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Have you ever dumped someone and realized it was a mistake?





spelbound
I have a burning question, Has anyone dumped someone only to realize that it was a mistake. I ended a relationship about 6 months ago, and after three months, I started to miss my ex. At first i felt like the ex wanted out, so trying to protect myself, i did the dumping. It wasn't so hard, cause i felt I came out unscathed...but after a few months, I realized that i was wrong. I was not going through that guilt period, that many go through in a break up, I really did some bad stuff. Pushing the ex away. We havent talked much, but I received an email today saying that I am loved, however, things are over. But I dont want it to be over.

Has anything like this happened to anyone...whats your story. I am not depressed, nor desperate...I have moved on. I accept my loses, but just curious to hear other stories.

Thanks in advance.

Spelbound
barteacher
Every time I get drunk, all of the relationships I ended seem like a mistake. But, to answer the question, I can honestly say that 1 of them was a true mistake.
Nutorious
Yes, but i didnt realise it was a mistake then, i got back with her 2 weeks later, and i am SO SO glad now that a did go back out with her Very Happy, it will have been 3 years in march, and i am so glad she wanted me back
Marston
barteacher wrote:
Every time I get drunk, all of the relationships I ended seem like a mistake. But, to answer the question, I can honestly say that 1 of them was a true mistake.
Laughing That was good for a chuckle.
Srs2388
I have ended one that I shouldn't have ended I felt so effin' guilty afterwards
like her friend and I had been talking and she said she has been cheating and showed an email saying that she dosn't really like me etc.
well i belived her and asked her if she liked someone else she said no.....
I said bull and told her I think she's cheating and I thought me and her should break up.... (this was about a year ago)
then I found out her friend was lieing and trying to break us up i apoligized to her and me and her got back together and were going out now still on and off though but oh well
stormybaka
I can say i only regret one relationships ending and it still hurts like a bitch, but we are still close and love each other and I delude myself constantly thinking maybe, just maybe we could get back together one day.
Soulfire
I've never really had a relationship that was special enough to make me feel bad after it ended. I'm really young still, and love at my age is merely infatuation and doesn't usually last.
mceejaydee
Don't worry about it, just move on. It's typical everybody says that but you seriously gotta move on.
spelbound
Oh, I have moved on...I am not waiting for the ex to come back...I have accepted it as it is. I just have to deal with the mistakes that I made.
MaiR
Yeah dumping my last gf was a mistake, I thought it would be for the better but now i really miss her and she hates me for the things i said wich im not gonna get into detail about, But only after we broke up did i realise that i needed her more then i thought.

IT WAS A STUPID MISTAKE THAT I MADE AND CANNOT ERASE Sad
otaku
I broke up with my last boyfriend, it was a HUGE mistake. I don't remember why exactly broke up, but i think it was over something really stupid. We had a great relationship and I really miss him.

I don't think I've dated anyone since him.
NobodiesHero
Never had any regrets if I was the one who ended the relationship.

I think it is kinda stupid and shows you didn't take that relationship serious if you break up and after some time decide you want her/him back.

If you love somebody you shouldn't break up and if you don't love you usually don't feel like getting back together is a good idea.
spelbound
I broke up with my ex because my ex could not handle a friend coming to stay with me from another country. This friend is like a child to me, as this friend wants to live in this country. This friend lives in a communist country, and is not happy where they live. Every year, I help this person find lodging, education, and friendship so that this person can be happy for the first time in their life. My ex lived with me, but prior to meeting my ex, I promised my friend from another country some lodging. I told my ex, that if we can get through this, we can get through anything. I just wanted to get this event out of the way, as I keep my commitments. But in the end, I lost everything that mattered to me.

I should have told my friend from abroad that its not a good time to stay with me. I have a new life.

I feel no matter what I did, i would lose. My friend or my ex. As it turned out, I lost both.
knowledge
Some time we are trying to manage situation but it goes out of control. At this time a simple man like me feels the involvement of a unknown power. If I am not wrong in my decisions nothing goes wrong with me, as I belive. Leave everything as it is and try to start a new life coz clock is ticking....................
vignesh_natraj
well this is a very nice topic actually i have been in a similar situation.
Few years years bach there was a ego collision between me and my friend and we ended our relationshi after some fued.But now both of us have realised the mistake but we are not that close and i dont think we can be that close now
atribute
Oh yes I have and felt like going into a hole and staying there. I had a girl who took very good care of me, would do anything but I was the idiot who was embarrased to be in public with her, she was so pretty and I don't know why I did it but im over it now and have but moved on but it sucks and I don't think anyone deserves that experince. Plus you have to put up with her friends and it just turns into one big mess.
Kazingbing
Sadly, I have never had a girl friend Sad Sad
narc
I say bury her in the backyard. I have a website with instructions if you are curious how to get away with it.
alja
I did, many times, until I realized that it was better to be certain of had done all I could before ending a relationship so I would not regret. I wish I would have the certain of the people who write that they don't do or never regret but unfortunatley I am still learning and that is going to be for a while.
Ljsk
Apparantly my last one does. Would've been sad if I wasn't feeling so spiteful. Instead it was just funny.
Scaramanga
NobodiesHero wrote:
Never had any regrets if I was the one who ended the relationship.

I think it is kinda stupid and shows you didn't take that relationship serious if you break up and after some time decide you want her/him back.

If you love somebody you shouldn't break up and if you don't love you usually don't feel like getting back together is a good idea.

I kind of have to agree with Nobodies. I mean you broke up with somone because you suspected they might've wanted out?! Why didn't you talk to them about it? Well, the only thing I can say is let this be a learning experience for you.

Also, I though this was fairly telling:
spelbound wrote:
I ended a relationship about 6 months ago, and after three months, I started to miss my ex.

I'm curious how long you were actually dating said person. Because I would think in ANY relationship it's pretty normal to miss the person, especially after only 3 months. Now, if a year or two goes by and you STILL miss this person, then yeah you've got a problem or made a serious mistake.

spelbound wrote:
It wasn't so hard, cause i felt I came out unscathed...

Wait, it wasn't HARD? Were you even in love with this person?!?
spelbound
I understand completely what you are saying, and I agree. I was beginning to feel pushed out of this persons life. Suddenly, other people started accompanying us on time together, the ex started to fill time with events, and I was sort of left trying to figure it out. I had two choices...one; try my hardest to make this work, risking the chance of getting dumped in the long run, or getting out. I really did not want out, but sometimes its the best thing. The ex did not seem to understand my side of the story, and I tried to talk, but all I kept getting was text messages. I hate text messaging. I think the ex was looking for a way out, and I did that.

I received a letter from the ex yesterday, and it says how much they love me, but cannot be with me anymore. I can live with that. Also, the ex goes on saying that the new relationship does not make it a happy relationship, but is trying to feel the same way the ex felt about me.

Anyways, its over now, and its okay...I am not in desperate times, i am just in a rut.

It wont be long, and I am sure we will be friends, but for now, the only thing for me to do, is let go.

I know I made a mistake, and mistakes prior. I know I blew it. And I know that I have to deal with it. I guess I just didnt realize what I had. But I always say, I will have that with someone else someday. And I will learn from this one.
Tvis
I also know exactly what you mean. But for me it was a little bit more difficult. My girlfriend was from the other part of the world. We met 12 years ago on the internet. Years past as being just friends with contact every once in while. Both ended a 3 year relationship almost at the same time and we decided to meet....it was love at first sight. Because of the money and the limited holidays we could only meet 2 times a year. One day I set up the plan to leave everything behind and move over to that country. I had to learn the language, everything. We lived together for about 8 months but the last 3 months were going downwards. I started seeing someone else, dumped my girlfriend and moved on, but 3 months later I realised that I wanted to be with my ex that I knew such a long time. We started having contact, see changed a lot (for good) and we started seeing eachother again. Now we're back together and it feels great, fortunately it was not too late...
crazedjill
I never dumped someone and felt it was a mistake. However, I did turn down someone to date someone else... That wasn't that much of a mistake because I only dated the other guy for two days. I realized that the person I turned down was the one I that I wanted to be with. I'd known him for a year and we were always just friends.

Now we are engaged. Very Happy
DX-Blog
I once regretted breaking up with a girl, after about 6 months later or so we returned to eachother though and then I realised why I ditched her before, we decided to break up after 3 days that second time, lol.
spelbound
Well you are lucky to have had that chance. And yes sometimes we forget why we broke up in the first place.
heath
I think it quite natural to feel that way... even for a couple of years after. It's funny how after you break up with someone, you only remember the good things. Believe me... there was a good reason you broke up, and if you were to get together again, you would remember them very fast.
essentialmedia
Well they always feel like mistakes but in the end it is usually for the better. There is a reason it ended or even got to that point in the first place.

Shane
bigtwballer
nope, but i have alot more life to live and that unfortunately might happen Crying or Very sad
lockwolf
Hell No, I made the right decision dumping who I was going out with! I was way too good for her, she probably was going out with 5 other guys at the same time
PureSimpleNatural
Well... I can't really say that I've ever made a mistake in 'dumping' anyone.

Sometimes though I feel a little out of place and I think I miss my first husband. But it's really his family I miss, and the happiness of being connected in a family unit that I miss.

I've since married again, and I know that my current husband & I are meant to be together. But we moved away from everything and everyone we know, and somewhat secluded ourselves. So... I feel a bit homesick about how things were like with my first husband, but not necessarily do I miss HIM.

Hope that makes sense.

Otherwise, I've always been the one to be dumped! Rolling Eyes
john672
u never know tho'. even if u dump someone and realise it was a mistake to dump them, chances are that there is still a flare there between you and all you need to do is rekindle it!!!
themeterman
Hi, I had been going out with my girlfriend for a few months and generally treat her badly before dumping her. Then, about a month laer I realised I had made a big mistake and decided to contact her. She took me back and we're still going out together. BUT - I realised I made a mistake in going back out with her again and want to dump her! I can't do it though - it would brak her heart!

Oh well, maybe I'm just going to be stuck with her for the rest of my life Sad
PureSimpleNatural
Hmmmm, what an awkward position to be in!

But, a bit of advice, if you are certain that you two shouldn't be together, break up sooner than later. Waiting is just going to make the heartbreak worst.
helk
Wow, that's just romance speaking i think. Smile

I mean, i want to be in your position just to know what it feels like, but really,
move on!

If you can't transform your relationship into something that really works.
OnlyOneLife
What you could do is get back together. Smile Just tell her what happened!
sniffass
spelbound wrote:

I feel no matter what I did, i would lose. My friend or my ex. As it turned out, I lost both.


I hate these situations, I have the utmost sympathy. One tries to please all parties involved and ultimately everyone is a loser - why couldn't your ex or your friend see the point you were making?? Some people just cannot consider that others maybe trying to help them. Honestly I think you should always be true to your friends and try to help them, gf's come and go and they should fit around your friends. I think you should respect the fact that your partner has friends from before you came together and your partner should realize that you too have friends. And each of you has a responsiliblty to your friends as well as to each other.

