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Girl advice





Eyre
Right, so since i've been grounded from the computer for a while i've actually had a life! Heh, anyway, i've been spending lots of time with this one girl. She's two years older than me, and i've REALLY come to like her. She's absolutely beautiful and i'd do anything for her. She had this boyfriend a while ago who really treated her bad. They were always fighting and he made her cry all the time. So naturally, i took a chance and asked her out. She politely responded with a "maybe" and then avoided me for two days. I was told later that day by her best friend(also one of my very close friends) that there was a chance her and joel may be getting back together. Why she would want to get back together i don't know. So a few days went by and our relationship went back together, she started talking to me and beating me to death, and we started having fun again. Today i was informed that over the weekend joel had told her that he thought she was annoying and junk, and that he really didnt like her. Lately, she's been more buddying up to me. I'm not sure if she really likes me or not. I also talked to her best friend again, and she said that katie doesnt want to go out with me because "i'm way to young for her" even though there is only a two year difference. I have no idea what to do. Help?
SkullPizza
Just throw her the finger shot man, she'll LOVE it. Twisted Evil
narc
Keep persuing until she gets a TRO. That is the ultimate "I love you" from a girl. Then persue a little more. Once you get thrown in prison for violting the TRO, you'll find a real nice man named Bubba who won't play coy at all. After a few months with Bubba you'll learn to appreciate the fine art of the chase. Then when you get out, take your lessons with you and try again.

Your mileage may vary.
TheFaction
i hear ya man, ive recently become interested in this one girl. and as usual with me lately she's already got a b/f. luckily (i guess) their relationship isnt doing so hot. and like we get along real well and sometimes id swear she's sending me signals, but im not sure if thats her personality or if its real. ive been trying to figure it out and i may end up doing something on valentines day who knwos
SkullPizza
TheFaction wrote:
i hear ya man, ive recently become interested in this one girl. and as usual with me lately she's already got a b/f. luckily (i guess) their relationship isnt doing so hot. and like we get along real well and sometimes id swear she's sending me signals, but im not sure if thats her personality or if its real. ive been trying to figure it out and i may end up doing something on valentines day who knwos


my bet is that you scare her off
horseatingweeds
Eyre, I don't know how old you are but if two years is anything I am betting your under 20, but I don't know.

First, understand this fact. Girls like nice guys but they never "like" them. For some odd reason girls like men who are a pit mean or tough, regardless if they admit it. Some more than others. It sounds like yours is involved with a monkey spank but this should be none of your concern.

Second, it also sounds like you’re her "friend". You can certainly stay her friend but you can't be her safety spot. No more discussing her issues with monkey spank, no more "I would do anything for her" and NO perusing. Pursuing will only push her away at this point. Also, thinking this or that about whether her relationship with monkey spank will end or not is useless. She thinks she loves him I bet. I they break she will only go back. Unless

Right now you are one of her girlfriends. Start being a little mean. Become uninterested in her problems with monkey spank. Tell her frankly what you think about her idiotic decisions, but don't seem interested.

I know it sounds ridiculous and any CHICKs reading this are going to think I am a monkey spank. The truth is that I am, and that's why they all "like" me. Every girlfriend I have had has had their little "guy friend" that was in love with her and made all the same mistakes and never got anywhere. Even after we broke it was only because she found another, usually bigger ashole.

This is what will happen to you unless you kick off this Will and Grace BS. If you want a woman you need to be a man and not an understanding friend.

But if this sounds too course fine, I'm sure your love has a homely friend that has been eying you.
amirkpe
she's right , you're too young for her ,,, try another one Wink
Guelila
2 years....
I dont think that that is a big problem here...
I am in a similar case with yours, just that I am 2 years older then her...

