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Share your most eXtReMe platonic friend break-up stories





The Philosopher Princess
This topic only concerns platonic (non-romantic) friendships. (Romance goes elsewhere, please.) Genders of the friends donít matter.

Think about some of the very best friendships youíve ever been a part of. The longer lasting the better! And, then, something ďdreadfulĒ happened to cause the friendship to totally break up. What caused it?

Letís try to keep the stories truthful but also share only your sort of ExTrEmE cases, rather than just any old boring story. Know what I mean Smile? If your most eXtReMe is not that exTRemE, well, we donít want to leave you out. But letís attempt to keep it interesting.
~~~~~~~~~~
Iíll start. I had had a platonic male friend for quite a few years. Our lives were both pretty busy, but when we got together we could talk and talk and talk. We had different religions; that didnít matter. We had different job focuses; that didnít matter. We each had our own love interests; that didnít matter. We were just really really good friends that seemed like we could talk on almost anything. Even when I moved away, weíd talk on the phone fairly often.

And then one time on the phone, he mentioned something about the U.S. really needing to raise the tariffs on the foreign competition of some newly emerging industries. I had just read a book making a comprehensive case for free trade as opposed to protectionism. I was so happy to be able to share this, so I bought another copy and mailed it to my friend with a personal note saying I hope he enjoyed it. I was looking forward to more discussions.

Oh man! He took that extremely personally and sensitively! And I was shocked Shocked! Itís not like I walked up to someone I hardly knew and said, ďhere, read this, and Iíll test you on it afterwardsĒ. No! From my point of view, this fit well within the boundaries of our good friendship. And I hadnít even said he had to read it; thatís why I got a separate copy, so I would never need it back. Well, that book sure came back to me. And the accompanying note was not nice.

He obviously took it very offensively that I was challenging his politics. That friendship came to a screeching halt. And I never found out what the whole truth was from his point of view. It just ended.

Of course, free trade is always better than protectionism for people and companies of integrity -- even the newly emerging industries. And I know about it more now than I did even then. But I was naÔve to the fact, at that time, that people could be such strong protectionists that they would dump an otherwise good friendship. Iíve learned.

Break-up by book? Break-up by politics? Break-up by an out-of-tune Princess? Only Dog knows!? Confused
~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe you have some even more EXtREme stories. Idea
wumingsden
Well, as some of you probably know, I'm quite ill and have been all my life. I kept it as a sercret for many years but then decided to tell all of my friends when I started to get more sick.
Anyways I was at a friends (female) birthday party and I suddenly got sick. I was in hospital for over 2 weeks in quite a bad condition. When I finally spoke to her she says something like "your too selfish, it was supposed to be my party and you ruined it". I was really shocked at what she was saying as we were best friends and I didn't think that that was the most mature thing to say, especially when she knows that I don't always have control over my illnesses. I eventually forgot what she said but until this day have not forgave here. Bad Idea. Now every little thing turns into something major which I seriously can't handle. A couple of months ago I said to my best friend (her half-brother) that he was more mature a year ago then at his current age now. He knows that I didn't mean it in a bad way but she went kinda crazy. What gets me is that the day before she called him a really horrible name (behind his back) which I don't think is fair. She is now trying to strike up conversation with me whenever she see's me, whereas I've decided that I want to avoid immature people like her. I have not spoken to her in a none yes/no fashion for the last five weeks.

~ I'm sorry Princess that I can't keep up with your magnificent posting Crying or Very sad
The Philosopher Princess
wumingsden wrote:
~ I'm sorry Princess that I can't keep up with your magnificent posting Crying or Very sad

Are you kidding!? Your rainboxing rocks! Very Happy

But your storytelling is heart wrenching. Sad

I didnít know about your being ill. That and your whole story situation makes me feel very sad. Crying or Very sad
wumingsden
The Philosopher Princess wrote:
wumingsden wrote:
~ I'm sorry Princess that I can't keep up with your magnificent posting Crying or Very sad

Are you kidding!? Your rainboxing rocks! Very Happy

But your storytelling is heart wrenching. Sad

I didnít know about your being ill. That and your whole story situation makes me feel very sad. Crying or Very sad


Not as heart wrenching as some others but I'm not goign to share them. Others don't understand how much ill people can be treated so bad. Before I accepted (to become a Moderator) I asked bondings wether he minded because so many people do which others don't notice. ~ I think I state my illnesses in the "... and so who are you thread ?". I'll add a bit more detail though.

