, pain is something I can do without thank you...I know it's not much consolation to what my wife endured, but I was with her thick and thin throughout her pregnancy...as I am to this day. I, as a man, can never truly understand what a woman goes through, but I am honestly sympathetic to my wife's condition at all times...it's the very least I can do considering all that she has done for me. To give you an idea of the kind of person my wife is, she has a Doctorate from MIT in Applied Computer Sciences, and she just wants to be a stay-at-home Mom.
Trapper
Anyone have any great tips on potty training? Our almost 3 year old is showing no interest. We've tried sitting her down regularly, getting new underwear ready for when she's ready, etc. Nothing we do seems to work. Our first two were 4 years old when they finally started going on their own. The third one we didn't do any incentives and she was the earliest at 3 1/2. I hope our 4th doesn't wait even that long.

We'd appreciate any good tips out there.

Thanks.
sketteksalfa
I remember one in CNN, showing a "Dad on Strike", and this dad was complaining about their baby sleeping on the same room where the parents are. Their baby has his own crib though, but this Dad sleeps on their rooftop instead inside the tent. Then he put a big banner where "Dad on strike" is written. I wonder how weird people are nowadays. Are they just attention deficient?
riv_
@vythrymax,
Well, I was unconcious when my son was born; under general for a C-section. But my husband and I both went through a lot of pain when the baby was so sick and in the hospital for so long...
Hearing you speak of your wife's strength through pregnancy and childbirth is really touching, and hits close to home. Watching my husband rise to the occasion with strength, compassion, dignity... caused me to see him in a whole new light.
I think that daddies carry a heavy load through pregnancy and childbirth too. THe way they choose to shoulder that burden leaves a lasting impression on their wives as well!
Tyler
My baby boy, Josef, is absolutely ADORABLE!! He just turned 2 months old the other day! He has the most enchanting blue eyes, just like my wife. He even shares some musical appreciation with me. (Beethoven is one of his favorites, as he wiggles and jiggles). He's a real joy, and those you who are frictiony about having kids, SHAME ON YOU!




~Tyler
chizeled
I love all four of my kids more than anything. It is interesting and funny to watch and see them grow. I have a 6 almost 7 year old, a five year old and twins who are three. They are fun and it is the best feeling to home and be tackled with hugs. Just last week my three old son said he had a tummy ache, so he got a band-aid and put over his tummy. Funny and cute. They all make me laugh all day. And they are good kids, love them a lot.
internetjobs
my child is very cute and handsome, i like he very much and i love him very much,

his name is tallen...
skygaia
Oh.. your post reminds me of my son...
I have a son who is 2 and half years old. now my wife and son are traveling to my country. So I have to live lonely for a while.

Even though my is far away from here (it takes to get there almost 20 hours by a plane), I can see him every day through internet....

Technology often makes me happy.. ^^

Anyway, before my son leaved, I thought I could get my own times.
you know a father has a lot of things for his children.. ^^
But after he's gone, I have been missing him all time..

they are going to back 2 months later. it might be hard time for me.
conicon
I do not want to have kids ever, at least my own. What I mean by this is that I do not want to conceive a child in vain. I say in vain because we are supposed to be making this world a better place and we have children so that we can give this world, that we've made better, to them so they can enjoy it. But do you really think that we've made this world a better place? Not me.
ladyrobina
Having children can be a joy or a nightmare, mainly depending on how they are raised. It is a big job teaching them right from wrong and how to behave, but it has to be done from when they are babies, otherwise they will trash your house and tell you what to do by the time they are 2 or 3. If both Mother and Father do not have the same behavioural expectations then all is lost. A united front should be the first rule of parenthood.
secretdreams
Oh i love my kids , always tire me out though , dont know how they can run around that much!!! they have to much energy
dz9c
This topic is too long so Im not reading it. All i gotta say is dont have babies
SpacetoBleed
I don't have children but as young adult it's something I look forward to. However, i think that having children in todays western world is becoming increasingly more complicated, expensive and a bit industrial. I hope that when i'm ready, there will be options in my own lifestyle that will allow me to have enough time and money (etc.) to provide a good upbringing for that little puke. It's a tough job, and we spend less and less time raising our youth.
keijolus
i don't have children neither, but thats probably cause im only 18 years old. Smile
oneightwo
i'm fourteen, so i don't have kids, but - oddly - i actually am looking forward to (hopefully) being a father. I think it would be nice to have someone special to look after. i can't realy explain it, but it's something i realy want todo. i'm not even sure if that post made sense, but oh well. Very Happy Cool
frozenhead
Yeah, me too! I'm 23 but still looking forward to have children (at least 2, a boy and a girl?).


But wait?


I have no girlfriend? (busy at work) though. Lol. Well, a have seen my elder sisters how'd they raised they kids and it's really hard though it's really nice having little one around. Wink
roee
my wife and i have 2 childrens..
the bigger is 4 years old who is name Ryran and the second his 1.5 years old who is name Jhone..
they are so lovely and i love them so much........

i will upload pictures of them later.
Vrythramax
To all the users who do want children eventually, all I can say is take your time. Your life is going to change drastically...for me it changed for the better. Unfortunatly people who rush into having kids "sometimes" do it for the wrong reasons, and the children may suffer as a result.

