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Jealousy and Love





bcnhs81
OK ill start my story in the very beginning.. I've met this girl in the chatroom and then we became friends. At first i thought she has no boyfriend (coz she told me so), but after we've met she confesed to me that she's got a bf and things are not going well between them. But it was already too late.. I've fallen for her and its really hard for me to show my feelings and not get hurt in the process. Right now, they are going strong and she even told me that she loves her bf more than ever.. i know i do not have a right to be mad.. but my heart is killing me.. Ijust want to pour it all out here. oh btw, we are becoming closer each dayand i must say i really love her.. In the back of my mind, im wishing that they would serparte ways but i know its not right.. oh man.. im in deep trouble...
thiamshui
well, take it easier.. there is a reason behind everything that happens.. it may be God's way of telling u there's somebody that is more suitable for u.. juz keep in touch with her n remain as friends.. love cannot be forced so take it easy..
Sappho
thiamshui wrote:
well, take it easier.. there is a reason behind everything that happens.. it may be God's way of telling u there's somebody that is more suitable for u.. juz keep in touch with her n remain as friends.. love cannot be forced so take it easy..


Last time God told me the lottery numbers and guess what they werent tossed, i am not goin to listen to him again. Smile)

Anyway to ur problem, just try to be a good friend thiamshui said it nicely dont force things and u will see how it goes.
Slammer
Hey, i was in a similar situation. We didnt meet online, but it was in school. And she wasnt single, and there was something between us. It was two way. I just waited until she realised what i had been feeling too. And now were together! And have been for...over 1 year and 2 months!.

So my advice to you, is just play it by ear. Yeah it might hurt seeing them together or whatever. But if it is true, and she feels the same(somewhere deep down...she might not know it yet!) then fate will eventually step in. Just hold on in there!

Cool
SunburnedCactus
Give it up mate. Not going to happen. Harsh, I know, but the best thing is to move on now.
LeviticusMky
I agree. Move on.

I'd go as far as to cut off all contact with the individual.

I mean, any contact that you have with her will have a romantic undertone, no matter what you do, so you gotta let this be.

You could sit around and wait for her to get tired of her current boy-toy, but it would be much healthier to start looking elsewhere.
Soulfire
You're in too deep. I know the feeling. Someone comes along and takes you away, she's the one! But there's always a hitch, nothing would be worth anything if there weren't hitches.

It sounds to me that she needs a friend, and you should start off as that friend. I am convinced that any good relationship starts off as a strong friendship, so develop that first. It may be hard to "mask" your feelings, but you shouldn't have to - let them go.

It's sort of like the words from a song:
"I lit my pain on fire, and I watched it all burn down, now I'm dancing in the ashes..."

But anyways, only you can tell yourself what to do. I know the feeling well, and the best thing for me, like I said, was to continue to be friends, and it eventually works out.

But consider also that she may not be the one, someone out there is waiting for you, someone even better...
SunburnedCactus
If someone is truly ideal for you, then surely they are available too. That would be pretty ideal after all.
*parakiss
well look at reality first...

you met her in a chatroom, how do you know what she is really like in person? She might be totally different and even what you dont expect. Another thing, what if distance is a problem? where does she live? will it be a long distance relationship?

In my opinion, I dont think it's worth it and you can't keep wishing everyday for her to breakup with her boyfriend...is it worth seeing her sad? I know it'll probably take time to get over, but gradually look for something new ^.^
bcnhs81
*parakiss wrote:
well look at reality first...

you met her in a chatroom, how do you know what she is really like in person? She might be totally different and even what you dont expect. Another thing, what if distance is a problem? where does she live? will it be a long distance relationship?

In my opinion, I dont think it's worth it and you can't keep wishing everyday for her to breakup with her boyfriend...is it worth seeing her sad? I know it'll probably take time to get over, but gradually look for something new ^.^


as time goes by, i begin to understand her personality.. we are not far.. we live in the same city and talk most of d tym via sms..

@ all who replied

thanks for your advices guys.. wow.. i gotta give it to you.. you got lots of experiences.. but i would like others to give their comments.. Very Happy
bcnhs81
just an update guys.. we're very much close now.. i've asked her if i can be a bestfrend to her and she agreed..
bcnhs81
GUYS!!! her bf deided that they cool off..!! oh man.. wat will i do??
kutegoddezz
wow that sounds like a really complicated but common situation. it's amazing how things can start off one way and then change in an instant. girls are often really romantic so yeah that can make them feel so easily swept off their feet. soemtimes the line btwn friends and more than friends is so thin and u cant really choose who you end up having feelings for so it's really difficult. i respect you for remaining a really good friend in this situation and staying as positive and realistic as possible thats very important. but in the end if u r meant 2 be she will realize wut a loyal f riend u've been. so stick it out if u feel she is worth it.
bcnhs81
yeah, just want to tell you guys that i've really gone out of my way just to help her.. even though i've got exams i still accompanied her during their marketing.. when she felt sick i visited her and bought her med.. i've done a great deal of things..i know that i should stand as her BESTFRIEND but im really tempted to tell her how much i love her.. oh and btw next saturday we will be watching a movie.. together...
sisadmin
If someone is truly ideal for you, then surely they are available too. That would be pretty ideal after all Smile
Vrythramax
You fell in love with a girl in a chatroom Shocked Isn't that kinda like falling in love with a good book, that's only text also.