If I'm with a girl and she cannot accept that sometimes I must be with my friends, or do something for my friends, or she is suspecting that |I'm cheating on her with my friends. Bye bye I say.

Cheers!
Treemo
yes i have- iregret it.
TiryaQiler
Once I dumped someone, couple of days later I thought it was a mistake, but after a couple of months it seemed to be the right thing. So my answer on this: Yes I did dump someone but it wasn't a mistake
nunosilva
well, no! Actually I've dumped for two good reasons:

- she walked with me in the streets, just like showing "see I've got a boyfriend"
- few days of being together "you're my soulmate, I love you a lot"

Things like that makes me think and become confuse and I really don't like this!
solomagos
The three times i've enden a relationship I didn't felt it was a mistake. Of course I felt bad, not nice, not happy, but it's natural. The last one, I loved the boy so much but... he was playing with me, I couldn't let him do that! So it hurt, but it wasn't a mistake. I deserve something better... i think Confused Wink
MalvagioAddict
I haven't actually dumped, as with some of us here I'm actually been more of a dumpee rather than a dumper. The thing is when I tend to go into a relationship wanting to make it work even with the differences that might arise from the actual relationships. I do have my own quirks that sometimes might be hard for my partner to take at some point, but that's it, you're supposed to take the good with the bad. It's total bs to get only actual good without the problem that comes along with it.

So if ever I do end a relationship, as long as I felt that I really did my best in order to make the relationship last as long as possible then I really won't say that it has been a mistake ending it. You're supposed to make yourselves better not worse with that person.

So If I felt like I was getting worse, then I'd probably be the dumper. Of course, this is only theoretical since I've said that I've been the dumpee twice rather than a dumper. So take it with a grain of salt.
Download
Yes Duh, I think everyone made that mistake, but i'm just too proud to do something about it..

Up to the next girl Very Happy
Ryuukei
No, but I continually turn down requests to go out as I feel it's not really worth my time. Does that count as a mistake?
There is a long heartbreaking story about my Dad though. He continually broke up and got back together with a bitch who ended up cheating on him and getting engaged to another man behind his back. Took his money too, still hasn't paid it back. Of course, I, the wise daughter, knew it was a mistake all along. Us women can sense that about eachother...
Pheonix
nope becuase im with my first ever girlfreind and we will be together forever i can't wait to start a family but i will wait cause im only 16
leftofcenter
I always think I made the wrong decision when I break up with someone (it's a 'stage' I go through, lol) but, looking back, it's a good thing I didn't stay in any of those relationships.
argentum-inn
Yes I have..my first wife.. She was an awesome girl, but like alot of Men, I thought with my gonads, instead of my brain. I did her wrong Sad
spelbound
I really appreciate every single message. I have heard from the ex, but it doesnt look good. The ex is in a relationship...although claims not to be happy. At least not as happy as was with me. But could never be with me again, because of the hurt.

But sometimes I tend to think that people do things as a reaction to actions. Perhaps I made those mistakes, however, maybe there was something to them. I do know that I did some wonderful things, some big, and some just simple little jestures. I just know that I still have the roses I gave, and although roses are a material thing to some...the message was real to me. I sometimes wonder, if my situation would be the same if I was the perfect lover.

Maybe I would have been the one dumped? Question ?

But good things are happening...I have been working out like a monster...changing my eating habits, and having a good time when I spin. So who knows, maybe i wont be thinking about this for too long.
spelbound
Maybe this was just meant to be. If we are supposed to be together...then we will.

Life is strange.
smokey4life
Yes i have, i was in a relationship for 6 years and we ended it. Then i became involved with another girl and got really serious (some would say we fell in love) then the agonony of missing my previous love prevailed and made me dump the one that actually cared for me and treated me right. All of this just so she could turn around and hurt me all over again isnt that some shit!
time_ar
My wife and I went through a lot before we actually got married last year. We did argue. Sometimes they were very big ones. But we knew so sure that we are the one that each other was looking for. I don't know why. I can't explain. But everytime we had some down time, one of us would first take one step back and then both of us started to mend the wound that caused by the argument. Then we moved on, getting to know each other even better. We may argue again and again, but the time we spend together is much more sweet then bitter.
evilryu530
it's understandable to feel like that after a break up. u're lonely and vulnerable. just imagine if you were with that person again, the same situation, the same problems, the same reason why u broke up in the first place. it's ok to be friends, or friends with benefits, just think about can u see urself with that person again? or will things change? But if u find urself super unhappy, then maybe u made a mistake, u should go back. but if u have doubts, stick to ur guns.
spelbound
I understand what you are saying, but I do imagine myself with that person. Sure many would feel lonely and vulnerable however, I dont really feel that. I have many opportunities to meet new people, and trust me, in my job, I get alot of attention.

The real problem was that when I was in this relationship, I was just not happy with myself. I was working 6 nights a week, and was finding myself drinking every night. I am not an alcoholic, as I only drink when I am at work. I am a dj, and i would constantly get drinks bought for me. Many, I would give to friends, but I would have my 2 or three. Because of the drinking, I started to gain weight...alot of weight. And I thought I looked gross. I would look in the mirror and wonder what the ex was seeing. I guess you can say, my vanity and insecurity is was caused me to end the relationship.

But what has happened since the break up, I have carried my ass to the gym, and now, I am in good shape again. It happens fast for me. I dont drink nearly as much...only once or twice a week, and I eat properly.

Its like the old saying..."how can anybody love you, if you dont love yourself." This is what happened. I freaked, and I lost.

I am okay...really with everything. I miss the ex alot, but it does not control me. We will be friends eventually, I am sure of that, and I am hoping that the ex will notice the changes in me. The ex still says that I am loved, however the ex is afraid of getting hurt again. All I can do, is be myself...be there, and hang on to my new confidence. Which was always there...just hiding under a few inches of fat.

Just to let you know, I am a small guy...but when I was fat...180 lbs, I was quite rolly polly. I am now 150 lbs.

Things will be looking up really soon.
jibbity
no ive never made a mistake in dumping someone i shouldnt have but ill tell you what that the chicks who have dumped cant even think straight lol there so caught up in me and the they ****** it all up ya know but you know thats all there fault lol oh anyways they mae a mistake ad i should forgive them right WRONG thats omething you ont fogivr people for for what that shit they did to me
Konvikt
there was this one relationship that i am regretting... it was over something one of my friends told me about her..and me bein the bad boy of the group i had to make an example to them for my rep...and she was the best gurl ive evr had an because i had to be a jack ass shes gone and i regret it every day
xray757
Until now everytime I was the dumped person. But the one situation was, that my girlfriend went for 1 year to australia (we live in germany). She dumped me for her roommate. After she came back (and while she was away) I quit all contact to her (a big part for that is the pain I had loosing her and my new very jealous girlfriend).
Now that the relationship to my girlfriend gets a bit bad (somehow it's not that good as it was the first year) I wish I had contact to me ex, because I don'T think that I will live my whole life with girlfriend I have now. But I thought I could with my ex (until she betrayed me). But time heals all wounds (do you say this as well in english?) and the sex was so good.
ericbobson
The question is...to quote catherine tate, "am I bothered?" I'm too young to love and all I can do is get endlessly frustrated by it...so beef.
ericbobson
The question is...to quote catherine tate, "am I bothered?" I'm too young to love and all I can do is get endlessly frustrated by it...so beef.
fckarlsberg
you cant help falling for the greener grass on the other side, its just that once you get there, you realize just how green your grass was before...
EVILSKAAP
Had something like that happen to me. My current girlfriend was my ex-girlfriend's bestfriend. But the relationship (ex) felt like it was forced. So 6mnths after it was over i got together with my girlfriend. I still wonder what if? How would it have turned out with my ex? I wonder everyday. BTW theyre still bestfriends! NJOY
nopaniers
...
sisadmin
NO!! Very Happy
spelbound
I want to thank everyone for their responses, and I thought I would continue by giving you an update.

Over the past week, my ex and I have been chatting, on the phone. I made every attempt at telling my ex to just let us go our own paths, and that down the road, we might be friends. I generally said goodbye. However, my ex would not take that route, and would come and talk to me. I really wanted to just put it all behind me, yet, everytime it would be staring me in the face. I work in a club, and the ex sometimes goes there. But going there was not the problem, having the ex come and chat with me, when I said not to. So now, we are chatting. We cleared up alot of stuff and all is in the past.

But now, suddenly, we are friends, and I sort of did not want that. I wanted to get over it first.

What is happening? What is the ex doing? Why is my friendship so important when the ex has many friends?

I dont get it...is this a game? Should I say walk away, or should I be patient?

I want us to start again, but I have never been in a situation like this so I just dont understand.

Any thought?
shut up
I decided to break up after my girlfriend went off to a college back in liberalsville... I mean back in the northeastern United States, (same thing Laughing ). But then after oh a month I started to get pissed at myself about it. Now though I have a Job and am planning to move to Montana and start a new business. I don't have much time to sit and think much. but when I dont have muck work to do in the shop I am here, or at home eating or sleeping Cool. I have mostly gotten over it now because she didn't want me to do this job, and I like my work.
2000 Man
I jsut recently broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years...and usually I NEVER date the same person more than once. However, a month later I realized it was the biggest mistake I'd ever made - we're back together now (I got her back JUST in time)....things have been a bit strained at times...but I expect them to get better. Always think this shit through before you do it -- this is one of the few things in life that you shouldn't be too impulsive about...
greenjm90
I've been out with my current gf about 10 times. Give it a go, what've you got to loose?
vortex444
everyone either has, or will.
rwojick
The standard rule is "girls are like jobs, don't quit one until you get another one"...,<wink>
tdb18
rwojick wrote:
The standard rule is "girls are like jobs, don't quit one until you get another one

Well, after this I guess I have to say the same about boys... Cool
tigerlily13
Yep. But that's life, you make mistakes and move on.
It sucks though. Rolling Eyes
sugarbox
I've never dumped any guys.

but I was dumped Crying or Very sad
willowmoon
I guess it depends on the situation.. I have a friend that got dumped about six months ago. She wants him back so bad.. but he cheated on her. I keep telling her that he's not worth her time. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I am married.. and my husband and I have never had any problems. I.. to this day.. want to spend all of my free time with him, and I don't regret anything. I met him when I was 16.. and we didn't get together until I was 18. I never forgot about him.. I knew things would work out.. and I knew that I loved him the moment I saw him. I think that the relationships that work out are the ones that happen fast. We were married in 3 months.. and have been happy ever since!
spelbound
Well, after my first post on this site, there have been alot of good feedback. Thank you all. I thought I would post an update.

