"HEre is a funny joke"
I am a bad boy !!
Didnt everybody laugh???
thank u,thank u.
I am a bad boy !!
Didnt everybody laugh???
thank u,thank u.
Funny Joke here
Sickening really...
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
"I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids." ????
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
"I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids." ????
That was pretty good.
Here's a South African one for you.
Oom Piet owns a butchery in the Freestate onto which his house is built. One night he hears a noise coming from the butchery. He gets out of bed, gets his shotgun and goes to check the commotion. To his supprise he finds three coloureds trying to steal from him, so he shots them dead.
The next morning Philimon, a regular customer of Peit, arrives at the butchery to collect his weekly meat. When he gets to the counter to place his order Pei says to him " Philimon I have a proposition for you. "
Philimon is very intruiged by this proposition and follows Peit to the back of the butchery. As they get there, Peit says " I will supply your weekl meat for free if you can get rid of a problem for me. "
Philimon agrees to the proposition but wants to know what he has to do.
Peit:" You need to get rid of this body for me."
Philimon:" No problem master."
Philimon takes the guys body puts him in a bag and puts him on the front of his bycicle and takes him to the bridge. He ties some rocks to the bag and drops it in the river, and returns to the butchery.
Philimon:" Master your problem she's gone."
Peit looks at philimon with a look of confussion " Philimon I don't understand" he takes him to the back and shows him another body.
Peit:" he's back"
Philimon shakes his head with confusion, takes the body and proceeds back to the river. When he gets there he ties an even bigger rock to the body and dumps in the river, only to return to the butchers for a second time.
Philimon:" Boss, boss your problem , she's gone."
Piet pulls him to the back and says" Listen, if you can't do the job properly please tell me." and shows him another body.
Buy this time Philimon its very frustrated. So he takes the body cuts the legs off and makes his way back to the bridge. On arrival he ties the legs to the body with some even larger rocks and gets rid of the body.
On his way back to the butcher, he see's a coloured guy in a wheelchair with no legs, headed the same way.
Philimon:" Hey, where do you think you'r going?"
coloured:" I'm on my way to the butcher."
Philimon says with some conviction in his voice" NO you not."
Here's a South African one for you.
Oom Piet owns a butchery in the Freestate onto which his house is built. One night he hears a noise coming from the butchery. He gets out of bed, gets his shotgun and goes to check the commotion. To his supprise he finds three coloureds trying to steal from him, so he shots them dead.
The next morning Philimon, a regular customer of Peit, arrives at the butchery to collect his weekly meat. When he gets to the counter to place his order Pei says to him " Philimon I have a proposition for you. "
Philimon is very intruiged by this proposition and follows Peit to the back of the butchery. As they get there, Peit says " I will supply your weekl meat for free if you can get rid of a problem for me. "
Philimon agrees to the proposition but wants to know what he has to do.
Peit:" You need to get rid of this body for me."
Philimon:" No problem master."
Philimon takes the guys body puts him in a bag and puts him on the front of his bycicle and takes him to the bridge. He ties some rocks to the bag and drops it in the river, and returns to the butchery.
Philimon:" Master your problem she's gone."
Peit looks at philimon with a look of confussion " Philimon I don't understand" he takes him to the back and shows him another body.
Peit:" he's back"
Philimon shakes his head with confusion, takes the body and proceeds back to the river. When he gets there he ties an even bigger rock to the body and dumps in the river, only to return to the butchers for a second time.
Philimon:" Boss, boss your problem , she's gone."
Piet pulls him to the back and says" Listen, if you can't do the job properly please tell me." and shows him another body.
Buy this time Philimon its very frustrated. So he takes the body cuts the legs off and makes his way back to the bridge. On arrival he ties the legs to the body with some even larger rocks and gets rid of the body.
On his way back to the butcher, he see's a coloured guy in a wheelchair with no legs, headed the same way.
Philimon:" Hey, where do you think you'r going?"
coloured:" I'm on my way to the butcher."
Philimon says with some conviction in his voice" NO you not."
Little Johnny goes on holiday to Australia.
When he returns to school, they have a show and tell.
At the start of class the teacher asks who wants to go first?
Before anyone had any time to think Johnny had his hand up.
Now the teacher knows that Johnny is a dirty and rude little bastard, so she proceeds throughout the hole class avoiding Johnny.
As it nears the end of the day, the hole class has told their stories and there is still 20 min left.
The teacher has no choise but to let Johnny tell his story.
So she calls him to hear what he has to say.
Johnny:" Well, when we were on holiday, we went to Australia. One day while we were driving in the outback, we hit a kangaroo in the a*s."
Teacher:" Rectum Johnny, not a*s, rectum."
Johnny:" Rectum, we f**king damb near killed him!"
When he returns to school, they have a show and tell.
At the start of class the teacher asks who wants to go first?
Before anyone had any time to think Johnny had his hand up.
Now the teacher knows that Johnny is a dirty and rude little bastard, so she proceeds throughout the hole class avoiding Johnny.
As it nears the end of the day, the hole class has told their stories and there is still 20 min left.
The teacher has no choise but to let Johnny tell his story.
So she calls him to hear what he has to say.
Johnny:" Well, when we were on holiday, we went to Australia. One day while we were driving in the outback, we hit a kangaroo in the a*s."
Teacher:" Rectum Johnny, not a*s, rectum."
Johnny:" Rectum, we f**king damb near killed him!"
That had to be one of wierdest jokes I've ever heard.
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