My Story::
Ok, so first of all, I have a friend at church and both of us are in the middle/high school youth group, and she is in the elementary youth group...
(Ok, yes we are young... 15/13)
Anyway, this year, she is now in the middle/high school youthgroup.
But we like never talked to each other since we met, which was a year ago..
I kinda gave her signs, like staring at her often and stuff, and I though she did too, because a lot of times our eyes met...
Last week, we, the M/H school youth group, had a mission trip kind of thing for 4 days, and we got a little close to each other, like now I can talk to her and she talkes with me...
But there is a problem... there is this 17 yearold guy who keeps on flirting with her, omg, seriously... and they play a lot more then me and her.
And on the 3rd night, we had this campfire and we wrote a letter to God and burned it in the fire....and after everyone praying and stuff, some people began crying, including her.
She went to that 17 yo guy, and they they were hugging each other while she was crying...
I think that the 17yo dude is just flirting with her, but I dont know what she thinks of him...
I really, like her.. At first (When I moved in to this town, and first saw her), I didn't even care whe was there, but since I don't know when, I cant stop thinking about her...
I want to be the guy that she can feel "safe, protected..."
How can I approach her at this point of time?
blackheart
depends on how old you are, really. under 25 and i'd say your chances are pretty slim. over and then maybe. 30+ and then i'd say you've got a pretty good chance.
lukeropro
Yep, I agree with blackheart. Just give up if you're in your 20s and pursue if you're in your 30s
Pablo Diablo
What's wrong with you people? 2 years is NOTHING.

14 and 16, 16 and 18, 18 and 20, 20 and 22, etc... These differences in ages are completely irrevelant.

What matters is if you're both on the same level, in terms of maturity, and if you're on the same page in terms of what you want in the relationship.

I have a friend who is 23 but still acts like he's in high school and he's dating a 18 year old. They couldn't be happier. The same could be said for a friend who is 25 but is dating a 33 year old. They've been going out for 3 years (He was 22 and she was 30 when they first started dating).

Keep an open mind people.
Ultima1080
Bah, screw 2 years. My girlfriend is 21 and I'm about to turn 19...thats not bad man. Tell her how you feel...and make sure to ask questions about her, because honestly women tend to be kinda self centered....well not really. Anyways, just tell her how you feel! It takes some balls yes, but women like that. Seriously. Be brave and good luck!
horseatingweeds
Ultima1080 wrote:
Bah, screw 2 years. My girlfriend is 21 and I'm about to turn 19...thats not bad man. Tell her how you feel...and make sure to ask questions about her, because honestly women tend to be kinda self centered....well not really. Anyways, just tell her how you feel! It takes some balls yes, but women like that. Seriously. Be brave and good luck!


Eyre wrote:
i took a chance and asked her out. She politely responded with a "maybe" and then avoided me for two days.
SunburnedCactus
horseatingweeds wrote:
Ultima1080 wrote:
Bah, screw 2 years. My girlfriend is 21 and I'm about to turn 19...thats not bad man. Tell her how you feel...and make sure to ask questions about her, because honestly women tend to be kinda self centered....well not really. Anyways, just tell her how you feel! It takes some balls yes, but women like that. Seriously. Be brave and good luck!


Eyre wrote:
i took a chance and asked her out. She politely responded with a "maybe" and then avoided me for two days.


Anyone else catch the subtle hint? Wink
Eyre
so you guys know, yes it's 16 and 18. She told me today at school that she would like to go see a movie with me. I'm taking that as a good sign Very Happy Thanks for the help and criticism by the way Wink
SkullPizza
Eyre wrote:
so you guys know, yes it's 16 and 18. She told me today at school that she would like to go see a movie with me. I'm taking that as a good sign Very Happy Thanks for the help and criticism by the way Wink


The movies?! Perfect! Ok get an extra large popcorn... cut a hole in the bottom of it and put your penis inside from the whole you made. Then offer her some popcorn. Oldest trick in the book.
Srs2388
LMAO
Quote:
The movies?! Perfect! Ok get an extra large popcorn... cut a hole in the bottom of it and put your penis inside from the whole you made. Then offer her some popcorn. Oldest trick in the book.