Take your time, enjoy life...and have kids when your prepared for the responsibilty that comes with a little life. Smile
indianinworld
Though iam not a married guy, i always love kids.
Kids are like God with unpolluted - uncorrupted mind. The way inwhich they speak, they sleep, they play and everything they do - I just love them. I wish i will get married soon, so that i can have kids - If not many, atleast 2 Laughing.

And also i wish all the guys who have got married.

Happy Parenting !!!


------
Regards
Sathish Balasundaram
Visit me at http://sathish.frih.net
Vrythramax
Children are so wonderful! You teach them all those things you don't want learned. They are such a wonderful learing experience that I can't simple put into words.

You want the best for them, you try to teach them not to make your own mistakes.


It's just incredible!!

Granted they won't listen to you, but you try nontheless!

It's a god given experience, and you should treat it as such.

Proud Father getting off his soapbox.
fufu1983
What I find amazing, and very disturbing, is the way some people treat thier children. I mean, here you have this little kid who can't fend for themselves and they are treated in ways no adult would want to be treated.
izcool
fufu1983 wrote:
What I find amazing, and very disturbing, is the way some people treat thier children. I mean, here you have this little kid who can't fend for themselves and they are treated in ways no adult would want to be treated.


Now that you've mentioned that, if you've never read "A Child Called It" by Dave Pelzer, it's a book that I HIGHLY recommend reading. It's based on his true life on what he was treated like when he was a young kid. It was the most gripping book that I've ever read, and I finished that in one night. That's the first time in my life where I bought a book and never put it down once. Very moving stuff, because I cried a few times on how badly he was being treated by his mother.

There are 2 sequels to that book (the second is "The Lost Boy", which I've read and is very good also, I've read that one in like 2 days, putting it down once), and a third named "A Man Named Dave", which I bought but haven't read yet.

I'm sure several people reading read one of those books, and will praise it also.

- Mike.
Vrythramax
The way people treat thier children is just ****obscene.!!! I lovw my daughter as has been shown in this thread....I just can't imagine hurting her in any way! She is my life and my love. Yes I sometimes agruegure (sp??) with my wife, but that's part of life living together as one.

But hurt my baby....I would murder to prevent that.

@rv_ my we talk in PM? I feel you have much to offer me.
immoralist
I'm a fairly recent entrant to parenthood having resisted for many years. I'vegot an 18 month daughter called Ruby who is delightful.

On the upside the whole parent thing is as good as other posters have said. You have to be there to understand the intensity of the experience which is nothing like what I expected when I set out on this particular journey.

On the downside you can forget any 'me' time. There is a person who utterly depends on you and always takes priority. You run on that person's agenda and timetable.

I'm very happy, but very tired.
Jage
My wife and I have a boy called Sam, who's just turned 6. The last six years have been the hardest thing I've ever done, but every second of it is worth it. He`s learning so much in school now, and every day he has something new to talk about. It`s scary how quick they grow up though, keep them as young as you can for as long as you can.
opsdaddy
After a long career of military service, and seeing the effects it had on our family, my wife and I decided to get out.

Now, it's as if we have a new lease on life, and I can FINALLY do the things with my family that I once had to put off. I have 2 sons, 12 and 8, and everyday I am thankful that they were flexible enough to handle what my former career put them through.

I feel Blessed...
Vrythramax
I did my service in the military, and went on to earn a post graduate degree (my wife is smarter than me), but non of these things effected our parenthood. We love our daughter like there's no tommorrow.

I think that if you honestly want a child, and your willing to sacrifice yourself for the sake of the child, then things will work out.

Granted nothings perfect, but love can rule all.
riv_
opsdaddy said:
Quote:
I feel Blessed...

If I could only have 3 words to sum up the experience of parenting, it would be those 3 words! Thank you for reminding me!
sour_lemon_1k
Children are despicable creatures who have nothing to do except sit there and squeal. They are constantly coverend in mud, dirt, and god knows what, soiling you're once-clean, just-febreezed lavender carpet with inpenetrable stains. All they ever care about is themselves, crying, "Toys! I want that one, mommy!" or "MINE!" in an high-pitched, shrilly voice, breaking the shields of silence in your otherwise pleasant home. They kick and talk to inanimate objects (which is natural for anyone because...?) that constantly block the path to your nice, burgundy bed, which you constantly wish to be in because of the chaos the child has erupted, DESTRUCTION! You find yourself looking at the mirror more than often now at your bags under your eyes and premature crinkles all around your once-unblemished skin. You wonder day-by-day what possibly could have motivated you to want these... Twisted Evil ...minds running around your life.

But, I can't talk. I've never had a child. Very Happy
sour_lemon_1k
Sizzle wrote:
Yea I have a child, only one that I know about Wink, but the real question is:

Do I look like Kathy Lee Gifford????



