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is it ok to dump via txt?





bigstyleee
dont worry im not planning on doing this myself, just curious on other peoples veiws.

in my opinion it is the pussy way out but it seems to be the way things are going. if i asked this question 5+ years ago im pretty sure 99.9% of you would definitely say no, but as technology becomes part of our life more things like this are seen to be more socialably acceptable.

to help reinforce my point i think sms can be compared to emails. although not personal i think they would be seen as more acceptable as a dumping median than sms. this is in my opinion how the world is becoming... no personal touches and less personal interaction.

where do you draw the line?
i have had a few mates which have taken this option and got a bit of grief for it from the female friends.

be honest, have you done it before? did you feel guilty? had it done to you? how did you feel about being dumped via txt?
Ms.Pseudo
Well, NO, it's not ok to dump someone via txt *glares like Dr.Phil*. I have done it by myself, and I don't regret it at all, cause we only had one date, but still I should have had more guts and I should be ashamed.

If you are afraid that the other part would get aggressive, then it would be ok.
Kaneda
First: Never done it, never had it done to me, never plan on doing it, never hope it will happen to me Smile

I don't really know, but I'd think this is (almost?) exclusively done by "the younger generation" and hopefully only in the case of very short, not really "serious" relationships. I also somehow only see boys (yes, I'm male too) doing it, but that's actually, in some reverse way, bordering on sexism, I guess Wink Just that men tend to shy out of confrontations more than women.

One of the important aspects of email (SMS too) that you get stuffed into your head when studying Media Studies is, that the discourse of email lies somewhere between speech and written word. So that might be why (some) people find it acceptable. We also know from countless 17th-19th century stories that the "Dear John" letter was common long before the Internet. But lovers were often much further apart at that time (and especially in the world of fiction), both geographically (wars, travels etc.) and socially (the "Dear John letter"-phrase itself originated after - and in reference to - World War II, as far as I recall).

So, if you find yourself at the other end of the world, and you won't see each other for a long time, sure, it might be the best way, in terms of not leaving the other person with the false impression that when you're back together, everything will be as it was. But even then, a phone call is probably better (but not really good either).

Sure, I've been a teenager, I've had very short term relationships, I've had some bad breakups, but I don't really see it being any easier by not facing the person - meaning, how is it possible to not feel bad about being so impersonal about a thing which meant/means a lot to the other person (and hopefully to you)?

Also, love implies respect. That comes part of the package. So, if you don't respect a person enough to face him/her at a time like that, there can't have been much love either. But even then, you should have the decency to care about the other person's feelings, which may have been stronger than your own.

Anything else is just incredibly immature. Even for a teenager. Wink Just my opinion.
input
If its just a casual relationship then maybe, but the other person has the right to be told face to face, it brings closer to the relationship that otherwise would not be there. Yes there are times when you dont want to face that other person but its better to get it over and done with. The likely hood is is that you will see that person again at work, school, college etc and by dumping by a message is not good for that persons confidence
robdoar
If it is a serious relationship, then you must do it in person. If you are "mature" enought to be dating in person, then you are mature enough to tell them to their face, or at least a phone call.

However:

If your entire relationship is online.. and im sorry for you if it is, then it might not be as bad.

Txting is a cowards way out to avoid confrontation... grow some conhones!
Starflier
Well, although I've never really been in a romantic relationship, I think it's downright cowardly. (Talking mostly to guys here) You have to at least give her the oppertunity for a parting kiss or slap accross the face, depending on how the relationship went.
On the other hand I can see where a guy would be expecting a slap accross the face or worse, emotional warfare, and would want to avoid being in the proximity when the crud hits the fan. It's no less cowardly though...
Code of Ruin
Dumping someone via text means a total lack of respect towards your soon to be former partner and it isn't exactly honorable to do either. Just act like a grown man (or woman) and say it to someones face.
parentaladvisory
breaking up with someone via text is probably the lowest form and it suuucks. my firends girlfriend did that to him and i laughed my ass off. Laughing
Garnet
This actually happens pretty often where I live. Personally I think that's got to hurt, almost like you're not worth a proper break-up. My best friend had being seeing a guy for 6 years and he couldn't break up with her in person... It was pretty bad. She couldn't even tell if he was serious until he wouldn't answer her calls.
sketteksalfa
Its just the cowards who does this stuff. Basically these people are afraid to face realities in life. They look like wearing masks hiding their true emotions.
mediadar
Anything less than a face to face confrontation could be construed as cowardice.There are exceptions, if the soon to be dumped has a violent nature than distance is a good thing.

