I have a burning question, Has anyone dumped someone only to realize that it was a mistake. I ended a relationship about 6 months ago, and after three months, I started to miss my ex. At first i felt like the ex wanted out, so trying to protect myself, i did the dumping. It wasn't so hard, cause i felt I came out unscathed...but after a few months, I realized that i was wrong. I was not going through that guilt period, that many go through in a break up, I really did some bad stuff. Pushing the ex away. We havent talked much, but I received an email today saying that I am loved, however, things are over. But I dont want it to be over.
Has anything like this happened to anyone...whats your story. I am not depressed, nor desperate...I have moved on. I accept my loses, but just curious to hear other stories.
Thanks in advance.
Spelbound
Every time I get drunk, all of the relationships I ended seem like a mistake. But, to answer the question, I can honestly say that 1 of them was a true mistake.
Yes, but i didnt realise it was a mistake then, i got back with her 2 weeks later, and i am SO SO glad now that a did go back out with her 
, it will have been 3 years in march, and i am so glad she wanted me back | barteacher wrote: |
| Every time I get drunk, all of the relationships I ended seem like a mistake. But, to answer the question, I can honestly say that 1 of them was a true mistake. |
That was good for a chuckle.I have ended one that I shouldn't have ended I felt so effin' guilty afterwards
like her friend and I had been talking and she said she has been cheating and showed an email saying that she dosn't really like me etc.
well i belived her and asked her if she liked someone else she said no.....
I said bull and told her I think she's cheating and I thought me and her should break up.... (this was about a year ago)
then I found out her friend was lieing and trying to break us up i apoligized to her and me and her got back together and were going out now still on and off though but oh well
I can say i only regret one relationships ending and it still hurts like a bitch, but we are still close and love each other and I delude myself constantly thinking maybe, just maybe we could get back together one day.
I've never really had a relationship that was special enough to make me feel bad after it ended. I'm really young still, and love at my age is merely infatuation and doesn't usually last.
Don't worry about it, just move on. It's typical everybody says that but you seriously gotta move on.
Oh, I have moved on...I am not waiting for the ex to come back...I have accepted it as it is. I just have to deal with the mistakes that I made.
Yeah dumping my last gf was a mistake, I thought it would be for the better but now i really miss her and she hates me for the things i said wich im not gonna get into detail about, But only after we broke up did i realise that i needed her more then i thought.
IT WAS A STUPID MISTAKE THAT I MADE AND CANNOT ERASE 
I broke up with my last boyfriend, it was a HUGE mistake. I don't remember why exactly broke up, but i think it was over something really stupid. We had a great relationship and I really miss him.
I don't think I've dated anyone since him.
Never had any regrets if I was the one who ended the relationship.
I think it is kinda stupid and shows you didn't take that relationship serious if you break up and after some time decide you want her/him back.
If you love somebody you shouldn't break up and if you don't love you usually don't feel like getting back together is a good idea.
I broke up with my ex because my ex could not handle a friend coming to stay with me from another country. This friend is like a child to me, as this friend wants to live in this country. This friend lives in a communist country, and is not happy where they live. Every year, I help this person find lodging, education, and friendship so that this person can be happy for the first time in their life. My ex lived with me, but prior to meeting my ex, I promised my friend from another country some lodging. I told my ex, that if we can get through this, we can get through anything. I just wanted to get this event out of the way, as I keep my commitments. But in the end, I lost everything that mattered to me.
I should have told my friend from abroad that its not a good time to stay with me. I have a new life.
I feel no matter what I did, i would lose. My friend or my ex. As it turned out, I lost both.
Some time we are trying to manage situation but it goes out of control. At this time a simple man like me feels the involvement of a unknown power. If I am not wrong in my decisions nothing goes wrong with me, as I belive. Leave everything as it is and try to start a new life coz clock is ticking....................
well this is a very nice topic actually i have been in a similar situation.
Few years years bach there was a ego collision between me and my friend and we ended our relationshi after some fued.But now both of us have realised the mistake but we are not that close and i dont think we can be that close now
Oh yes I have and felt like going into a hole and staying there. I had a girl who took very good care of me, would do anything but I was the idiot who was embarrased to be in public with her, she was so pretty and I don't know why I did it but im over it now and have but moved on but it sucks and I don't think anyone deserves that experince. Plus you have to put up with her friends and it just turns into one big mess.