Best regards,
Sizzle


well, do you have a picture?
Vrythramax
sour_lemon_1k wrote:
Children are despicable creatures who have nothing to do except sit there and squeal. They are constantly coverend in mud, dirt, and god knows what, soiling you're once-clean, just-febreezed lavender carpet with inpenetrable stains. All they ever care about is themselves, crying, "Toys! I want that one, mommy!" or "MINE!" in an high-pitched, shrilly voice, breaking the shields of silence in your otherwise pleasant home. They kick and talk to inanimate objects (which is natural for anyone because...?) that constantly block the path to your nice, burgundy bed, which you constantly wish to be in because of the chaos the child has erupted, DESTRUCTION! You find yourself looking at the mirror more than often now at your bags under your eyes and premature crinkles all around your once-unblemished skin. You wonder day-by-day what possibly could have motivated you to want these... Twisted Evil ...minds running around your life.

But, I can't talk. I've never had a child. Very Happy


That's right...you can't talk (and your smiley is offensive to any parent)...get off your high horse, you have never had a child so you have no right to comment on the love you pass on to a child.

I'm happy you earned your points for your post.
izcool
sour_lemon_1k wrote:
Children are despicable creatures who have nothing to do except sit there and squeal. They are constantly coverend in mud, dirt, and god knows what, soiling you're once-clean, just-febreezed lavender carpet with inpenetrable stains. All they ever care about is themselves, crying, "Toys! I want that one, mommy!" or "MINE!" in an high-pitched, shrilly voice, breaking the shields of silence in your otherwise pleasant home. They kick and talk to inanimate objects (which is natural for anyone because...?) that constantly block the path to your nice, burgundy bed, which you constantly wish to be in because of the chaos the child has erupted, DESTRUCTION! You find yourself looking at the mirror more than often now at your bags under your eyes and premature crinkles all around your once-unblemished skin. You wonder day-by-day what possibly could have motivated you to want these... Twisted Evil ...minds running around your life.

But, I can't talk. I've never had a child. Very Happy


Well, the other week when I was at work, there was this one really cute little girl (I'm a cashier at a carwash in Chicago to clarify that up) who came in with her mother. She was carraying in the ticket (a menu that has a list of the things we offer, marked with a marker on what they got, then I ring up on the register to get the total) and handed it to me. I got the sale done and gave the girl a lollipop (we give them away if they ask or are look old enough), and the stick that I have to issue to every customer to show that they paid for the wash (They get collected back after their car is done). She squealed "OOH !! This is going to taste SOOOO good !!" and it was one of the cutest things I've ever heard. When they were waiting to get their car done, they were looking around in the store for a bit. The girl grabbed one of the sunglasses off of the rack and put them on, upside-down, then looked and gave a big smile at her mother. Her mom came up to her and said that she'll buy her a pair that fit her right after they leave. When they were leaving, the girl picked up a bottle of wax from the shelves and waved it up at her mom to look at. The mother replied, "That's for cars. If our cat needs it, then we'll buy it. Right now our car doesn't need it". And the girl said "Okay".

That was probably one of the greatest moments I've seen between mother and daughter. The daughter must have been only a few years old, but that's one thing to treasure in life is kids. Believe it or not, you were once a kid. Maybe you still are if you're saying such things about children. I dunno. Rolling Eyes

- Mike.
nurga
I dont have any children, but I always do love 'em. :)
Vrythramax
izcool wrote:
sour_lemon_1k wrote:
Children are despicable creatures who have nothing to do except sit there and squeal. They are constantly coverend in mud, dirt, and god knows what, soiling you're once-clean, just-febreezed lavender carpet with inpenetrable stains. All they ever care about is themselves, crying, "Toys! I want that one, mommy!" or "MINE!" in an high-pitched, shrilly voice, breaking the shields of silence in your otherwise pleasant home. They kick and talk to inanimate objects (which is natural for anyone because...?) that constantly block the path to your nice, burgundy bed, which you constantly wish to be in because of the chaos the child has erupted, DESTRUCTION! You find yourself looking at the mirror more than often now at your bags under your eyes and premature crinkles all around your once-unblemished skin. You wonder day-by-day what possibly could have motivated you to want these... Twisted Evil ...minds running around your life.

But, I can't talk. I've never had a child. Very Happy


Well, the other week when I was at work, there was this one really cute little girl (I'm a cashier at a carwash in Chicago to clarify that up) who came in with her mother. She was carraying in the ticket (a menu that has a list of the things we offer, marked with a marker on what they got, then I ring up on the register to get the total) and handed it to me. I got the sale done and gave the girl a lollipop (we give them away if they ask or are look old enough), and the stick that I have to issue to every customer to show that they paid for the wash (They get collected back after their car is done). She squealed "OOH !! This is going to taste SOOOO good !!" and it was one of the cutest things I've ever heard. When they were waiting to get their car done, they were looking around in the store for a bit. The girl grabbed one of the sunglasses off of the rack and put them on, upside-down, then looked and gave a big smile at her mother. Her mom came up to her and said that she'll buy her a pair that fit her right after they leave. When they were leaving, the girl picked up a bottle of wax from the shelves and waved it up at her mom to look at. The mother replied, "That's for cars. If our cat needs it, then we'll buy it. Right now our car doesn't need it". And the girl said "Okay".