So, I have been trying to get over my ex for a bit of time. I made the mistake of contacting him in the past. I work as a dj in nightclub, which he frequents often. So it was hard to follow the no contact rule. I have attempted to say goodbye, but he just would not have it. Everytime I said that we need to go our separate ways, he would show up at the club and tell me we need to talk. I just said that this is not what I want. Well finally we did talk. And it was a decent conversation. But after that, it was very uncomfortable for me. I soon discovered that I was blocked from his MSN which is okay, cause I was now ready to tackle the no contact rule. One which I still practice today. I actually told him to pretend to not know me, and that I was tired of playing his game.

For about 5 months, I have been working out, getting myself back in shape. It was an escape to my everyday sadness, and when I was done, I felt good. And the results have been amazing. I lost 20 pounds and feel and look great. Suddenly, I find my ex has signed up for a membership. I can handle working out at the same gym, I would just have to go at different times than he does. I am not changing my schedule for him, because I work from home, I have alot of flexibility. But tonight, he was working out at the time that I go. WHY?

I then just said to myself, I cannot control where he goes to work out...so its just a convenience for him. I ignored him, as I am holding on to my no contact rule. I will go at a different time tomorow.

Then I find out that I am no longer blocked on his MSN. I just dont get it. Obviously there is something going on, and I just dont know what it is. Why would he conciously unblock me. I figured he would not think of me at all, and once I was blocked, it was the end.

I was starting to feel better...yesterday, I cried for a long time, and after it was all done, I felt better. I had to spin again, so I needed to regain my composure. I was quiet at the beginning of the night, but felt better as the night went on.

I know this is a game, but if its just coincidence...i would like to know this. I really want to get past this, as I cannot date anyone until this journey is over. He is very immature, and really if he really had some compasion, he would join another gym. I live in a metropolitan area, and there are gyms all over. As a matter of fact, there are gyms closer to his home than the one I go to. I live next door to this gym.

so any thoughts?

Thanks in advance
greg1991
you no wat i feel the same but 4 me it is different i moved to a different country and was forced to dump her she has just recently got back in contact and i want her back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 Crying or Very sad
nubster
I have. A few years ago I dumped this really great guy because it was my first relationship and I was scared of the new things I was feeling. In the dating world since, I've realized I have yet to find someone as kind as he was. I regretted strongly for a few months after, and still my mind wanders to it every once in a while.
benatkinson610
i dumpted olivia coz i was drunk and the next day i forgot i did it and got bitch slapped by this weirdo that was in my bed cozi called her olivia !!!!
cveloso
Yes... and i feel sorry for dumping him after 2 years we broke up... i realize he's all i wanted... a partner forever! Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed
mak_27
Never regret the thing you do because since you did something that means that you really wanted to do it. what if you still have feeling about your ex. thats something normal since you probably spent some time with your ex. but a rule to your life should be to keep going until you find the right person for you.
eckbert
to tell my story (and to get points for that free webspace Wink ), I had my first girlfriend one and a half year ago, but I was only a few weeks in relationship with her. Than, on a day where I was in a very bad mood, I just stood up, went out of her room and drove away. Than nobody was calling each other and we haven't heard from ourselfes for about a half year. After that time we had a few telephone calls, but it didn't really change something. But in the last time I saw her more often and her girlfriend told me, that she hasn't had another boyfriend after me (I hadn't one after her too). Now, since about a month she has found a new one.
Today I think it wasn't the right one for me, we were just to different and we even coudn't get nearer in talk (but maybe that this is normal between man and woman Wink). On the other side, sometimes I have doubts, too. I guess this is normal and some people just take it more to heart than other ones. But finally I'm a positive thinking guy and I just had a hard time the last year, so things must even get better, cause I have nothing to loose Very Happy
spelbound
Its true, breaking up with the ex might have been the right thing to do for me, and its also true that missing the ex is natural. I am sure there will be others in my life, and in reality, my ex was going to dump me eventually. I firmly beleive that because of the distance that was happening between us.

Its weird now, cause there was this what I like to call a break up dance, which i am not sure is still continuing. Break ups can be so messy. But, we learn, and we grow from the experience. I dont regret anything I do in my life, I just hope that in the end, there will be a happy ending. I am not saying getting back together...what I am saying, is getting all this stuff in the past. Whether we become friends, or dont speak to each other...I just hope its something we both want, and not something we do, because it what we think the other wants.

Almost all of my ex's have become friends, and good friends. Its just very hard when the past is still in the present. I am not who I am right now, because of this confusion, but once that confusion is done...then who knows what will happen.

My motto for this break up...."One thing has to end, before another can begin"

Thanks
excessivenoise
Hi,

I have broken up and now know it was a big mistake.

The only problem is I dont wanna go through the things she's put me through again.

Anyone have any ideas on what to do?
cbf-cma
I know what you can do, just tell your next girlfriend what NOT to do so you don't have to put up with whatever it was again. It's good to have standards for yourself but you also have to realize that people make mistakes. And unless your express yourself they will keep on making them.

I don't have any regrets over my old girlfriend because she was just plain loopy. However, my new girlfriend is going out to parties while I'm busy procrastinating on doing my homework. I'm not too worried about her though because she's pretty trustworthy. It took me about a month to court her.
lolz
i have not felt any regret for dumping any of my ex.

Sometimes guys just like to look back and think of the good times htey spend with their girlfriend, maybe thats your problem?
spelbound
Well, after some time since starting this post, alot has happened. And its funny how things change. Today, my guilt and regret are being replaced with releif and understanding. I guess what I am trying to say, is that once the cloud lifts when you obsess over another person, you see things for what they really are. Since the break up, we have tried to be friends, tried to play along with the ex's game, even after being accused of playing a game myself. Been cut off completely, only to be un-cut off. Its been a strange, yet interesting journey. A little over six months later, we are not speaking, however, there are subtle little messages that somehow get to each other. Through friends, subliminal messages with MSN etc.

But the bottom line, break ups are rarely mistakes. They happen for a reason, and both people play as big a part in the break up as the other. Relationships are difficult to begin with, and sometimes, you dont know a person till the love blindness ends.

Dont get me wrong, its not that I no longer love my ex, however, I know now, that breaking up was the right decision for both of us.

Never regret the past, as there is nothing you can do about it. Regret and guilt are such useless emotions. They accomplish nothing.

Today, I dont think it was a mistake...it was really only the end.

On to something new!!!
nopaniers
Good luck spelbound.
lyndonray
I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 6 years two months ago. I didn't break up with her well, and when I think about it I wonder how come I haven't been struck by lightening yet. Coz I was an ******. didn't go about it the right way. I wasn't mean or anything like that. i just dumped it on her! Really sucks.

We haven't talked since. but we have been emailing. Its nice because she was my best friend and i still want to be friends. But I don't regret breaking up with her. And I swear to god I hope I never do. i doubt it though. because i looked deep inside and was very honest with myself. More honest than I have ever been and that led me to my decision.

Moral of the story kids: Be honest with yourself. Face the sad, dark truth and take it head on. Don't ignore things and think they will just go away. They don't, they just hide and pounce on you and leave you looking stupid. If you're truly honest with yourselves and think clearly there won't be much to regret.
Mr Smith
Went up to my girlfriend's mates as my girl wasn't there, told them that I didn't like her anymore because she was poor (Duh... they gotta be rich rofl). Only to find out a few weeks later they win the lotteries, They won around 700 grand or something... I was SO PISSED OFF. =/

Amazing to see that New Zealand now has lotteries giving away 9 million bucks :o
udaykamboj
not quite! but yeah sometime I do miss my ex. but no biggie. Sorry
Yazz
Yeah, I broke up with my girlfriend a while back. For 3 days. Then I realized I was too focused on the future to enjoy the present.

Her and I have now been together for about 8 months.

We have a mutual understanding of our situation, so we know that if either of us meets someone better, the other will step off graciously. It's a weird relationship, but there is a lot of love, a lot of passion, and very little room for serious hurt. I give myself totally to her because I'm not afraid of my heart being torn asunder. I'm practically immune to it now. She isn't as sturdy as me, so she's a bit more distant with the whole "devotion" thing. I'm also a bit nutty when it comes to love... >.>
dandan
I'm with ya mate. Like I seriously seriously regret dumping my first girlfriend. I guess I dumped her because of my stupid ego. I sorta asked her if we could restart our relationship but she rejected me Crying or Very sad ... I guess it serves me right.
Caesar_
i dumped one of my ex girlfriend witch i had the best kiss ever... because i was having some kind of negative emotions when i was with her... even tough she was very smart... but not too beautifull... i guess that was a fact too... i donno if i really made a mistake... i think i made what my conscience told me... but she was a great girl... i donno if i will find someone like her...
Ace1988
This is a great post because now I see that I am not the only one out there with the same problem.

With me it happened almost 14 years ago and it still hurts to this day.
Here is what happened...

I had been with this woman for almost 3 years when I was deployed to Desert Stom back in 1991. I was there for almost a year and when I came back we picked back up where we left off everything was great except for the fact that she would not stop asking questions about what it was like over there and just would not leave it alone. I had a hard time dealing with it and was not ready to talk about it so I broke it off with her.

14 years later and a day doesn't go bye that I don't think about her. I am married to a great woman and have two fantastic kids. I'm happy but I can not get her out of my head. A song will come on, a perfume passing bye, the scent of something.

What I guess I am tring to say is that everybody has that one someone in there lives. The fact is life goes on and you deal with it. If you don't you will go crazy think about the what if's.

Ace1988
Yazz
Wow man... that's so sad.

It's even more sad that I've found that girl in my life, but I lost her... It was out of my control.

I understand how you feel, and I myself have been striving to move on for about 2 years now... I hope I can make it as far as you have without accidentally killing myself >.>

-Yazz
dannywebdesign
Sometimes friends are bettr to be lovers? and sometimes lovers are better to be friends. just my opinions
m_furquan36
As far as dumping some 1 is concerened, ive dun that, but ive never regretted it, after dumping her I found the other girls better than her, in SOOOO many ways that I just cant explain, she purely was not meant for me, and yes, i HAD to to move on!
Trapper
My wife broke up with me when we were dating and I was crushed. I truly felt she was the one and she claimed she felt the same. However, she got scared of the commitment and didn't know if she was ready. We hadn't even come close to mentioning the word marriage or even where is this going? We both just seemed to know it was right.

Then out of the blue, she broke up with me and totally dissed me. I stepped back and figured, maybe I was wrong. i was so sure she was the one. I kept in touch with her, more to try show her I wasn't hurting (even though I was) and to also show I was having a great time. She had moved to a big city near where I was living and where I had lived for 6 years. I took time to show her around, bring her to some cool places and just have a great time. However, I left without any fanfare and didn't call her for two months.