Sadly, I have never had a girl friend I say bury her in the backyard. I have a website with instructions if you are curious how to get away with it.
I did, many times, until I realized that it was better to be certain of had done all I could before ending a relationship so I would not regret. I wish I would have the certain of the people who write that they don't do or never regret but unfortunatley I am still learning and that is going to be for a while.
Apparantly my last one does. Would've been sad if I wasn't feeling so spiteful. Instead it was just funny.
| NobodiesHero wrote: |
Never had any regrets if I was the one who ended the relationship.
I think it is kinda stupid and shows you didn't take that relationship serious if you break up and after some time decide you want her/him back.
If you love somebody you shouldn't break up and if you don't love you usually don't feel like getting back together is a good idea. |
I kind of have to agree with Nobodies. I mean you broke up with somone because you suspected they might've wanted out?! Why didn't you talk to them about it? Well, the only thing I can say is let this be a learning experience for you.
Also, I though this was fairly telling:
| spelbound wrote: |
| I ended a relationship about 6 months ago, and after three months, I started to miss my ex. |
I'm curious how long you were actually dating said person. Because I would think in ANY relationship it's pretty normal to miss the person, especially after only 3 months. Now, if a year or two goes by and you STILL miss this person, then yeah you've got a problem or made a serious mistake.
| spelbound wrote: |
| It wasn't so hard, cause i felt I came out unscathed... |
Wait, it wasn't HARD? Were you even in love with this person?!?I understand completely what you are saying, and I agree. I was beginning to feel pushed out of this persons life. Suddenly, other people started accompanying us on time together, the ex started to fill time with events, and I was sort of left trying to figure it out. I had two choices...one; try my hardest to make this work, risking the chance of getting dumped in the long run, or getting out. I really did not want out, but sometimes its the best thing. The ex did not seem to understand my side of the story, and I tried to talk, but all I kept getting was text messages. I hate text messaging. I think the ex was looking for a way out, and I did that.
I received a letter from the ex yesterday, and it says how much they love me, but cannot be with me anymore. I can live with that. Also, the ex goes on saying that the new relationship does not make it a happy relationship, but is trying to feel the same way the ex felt about me.
Anyways, its over now, and its okay...I am not in desperate times, i am just in a rut.
It wont be long, and I am sure we will be friends, but for now, the only thing for me to do, is let go.
I know I made a mistake, and mistakes prior. I know I blew it. And I know that I have to deal with it. I guess I just didnt realize what I had. But I always say, I will have that with someone else someday. And I will learn from this one.
I also know exactly what you mean. But for me it was a little bit more difficult. My girlfriend was from the other part of the world. We met 12 years ago on the internet. Years past as being just friends with contact every once in while. Both ended a 3 year relationship almost at the same time and we decided to meet....it was love at first sight. Because of the money and the limited holidays we could only meet 2 times a year. One day I set up the plan to leave everything behind and move over to that country. I had to learn the language, everything. We lived together for about 8 months but the last 3 months were going downwards. I started seeing someone else, dumped my girlfriend and moved on, but 3 months later I realised that I wanted to be with my ex that I knew such a long time. We started having contact, see changed a lot (for good) and we started seeing eachother again. Now we're back together and it feels great, fortunately it was not too late...
I never dumped someone and felt it was a mistake. However, I did turn down someone to date someone else... That wasn't that much of a mistake because I only dated the other guy for two days. I realized that the person I turned down was the one I that I wanted to be with. I'd known him for a year and we were always just friends.
Now we are engaged. I once regretted breaking up with a girl, after about 6 months later or so we returned to eachother though and then I realised why I ditched her before, we decided to break up after 3 days that second time, lol.
Well you are lucky to have had that chance. And yes sometimes we forget why we broke up in the first place.
I think it quite natural to feel that way... even for a couple of years after. It's funny how after you break up with someone, you only remember the good things. Believe me... there was a good reason you broke up, and if you were to get together again, you would remember them very fast.
Well they always feel like mistakes but in the end it is usually for the better. There is a reason it ended or even got to that point in the first place.