That was probably one of the greatest moments I've seen between mother and daughter. The daughter must have been only a few years old, but that's one thing to treasure in life is kids. Believe it or not, you were once a kid. Maybe you still are if you're saying such things about children. I dunno. Rolling Eyes

- Mike.


Thank You Mike, your general attitude has re-established my faith in Human Nature....God Bless You and all your loved ones, And Happy Easter to you and all your loved ones. (Yeah it may seem redundant, but s bleesing can never come enough....so God Bless you and your Loved ones once again!!!!)

Flame me as you wish.
Vrythramax
@riv_

I wish you all the blessings that I as a human can offer. I honestly (sp?) hope you and your loved ones enjoy this holiday and are blessed and peacefull. Many happy wishes are upon you, you are in my prayers. May God shine upon you Smile

Max
Sufruix
im antonio im from portugal and my childwood was great
Sufruix
btw somebody knows how kan i create a forum to my site i really need to know
annacarlsson
I have two kids now, but i will have maybe 1 or 2 to. 4 is perfekt to boys and to girls, what you thing about to have 4 kids?
xboxobie
I had a daughter,

Sadly after bein gborn 3 months premature she only survived 5 hours.

Bu tthe little angel will forever be in my heart.
Vrythramax
xboxobie wrote:
I had a daughter,

Sadly after bein gborn 3 months premature she only survived 5 hours.

Bu tthe little angel will forever be in my heart.


My God....I can't feel your loss, I can only know what I would feel/go through if my child was lost....it would kill me, but be assured you have my total sympathies....it may sound contrite, but may God grant you another oppurtunity for a family.

My heart goes out to you.

Peace.

Max
hrtorrent
I have two year old son and my wife and me expects second son this days to be born. His name will be Ivor.
My son name is Jan, and here is Jan's blog. Here is Ivor's blog.

Wink
Vrythramax
hrtorrent wrote:
I have two year old son and my wife and me expects second son this days to be born. His name will be Ivor.
My son name is Jan, and here is Jan's blog. Here is Ivor's blog.


Wink


Congratulations on your upcoming birth! I tried to view both of your sons' blogs, but unfortunaly I only speak English and Gaelic....sorry, but I did try Smile
riv_
@xboxobie;
I'm so sorry for your loss.
My son was also born 15 weeks prematurely. We thank God for every day we get to spend with him, especially knowing how close we came to losing him.
We spent 4 months in the hospital and grew close to many families, several of whom lost their precious children.
I can't imagine how you carry such a burden. But I must say that I think it is beautiful that you continue to honour your daughter.
May you be bessed with strength and peace!
webapp
I am not married and I don't have any kids.....But it is an interesting topic to start with If i had a kid what would i do ,,,,,,

I would take him to Ball game....Take her to movies.....its always a fun to watch them grow..and one day they move out....
Vrythramax
In public and on record, I would like to personally Thank Riv_ for her advice and guidance.


May you know God's blessings and live a long, and happy life Riv_.

Thank You.
riv_
@Vrythramax;
You are very kind. I'm certain I was absolutely no help at all. But it was very nice talking with you. THank you.
Vrythramax
riv_ wrote:
@Vrythramax;
You are very kind. I'm certain I was absolutely no help at all. But it was very nice talking with you. THank you.



Riv_...you were more hlp than you know


Thank You.
hrtorrent
Vrythramax wrote:
hrtorrent wrote:
I have two year old son and my wife and me expects second son this days to be born. His name will be Ivor.
My son name is Jan, and here is Jan's blog. Here is Ivor's blog.


Wink


Congratulations on your upcoming birth! I tried to view both of your sons' blogs, but unfortunaly I only speak English and Gaelic....sorry, but I did try Smile


Sorry, blogs are on croatian language. We living so far away from my parents and other my relatives so this is the best way to keep them inform...
Sorry again, but there are pictures, at least...
Can you tell me how to wrote "Hello" and "Good by" at Gaelic?
Vrythramax
hrtorrent wrote:
Vrythramax wrote:
hrtorrent wrote:
I have two year old son and my wife and me expects second son this days to be born. His name will be Ivor.
My son name is Jan, and here is Jan's blog. Here is Ivor's blog.


Wink


Congratulations on your upcoming birth! I tried to view both of your sons' blogs, but unfortunaly I only speak English and Gaelic....sorry, but I did try Smile


Sorry, blogs are on croatian language. We living so far away from my parents and other my relatives so this is the best way to keep them inform...
Sorry again, but there are pictures, at least...
Can you tell me how to wrote "Hello" and "Good by" at Gaelic?


is this yor way to tell me to piss off, or do you really want the translations?
dannywebdesign
I have no kids either, but I'll tell ya this? ok?