Then she started calling me. I figured "this was it". She tried getting together. when it worked for me, it worked for me, but I wasn't going to get burned twice. This lasted for a couple months, but every time we got together I was in heaven (she too). However, finally in the 3rd month I started to let go a little more and not worry if I'd get hurt. It built from there and we got engaged 4 months later. We have now been married for 8 years and have 4 beautiful children.

Somehow deep in my mind, I knew we would get back together. If I could summarize, I did just enough to stay in the picture, but nothing more than to try charm her a little but nothing closely resembling asking her out again. Finally after repeated calls from her (which I loved) we started to slowly date (frequency, not passionately).

I wish you well with your relationship.
Yazz
Tha'ts a lovely story Trapper... I wish I had the same amount of self-control as you... I fear I've ruined all my chances with the girl of my dreams. She's also dating someone who strongly resembles some of my personality, and that's just depressing.

It started as a distance thing, but ended as an infatuation thing.

Now we're good friends again, but I'm scared that this is all it'll ever be and I'll descend back into infatuation some day. For my own, sake, I hope I can find her doppelganger...

-Yazz
talonsmallville
I guess everybody had this experience.
Once someone propose me, I felt temptation but I said no.
Im single yet and sometimes I ask my self if I didnt say yes.
Most times I am sure that I had the right decision but sometimes, I wished say another thing.
alexxa
How to Fix a Bad Relationship
''Poor communication often derails the most important relationships in a person's life. The ability to listen is the best tool you can bring to any reconciliation efforts. This checklist of other pointers can help you patch things up with the parties indicated.
steps:
1. Remember that love is a verb. Choose to love your spouse for better or for worse.

2. Communicate even if it results in an argument. Choose a private place and a time when you won't be interrupted.

3. Outlaw any name calling, references to past history, and cheap shots during the argument. Stick to the issue at hand.

4. Listen to your spouse attentively without interruption. Pay attention to the emotions that lie behind the words and body language. Do not try to change those feelings or offer solutions; just validate them by listening.

5. Don't go to bed angry at each other. Call a truce before bedtime. Most things look better in the morning.

6. Take action. Do something every day that shows your love for your spouse even if you don't feel love. Love has a funny way of creeping back into the picture.

7. Remember that the bond of love grows even stronger after you've survived difficult times............''

http://www.ehow.com/how_116897_fix-relationship.html
brummyphil
spelbound wrote:
I have a burning question, Has anyone dumped someone only to realize that it was a mistake. I ended a relationship about 6 months ago, and after three months, I started to miss my ex. At first i felt like the ex wanted out, so trying to protect myself, i did the dumping. It wasn't so hard, cause i felt I came out unscathed...but after a few months, I realized that i was wrong. I was not going through that guilt period, that many go through in a break up, I really did some bad stuff. Pushing the ex away. We havent talked much, but I received an email today saying that I am loved, however, things are over. But I dont want it to be over.

Has anything like this happened to anyone...whats your story. I am not depressed, nor desperate...I have moved on. I accept my loses, but just curious to hear other stories.

Thanks in advance.

Spelbound



Hi spellbound Smile

I also have done this and often thought about wether it was right or not.

Your subconscious often gives you the best advice although it is probably not thought of in that way at first..

I have found that all relationships form a learning path for us to travel down and find our perfect partner... We just have to listen to the messages.......Often in this situation we recall all teh good times in the relationship and disregard the bad times... One way of letting go is to look at the relationship fully .. Look at all the bad parts and be thankful you no longer have those in your life....look towards teh future knowing you are now 1 step closer to that perfect relationship... Take what you have learned from this relationship........ be honest what have you learned?
brummyphil

Our lives improve only when we take chances - and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
- Walter Anderson
Providence
Carn't say i have really :/
watersoul
Wow, i've made some mistakes in my life (i think) finishing relationships and having 2nd thoughts afterwards - don't we all?

I got married young and when our lovely son was 2 years old we'd both grown up a lot and totally changed into different people so decided to end it because the arguments were too much. Our situation was different to most people we know tho, because we're both totally friends with each other and share one passion - bringing our child up together - yet apart.
Anyway, in the UK someone has to divorce the other party, and we couldnt decide so we played poker to choose who was the one to do it.
6/7 years later, we still work hard together to raise our son as a happy stable little person and he lives with each of us half the week, with occasional events when we're all there (rugby matches, school stuff etc).
Now, the question i always have in my mind (even though we both see other people now) is should we have ended it or carried on?
I'll never know, and you never can know "what if" with anyone, the only thing i do know tho is that whenever i've walked a path in life with anyone, it's impossible to suddenly stop caring for them. I care for all my "ex's" and if i ever think regret, it's only really because of my personal feelings of missing the good things.
Don't think of the bad, remember the good, and look forward to the good thats out there waiting for you! Very Happy
wowz
no, well yes, but no

i have a rule of no second chances

i once broke this rule, thinking it was a mistake... but no, the only mistake was breaking the rule. you must have a good reason for breaking up with someone to actually do it.. i mean, it's almost never a spur of the moment thing. and no one wants to.. i mean, there's so much pressure, embarassment, hurting.. to do so. so you wouldn't do it unless you felt you had to. so even if you have second thoughts after, you have to realize there was good enough reason for you to do it in the first place.. if there's doubt, there's a problem
wannabdoc
well relationship is such an intricate thing. i wont regret it as i know that there are many trees in the forest. if it doesn't work out, just get over and move on
Harmony
I thought it was a mistake but then i found my true love and married him, so maybe it was meant to be.
Sadow
I missed out BIG time on a girl once. She was 16 at that time and I was 19 and we met in the South of France. I saw her one day at the pool, and I said to myself: "If I dare to talk to this girl, I can talk to any other girl". This girl was gorgeous, I mean a princess, the most beautiful thing I ever did see and I've never seen a girl more attractive than this one. I went to her and talked to her, and I told her she was the prettiest thing I ever laid my eyes on. At one point she said she had a boyfriend at home, so I told myself I wouldn't stand a chance. Nevertheless, there was supposed to be a party on the beach that night, and I asked her if she would like to come. When I asked this, I never had the intention to actually ask her out on a date, but I asked her so she would have fun. That night a lot of guys and girls met at the club of this holiday paradise to go to the beach together. While I was there as well and flirting with another girl, I suddenly noticed sweet 16 walking towards us. She looked like an angel. She had noticed I was flirting with one of the other girls and she was obviously hurt and dissappointed by what she saw. She turned around and walked away and I never saw her again... I will never forget her dissappointed face... Brick wall
honestman
I was looking for a girls e-mail that I dumped about fours years ago. I dont know I just kept thinking about her and found a hard copy of an old e-mail from her. It was nice, lovely things said about me. I did feel guilty and I wanted to say hullo to her.

I couldnt find her e-mail address as my PC had since crashed. Today I got a text from a strange mobile phone. You'll never guess but it was her. She found my number remembered it was my birthday and wanted to say. I have been on the phone to her for ages today and its nice.

Problem is that both of us have got married in that time!!! Big Dilemma.
skygaia
I broke up with my last girl friend. We had had great time while we had met. but she's gone because she began to love the other. I think it was my mistake to introduce my friend to her at that time.
She got married to my friend. But i don't regret that now. Because I got mariied to my wife . We have a cute son. I'm really happy.
honestman
Good for you, I am the same married to a lovely woman and wouldnt swap her to avoid the heartaches I have had with my ex-wife.

Life is what you make it.
JokeBoutMaple
If you really love someone, cherish her/him. Also do not do things in the wrong way or causes you to do things in the wrong way. Instead, live a normal life full of lusts/desires and love a person only in a correct way not for lusts/desires. Do not do what the opposite party does not wants you to do.
lara
I had dumped my bestfriend. Silly as I may be but though the story has started as a fairytale I ended up in well... not so great.

It all started when I we met in school. I got attracted with his looks and personality so everytime we got together for even just in a conversation has been heaven. He was nice and what's best was we got along pretty well. We realized there was so much in common about us.

After about 6 months we were very good friends and people started thinking that we are already in a relationship. I still preferred to call him as my best bud. Then he started giving me gifts and being "too nice"... I still believed it was a sign of friendship... or at least that's what I wanted to believe in.

To cut the long story short it was only in a matter of time when he has confessed his feelings for me. I got scared. It would be my first relationship and I thought about loosing him more if the relationship would not be great. I tell myself it was better that way but as the courting went on, I started to try tell excuses just not to get near him.

The friendship got broken and while I was "thinking" about it I didn't realize that the months went by and all those time I have hurted him so much. He sought solace from a common friend.

The sad thing is when I decided to go for the relationship... He has already fallen for the "common friend". Sad
honestman
So sad Lara, if you dont mind me asking, what age r u? i did tha when I was younger and regreted not making the move when part of me said it was the right thing to do. She met somebody else and married him.

He has since died and she has contacted me, but im married now to.

Its life such a bitch sometimes.
JokeBoutMaple
Please refrain from using the word "bitch", it might offend other people...
sumangurung
Well, live is so full of breakups. And everywhere you go you hear about it or even involved in a few. And it is the most happening thing in the history of mankind. No wonder, majority of the songs are about lost love or the likes.
But what i truly believe, is whatever happens, happens for the best. Even if you go back, that was meant to be and if you dont then you are meant to be with someone else.
Life is too short for regrets, after all even if you miss one, the other person is even or even better than the previous. And Laughing you do learn a lot from a broken relationship.!!
Bosleee
ive not regretted splitting up with someone but i have seen one of my ex's and thought "wow wouldnt mind another go at that" but just a spare of the moment thought i think
Scorpio
Wasnt this a sticky?

Who changed it anyway?
bumble84
I dumped my girlfriend earlier on tonight, In hind sight I can see it was haste I was angry at her for letting me down. i felt like she wasnt bothered about me. Im starting to regret it now she was my longest relationship and i guess i get confussed sometimes with how it should go. we had our issues but we got through them and for our eight month relationship to finish how it did on the note how it did i feel gutted and what makes it worse is that i dont think shell forgive me either. it makes me so sad to think how stupid ive been. we gone through some deep issuses together. now i can see the error of my ways. love with her was like heaven love without her is hell.sometimes i didnt apreciate her as much as i should, sometimes love swings round and hits you right in the heart. i was wrong babe and im sorry for what I did. your lalways have a bit of my heart . THE SORRY MISTAKE.
TiffanyTerrorXO
Ive only broke up with one person,
and it was because i felt like i wasn't right for him.
So no i don't think it was a mistake.
Guelila
i regret turning this one girl down some time ago.
she wanted to go out but i said no... I had someone else in mind back then. Sad
ssthanapati
Nope nothing till now I guess!!!!
hiquality
It's never too late to go back...
asim
yeah was with ma first relationship, the girl loved me a lot, i took advantage used her and dumped her. she still loves me but now is married with a kid, never i see her, i realise the maistake i made. But its of use. Sad
pridez
i regret breaking up with my ex and 3 months later i realised what i did..at first i thought i could get him back because he was sooo in love with me he was talking marriage when we were together but little did i know in that time alot changed he changed as a person and now i cant even have a decent conversation with him...i really miss the person he used to be i still see that in him sometime but his trying to avoid it, all his friends tell me that he never got over me but now that i want to make things work i feel like his pushing me away..but his also giving me mixed signals. dont know what to do?
Coen
I agree with the fact that it is never too late to go back. Just work slow and careful. Don't rush things. Basically it's like trying to build the relationship from scratch with the only difficulty you've already had something before.
bbbbb
great post, helps me reading all this stuff Smile
iyepes
Ha, ha, ha. No, with time I only have confirmed that my past relationships have a good place to be..... my past.