Dar.
Tiga
If the quality of the relationship has denegrated to such a level that either of the people in it would seriously even consider a text message to break up....then that relationship is doomed - obviously the respect that person has with the other is so non-existent, whatever form the break-up takes, please make it quickly.
sour_lemon_1k
If the person has humiliated you, or hurt you in any way, then yes, text messaging would be a proper form of revenge (along with stabbing them in the stomach, but that's another story)...If you think they deserve it, then break up with the almighty cellphone; make sure they know they mean NOTHING to you!
Punker
It is a pussy way.
SusieSmacktard
I can see dumping via text if it was one or maybe two dates that did not go well, but otherwise I feel a breakup should be handled face to face.

Just don't do what my ex did. We went away on what was supposed to be a nice weekend trip, and he spent the entire weekend locked in his car, talking on his cell phone, TO HIS MOTHER. For crying out loud, he was 35 and couldn't cut the umbilical cord. Evil or Very Mad
Vrythramax
I think it's a cowardly way of ending a relationship no matter how long it [the relationship] has been going on. If you (not the author of this thread) are man or woman enough to enter into a relatonship and it isn't working out, then you should show the same amount of maturity when ending it as you did entering it. If in the case that you are afraid of the other person, then simply ignore them, that may seem cruel also, but if you just send them an email or an sms they may take great insult and become really nasty.

Just my opinion.
(430053
it makes it look like you dont care...
goutha
pffffffff....

Not worth a relationship, if you think dropping by txt!!!

You better date ALICE... http://www.pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=f5d922d97e345aa1
SemisonicSmile
Ah, well if you feel like getting stabbed in the heart with words than yes.. otherwise hell NO.. My last girlfriend always spoke her mind better in txt messages for some reason. It seemed like she could only share her true feeling when it was in a text message. Needless to say she broke up with me through txting too. Oh was i upset beyond words.. i punched my computer tower and my hard drive shattered. Yes stupid but i was not expecting to get dumped by the love of my life with a text message. So for all those cowards out there, dont speak your mind in a txt message learn how to communicate face to face, you'll save yourself some greif. And in my case a hard drive.
takwirira
i just like to give silence and space, be unavailable then they finally get the idea but most people say thats the worst idea, face to face is best and besides in a text msg you csn never really exhaust what you r feeling in order to make the other person fully understand what it is. very long txt msgs arent attractive either.
myrevolt
SemisonicSmile wrote:
Needless to say she broke up with me through txting too. Oh was i upset beyond words.. i punched my computer tower and my hard drive shattered. Yes stupid but i was not expecting to get dumped by the love of my life with a text message.


Haha. wow. Yeah I got a friend that prefers texting for some reason. Well we did kinda mostly talk through IM, but I always prefered the phone calls and of course in person much better. And now its SMS, which I find extremely annoying; but maybe thats just because the cell keys/T9 are difficult for me to use.
nexusads
no way, dumping via text is very impersonal and doesnt really allow the other person to voice their opinion. only to be done in emergeancy cases, such as if the other person is physically abusive. otherwise, step up to the plate and do the deed properly Smile
leftofcenter
Dumping should be done in person if at all possible. Or at least by phone. There has to be some sort of personal connection, not just pixels on a screen.
CooCooCachoo
leftofcenter wrote:
Dumping should be done in person if at all possible. Or at least by phone. There has to be some sort of personal connection, not just pixels on a screen.