Becareful of what words or anything you say to them, you'll be suprise of their results
Vrythramax
dannywebdesign wrote:
I have no kids either, but I'll tell ya this? ok?

Becareful of what words or anything you say to them, you'll be suprise of their results


Your [current] lack of children doesn't make you a bad person....not that you were in the first place. Kids are great, but they are also a great amount of work...and worry.

Please do not misunderstand me....I love my little girl and there is nothing I wouldn't do for her.
abhi
Surprised
they r d gift of gods Crying or Very sad
redsox
Isn't it interesting how we all turn out to become like our fathers? I find myself saying jokes and using inflections that are uniquely his...
Vrythramax
redsox wrote:
Isn't it interesting how we all turn out to become like our fathers? I find myself saying jokes and using inflections that are uniquely his...


What I find more amazing is how our parents can "push our buttons" and tick us off with a simple word or look. Maybe it is is because they installed "the buttons" in the first place?


Just something to ponder. Very Happy
vlnjodie
I don't have children (yet) but I have lots of little violin students. the youngest is 4 and the oldest is 15. Smile
bophamet
YEP I HAVE KIDS, THEY ARE ALL SCATTERED ACROSS THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE EARTH.
ONE OF MY FIRST KIDS WAS 20 POUNDS WHEN HE WAS BORN, HE IS STILL IN TRAINING AT THE MOMENT, BECAUSE HIS DREAM IS TO BE A SUMO WRESTLER.
EATS ABOUT 10 PIZZAS FOR LUNCH, THE ABOUT 30 BAGS OF CRIPS FOLLOW, THEN A LARGE TUB OF ICE CREAM, I THINK HIS TRAINING IS GOING WELL AND HE IS WELL ON THE WAY.
skygaia
I have a son. He is two and half years old now.
I really love my son. however,
he is traveling to my country with my wife.

I have lived for 3 weeks without my family. I'm so lonely
Of course, I'm missing my son. But I have to live alone more time.

They will be back 2 month later..

My son is little bit tall and smart. But he doesn't speak yet.
Maybe he is confused in two languages. I'm from Korea. but I'm in Canada now. so we used to speak in Korean at home but in English at outside.. ^^
atin
the_mariska wrote:
I'm shocked that there are so many people adoring their children.


Oh the folly of youth!
Are you really serously suggesting that you are shocked by parents who adore thier offspring?

This is patently absurd. Even Hitler's (and, no-doubt, your) mother thought he was just misunderstood!
Only parents on Jerry Springer do a reasonable impression of hating thier children!
statusfashions
well , i have just graduated and still single.
so i dont have any kids:)
Ultima1080
I can totally see why people love their kids, but holy crap I don't see why you would intentionally make one. I don't dig the whole "I'm helpless! Feed me! Oh shit, it's 2am, WAKE UP! I POOPED!!!!111". The sound of a crying child makes me cringe and essentially drives me to leave the room/house/city. Plus, when a kid gets to be around 4-7, they can be some of he loudest, most obnoxious little bastards that ever existed. Perfect example, I'm eating with my girlfriend at Outback Steakhouse last night (and yes, it was sooooooo good) and there were two of the most loud, annoying kids that I have ever had the displeasure of hearing in my life. One of them was saying, more like yelling, "Mommy!" every two seconds trying to get his moms attention for roughly 5 minutes. Then, comes the idiotic question: "Mommy, have you ever thrown up?!?!?!!" which was just as loud. After 20 minutes of this, the family finally left and I thought I'd have some peace and quiet. WRONG. Two of them leave, one more that had been quiet gets louder than the other two put together. I guess what I'm saying is children need a volume control. Or gags.

That's all for my rant Wink. I'm not dissing your kids by any means; I'm just saying I think you're all crazy for wanting them.
Vrythramax
Ultima1080 wrote:
I can totally see why people love their kids, but holy crap I don't see why you would intentionally make one. I don't dig the whole "I'm helpless! Feed me! Oh ****, it's 2am, WAKE UP! I POOPED!!!!111". The sound of a crying child makes me cringe and essentially drives me to leave the room/house/city. Plus, when a kid gets to be around 4-7, they can be some of he loudest, most obnoxious little bastards that ever existed. Perfect example, I'm eating with my girlfriend at Outback Steakhouse last night (and yes, it was sooooooo good) and there were two of the most loud, annoying kids that I have ever had the displeasure of hearing in my life. One of them was saying, more like yelling, "Mommy!" every two seconds trying to get his moms attention for roughly 5 minutes. Then, comes the idiotic question: "Mommy, have you ever thrown up?!?!?!!" which was just as loud. After 20 minutes of this, the family finally left and I thought I'd have some peace and quiet. WRONG. Two of them leave, one more that had been quiet gets louder than the other two put together. I guess what I'm saying is children need a volume control. Or gags.

That's all for my rant Wink. I'm not dissing your kids by any means; I'm just saying I think you're all crazy for wanting them.