wow that made me laugh, i'd say if you really like the girl dont give up if you dont think she likes you that much dont get your hopes up too high it will make u sad
myrevolt
guelila, are you the one making those sigs? i am partial to antipixels but those images actually look pretty cool...

skullpizza, i truly hope no one tries that advice.

and yeah Eyre i have been through that except it was 2 girls. the first one was like older and was like maybe, we ended up hanging out at lunch, then she avoided me for weeks and we never spoke again. and the current one, well i'll see what happens after i hear her reaction to the stuff i mailed to her house for valentines day...
Dominator101
i no how u feel man. thers a girl i go to school with an i really like her but if i told her she'd probly just say no an wed never talk to each other again but if she likes the roses that are being delivered to her door on valentines day who knows?
Nyizsa
Eyre wrote:
so you guys know, yes it's 16 and 18. She told me today at school that she would like to go see a movie with me. I'm taking that as a good sign Very Happy Thanks for the help and criticism by the way Wink

That's a good start. Just don't try to seem older. (You were thinking about it, weren't you?) Be yourself, and simply let things happen.
Guelila
Dominator101 wrote:
i no how u feel man. thers a girl i go to school with an i really like her but if i told her she'd probly just say no an wed never talk to each other again but if she likes the roses that are being delivered to her door on valentines day who knows?

That is exactly why I can't approach her at the moment...
I really like her, but if something goes worng now, she might never talk to me again.

So how can I approach her then?
What can I do to get closer to her?
Give me any advises cause I need em...
alja
I would say that let the things come and pass. do not push go easy be a gentleman. The age as somebody stated before is irrelevant you can get old people acting like babies and not knowing what to do with their lives and you can get youngsters that are certain about what they are doing and what they want. Let her know that the age could not be a reason to stop something that has even started but seems to be really nice according with what you said about the buddy part. Good luck and be happy!
[idbi]SKi
Mentioning that name (katie) made me go WOW... considering thats my gfs name... Would be quite co incidental if it was the same one, you don't live in MA do you?
hofer
Sorry man, nobody can predict what she will do, don´t try, girls are strange, beware! LOL.
Masochistic Tendencies
Just leave it where it is. If you wants you she'll tell you...so dont expect anything Twisted Evil
SkullPizza
Guarantee that this doesn't turn out well. She's already given you as much of a no as you're going to get without completly pushing her out of your life. But maybe that's what you need to do anyway. Relationships like the one you are describing that you have with this girl aren't really ever healthy. you remain pent up for far too long.
Alein_Atryda_III
I must agree with horseatingweeds:x But only partially.

Yeah, you must show girl part of your bad, uncaring side, so she loses the feeling you'll be always there for her no matter what she does*. She has to see that if she doesn't try to be nice for you you are capable of just leaving here where she stands.

But being total a**hole isn't good either;p

*Effects may vary
Lied
Crying or Very sad
I just want to say my story.And the lessons i took from it.

I have been the "Guy friend" of a girl for almost 4 years of my life.At first i really liked her,but after a while i was deeply in love with her.I was naive back then, you know, the little all-understanding boy.She said things like "Relationship kills friendship" and i was too afraid to express my fealings to her.
Years passed and i was there for her to compromize after each broke up with a boyfriend of hers.This was extreemly painful for my but i endure it.I though that one day she would see that i realy cared about her.This never happend though.I was not the tready looking guy not the handsome one,but i still had hopes.I was there in every step he took,helping her and loving her.
So, near the end of our relationship (where i stop wanting to even see her) she was with someone.After a long jurney and as i was finaly home, she calls me and says she wants to meet with me.Ofc and dispite my 12hour travel i went to meet her.She said that she had problems with her new boyfriend and that he didn't want to speak with her.I was pissed that someone had the only thing i wanting so much and he did not apresiated it.After a month me and him had a fight.For irrelevant reasons,but both of us where searching for the spark to light the fire.I hated him and he felt threatend by me as her girlfriend's best friend.After that the marks of the fight could not be hiden but i kept the identity of him secret from everyone interested to beat him up cause he hurt me.
To my amazement, and after lieing for her,for another matter, she sold me out! She was telling everyone, and without much of intimidation, that she didn't knew that guy and it must be one of my "bad" friends i hang up with.From that moment i stop speaking with her.I stop loving her and my heart was filled with hatred.