Being apart from them have avoided me further problems, even if during the break up it could made me think diferent.
gtoroap
I think that everybody has passed on this situation. But I have a maximum. Dont blame about anything and keep going. So, I enjoy every moment, and past it doesnt matter to me
deanhills
For me the major milestones in relationships are almost like a template. You may think it is a mistake now, but given a second try, it is going to turn into the exact same. You will have a good going and in the end want to get out again. The mistake is in the thinking, not in the doing.
tingkagol
deanhills wrote:
For me the major milestones in relationships are almost like a template. You may think it is a mistake now, but given a second try, it is going to turn into the exact same. You will have a good going and in the end want to get out again. The mistake is in the thinking, not in the doing.

I believe that what you say is true. But the irony is that I always thought this, but never really tried doing a 2nd run.
deanhills
tingkagol wrote:
deanhills wrote:
For me the major milestones in relationships are almost like a template. You may think it is a mistake now, but given a second try, it is going to turn into the exact same. You will have a good going and in the end want to get out again. The mistake is in the thinking, not in the doing.

I believe that what you say is true. But the irony is that I always thought this, but never really tried doing a 2nd run.
Good thinking then ..... Your instincts must be very good, except you're not giving enough credit to them ... none of us really do ... I've been there and have done that and then learned some and wonder whether I would repeat this mistake next time round .... Smile Perhaps that is a template of a kind too, to bang your head against the wall over and over again? Nothing as disruptive, mind boggling and upside down than the world where emotions are involved. We always seem to remember the good stuff and have little memory for the stuff that were not so good. It's also safe to be where the memories are good. Feels comfortable. They lull us and deceive us. As the good memories are always just one face of the truth. Possibly one has to look at both faces. Takes a pretty disciplined person to do that. Who can be disciplined when those special sparks are flying? Shocked
PatTheGreat42
Does it count if I got dumped and think that they made a mistake?
deanhills
PatTheGreat42 wrote:
Does it count if I got dumped and think that they made a mistake?
This is a universal feeling. Join the club! For some it lasts a little while, for others much longer. If we've been in a relationship with someone, particularly when it has really been good, and they dump us, then usually it is logical to think that they made a mistake. In the end their actions count more than "the mistake".
Spike52189
I had a girlfriend a few years ago and it didnt work out. She was busy and I felt like we just fought and stuff. I tried covering up when I left that she wanted me gone and that I was right in just leaving. I miss her now. She was a great friend. Im dating someone now but so often my mind goes back to thinking about old conversations I used to have with her. Dreams and all come to me and Idk I just want it to stop. Does anyone have clue about how to deal with this? I have afeeling its superbly easy
andysart380
im trying to decide wether or not to end a relationship now biut i dont want to find it was a mistake... i just dont feel the connection i used to when we first met its different know...i am too nice top let her go but it would be even cruler to keep her attached if i have no real feelings for her...

what should I do?
tingkagol
deanhills wrote:
tingkagol wrote:
deanhills wrote:
For me the major milestones in relationships are almost like a template. You may think it is a mistake now, but given a second try, it is going to turn into the exact same. You will have a good going and in the end want to get out again. The mistake is in the thinking, not in the doing.

I believe that what you say is true. But the irony is that I always thought this, but never really tried doing a 2nd run.

Good thinking then ..... Your instincts must be very good, except you're not giving enough credit to them ... none of us really do ... I've been there and have done that and then learned some and wonder whether I would repeat this mistake next time round .... Smile Perhaps that is a template of a kind too, to bang your head against the wall over and over again? Nothing as disruptive, mind boggling and upside down than the world where emotions are involved. We always seem to remember the good stuff and have little memory for the stuff that were not so good. It's also safe to be where the memories are good. Feels comfortable. They lull us and deceive us. As the good memories are always just one face of the truth. Possibly one has to look at both faces. Takes a pretty disciplined person to do that. Who can be disciplined when those special sparks are flying? Shocked

Sounds to me like a dishonest person. Laughing But maybe I viewed your take on "discipline" in a different light.

Discipline may or may not do us good in the future, but like you say- when "sparks fly", I make it a point to pay utmost attention to it. It's the determining whether sparks are really flying that's the hardest part, since most of it are illusions. When you can properly discern the truth of your own feelings and mesh it together with reality, then I can say the ensuing decisions you will make are in good judgement. Some people are struggling with it (including me). After all, loneliness is a great motivator. lol Laughing
taytay
Only once. but that was in the 8th grade Razz

no, I usually find out until the worst time that I love a girl. Like the girl I'm with now. We've been dating and just being good friends for the past, oh 7 months. Now she's left for college and there's a sudden cold void in my heart. What's weirder is, we've gone as long as a month before not seeing each other once due to work and family and various other activities. She's only been gone one day and I feel worse than when I went on vacation for 10 days not seeing her. Didn't help that we shared our first kiss the day before I left for vacation.

Like I said, I have such Horrid Timing!
steve1200
Yeah, I've dumped a girl, one year ago. Now, she is a really good friend of mine, and I don't think it was a mistake!
deanhills
steve1200 wrote:
Yeah, I've dumped a girl, one year ago. Now, she is a really good friend of mine, and I don't think it was a mistake!
Doesn't sound like dumping then. Just a change in the relationship by mutual agreement with a positive outcome? Smile
Denvis
As the old saying goes, you don't realise what you have until you lose it. Personally, no I've never had such a problem.
Jaan
if i dump somoene, its to keep her as a ****buddy... if i dont, then yes, yes, its a mistake. Razz
xXDestinyxX
No, I've dumped this guy and I thought it wasn't a mistake it was actully good for the both of us^^
Jamestf347
o tell my story (and to get points for that free webspace Wink ), I had my first girlfriend one and a half year ago, but I was only a few weeks in relationship with her. Than, on a day where I was in a very bad mood, I just stood up, went out of her room and drove away. Than nobody was calling each other and we haven't heard from ourselfes for about a half year. After that time we had a few telephone calls, but it didn't really change something. But in the last time I saw her more often and her girlfriend told me, that she hasn't had another boyfriend after me (I hadn't one after her too). Now, since about a month she has found a new one.
Today I think it wasn't the right one for me, we were just to different and we even coudn't get nearer in talk (but maybe that this is normal between man and woman Wink). On the other side, sometimes I have doubts, too. I guess this is normal and some people just take it more to heart than other ones. But finally I'm a positive thinking guy and I just had a hard time the last year, so things must even get better, cause I have nothing to loose Very Happy
alicia_88
i am actually goin thru that right now as i type..i can already feel the tears coming, i truly feel i made a mistake in dumping my ex..it's been about 4 months from the breakup and we had been together for five years since i was 15yrs old! i just felt like i was missing out cause we had been together so long i never got to experience the whole single thing. and i'm here in another relationship and yea the guy i'm with now is great...i can't stop thinking about my ex, i can tell you i cry myself to sleep just about every night. my ex has gone to my dad a few times to tell him he wants me back but i just feel so guilty for dumping him in the first place, it breaks my heart to know i broke his heart. i was just such a bitch about the whole thing. but i really want him back i feel like he's the love of my life. i want to marry this man i want to have his children. and it kills to know this is the first new year's without him i want him to be my midnight kiss..not my current bf. i just don't know how to go about getting him back or if should even try. it kills me to think we will never be together again....i am so depressed i don't know what to do anymore..........
Raggy_Pro
Yes, unfortunately I did. About a month afterwards I told him I was sorry and I wanted him back, but he told me he wasn't ready for another relationship, and wouldn't be for a long time.
That just left me wondering if he would take me back when he was ready, he never said he didn't have feelings for me anymore. But eventually I moved on, and we're pretty good friends again. All is well.
ChelseaSmile
You bet I have. I'm going through this right now. Here is my story so far :/
I went with a few friends to a campout a while back. There was a boy there that I thought was really sweet (: I ended up kissing him that night even though it was the first time I met him. There wasn't any alcohol or anything so it wasn't anything like that. The next morning when I was getting sorted to go home my friend told me that he actually had a girlfriend... I was pretty confused. Apparently their relationship really sucked though as they were constently arguing. He soon dumped his girlfriend and started dating me. I felt really abd about how we had gotten together. Cheating.. Im not a big fan of it. I really liked him but just couldnt shake the fact we'd gotten together by hurting another girl. I dumped him after just a few weeks :/ A few months went by and he began dating another girl which is far enough.. good for him and everything. Recntly though ive began seriously missing him :( Its not jealousy at all. I just really regret dumping him. We could have worked something out surely? I dont know what to do now. Ive only small talked with him since then and havent saw him face to face since the break up. Him and his new girlfriend apparently argue alot. When i was with him we never argued once nad i was recntly told that he had 'loved me' I dont know what to do at all. I miss him so much. Even if its just as friends because i dont want to end another relationship... Id hide my feelings? Advice anyone? :/
macky
yeah and its too late. That's why now and then i take the opportunity to do everything before compain
rogue_skydragon
No. Everything happens for a reason, and if you do end up getting back together with someone, the relationship is usually something totally different or unhealthy.