*sigh*..wait until you have one of your own, all the stuff you mentioned just doesn't matter....instinct takes over Smile
bluffmango
i like babies verty much they r so pure n innocent.... good job makin this section ..........
Epistis
Hey all, I just wanted to tell SOMEONE about my baby.
I'm a new father (well, I have one other, but the mother did not put me on the birth certificate so I have no rights, and she says it's not mine. Ah well, baby mama drama.)

Anyway, this baby boy is due May 15...but her doctor said she was dilated to 2.5 today and she could pop anyday. Surprised

His name will be James R. F. [plus my last name]

Well..since he's not here yet I guess there's not much to tell. Maybe I'll post again when he gets here. Very Happy
Vrythramax
Epistis wrote:
Hey all, I just wanted to tell SOMEONE about my baby.
I'm a new father (well, I have one other, but the mother did not put me on the birth certificate so I have no rights, and she says it's not mine. Ah well, baby mama drama.)

Anyway, this baby boy is due May 15...but her doctor said she was dilated to 2.5 today and she could pop anyday. Surprised

His name will be James R. F. [plus my last name]

Well..since he's not here yet I guess there's not much to tell. Maybe I'll post again when he gets here. Very Happy


CONGRATS MY FRIEND!!!

Get ready for a wild and wonderful ride. Very Happy
Ultima1080
Quote:
*sigh*..wait until you have one of your own, all the stuff you mentioned just doesn't matter....instinct takes over Smile


I personally believe that babies are disgusting, helpless and annoying. I'm pretty sure my instinct is to stay away from things that exhibit those properties.[/quote]
Epistis
Vrythramax wrote:
Epistis wrote:
Hey all, I just wanted to tell SOMEONE about my baby.
I'm a new father (well, I have one other, but the mother did not put me on the birth certificate so I have no rights, and she says it's not mine. Ah well, baby mama drama.)

Anyway, this baby boy is due May 15...but her doctor said she was dilated to 2.5 today and she could pop anyday. Surprised

His name will be James R. F. [plus my last name]

Well..since he's not here yet I guess there's not much to tell. Maybe I'll post again when he gets here. Very Happy


CONGRATS MY FRIEND!!!

Get ready for a wild and wonderful ride. Very Happy


Thanks! Very Happy
Epistis
Quote:
I personally believe that babies are disgusting, helpless and annoying. I'm pretty sure my instinct is to stay away from things that exhibit those properties.


Of course they're disgusting, helpless, and annoying.
But you love them anyway! Rolling Eyes

I can guarantee that you were disgusting, helpless, and annoying at one point. (Maybe still? Razz) The babies are raised so that they become
clean,self-sufficient,and still annoying adults. Very Happy
Ultima1080
That's true. But if I could have a child that came out of the womb being 18 years old, I'd be a lot happier...though I don't think my wife/girlfriend would.
Vrythramax
Ultima1080 wrote:
That's true. But if I could have a child that came out of the womb being 18 years old, I'd be a lot happier...though I don't think my wife/girlfriend would.


umm from my wife's experience I don't think you really want to go there Sad
snowboardude
wow i can see everyones a bit older.... (im 14)

lol i think im closer to the "child" category than i am to the "parent" category.
nhuabo
yisou wrote:
oh,till now i do not have any girl friend
and have no children

Me too!
But I like child very much.
I will have my children ,I wait. Razz
Diddyman
I have 4 kids 3 boys and 1 girl. The oldest is a boy who is 17, he is bone idle, my daughter is almost 16 although she thinks she is about 30, and she is always right. My other 2 sons are 14 and 13. They are both complete nutters, not sure who they get that from Rolling Eyes
I am really looking forward to then growin up and leaving home, maybe my house will be tidy then, instead of the little monsters trashing it all the time. Ohh don't get me started Mad

I wouldn't be without them though.
riv_
My son's still just a toddler - so I'm not quite ready for him to move out yet. But I know what you mean about the mess (and the noise) Oh, to walk all the way across the room and not step on any cheerios, raisins, or mysterious unmentionable sticky things (sigh)
Vrythramax
riv_ wrote:
My son's still just a toddler - so I'm not quite ready for him to move out yet. But I know what you mean about the mess (and the noise) Oh, to walk all the way across the room and not step on any cheerios, raisins, or mysterious unmentionable sticky things (sigh)


I know what you mean! I walk across the floor and there are times when I am afraid to look at what I have just stepped on! Ever stepped on a half-eaten peanutbutter & jelly sandwich....let me tell you folks...it's scary.