BTW....how do you even know if your talking to a girl? Question
lyndonray
that's a tough one son. a tough one. I am going through some love issues myself and the best bit of advice i can think of right now, which I am also trying to follow, is go with your heart. First of all truly understand what your heart is telling you. Make sure you don't have any dillusions. Face your true feelings and go with your heart. good luck.
bcnhs81
Vrythramax wrote:
You fell in love with a girl in a chatroom Shocked Isn't that kinda like falling in love with a good book, that's only text also.

BTW....how do you even know if your talking to a girl? Question


i already met her and have done a lot of favors to her.. right now she's in conflict with her boyfriend. i mean they would argue most of the time and she would cry.. but i know how much she loves her bf.. i just dunno but i am feeling the pain too.. but i guess i need to be a bestfriend to her,..
rocky
bcnhs81 wrote:


i already met her and have done a lot of favors to her.. right now she's in conflict with her boyfriend. i mean they would argue most of the time and she would cry.. but i know how much she loves her bf.. i just dunno but i am feeling the pain too.. but i guess i need to be a bestfriend to her,..


do that and try to find a gf for yourself
cycus
This is the message for all those who have had a bad experience in love.
Just remember God is watching you and he's waiting for the right time to put your life partner in your way because you have already faced the consequences of his hurrying.
kflo
bcnhs81 wrote:
OK ill start my story in the very beginning.. I've met this girl in the chatroom and then we became friends. At first i thought she has no boyfriend (coz she told me so), but after we've met she confesed to me that she's got a bf and things are not going well between them. But it was already too late.. I've fallen for her and its really hard for me to show my feelings and not get hurt in the process. Right now, they are going strong and she even told me that she loves her bf more than ever.. i know i do not have a right to be mad.. but my heart is killing me.. Ijust want to pour it all out here. oh btw, we are becoming closer each dayand i must say i really love her.. In the back of my mind, im wishing that they would serparte ways but i know its not right.. oh man.. im in deep trouble...


Do yourself a favor and move on.....granted easier said than done. What is not to say that if you finally won her heart she would not be doing the same thing to you? you don't need that in your life. There's other fish in the sea man. Once you get over her some you will realize that.
kissfish
thiamshui wrote:
well, take it easier.. there is a reason behind everything that happens.. it may be God's way of telling u there's somebody that is more suitable for u.. juz keep in touch with her n remain as friends.. love cannot be forced so take it easy..

Wow. I agree with thiamshui. I think most of us had alrady heard the word "causality" especially after Matrix. There is always a reason behind every situation. What I would like totell you is please just listen to your feelings, and emotions. Whatever you are living now is the reflection of your own thoughts, feelings and emotions. Would you stop just one sec and think this: There wasn't anyone before you happened to meet. Why don't you try and find another one who you will love deeply and be loved. Time is ticking and you're still waiting "the one" to come back to you. And you know that she has a bf now. Just remember you created her and if you really want you create onether one. Don't waste your time.
with love
CD
bcnhs81
Embarassed Embarassed
i really appreciate the opinions guys.. right now im hanging wildy.. im madly in love with her and she knows (and feels) that
Gieter
bcnhs81 wrote:
Embarassed Embarassed
i really appreciate the opinions guys.. right now im hanging wildy.. im madly in love with her and she knows (and feels) that


Just take care that you don't get beaten up by her boyfriend...
Srs2388
good luck with her, but do try to think this
alot of girls can and will do that in your life
you might do that to some girls
relationships end thats a part of life
(i really dont mean to soun mean honestly)
but, hers the good part
it makes the "right one" even more rewarding after going to hell and back working on other relationships ya know?
bcnhs81
UPDATE GUYS!!!!

she's now my girlfriend.. she told me that she'll leave her bf.. i just dunno but what i feel right now is a mixture of joy,fear and sadness.. now that she's mine, im afraid to lose her and i dont wana be alone again.. i really love her.. i really do.. however she asked me to give her some time.. i guess she's not rdy to leave her bf.. great huh?im quite confused really....man..
Vrythramax
@bcnhs81

Congatulations! Just a word of warning...this girl is ready to leave one man for another...she may do it again later on, possibly to you. I'm not saying every woman is the same, nor are they prone to repeating previous actions...just keep your head about you and your eyes open.

best of luck.
bcnhs81
Thanks for the tips guys.. well that's it.. she just left her bf today.. well its kinda sad though.. i kinda feel sad.. i dunno
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