Change is good. So move one, change and do better!
Cheeldash
No, but just because i'm very unlucky with girls so it ends before starting everytime.
tomisme
Yes, you can count me in. The hardest part is just trying to forget about it, but that is all I can do. Sad
sudipbanerjee
I am a short tempered person. Several times I dumped my closer ones without their mistakes
jheannie02
This is my story. I was with my ex for 5 years. We had our own apartment, got a dog, lived together for a long time and thought we would eventually get married. We had such a wonderful relationship, he loved me so much and I know he would do anything for me. The only thing was he has temper problems and when we fight, it gets scary because he would yell in my face and say very hurtful things and sometimes call me names then 10 mins later he will say sorry and tell me he didn't mean what he did. Also, sex was not so fun anymore, it felt like I just had to do it only to make him happy. Eventhough he fought for our relationship so hard, I wasn't happy anymore so I ended it and moved out of our apartment. This happened 7 months ago and I am dating someone else now but I still think about him ALOT and what we could have had. He is dating here and there, but nothing serious. He still contacts me once in awhile but not that much lately. He said he really likes this girl he just met and when he said that it hits me. I miss him so bad and I am not sure if I should fight for our relationship or just let go. PLEASE HELP!! Any advice would help my pain. Thank you!
angel143
Well my boyfriend just dumped me after a very good relationship, he was loving, affectionate and making plans for the future, we even had a very expensive holiday paid for, and all the good things right up until he dumped my by phone from work only hours after leaving me. I found out it is because he says he still has feelings for his ex wife whom he was with for 25 years and is going to try and get her back.
I think or hope anyway that it is because he is shellshocked as his divorce finally came though the day he dumped me.
He was very callaous (a side that I have never seen) and told me he never even wants to speak to me again, says he doesn't care and didn't love me (his actions showed he did) which is horrible because we used to be best friends and we made each other our lives.

I kind of hope he will come back. It hurts. It's been 3 days and he can't even look at me never mond talk to me.
dottyfleur1
YEAH I HAVE SHE WAS SO HOT but then we broke up im to shy to ask girls out so i have diffuculty asking girls out
RandomGurl321
..ive made that mistake before...
Well.. This is gonna sound wierd though but
I was in an online game relation ship..go figure..
Well then we added on fb
After 2-3 months our relation ship got really serious
We started to love eachother not online but in real life too
From like half a month after that he was never on..
But after a month ivw been waiting my friend that knee him on the
Online game said he was dead..i believed it because he had this sickness
He had bleeding lungs, he told me he could die.so thats why i believed her..
Half a month later he send me a messege on fb saying his phine number
And to text him..i was so relieved he wasny dead..... :')
So i texted him and he seemed..diffrent.. Like he was a whole diffrent
Person..it was confusing me
He acted diffrent and strted dating girls in real life
He broke up with me for one girl..
After 2 weeks he cheated on him and came crawling nack to me saying that he wanted to be with me..
He still acted diffrent after a month and got another gf and wanted to secretly date me..
Kinda low..but i went with it cause i loved him so much....days past weeks pat 2 months past of him being totally diffrent and dating her..he never even said he loved me anymore... So thats when i broke..
So i ended it with him..i though "he didnt even love me anyways..". Ive been crying ever since..even though we were still friends i secretly loved him...then..he said he loved me through text..i had no idea what was going on. But thia time i think he meant it..not only had i regretted me breaking up with him before but know even more..so we talked about it and he said he'll think if it would work out again..5 daya later her said that it wouldnt...from that day on ive been crying. :\ i still love him but trying my best to get over him.not working out.....well..love is like a fairytail..doesnt exist.. -_- i dont think he ever loved me....so im still thinking about me and him but i dont thimk it will ever happen..so yeah thats my story..so long..LOL
RandomGurl321
[quote="jheannie02"]This is my story. I was with my ex for 5 years. We had our own apartment, got a dog, lived together for a long time and thought we would eventually get married. We had such a wonderful relationship, he loved me so much and I know he would do anything for me. The only thing was he has temper problems and when we fight, it gets scary because he would yell in my face and say very hurtful things and sometimes call me names then 10 mins later he will say sorry and tell me he didn't mean what he did. Also, sex was not so fun anymore, it felt like I just had to do it only to make him happy. Eventhough he fought for our relationship so hard, I wasn't happy anymore so I ended it and moved out of our apartment. This happened 7 months ago and I am dating someone else now but I still think about him ALOT and what we could have had. He is dating here and there, but nothing serious. He still contacts me once in awhile but not that much lately. He said he really likes this girl he just met and when he said that it hits me. I miss him so bad and I am not sure if I should fight for our relationship or just let go. PLEASE HELP!! Any advice would help my pain. Thank you![/quote/] well i think you should go with what your heart tells ya. If you love him, you will love him for who he is. If ge has a temper problem, except it.
thisguy86
I'm not sure this post is still alive since I'm a new member and all, but here's my two cents.

I was actually the one dumped by my girlfriend about 2 weeks ago. She had been avoiding me all week prior to the break-up, spending lots of time with one of her girl friends instead of me. When we did talk (skype, or on the phone), the majority of it was arguing and fighting.

I didn't know where this was coming from, but I somehow had a feeling this was coming. She was going to another school come the fall, which would be too far to realistically continue a relationship - it would have been only skyping or talking on the phone, with the occasional visit between semesters.

Regardless, when she dumped me it hurt, regardless of friends and family telling me that I was better off and that we were just not meant for each other. I spent the weekend sitting in my room, wandering around. I couldn't focus and ended up bombing two important tests because I just could not concentrate.

Eventually my head started to clear and I started focusing back on school again and enjoying "the single life", learning that I needed to focus more on bettering myself before I can date again. Things have been going well until...
thisguy86
...until during class a few days ago, she bombards my cell phone, email, facebook with messages about how she realized she made a mistake and that she was trying to push me away because she believed she didn't deserve me.

Which is crap, because I honestly believe she deserves a guy that will treat her right and care for her, and be there for her when she needs someone to support her or help her. I believe everyone deserves that.

But anyways..she asked me to call after class, so I did and listened to her pour her heart out. That was the most difficult thing to do - I could hear it in her voice that she still cared about me, and that she really felt like breaking up with me was the biggest mistake of her life.

But I just couldn't go back to dating her again. The bottom line is she broke my heart, and if I did ever start dating her again it wouldn't be the same - I wouldn't be able to trust her like I did before. I could never share that vulnerable side of me that couples share with each other...not like before.

We met up a couple days ago, and we talked about everything. It hurts, but we're still occasionally talking (as friends). I told her that I don't mind if she calls me or talks online or whatever, because I want to make sure she's gonna be okay...but I made it clear that we just can't be together again and that I didn't want to give her false hope or give myself false hope.

So that's where I'm at now...we'll see where life leads us from here.

Thanks for listening.
shomesnehanjan
all the time bro all the time!! LoL!!
friho
i once dumped my bf in high school that make me regreted now.he is a very good man and treat me very well . just because i feel shy when my classmates say i have a bf and he is.at that time, loving is ban .so i push him away. and few months ago, he got married ,i feel so sad.
J-DRAD
yea i sure do. we live so close that i keep seeing her and every time i do it seem as if the world just kicked me in the crouch and said what the hell did you do.
mazito
Yes was long time ago , but that is life is about every choice we made, all count dont matter is a tiny choice is part our lives and will have it consecuences
Deferment
Made a big mistake too, i had a relationship with a girl for 4 years, that last year she went many times too "a friend" and came home late. I think i was jealous or something that brainwashed my mind, i thought she was cheating on me but she wasnt. It was just a good friend from her school time who she hadn't seen for many years. I accused her of cheating and broke up the relationship. I still think about her sometime. Now i have an another girlfriend who i can really trust but i still wish i hadn't made this mistake :S
codersfriend
I did,
a while ago I dumped by ex girlfriend because of a relationship developed with another girl. my relationship with the former girl lasted for almost two years.. then after a few months, I got my karma, the girl I've been dating already dumped me Crying or Very sad . After a while I started thinking of my ex, .. crying if only I haven't done it. I know I hurt her.

now I'm abstaining myself to get into a relationship. I'm very depressed now
codersfriend
Deferment wrote:
Made a big mistake too... Now i have an another girlfriend who i can really trust but i still wish i hadn't made this mistake :S


Yes.. I wish i haven't done that Sad
mazito
Deferment wrote:
I still think about her sometime. Now i have an another girlfriend who i can really trust but i still wish i hadn't made this mistake :S


if you feel that way i think your not comfortable with your actual girlfriend, and you was fool yourself,

IMHO.- almost everybody reaimains in love with fomer relatioships, but in diferrent way, i mean you care about her/his, but not so big that you have doubts about it, no matter you realize that was a mistake, if you cant keep out of your mind your cheating, maybe not in a physical way but with the mind and hearth
Deferment
mazito wrote:
Deferment wrote:
I still think about her sometime. Now i have an another girlfriend who i can really trust but i still wish i hadn't made this mistake :S


if you feel that way i think your not comfortable with your actual girlfriend, and you was fool yourself,



Im comfortable with my girlfriend. She would never cheat on me, and i won't cheat on her too, but it's just a facepalm i made this mistake while i had with my previous girl for 4 years, if i were smart enough, i could have known that she never cheated on me in that 4 years. But what happened, happened. I've learned from my actions and would think twice to accuse my girlfriend of cheating on me. I know i broke my ex her heart when i broke up our relationship, that's the reason while i should go back in time to set this right.
vidafenomenal
Yes , absolutely.
mazito
Deferment wrote:
mazito wrote:
Deferment wrote:
I still think about her sometime. Now i have an another girlfriend who i can really trust but i still wish i hadn't made this mistake :S


if you feel that way i think your not comfortable with your actual girlfriend, and you was fool yourself,



Im comfortable with my girlfriend. She would never cheat on me, and i won't cheat on her too, but it's just a facepalm i made this mistake while i had with my previous girl for 4 years, if i were smart enough, i could have known that she never cheated on me in that 4 years. But what happened, happened. I've learned from my actions and would think twice to accuse my girlfriend of cheating on me. I know i broke my ex her heart when i broke up our relationship, that's the reason while i should go back in time to set this right.


sorry if my coment was a little rude, but English is not my first Language, and i tend to talk direct.

with your last post i understand your point

c
Deferment
mazito wrote:
Deferment wrote:
mazito wrote:
Deferment wrote:
I still think about her sometime. Now i have an another girlfriend who i can really trust but i still wish i hadn't made this mistake :S


if you feel that way i think your not comfortable with your actual girlfriend, and you was fool yourself,



Im comfortable with my girlfriend. She would never cheat on me, and i won't cheat on her too, but it's just a facepalm i made this mistake while i had with my previous girl for 4 years, if i were smart enough, i could have known that she never cheated on me in that 4 years. But what happened, happened. I've learned from my actions and would think twice to accuse my girlfriend of cheating on me. I know i broke my ex her heart when i broke up our relationship, that's the reason while i should go back in time to set this right.


sorry if my coment was a little rude, but English is not my first Language, and i tend to talk direct.