Gawd I hope she never thinks of how to put one into the VCR Crying or Very sad
riv_
Quote:
Gawd I hope she never thinks of how to put one into the VCR Crying or Very sad

I have a theory that this is the true reason that floppy drives and VCRs have been replaced by the DVD! Razz
Vrythramax
riv_ wrote:
I have a theory that this is the true reason that floppy drives and VCRs have been replaced by the DVD! Razz


she's pretty bright that little one...she'll find a way to make it fit Sad
carbenson
WOW Children !
Wat a topic!!
After a certain age, (from a man's point of veiw) you gradually find that children are taking the proority in your life; not chasing women. I think its about the same time that your children start repeating what you've said, or acting out your actions, and that accountability is now become a living, breathing version of your examples, and you suddenly begin to realize that stuff you do really does matter!!
Carbenson
S3nd K3ys
carbenson wrote:
...I think its about the same time that your children start repeating what you've said, or acting out your actions, and that accountability is now become a living, breathing version of your examples, and you suddenly begin to realize that stuff you do really does matter!!
Carbenson


Wow. Shocked


Very nicely put! Applause
carbenson
Yeah, I thinks its the fear that that mirror instills in you, kind of like the feeling when you first try to drive a car.
carbenson
raaeft1
I really love my teenager daughter, Aditi, despite her tantrums and her frequent quarrelling with me on petty things. The best thing is that she sulks for some time and then we make up spontaneously as if nothing has happened.
In fact I always protect her when my wife virtually'' harrasses'' and ``scolds'' her all the time day in and day out even though it's her hols now.
Aditi recently underwent a traumatic experience.She appeared for her Class X Board exams in India in March. She was expecting around 95 per cent marks in English as she has always been getting highest marks in English in her school tests but she was shocked to get only 78 out of 100. Her overall percentage has declined to 84.2 per cent.Instead of expressing sympathy with her or comforting her, my wife has been constantly nagging her and at one stage Aditi wanted to commit suicide.I have been comforting her and assuring her that she should not worry about her admission to Sacred Heart School even if her marks do not get increased in verification process for which we have applied. I am telling her not to worry.
My wife's constant grouse is that Aditi is useless as she does not help her in household chores. However, I strongly defend my daughter as she also needs space and if treated properly, she can do much more than when being taunted day in and day out.
Vrythramax
raaeft1 wrote:
However, I strongly defend my daughter as she also needs space and if treated properly, she can do much more than when being taunted day in and day out.


My friend, I do not know what culture you hail from, but quarrelling with your daughter does not have to be a bad thing. It will teach her to be strong and voice her opinions, and if need be fight for herself.

I can't say I understand your wife's position, I can only speak if it were me....I would put my foot down and tell her to leave off the child. I apologize if I have offended anyone here....but I could not stand by and let my little girl want to hurt herself because others don't think she measures up to standards.

Please forgive my thoughts.
gvit
i don't have a child, but my brother has an 18 month old girl. Every time I visit it seems she's grown, both in height, and her vocabulary! She's so sweet and wants nothing more than for me to either sing her songs or chase her around. Anyway, it's definitely important for an aunt to arm herself with huge amounts of children's songs with matching hand motions, you wouldn't believe how entertaining it is for the kids! (it will even pull them away from watching Noggin on tv!)
38club
I din't have any children... maybe wait for three years again
Vrythramax
All reason for talking about my child has been taken from me....I wish you all the best of luck.
Praes
I have two sons.
one is 2 1/2 and the other 8 months.
My sons are my life. I work, eat, sleep for them.
I'll wake up in the middle of the night just to watch them rest.

I've always wanted to be a father, even when i was 16. I'm glad i waited till i was 25, but looking back i wish i would have waited another year.

DON'T GET ME WRONG.....I love my sons. If i had a chance to do it again, i would, IN A HEARTBEAT!!!!

I've matured a lot since the birth of my first son, made a lot of sacrifices.
Be ready to do both when you think of kids.

It takes two parents to raise one child...

The other day while eating breakfast. My son farts, looks at me and mom, then proudly, loudly, exclaims. "Daddy I Farted!" .....
Gotta love those kids!
mommyapril
I have two beautiful children. I have a boy and a girl. My son just turned four and he starting T-ball on Monday!!! Yay!! And my daughter is 6 months. She is so beautiful. Very Happy
lors
I have 3 beautiful daughters, one is getting married next week, the middle one is leaving for college in another month and my baby is in high school. It's a good thing I had them young or I'd be feeling old about now Wink
riv_
Praes wrote:


The other day while eating breakfast. My son farts, looks at me and mom, then proudly, loudly, exclaims. "Daddy I Farted!" .....
Gotta love those kids!


That's great! My son (turns 2 this month) is worse yet. Last night at the dinner table he let out a tremendous fart. We're teaching him to say "'scuse me" (so cute) so we asked him if he farted.
He grinned the biggest grin, shook his head and said, pointing, "No, Daddy fart." Then proceeded to list everyone he could think of to blame the fart on.
So much for excuse me.Rolling Eyes
Whoever said kids were born good obviously never had a 2-year-old! Very Happy
Too much fun!
raaeft1
I really love my teenager daughter Aditi. I love her tantrums too and the frequent sparring matches she has with me day in and day out.But I understand her and she understands me and that is what gives value to the relationship.
I can understand and feel the pains and pangs experienced by her in growing up into adulthood. I can sympathise with her and only encourage her to go ahead and strive despite the setbacks that have come in her educational career and her perception that she cannot make friends and that she is a `loner.'
And I understand her blow-hot-blow-cold traumatic relationship with my wife who is ``hyper'' and unpredictable most of the time.
jemmae
We cant get enough of our littlies... Jay is 4 and a half, goes to kindy and the only thing he suffers from is PERFECT CHILD syndrome... he honestly is the best kid who says the best things has the most impeccable manners and is frequently called 'the best boy in town' by neighbours. Sure he has his moments but i think i'd be more worried if he didn't. Chloe is 2 and a quarter and is just gorgeous. She is so different to her big brother and has a bit of spunk about her and is full of love.. I find it hard not to compare her to Jay which i know is not fair but it is so hard not to do... I undoubtedly love her equally - she is my princess and she certainly adds a bit of action to our days - wouldn't have it any other way x x
Vandalyzed
Interesting responses to the topic.