I completely agree, but in the heat of the moment I myself have used a less personal way too. Sometimes it is just easier, though not very right.
Jacqueline
Text messages aren't exactly the most reliable thing in the world.
I've sent plenty of text messages that were never recieved.
So you may send someone a TEXT that it's over, and they may never get it...which would make htings kinda akward.

either way, I would say no. It doesn't really show that you have any respect for the person you are breaking up with.
confoochicken
Yes, I thikn it is fine to dump via text. Everyone uses cell phones, and if u are to nervous th say it to their face then a text will work. On the other hand, if you would go one step up and just give them a call, I think it would have a much better effect.
pjv
the answer is NO unless the guy/gal is a real jerk. even though we're in the information age, I still think that if your just going to dump somebody, at least tell it personally.
iclo
No it is not OK !
If you are MAN/WOMAN enough to get involved with sombody
allbeit for ten seconds !!!!!
Then give a little respect tell them to there face you may find that they hate you to !!!! Twisted Evil
iclo
Sharon & tony had just met !
So sharon not wanting to damage her new relationship with tony
asked him what he thought about her new perfume !!!

He hated it but could not tell her

so he lied and told her that he loved it

she wore it every time they met....... just for him

as time went by he could not stand her ......... Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil
vlnjodie
Maybe if your young and it's not a real relationship. You know, one of those things where you've talked twice and maybe held hands once.

Otherwise, this is absolutely not okay. The only reason someone would think about doing this is because they don't have the guts to talk to the person. So, grow a spine and do the breaking up the right way. Even if it hurts a little more, you owe the other person that respect.
Azzer
I'm young, 13 to be exact, and I think it's completely fine to be dumped by text message. It happened to me recently, and I've done it before myself. I've also dumped and asked out Via MSN..
dz9c
I think ur a coward to say the least if you dont do it in person. Over the phone is acceptable though...
Azzer
Thanks for that, I'll think about your thoughts next time...
udaykamboj
not really in favour of it. But on the other hand why not use technology. If you don't give a crap to the relationship anymore then hell ya txt and bet over with the pain (i.e. the relationship in this case)
nimrod13
Hmmm, let's see...I never really considered this question before. Well, I don't have a cellphone to text message with, or a boyfriend to dump me, so I don't think I could relate very well...but I suppose if I had those two things...and it happened to me...it wouldn't be very fun.
The least someone could do is, if they're too scared to face someone in person, make a phone call, or, if they're both e-mail buffs, maybe send him or her a considerate e-mail. Of course, the best thing to do is to consult your friend in person, but if you're too scared to do this, perhaps you would want to call. But I think text messaging is a little bit too heartless. Of course, if both the persons are "tough skinned" and knew each other wouldn't be offended, maybe it would be okay then.
dandan
I would say NO and I'm saying this since I've tried it before with my first. Now I regret everything. Seriously, do not make my mistake. It just hurts you and your partner more if you dump someone like this. I guess it's also immoral in a way... Crying or Very sad I wish I never broke up with her. Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Damn. If only I could get her back. I would make her the happiest girl in history... Crying or Very sad
Subsonic Sound
I once got dumped by a text sent by the friend of the girl I was going out with.

Bizarre story - I wasn't upset, just annoyed at her. It rapidly turned she was an incredible bitch, and we'd only been together a couple of weeks anyway.

Apparently she'd only gone out with me to annoy her boyfriend - and I didn't feel I needed to do anything about it after I found out she succeeded quite well - her boyfriend tried to run her over. Then she ran off to join the army.

Quote:
I'm young, 13 to be exact, and I think it's completely fine to be dumped by text message. It happened to me recently, and I've done it before myself. I've also dumped and asked out Via MSN..


Actually, I'm in two minds about that. On one hand at 13, relationships are quite different. They become more serious as you get older. 13 year olds dumping each other by text is pretty different to say... 20 year olds doing it. Not meaning to be patronising or anything.

On the other hand, it could be argued you've grown up with text messaging more than 20 year olds have, and it's a more acceptable medium for that kind of communication.

Or it could be a bit of both. Smile
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