with your last post i understand your point

c


Ur comment was ok didn't have any problems with it. English is also my second language (DUTCH on top :p). Maybe also a bit my fault, i should have described the problem better for you guys but u guys do understand it, i hope so :p
mazito
good, we are Ok i am glad
Franzelas
Hi guys,I need your help...
I had a 2 years relationship with (let's call him 'X')...I broke up with him( he was mistreating me ),left his country and moved back in mine....we were talking to get back together and move in London,I said ok,but then right before going to London I meet this guy (let's call him 'Y') I felt his what I wanted,I felt he gets me....so I told to X I won't move with him in London cause I found this amazing guy Y....I moved in with Y in his country , one year passed,his amazing....but the big issue is that I'm still thinking of my ex....we time to time talked,we wanted to get back together but something told me he would not pass over my infidelity and it's his ego that wants me back....I was afraid to not get hurt and not lose Y witch his amazing to me...X wanted me back he asked me so many times but the way he did it it was an angry way,blaming me all the time,I didn't felt it was out of love,it felt it was out of revange,to feed his ego later on.......recently I wrote him a mail saying that I'm getting engaged and I need his blessing....and also told him that all he did in this one year is to blame me but I never felt if he ever loved me.....he answer....saying....he is happy for my marriage,wishes me all the best....he loved me more that I will ever know...but now I should stop contact him,is better this way.....I regret so much that I told him I'm getting engage....I'm back in my country my Y boyfriend his coming in two weeks to visit me.....I'm so mixed up.....I wanna see my ex.....but I lost his respect....in his eyes I'm a married women ....soon I'll be in his country......I don't know what to do....cause I wanna see him,but I don't want him to lose his respect....I'm thinking to right him back saying that I will wait with the engagement .I'm so confused.....I got to see him in order to pass over and coninue my relationship with Y.....I miss holding my ex....I miss kissing him....I feel like a bad person cause my Y boyfriend his amazing.I don't know how to pass over is been a year.pls help
Deferment
Franzelas wrote:
Hi guys,I need your help...
I had a 2 years relationship with (let's call him 'X')...I broke up with him( he was mistreating me ),left his country and moved back in mine....we were talking to get back together and move in London,I said ok,but then right before going to London I meet this guy (let's call him 'Y') I felt his what I wanted,I felt he gets me....so I told to X I won't move with him in London cause I found this amazing guy Y....I moved in with Y in his country , one year passed,his amazing....but the big issue is that I'm still thinking of my ex....we time to time talked,we wanted to get back together but something told me he would not pass over my infidelity and it's his ego that wants me back....I was afraid to not get hurt and not lose Y witch his amazing to me...X wanted me back he asked me so many times but the way he did it it was an angry way,blaming me all the time,I didn't felt it was out of love,it felt it was out of revange,to feed his ego later on.......recently I wrote him a mail saying that I'm getting engaged and I need his blessing....and also told him that all he did in this one year is to blame me but I never felt if he ever loved me.....he answer....saying....he is happy for my marriage,wishes me all the best....he loved me more that I will ever know...but now I should stop contact him,is better this way.....I regret so much that I told him I'm getting engage....I'm back in my country my Y boyfriend his coming in two weeks to visit me.....I'm so mixed up.....I wanna see my ex.....but I lost his respect....in his eyes I'm a married women ....soon I'll be in his country......I don't know what to do....cause I wanna see him,but I don't want him to lose his respect....I'm thinking to right him back saying that I will wait with the engagement .I'm so confused.....I got to see him in order to pass over and coninue my relationship with Y.....I miss holding my ex....I miss kissing him....I feel like a bad person cause my Y boyfriend his amazing.I don't know how to pass over is been a year.pls help


Well i will try to do my best for ya Smile

So, if i understand this right, u broke up with X because he mistreated u, u still miss X so ur talking about a "new meeting". Meanwhile u meet a person who you really love and loves you. But you still keep thinking about X. Why do you still keep thinking about him (x) while he mistreated you? What's so special about X too choose for him instead of Y?
Franzelas
Well,we started to talk and apparently he still waits for me to decide...meanwhile he blames all on me,I have to decide in between X witch is the ex and Y witch is my boyfriend now,and his amazing guy...that I would be crush to hurt him....I mean the guilt is my main struggle over here.....is been one year already and I'm still obsessed with my ex......what is wrong with me ?why can't I move on?....is this one of those situation where I get back with my ex and after few months I will realize that the break up was for a reason,or his gonna break up so his ego will grow ....or I realize I love my actual boyfriend and is gonna be to late cause I hurt his trust......or I'm gonna live all my life thinking of my ex?......what is it?I'm so confused I'm playing with 3 hearts over here I sleep 2 h per night since I arrived home....and soon I'll be in his country for a week....oh gosh I'm so confused....
HELP
thatshortchick
Happened to me Monday. I broke up with him cause I thought he made me unhappy, but it was my dramatic high school friends making me miserable, not him. I also saw him get really drunk once and thought it was like that every time, cause he puked and everything. But it's not always like that, and I know all this now.... AFTER the fact :/ I still love him and I know he still loves me but he says he doesn't wanna get hurt again and knows it will be inevitable that we break up again. It's sad, I was even sobbing the entire way through the break up so it's not like I didn't care for him. Sometimes you don't realize what you had until it's gone though so if you still feel like fighting for him/her go for it. I'm a girl and embarrassed to say this, but I'm gonna fight. As much of a guy role that is, I'm gonna fight.
melmel999
nearly 4 years ago when i broke up with my bf of 4 years and a half , i thought i loved someone else then got with them and it lasted 3 days... i hated myself after that cause i relized what a mistake i made and now were friends and i cant stand it cause it makes my feeling for him worse but whenever i try to get back with him he goes off with me cause he thinks i used him and Sad
BigGeek
Being older than most here, I have dumped women from my life, but I have never come to think of it as a mistake. I have been dumped, and just recently met a woman had a 3 month relationship with her, only to be dumped and told to never ever contact her again. That was out of the blue too, because the night before she dumped me, we had gone to dinner and a concert, and had a great time like we always did, with her telling me she loved me and wanted me to marry her. Next day I get a call and I'm asked to never try and contact her again. I have no idea what happened, but something changed over night.

Few months after that I ran into an old girl friend from 20 years ago, she admitted that she had made a mistake back then in dumping me, and we are giving it a second try, 20 years later.

Go figure! Wink
Love23
I was about i think 13 and i dated my best friend gage vincent and i loved him truly but then one day something happened and i wanted to tell him about it but he just ingored me so i said well u can ignore me but i can do something 10 times worst and i broke up with him and i wanted him back i told him i made a hige mistake but he never believed me i poured my heart out to him we didnt even fate for a week but we were best friends and i loved him more than anyone who i ever dated i still think about him today and im 34
the_yearling
I just broke up with my boyfriend yesterday, and I feel terrible.
He was so good to me! He always treated me nice in public, and in private.
He had the sweetest way of saying things.
He was always fixing little things that I would have problems with, like giving me a blanket when mine got ruined, bringing over snacks if the cabinets were empty, always gave me his jacket when I was cold.
He's responsible, awesome, great with kids.

But I felt like we have been drifting apart. I stopped finding his jokes funny, and I felt like we weren't communicating. I work full time and go to school full time, so we don't have a lot of time to see eachother. And when we did, I felt like he wasn't giving me a lot of attention, or listening when I would tell him about my life. But now,... I feel like my world is falling apart. I hope this feeling passes quickly. I love him so much, and it's so strange to feel like he isn't the right one for me when there are so many great qualities about him. I need him in my life, but the way it's been the past six months or so, he hasn't really been in it regardless of my pleas to him.

I want him to try to fix things, but at the same time I don't know if he is capable. I think his lack of communication is just a part of his personality, but that quality manages to make me feel alone. It just sucks to love someone so much, and have to say goodbye. I want him by my side so bad.
iiinvest
Any experience I've had with breaking up with an ex has actually been a wonderful learning experience of myself and how to interact with another in a relationship and have no regrets in the past (though at one point I did regret my past relationships). I feel it's about the timing and though there were good times and bad times with that girl, it just wasn't meant to work out at that time.

One thing that added to the demise of my last relationship was the ex's lack of commitment and desire to keep wondering about the "greener grass" on the other side and experiment with other guys. I treated her really well but she wanted something different. Truthfully, I've come to the conclusion that if you keep looking out for something else that is better, you'll never be happy. It's like greed, you'll never be happy with the amount of money you have if you think buying things will bring happiness. A vicious negative feedback cycle. I couldn't handle it so I decided to break it off because I know she wouldn't change.

I could have regretted what happened because she is successful and an all around good person but I didn't. I learned in that relationship, found what I like and dislike and have moved on to something that I truly am proud of where I get treated great and receive the same amount of love that I put in. Though my fiancee has some cons, I can stand them because I know what is right for me.

So my advice, take notice of your feelings of regret and accept them. If you look at the last relationship as a learning experience, you'll be better prepared for the right person that does come along.
lrj945
After a while I started thinking of my ex, .. crying if only I haven't done it. I know I hurt her. I think i was jealous or something that brainwashed my mind, i thought she was cheating on me but she wasnt. It was just a good friend from her school time who she hadn't seen for many years. I accused her of cheating and broke up the relationship. Regardless, when she dumped me it hurt, regardless of friends and family telling me that I was better off and that we were just not meant for each other. I spent the weekend sitting in my room, wandering around. I couldn't focus and ended up bombing two important tests because I just could not concentrate.
sdfklsdfjioibh
okay this relationship sounds pretty crazy. you do not seem like you are over it if you are talking about it this much. if you had then where is all the talk about your new relationship? this seems like you were in denial for about four months or longer.. i hate to break it to you, but you probably do not have a third chance with this person. guess they really got to your heart the first time and you should have been ready for it, but you werent. you probably should have respected what you guys had but didnt... sounds like a situation that i went through. im def over it. i wonder if they got that yet? idkk still give me problems and put everyone thru hell for some reason even when nothing has happened to them or they havent been contacted. guess they need the attention? or who knows. they feel that have that right? idk maybe because they were hurt so badly... who knows. good luck.
Broken
hI EVEN i AM IN SAME SITUATION PLS HELP !!
Deferment wrote:
Franzelas wrote:
Hi guys,I need your help...
I had a 2 years relationship with (let's call him 'X')...I broke up with him( he was mistreating me ),left his country and moved back in mine....we were talking to get back together and move in London,I said ok,but then right before going to London I meet this guy (let's call him 'Y') I felt his what I wanted,I felt he gets me....so I told to X I won't move with him in London cause I found this amazing guy Y....I moved in with Y in his country , one year passed,his amazing....but the big issue is that I'm still thinking of my ex....we time to time talked,we wanted to get back together but something told me he would not pass over my infidelity and it's his ego that wants me back....I was afraid to not get hurt and not lose Y witch his amazing to me...X wanted me back he asked me so many times but the way he did it it was an angry way,blaming me all the time,I didn't felt it was out of love,it felt it was out of revange,to feed his ego later on.......recently I wrote him a mail saying that I'm getting engaged and I need his blessing....and also told him that all he did in this one year is to blame me but I never felt if he ever loved me.....he answer....saying....he is happy for my marriage,wishes me all the best....he loved me more that I will ever know...but now I should stop contact him,is better this way.....I regret so much that I told him I'm getting engage....I'm back in my country my Y boyfriend his coming in two weeks to visit me.....I'm so mixed up.....I wanna see my ex.....but I lost his respect....in his eyes I'm a married women ....soon I'll be in his country......I don't know what to do....cause I wanna see him,but I don't want him to lose his respect....I'm thinking to right him back saying that I will wait with the engagement .I'm so confused.....I got to see him in order to pass over and coninue my relationship with Y.....I miss holding my ex....I miss kissing him....I feel like a bad person cause my Y boyfriend his amazing.I don't know how to pass over is been a year.pls help


Well i will try to do my best for ya Smile

So, if i understand this right, u broke up with X because he mistreated u, u still miss X so ur talking about a "new meeting". Meanwhile u meet a person who you really love and loves you. But you still keep thinking about X. Why do you still keep thinking about him (x) while he mistreated you? What's so special about X too choose for him instead of Y?
Coen
Looking on it without involving any emotion I would opt for staying with person Y, especially seeing person X mistreated you. Do not forget that there was a reason for breaking up, namely being mistreated. If this other person really loves you, and if you are happy with that person then why give all of that up? If you love person Y then I would suggest staying with that person. Mind you, this is in all black and white, I realize that the actual situation is far more complicated.