Also note that I have lived with my illness most of my life so I am quite used to them by now, it just didn't tell anybody right from the word "Go" which in a way I kind of regret.
Bookface
The Philosopher Princess wrote:
Of course, free trade is always better than protectionism for people and companies of integrity -- even the newly emerging industries.


What was the book? I'd be interested to know more about this subject.

Offhand, though, and speaking in almost complete ignorance (I didn't even know the term opposing "free trade" until this post), it would seem to me that there would always be people hurt and helped by free trade. Nobody wants to have the bad working conditions that would be required to be competitive with certain countries. Admittedly, cutting off protectionism would inspire more creativity and risk-taking endevours designed to come up with cheaper products by way of greater efficiency -- and this is VERY appealing, and definitely something we should push towards -- but in some cases this would have to be extreme, especially in fields where automation or mass-production is impossible.

If we don't handicap production by child labor, slave labor, or other conditions, we are in effect endorsing it as the most cost-effective solution. If your dollars go elsewhere until they change their production methods, maybe some companies will think twice about their labor methods.

I've heard the argument that in many cases the jobs with poor conditions are better than no jobs at all. But I think it's hard to say. I've also heard the argument that in some countries food is being exported from countries where over 50% of the children under the age of five are starving to death. It seems to me that a strong protectionistic influence would be helpful in building up intra-country economies. (See also this thread, which has an interesting and somewhat related topic.)



Sorry, that was totally off-topic. But I'll make up for it with two breakups in one story.
---
I had one college friend, M, who had a roommate I became friends with, too, D. There was a mutual friend of M and me, A, whom D met at my birthday party, and was attracted to. He wasn't interested, but during the period of time it took him to figure this out, M said she thought it wasn't a good idea and forbade the relationship (with no authority to do so) and D pursued despite this. D never ended up with A, but M stopped talking to and generally played a lot of passive-aggressive games with D for the rest of the term, when D graduated.

Then, months later, after I had managed successfully to balance my platonic relationships with all parties (though I thought M to be at fault), D decided to cut contact with me, stating that I reminded her too much of M and A, and that she no longer considered me her friend. Even wishing her happy holidays (twice, Halloween and Christmas) was eventually replied to with a friendster message, "Please stop calling me. I am not your friend." (Oh, the irony.)
---
I don't know if that was really extreme, but it's always crazy when someone decides to not speak to you ever again. I guess both M and D were both pretty crazy that way -- they both have a history of cutting people off from their lives.

Incidentally, M had a boyfriend at the time, whom she is still with over two years later. But I think that she still saw A as her "property" in a way, in the sense that she had a claim to him.

I doubt that either was fully honest about their reasons why, but I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions. I certainly don't think there's very many things that would cause me to be so unforgiving.
The Philosopher Princess
Good storytelling, Bookface! Certainly eXtREmE enough Smile! It seems a real shame for you to have successfully made it through the difficult times when all that confusion going on -- whew! -- and then, you get dumped (as a platonic friend) anyway -- Sad twice Sad!
~~~~~~~~~~
Hey! Very Happy Iíd be thrilled to discuss the free trade issue with you. You raise some very good points.

Would you do me a favor? Would you start us a topic on this either on the science forum (because it concerns the science of economics) or the philosophy forum (because it concerns political philosophy), whichever context you want set? You could simply write a one-sentence intro and then quote your own text above (or whatever is reasonable to you). (I could do it but itíd be fun for me to have you start it.)
Bookface
http://www.frihost.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=234488

Apparently my storytelling was not good enough, though Smile

I was dumped platonically once, but also M dumped D -- that's what I meant by two dumpings.
The Philosopher Princess
Concerning the B-MAD exTrEmE story:

Bookface wrote:
Apparently my storytelling was not good enough, though Smile

I was dumped platonically once, but also M dumped D -- that's what I meant by two dumpings.

No, it was good enough. It was I who didnít follow properly. I think, due to your ďI guess both M and D were both pretty crazy that wayĒ statement, I had incorrectly assumed thinking M had also cut you off.

Since Iíve now charted the B-MAD relationships, I see everything Twisted EvilWink! (How's it make you feel to have someone else name your story? But it's a pretty good one, huh!?)
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