As i see it now, everything is up 2 your choises.She made hers and served her well.He became a junky and beat her up a couple of times,and tryed to rape her once,as i found out years after.Two years ago we accidently meet again in a cafe cause of some friend's friend.

After that, 1.5years ago,i still thinking of her and my heartbeat changes.Am happy with my present girlfriend but i still thinking of that girl.

To sum up,I now understand that this had tought me many things.Am not as sesitive now,dispite my friends telling me that i became more evil than before this Twisted Evil ,i find it comforting since i will never be hurt that much again.She never found out that i was i love with her.

Here we say "Women are like stamps" the more you "spit" on them,the stickier they become,which means that the more you don't care for them, the more attention you will get.
please.be.quiet
wait a little bit for her to fully recover the breakup, not too long though because she could start getting interested in some other boy. then ask her again.
seodfac
horseatingweeds wrote:
Eyre, I don't know how old you are but if two years is anything I am betting your under 20, but I don't know.

First, understand this fact. Girls like nice guys but they never "like" them. For some odd reason girls like men who are a pit mean or tough, regardless if they admit it. Some more than others. It sounds like yours is involved with a monkey spank but this should be none of your concern.

Second, it also sounds like you’re her "friend". You can certainly stay her friend but you can't be her safety spot. No more discussing her issues with monkey spank, no more "I would do anything for her" and NO perusing. Pursuing will only push her away at this point. Also, thinking this or that about whether her relationship with monkey spank will end or not is useless. She thinks she loves him I bet. I they break she will only go back. Unless

Right now you are one of her girlfriends. Start being a little mean. Become uninterested in her problems with monkey spank. Tell her frankly what you think about her idiotic decisions, but don't seem interested.

I know it sounds ridiculous and any CHICKs reading this are going to think I am a monkey spank. The truth is that I am, and that's why they all "like" me. Every girlfriend I have had has had their little "guy friend" that was in love with her and made all the same mistakes and never got anywhere. Even after we broke it was only because she found another, usually bigger ashole.

This is what will happen to you unless you kick off this Will and Grace BS. If you want a woman you need to be a man and not an understanding friend.

But if this sounds too course fine, I'm sure your love has a homely friend that has been eying you.


Right on my man...This is the best advice I have seen on a forum yet. Keep up the good work.
tigerlily13
I think you should take some time to decide if you really love her or not. Success in anything always starts with good conviction, and a bit of common sense. Most especially with love.
brilliantbeauty
Okay, a quick glance through this has given the generalization that most people here are males. But anyway, my thing is, GIVE HER TIME.

I can pretty much tell you why she ran back to the Joel guy though. You come to think you love someone and get deluded into thinking you can cahnge them, and soon their faults become endearing. Even if your braintells you are a stupid idiot to do this, you become well- infatuated. It's like an expanding bubble and soon enough, the bubble will burst, and illusions are shattered. This has happened.

This Katie girl seems like a really good person, she has not crushed your hopes or anything, and she has been nice. Be her friend. No matte rhow much you may want to kiss her, a firend actually is more powerful than a lover, believe it or not. Gain ehr trust. Do not jump the gun. It may be excruciating, but just stay calm, and you will reap your rewards at the end.
hsadmin
'
Alein_Atryda_III wrote:
I must agree with horseatingweeds:x But only partially.

Yeah, you must show girl part of your bad, uncaring side, so she loses the feeling you'll be always there for her no matter what she does*. She has to see that if she doesn't try to be nice for you you are capable of just leaving here where she stands.