Ask yourself why you would want to be with person X, what would you achieve and what is to say that the same things that happened previously will not happen again? If this new person understands you then it sounds like you are happy with that person. If you're not, then maybe you should reconsider the relationship. Missing someone is okay, and human. But missing is not loving, and I would want to marry the person I love, regardless of who I might miss.
maynar7231
I break up with this girl and i went back with her. 3 day later i break up with her a again and really want her back. we have been chatting in text messeges but i dont think she will take me back.
I break up with her because i was worried about being in a relationship but the thing is i want want a relationship with this girl. I like her so much.

help! I dont know what to do
IS02
I broke up with my girlfriend of a year last Saturday and regretted it the morning after. I really love her and texted her that morning saying I wanted her back and had made a mistake. But she was deeply hurt by me especially the way I did it I broke up with her over the phone late at night whilst she was on a sleepover shift at the care home where she works. No one needs to tell me how much of an arsehole I am because trust me I know and hate myself right now. She says she doesn't know if we can ever be together again because I broke her heart and was really cruel btu that she wanst me to wait a few months so she can figure out what she wants. I just really despise myself I have ruined a good thing and now her family her friends hate me and worse I have lost her.
therimalaya
I've never... I think will never be able to realize the feeling since i'm not going to dump anyone in future as well.
donoob88
i ignore some girls but i don't think it was a mistake, well, my girl now is nicer than them, more prettier too Very Happy
________________
if you don't want commit mistake from your mouth, don't talk Very Happy
canttouchdis
just the other day, i dumped a girl, thinking it was the right thing to do, i dumped her for another girl, who i do love, but don't feel as happy with. The girl i dumped, was lovely and made me so happy, i got pressured into letting her go, now there is NO way she will take me back :'(
Bluedoll
Changing your status might be the best thing to do. It does not mean it will be easy though. There may be a period of adjustment. You might for example be alone for a long time. Dumping always sounded like a lousy term but what way to describe it? the end
tamarra
My life was so out of place earlier this year since my boy-friend of 4 years left me. It was a rough road for me and felt like giving up, but I am so happy I found priestoflovespell. he helped me get my man back and and make him understand that he must help to pay some of my bills for me. When we got back together it felt so right. I'm telling you people priestoflovespell@yahoo.com is the best caster I've seen thus far Tamara,
pauline5765
No. I make sure that for every breakup, I will not regret what I have done. Of course, there are times that I long for their presence. But that's it. I still don't regret it.

I'm the type of person that never goes back to my ex. Past is past.
That's why... I never break up with someone whom I dearly love. I do everything for them and give everything I can offer as long as I love them. Even if I don't love them anymore, I still continue the relationship... until I have reached my limit.

Once I reach my limit, love has already been long gone. And I have lost my will and hope to continue the relationship.

So I never regret a break up.
Smuvis
I broke up with my boyfriend today after 1yr together because he wanted to join the Royal Airforce and I didn't feel I was strong enough to stand by him. I regretted it instantly and have been crying all day/night
ZeytinGrafik
No, i do not think that you should regret it. I never ever had any regrets till now. You just get used to their presence.
Insanity
That's why you should think things through completely before making a decision like this, so that there are as few regrets as possible. Otherwise, it just takes time to get used to it.
Kimbutler001
Firstly, i want to thank Dr khakani for what he has done for me, am so happy today and i have stopped thinking and all my depression and predicament is over. After my husband steve left me for another woman, he said i was not good enough and that he hates me. I cried because i really love steve with all my heart. Then i decided to come online to look for a spell caster to help me bring back steve, all they kept doing was to collect my money and nothing was being done. Until God directed dr khakani to me. At first when i met dr khakani i was thinking he also want to collect my money for nothing, but he told me to give him a chance that what will he gain if he add pain to my pain. That all he want is my happiness. So i decided to give him a chance, and he told me that steve will be back in my arms within 48hours, and i said okay. Truly when dr khakani casted this spell, my husband steve called me that he wanted to tell me something...i was shocked. He told me that i should forgive him, that he loves me with all his heart and he promise me never to leave me again and to love me forever. Dr khakani also told me that when steve comes back to me, he's going to buy me a gift. Steve bought me a brand new car, and i also have access to his account to prove to me that he will never leave me. That was how dr khakani stopped me from crying and i got over my deppression and predicament. You can contact dr khakani for any kind of help and he will never disappiont you. His private email: khakanibestsolutioncentre12@gmail.com or cell phone number +2348062216903
TheLimey
No I have not. Usually when breaking up with someone following your gut feeling means it is the right thing to do. It is best for you and her (even though she may not see it). However, you may regret it because of the fact you see that you hurt someone. Do not mistake that for feelings still being around.
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loveandormoney
spelbound wrote:
I have a burning question, Has anyone dumped someone only to realize that it was a mistake. I ended a relationship about 6 months ago, and after three months, I started to miss my ex. At first i felt like the ex wanted out, so trying to protect myself, i did the dumping. It wasn't so hard, cause i felt I came out unscathed...but after a few months, I realized that i was wrong. I was not going through that guilt period, that many go through in a break up, I really did some bad stuff. Pushing the ex away. We havent talked much, but I received an email today saying that I am loved, however, things are over. But I dont want it to be over.

Has anything like this happened to anyone...whats your story. I am not depressed, nor desperate...I have moved on. I accept my loses, but just curious to hear other stories.

Thanks in advance.

Spelbound


This thread is 7 years old
but this problem happen everyday.

So talk with Your darling about

what is the difference
to use somebody
to love somebody.

Regards
loveandormoney
The cheaper way is:
To make peace.
loveandormoney
So are You happy.
I think it is a good idea
to want to be happy.
kaylors
I've only ever done two things in my life that I truly regret. One I won't discuss, just now. And the other is having ended my relationship with a girl who was more than just my girlfriend. She was also my best friend.

The relationship had to end, that much was clear. Things weren't going how they should...we weren't compatible as lovers. But I shouldn't have ended it how I did. I should been a friend. And I will never be able to apologize enough for it.
loveandormoney
Quote:

The relationship had to end, that much was clear. Things weren't going how they should.


The relationship had to end,


Is a man not a part of the relationship.

Does in Your country the woman rule and the men follow?


Things weren't going how they should.

What kind of things?
The car?
The pool.

Did it rain to much?


Is love oldfashioned and out, only?
TheLimey
No I have never regretted breaking up with someone. Even though it does take a lot of thought to do so. Your ex is your ex for a reason... the hard part is remembering the things they did that caused that to happen. We tend to remember the good times. No regrets!
TheLimey
Just dont be a **** and do it over text. Man up and do it in person.
loveandormoney
Quote:

the hard part is remembering the things they did that caused that to happen.



Is relationship a crime?
Or is only sex a crime?
zaqmugo
spelbound wrote:
I have a burning question, Has anyone dumped someone only to realize that it was a mistake. I ended a relationship about 6 months ago, and after three months, I started to miss my ex. At first i felt like the ex wanted out, so trying to protect myself, i did the dumping. It wasn't so hard, cause i felt I came out unscathed...but after a few months, I realized that i was wrong. I was not going through that guilt period, that many go through in a break up, I really did some bad stuff. Pushing the ex away. We havent talked much, but I received an email today saying that I am loved, however, things are over. But I dont want it to be over.

Has anything like this happened to anyone...whats your story. I am not depressed, nor desperate...I have moved on. I accept my loses, but just curious to hear other stories.

Thanks in advance.

Spelbound


Yes. But its usually not a good idea to revisit a broken relationship.
loveandormoney
Only
if You did change yourself.


Running against a wall is self hurting.
jamesparker
No, I never dumped any one. Confused
loveandormoney
jamesparker wrote:
No, I never dumped any one. Confused


Then You are happy.

All humans should copy you.
codersfriend
You have to let go and move on somehow
loveandormoney
codersfriend wrote:
You have to let go and move on somehow


Going backward?
Doing same mistake again?
Funny?
tonberry
I had a girlfriend who was very cool and I liked her, but it just didn't click the right way. So despite not liking the fact that she will be hurt, I dumped her. But then I thought of it as a mistake and decided to get together again. Two weeks later, I dumped her again, this time permanently. Better to think long and make a proper strong decision for good, I guess.
loveandormoney
tonberry wrote:
I had a girlfriend who was very cool and I liked her, but it just didn't click the right way. So despite not liking the fact that she will be hurt, I dumped her. But then I thought of it as a mistake and decided to get together again. Two weeks later, I dumped her again, this time permanently. Better to think long and make a proper strong decision for good, I guess.


Please
what is the meaning of dumping?
tonberry
You say you dump someone when you end a relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend. You can also say dump in other contexts, ie. people in gangster movies constantly "dump bodies" of their enemies who were dumb enough to cross their corrupted asses. Some shady corporations also do this thing called "toxic waste dump", which means they illegally dispose of toxic waste which is very hazardous to the environment and can't just be -dumped- to a river etc.. As you can see, it's a nasty word this 'dumping'.
loveandormoney
tonberry wrote:
You say you dump someone when you end a relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend. You can also say dump in other contexts, ie. people in gangster movies constantly "dump bodies" of their enemies who were dumb enough to cross their corrupted asses. Some shady corporations also do this thing called "toxic waste dump", which means they illegally dispose of toxic waste which is very hazardous to the environment and can't just be -dumped- to a river etc.. As you can see, it's a nasty word this 'dumping'.


Isnt there a difference between
dumping darling
and
dumping enemies?

I know, there is a lot of violence in relatiionships
and a lot of humans are in prison because of violence and dumping against their partner.

But piease
where is the meaning to do that.?
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