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Dealing With Death





Soulfire
So, this has happened 5 times at our school this year - 4 students are dead and one of my friend's dad passed away.

Kyle, a 5th grader, got hit by a car while riding his bicycle and died instantly. Sometime in October (forgot the date)

Matt Avis (Senior) & Marco Schreiber (Sophomore) died in a car accident when they ran a blinking red light and got hit by a semi on November 9th, 2005.

My friend's dad (Age 44) died of a suspected heart attack, October 27th 2005.

Today (January 25), on our snow day, Lalo Carrion (Senior) died in a car accident on his way to look at Adrian College.

I knew 4 of the 5 people, I wasn't terribly close to them, but how do you deal with death? For me, typing this post actually helped a lot, but I feel pretty messed up now.
phoneix
the death of someone you know is a really hard situation...
i felt very bad when my grandma died...

knowing that;
i wont see her anymore...
she wont tell me her tales...
wont hear her voice...
...this is so difficult...
Soulfire
And it's the strangest thing, because I remember conversations I've had with these people the day before they died, playing sports with them, having Gym class, growing up with them since kindergarten.

It's tough.
lockwolf
Hopefully they are in a better place up in the sky, not down in the ground.
christy
I'm sorry to hear you've had to go through so many losses Soulfire. If you feel like you need someone to talk to, I'm always around. Sometimes complete strangers who're willing to listen are the best friends you could ever ask for.

I've lost two good friends in the past 5 years myself, and I'm about to lose both of my grandmothers, one to terminal cancer, and the other, ordinary old age. I don't think anyone ever learns to deal with death, it goes against our very nature, and trust me, knowing that its coming, having time before it happens to dwell on it, it doesn't help at all.

I wish that I could guarentee you that they're happier now, or in a better place, but I can't, only faith can tell you that. Even if you weren't very close to them, I'm sure it still hurts, it always does. Theres always the thoughts of "it could have been me" and other things, and the shock of it all. All I can say is that eventually it will fade to a dull ache that only comes up when you think of them, but it never completely goes away.
Soulfire
It's just so unbelievable. It was utter disbelief at first... and then my heart sank. I wasn't even stable before all this happened as I am having conflicts with my friends, and this just compromises everything further. I know it's selfish of me to think of myself too, especially in a time like this, but it's so weird.

I feel a weight on me now, I slouch, I barely walk, and it's harder to get out of bed. I hope things get better soon, although things did improve slightly.
snjripp
Soulfire wrote:
I wasn't even stable before all this happened as I am having conflicts with my friends, and this just compromises everything further.


I wonder, Soulfire, why this compromises everything? As things in life move, as God can move and change, some thing in life seem truer and more stable. While God may even reach compromises, we should breathe deeply and react more thoughtfully still.
Soulfire
snjripp wrote:
Soulfire wrote:
I wasn't even stable before all this happened as I am having conflicts with my friends, and this just compromises everything further.


I wonder, Soulfire, why this compromises everything? As things in life move, as God can move and change, some thing in life seem truer and more stable. While God may even reach compromises, we should breathe deeply and react more thoughtfully still.

It compromises things because among everything that already went wrong, something else did. Things looked up a bit more today, with the exception of the passing of my friend. We weren't the best of friends in the world, but we were still friends.

I just really don't know what to think.
Dustin
You could alwase read a book called "a brave new world" in that book they just deal with death like its an everyday thing. Who knows mabey you'll read it and see something that i missed. Because according to my english teacher that was a major theme in the book

Nonetheless reading alwase provides a good escape anywase
mike4652
Quote:
I just really don't know what to think.

Life has no gurantees, God has control of every breath we take and He alone grants each and every one we take.
Loosing someone can be very confusing and hard to deal with but we do have a promise, That if we trust in God's salvation and share His plan with others we can meet up with them in heaven.
If a person needs comfort in a time of need. Seek God's comfort and wisdom and He will not let you down.
God is always there to help us through the tough times.
He will never leave us or forsake us.
He alone holds the answers.
Soulfire
I love God, and I am not one to question His plan, but why so close to home? Why so many? A total of probably around 10 students/active community members have been killed since Spring 2005, 9 of them in car accidents.

Sometimes His heavenly plan doesn't make earthly sense.
Davidgr1200
I think it's good to grieve for a while - this is what funerals are for, they are places and times where it is accepted that people should cry. After a while, though, you have to get thinking about life again. It can act as a stimulus - better do those things I want to do while I still have the chance, be nice to people as I may not have the chance to apologise later.
SunburnedCactus
Acceptance can only come with time. Grief is natural, and indeed healthy, and it is important that you take the time to remember those lost before you can truly move on.

And yes, sometimes it is difficult to see the reasoning in His grand designs...
naz
Many people I knew died, but I can't say I was very moved or even cried. i belive it's the personal approach to death and what you believe is after someone is dead. That someone dies in an accident and at such a young age is very hard , but I think it's a part of our life, We have to accept it as any other part in our life and by doing this you can deal better with this situations even with some close friend or relatives. I find it quite egoistic if someone doesn't what that somebody dies if he or she is ill and suffers every day ,only to satisfy your personal need of this person. i think we should learn to leave things behind us...

My 2 Cents...naz
tidruG
Dealing with Death is kind of like dealing with just about any other sort of major heartache... the only thing that heals is time... what ahstens the process is expression of your feelings (getting it off your shoulders really works, though I really don't understand the logic behind it... I don't understand how just talking to someone about things that bother you really helps... but from personal experience, many times, I can say that it really does work) and the love and care/understanding you get from the people close to you.

R.I.P Carl, Marco, Matt, Lalo...
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