But being total a**hole isn't good either;p

*Effects may vary


^^I AGREE^

If she says she's leaving you, say you'll pack her bags.

The way I show my bad part, is, if someone pushes you in front of her or somethin, take there head, and throw them Laughing

Push them into some lockers. That works..
bassgs_17
Spend as much time with her as possible, and get to know her really well. Prove to her that you are mature enough, and she should warm up to you... I can't really help much, as I still don't understand the workings of the female mind...
-Aquastrike
sterngate
The last time i would ask someone about dealing with my relationship is like a long time ago, like once, and it's don't turn out anything good to me. Well basically i believe that every one have a different opinions about it which is consider there person experience. It is better just to go out there and make that mistake yourself, and you probably feel a lot better when it felt the first love, which give you a better knowledge of a second one, down the line. Know what is doing right, make her satisfied.

And tell you the truth, i been with a ton of females before, and most of my friend were female. All my EX is always turn to me for comment and question, which make me feel very proud and sad too, because there boyfriend suppose to do that for them.

If you turn out to be a master at get the love you want, don't hurt that innocent girl. You'll regret. Know how the game, know the thing that you were talking about, if you don't like it, said it straight to them. be TRUTH peace.
keempe
i know what you're talking about (i've got the same story here) i didn't make a move yet and i don't know if i'll ever do, but if i don't probable be sorry in a couple of years. so if you realy love her, go out and give it a shot just be nica and soft to her and show her that you realy care about her and that she's special.
Goodluck bro
fingers crossed
eml298
This is a tough one. If she really cares for the guy she is dating, she could feel you are not respecting her and her relationship if you make a move. On the other hand, I know how it feels to be in your position, and staying there indefinitely is not healthy. Next time they break up, be ther for her and be strong, but do tell her how you feel. Tell her you are not going to pressure her, or disrespect her, but that you can no longer solely be around to hear her woes with a guy who treats her poorly, when you know you could do so much better, and you want to. Putting your cards on the table in a mature and deliberate way, but then not pushing her and setting ultimatums, seems like the best play. If it doesn't work out, at least you will know. Not knowing and always wondering,"what if?" is worse, in my opinion. Good luck!

It is true that (young) women go for the "bad" guys, as they seem so exciting. It is only once we grow up that we truly appreciate the good ones. I wish it were different. I was the same way at 18.

And, for the record, I am a woman. This is coming from a woman's perspective.
Mumpay
ok, don't be a pussy and be all like "i love you but i understand if you dont feel the same way... do you love me?! please oh god love me!"

That's just irritating. There's a better way to make sure she knows you're there for a good "time" (replace "time" with a dirtier word, if you will).

Throw on the compliments! Give her a nickname that's something like "beautiful" and call her that all the time. Always watch for a new hair style, new clothes, new anything, and when you see it, go insane with complimenting it. "Your hair looks really really good today, what's different? It's like model-hot, really".

If you keep complimenting her all the time, it'll be pretty darn obvious what you think of her, but you're still keeping it as friends. If she ever asks you why you're so high on compliments, tell her people don't compliment others enough, or some bs like that, so it's not so obvious that you just want her to fall in love with you. You're doing it to help the world, not just yourself, heh.

Really, someone else said it and they're dead on. Girls are very self centered. We love hearing great things about ourselves, talking about ourselves, on and on. If you're a constant source of confidence-boosters, then she'll be going to you more and more, it'll be like an addiction. Pretty soon she'll associate you with the great confidence-high she gets from you, and that'll turn into love and lust. Honest Smile
thpn
Horseatingwings Wrote:

Quote:
"Eyre, I don't know how old you are but if two years is anything I am betting your under 20, but I don't know.

First, understand this fact. Girls like nice guys but they never "like" them. For some odd reason girls like men who are a pit mean or tough, regardless if they admit it. Some more than others. It sounds like yours is involved with a monkey spank but this should be none of your concern.

