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Your girlfriend wants SEX

 


deathstilllies
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the
girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so
he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The
pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms
hed like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy
insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and
meets his girlfriend at the door. Oh, Im so excited for you to
meet my parents, come on in

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the
girls parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his
head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, I had no idea you
were this religious.

The boy turns, and whispers back, I had no idea your father was
a pharmacist.
Lennon
Reminds me of this one...

There was a priest in a quiet town. He knew everyone and everyone knew him. In fact, everyone went to him for confession.

So there was a tradition in the area where all the ladies confessed they fell during the week. In fact, every single lady confessed of falling.

Now the priest knew what was going on. Being a local, he knew what falling meant. He knew the dirty business going on behind falling. He knew the lust of his parishoners, he heard of all the types of falling going on. And he knew quite well that they were all sleeping around. Disgusting, enough said. After going on for years and years, the priest gave up trying to stop this falling around. The ladies came back to him every week non-stop confession of falling around. So the priest asked for a new parish.

a replacement priest came along and got to know everyone. He heard the confessions, and since about the worst thing that could happen was just the ladies falling around, he thought the town was so simple, humble and holy. But after a while, the priest was getting sick of this too. He decided to go to the council and complain:

"I'm here to complain about all this falling around I've been hearing about. It's about bloody time we did something about those pavements. It's a death-trap and we shouldn't have all the innocent ladies falling around everywhere."
(Council member giggling)

And the priest turns round to the council and says:
"well, I don't know why your laughing, mister, You're wife fell four times this week"
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