I have two boys 9 and 5. My 5 yr old (about to be 6) is not mine, thus the reason for my divorce. Although, since the biological father was demanding an abortion, I basically pulled Michigan law on him and claimed the child as my own.

Which, to MY surprise, was probably one of the best decisions I've ever made. Devon is turning out to be a daddy's boy. lol

Both my kids are great. I want to be the best father I can, but at the same time I'm trying to build/rebuild my life after the divorce. And 5 years later, I still feel like I haven't found my niche.

That isn't to say I'm not doing well, but I'm finding that the things I want are making me choose between my life and staying in a place I dont want to be to keep my children happy.

I live in Michigan now (again), but since my divorce I've lived in New York (thru work) and most recently Texas. Both times I found myself happier there. And both times my ex wife has used the kids to remove that happiness and bring about the need to decide whether I was being selfish or not, whether I cared about my kids or not.

So, despite finally finding my "home", which many people never do in all their lives, I moved back to Michigan again. Even tho my custody decree is setup for me living out of state, apparently my exwife doesn't feel the need to follow it. lol

Anyway, this post is not meant to be a downer, I only speak of it to make this point.

Kids are great. I've never regretted having kids. They make me feel young agian sometimes.......they make me feel smart.....they make me feel like a good person when they're happy with me.

But, kids also bring a new dimension to life, where decisions are harder, and responsibilities limit those decisions.

What's right and wrong is based on how the kids feel 90% of the time.

I think and hope that I've made good decisions that involve my kids. If not, then I try harder the next time I have to make a decision

The only thing I need when I'm feeling down or like I made a wrong choice is that feeling when my kids see me come walking thru the door and they run and jump on me yelling Dadddddddyyyyyyy!!!!
jipmerite
My daughter, who turns 10 months later this month, took her first steps last weekend. I now know what it means to say, she's the apple of my eye.
shizoo
for myself i do not have child neither children. But i understand how they feel, and i could kinda anwser whatever you have the question for them. How they act and stuff like that. But since this is not on the topic. I'm just saying i dont have children...
riv_
Vandalyzed--
Sounds like a tough road to walk.
But I think all parents, in some way are facing the same question in some form again and again, and you've spoken it beautifully!
Being a parent shows us what love really is; when we are faced with questions and decisions and the answer ultimately comes to "Am I going to choose what I want for my self, or what I want for my child?"
This is the decision parents make every day - when we decide to say "no" to another hour in front of the TV or another piece of candy, when we decide to say "yes" and drag our butts to the park when we're exhausted or cook a meal when we're not hungry - or work on relationships with someone we wouldn't bother with except they're so important to our kids (grandparents, husbands, wives, neighbours)
And, hard though it may be, kudos to you for choosing your child over yourself.
THere are a lot of parents who don't have the strength to make those choices, and there are a lot of sad, abused, messed up children because of it.
I think we all benefit from your honesty and I'm certain your children benefit from your strength, wisdom and sacrifices!
bigmacmeal
I've got 2 kids, a 5 yr old boy and a 2 yr old girl namely Eval and Evelyn. Eval is pretty smart for his age as he is about to read the newspaper and even drag me the the library for books. But he's still a sweetie.

About Evelyn, nuttin much to say...still a baby. Cries alot when Eval wrestles with her. LOL....kids nowadays
satisfyingcrunch
... I don't have any kids ... but I babysit for my friends ... they sure are smarter than we give them credit for
Lady_Star
Wow... finally a subject I can sink my teeth into woohoo ~does a happy dance~

Van... You are an awesome man and should be admired for your devotion to your boys... kudos to you... most men just don't seem to care much one way or the other anymore which is sad no matter how true it maybe. Best of luck to you and your boys may all the joys and happiness that your deserve find its way to your door step... Smile

I have two wonderful daughters, Jessica, age 16yrs and Nikki, age 27. Nikki has a beautiful daughter who adores her granmama. I am thankful that both of my girls have been pretty good kids over the years. Even though they were basically two only children they have grown quite close now and are almost like best friends. I could go on for hours about my girls and how much they mean to me and all the things that they and we have done but I have to save something for another post later so I won't babble anymore right now... Very Happy
mOrpheuS
(moved in from General Chat)
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