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Funny Contest





ahussain
Hey a good bag of laughs is better than anything else and to realise the hilarious character of the members why not have a best joke contest. I am sure the admins can think of a prize.
Helios
Joke contest? Confused

Nice idea! Very Happy
Manimal
I would like to see that as long as the jokes are original and not recycled from someone elses material.
A joke contest would be kind of cool then.
Laughing
n0obie4life
err yeah....

not really a goood idea..?

maybe some other contest.
JamieC
exactly, hardly any jokes would be their own, they would be like, why did the chicken cross the road? Rolling Eyes Razz
mathiaus
If it were to be a joke somehow relating to frihost then they would have to be original. Cant see this being everyones cup of tea (not mine). If somesort of comedy sketch or basiclly anything funny in some way relating to frihost then a few more people may be interested
Manimal
Thats a good way to make it original.
Having to have frihost relate the joke.
Maybe even have it to where it relates to a member to using their screen name.
charliehk
I find a lot of jokes entering the forum, some of them are funny, and some are oldies(not because they are not amusing, but i have heard them so many times).

So, if there is a contest, the joke must be original.

But frankly speaking, I am more interested in funny pic rather than jokes.
n0obie4life
maybe a Best Template Design for the forum. And bondings will tell us what hacks are installed...what are the google ads code etc. So if we make the new template for frihost, it must be pre-made with those Smile
themoose
I've got one, its the purple joke, but it takes like 10 mins to say or 15 to write and the punchline isnt that good anyway.
Stiv_
anyone can jus use jokes they find of the net, so who ever it was mentioned a jk about frihost wud b a gd idea, or a joke that any cud tell was the original work of the guy/gurl that said it, otherwise wud jus be a pure waste of time
bananaphone
1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about cars.
4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5. Monday Night Football.
6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8. You can open all your own jars.
9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.
11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on
every shot of someone crying.
12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere
you go.
17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
19. Your last name stays put.
20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that
everyone secretly hates you.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. The garage is all yours.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
27. You never have to clean the toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can
still be your friend.
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
35. You don't have to shave below your neck.
36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
37. If you're 40 and single nobody notices.
38. You can write your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
41. Chocolate is just another snack.
42. You can be president.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
44. Flowers fix everything.
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
51. Foreplay is optional.
52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the
room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is
coming by.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without
even thinking (He must be mad at me)
60. The world is your urinal.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover
is
about to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
64. One mood, all the time.
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look
like him.
66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this
one's just too yucky.
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are
wearing.
69. Same work....more pay.
70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
71. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
adjustments.
72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's
population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
79. ESPN's sports center.
80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
81. Bachelor parties whip ass over bridal showers.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the
bathroom.
85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't
tell your friends you've changed.
86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F_ck
it!"
88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you
might become lifelong buddies.
89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not
in the mood.
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a
hammer and throw it across the room.
94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and
anniversaries.
97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with
them.
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice
anything different?"
99. Baywatch
100. There is always a game on somewhere
budazz
bananaphone wrote:
1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about cars.
4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5. Monday Night Football.
6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8. You can open all your own jars.
9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.
11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on
every shot of someone crying.
12. Your *** is never a factor in a job interview.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere
you go.
17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
19. Your last name stays put.
20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that
everyone secretly hates you.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. The garage is all yours.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
27. You never have to clean the toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can
still be your friend.
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
35. You don't have to shave below your neck.
36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy *** every nite.
37. If you're 40 and single nobody notices.
38. You can write your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
41. Chocolate is just another snack.
42. You can be president.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
44. Flowers fix everything.
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
51. Foreplay is optional.
52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the
room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is
coming by.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
58. You don't give a rat's *** if someone notices your new haircut.
59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without
even thinking (He must be mad at me)
60. The world is your urinal.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover
is
about to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
64. One mood, all the time.
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look
like him.
66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this
one's just too yucky.
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are
wearing.
69. Same work....more pay.
70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
71. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
adjustments.
72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's
population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
79. ESPN's sports center.
80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
81. Bachelor parties whip *** over bridal showers.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the
bathroom.
85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't
tell your friends you've changed.
86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F_ck
it!"
88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you
might become lifelong buddies.
89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not
in the mood.
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a
hammer and throw it across the room.
94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and
anniversaries.
97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with
them.
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice
anything different?"
99. Baywatch
100. There is always a game on somewhere


copy / paste?...
bananaphone
Mostly mine - some from websites
Some collected.
Friends etc.
bananaphone
And you didn't have to quote the whole message just to make your point!
webapp
The European Commission has just announced an aggreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of her negotiations, Her Majestys Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as 'Euro English'.

In the first year 'S' will replace the soft 'C'. Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'C' will be replaced with the 'K'. This should klear up Konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'PH' will be replaced with 'F'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptance of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Government will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterant to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e' in the language is disgrasful, and they should go away.

By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'TH' with 'Z' and 'W' with 'V'. During ze fifz yar, ze uneseary 'O' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'OU' and similar changs vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yar, ve vi hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikutlis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!



======================================

Sourced from another website...

======================================
tidruG
This contest never existed, still doesn't (at least so far).
I think a joke contest would be very very impractical... most jokes would be copied and pasted, and I'm sure each Moderator will have his/her own favourite.. judging a joke contest will be very difficult, unless we have only one judge (like Bondings or *cough*me*cough*).

Please post more jokes in the Jokes forum.
-locked-
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