Second, it also sounds like you’re her "friend". You can certainly stay her friend but you can't be her safety spot. No more discussing her issues with monkey spank, no more "I would do anything for her" and NO perusing. Pursuing will only push her away at this point. Also, thinking this or that about whether her relationship with monkey spank will end or not is useless. She thinks she loves him I bet. I they break she will only go back. Unless

Right now you are one of her girlfriends. Start being a little mean. Become uninterested in her problems with monkey spank. Tell her frankly what you think about her idiotic decisions, but don't seem interested.

I know it sounds ridiculous and any CHICKs reading this are going to think I am a monkey spank. The truth is that I am, and that's why they all "like" me. Every girlfriend I have had has had their little "guy friend" that was in love with her and made all the same mistakes and never got anywhere. Even after we broke it was only because she found another, usually bigger ashole.

This is what will happen to you unless you kick off this Will and Grace BS. If you want a woman you need to be a man and not an understanding friend.

But if this sounds too course fine, I'm sure your love has a homely friend that has been eying you."


He is so right, he is bound to be the biggest ****** on earth. Now the truth is that she needs someone like you right now but you need to be a little more aggresive. If you just talk and talk but don't flirt or joke with her then she will get bored and look for someone else. Just, don't push it and make her think you are like the ****** who wrote the above. I have a lot of friends that are kind but aggresive in some ways and they usually end up with the girl they want. So, just do not listen to people who tell you to do the stupidest things. Oh, and a tip of advice for the future: If you ever get married, don't have and sex until you are married...and do not marry her for sex, you won't last another month. It is proven...
arandurah
Quote:
Horseatingwings Wrote:
If you just talk and talk but don't flirt or joke with her then she will get bored and look for someone else. Just, don't push it and make her think you are like the ******* who wrote the above.


This is so true. I have never been in a similar case, but it is so true. I have had only 3 "true" girlfriends, but i must say that it is true. And age DO NOT MATTER! My girlfriend is 18 im 17 no big deal we are on the same level.

Quote:
If you ever get married, don't have and sex until you are married
But i cant follow you here. (You can see my oppinion about this in the "sex before marry" topic)
avblue
I don't think my response could top horseatingweeds' response to your post. However, rather than being more of a "tough guy", just try being yourself. Like horseatingweeds said, however, don't become the type of person that lets her assume that she can just dump you whenever she feels but run back to you whenever she has a problem. Don't be too clingy to the point of driving her away. If she wants to talk, talk to her. Just be yourself and show her what a good guy you are. Also, don't take her friend's word for everything that happens in her life. You won't get the truth and know it's the truth unless you talk to your friend yourself. If your friend continues this behavior or running to you whenever she has an issue, then confront her about it or start acting uninterested and whatnot, like horseatingweeds mentioned in his post.

Good luck!
Jaiye
I've just started to put this into practice in my own life, so I can kinda give my view. I was always the nice guy. Hell, I was the best friend any girl could have. And for the first 20 years of my life, that's all I was... friends with every girl I ever liked but never able to push through to an actual 'relationship'.

Then I made some significant changes to my outside appearance. I'm putting it that way, because I've learned how to be c o c k y, arrogant, and pretty much a jerk on the outside, but on the inside there still this nice guy going 100% and keeping the outside in balance, and this my friend, is a killer combination.

But what I also found out, once I started to take this route, quite a few girls that had 'rejected' me in the past started to take interest in me. It was quite an interesting situation to witness. But there was always something with them that would be limeted to friends (probably the part where I had to emotionally 'move past' them before). So I went out and started hanging out with new groups of people, new girls that didn't know me from my life before. All that stuff, mixed with a heavy dose of confidence (real or fake, doesn't matter. I had to fake it for a long time) will attract girls to you like crazy.

I started making these changes about 4 months ago, and I now wouldn't even recognize myself from before. Nice guys will always finish last, but nice guys that can balance the other aspects will almost always come out on top.

True story.
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