Shane
nope, but i have alot more life to live and that unfortunately might happen 
Hell No, I made the right decision dumping who I was going out with! I was way too good for her, she probably was going out with 5 other guys at the same time
Well... I can't really say that I've ever made a mistake in 'dumping' anyone.
Sometimes though I feel a little out of place and I think I miss my first husband. But it's really his family I miss, and the happiness of being connected in a family unit that I miss.
I've since married again, and I know that my current husband & I are meant to be together. But we moved away from everything and everyone we know, and somewhat secluded ourselves. So... I feel a bit homesick about how things were like with my first husband, but not necessarily do I miss HIM.
Hope that makes sense.
Otherwise, I've always been the one to be dumped! 
u never know tho'. even if u dump someone and realise it was a mistake to dump them, chances are that there is still a flare there between you and all you need to do is rekindle it!!!
Hi, I had been going out with my girlfriend for a few months and generally treat her badly before dumping her. Then, about a month laer I realised I had made a big mistake and decided to contact her. She took me back and we're still going out together. BUT - I realised I made a mistake in going back out with her again and want to dump her! I can't do it though - it would brak her heart!
Oh well, maybe I'm just going to be stuck with her for the rest of my life Hmmmm, what an awkward position to be in!
But, a bit of advice, if you are certain that you two shouldn't be together, break up sooner than later. Waiting is just going to make the heartbreak worst.
Wow, that's just romance speaking i think. 
I mean, i want to be in your position just to know what it feels like, but really,
move on!
If you can't transform your relationship into something that really works. What you could do is get back together. Just tell her what happened! | spelbound wrote: |
I feel no matter what I did, i would lose. My friend or my ex. As it turned out, I lost both. |
I hate these situations, I have the utmost sympathy. One tries to please all parties involved and ultimately everyone is a loser - why couldn't your ex or your friend see the point you were making?? Some people just cannot consider that others maybe trying to help them. Honestly I think you should always be true to your friends and try to help them, gf's come and go and they should fit around your friends. I think you should respect the fact that your partner has friends from before you came together and your partner should realize that you too have friends. And each of you has a responsiliblty to your friends as well as to each other.
If I'm with a girl and she cannot accept that sometimes I must be with my friends, or do something for my friends, or she is suspecting that |I'm cheating on her with my friends. Bye bye I say.
Cheers!Once I dumped someone, couple of days later I thought it was a mistake, but after a couple of months it seemed to be the right thing. So my answer on this: Yes I did dump someone but it wasn't a mistake
well, no! Actually I've dumped for two good reasons:
- she walked with me in the streets, just like showing "see I've got a boyfriend"
- few days of being together "you're my soulmate, I love you a lot"
Things like that makes me think and become confuse and I really don't like this!
The three times i've enden a relationship I didn't felt it was a mistake. Of course I felt bad, not nice, not happy, but it's natural. The last one, I loved the boy so much but... he was playing with me, I couldn't let him do that! So it hurt, but it wasn't a mistake. I deserve something better... i think 
I haven't actually dumped, as with some of us here I'm actually been more of a dumpee rather than a dumper. The thing is when I tend to go into a relationship wanting to make it work even with the differences that might arise from the actual relationships. I do have my own quirks that sometimes might be hard for my partner to take at some point, but that's it, you're supposed to take the good with the bad. It's total bs to get only actual good without the problem that comes along with it.
So if ever I do end a relationship, as long as I felt that I really did my best in order to make the relationship last as long as possible then I really won't say that it has been a mistake ending it. You're supposed to make yourselves better not worse with that person.
So If I felt like I was getting worse, then I'd probably be the dumper. Of course, this is only theoretical since I've said that I've been the dumpee twice rather than a dumper. So take it with a grain of salt.
Yes Duh, I think everyone made that mistake, but i'm just too proud to do something about it..
Up to the next girl No, but I continually turn down requests to go out as I feel it's not really worth my time. Does that count as a mistake?
There is a long heartbreaking story about my Dad though. He continually broke up and got back together with a bitch who ended up cheating on him and getting engaged to another man behind his back. Took his money too, still hasn't paid it back. Of course, I, the wise daughter, knew it was a mistake all along. Us women can sense that about eachother...
nope becuase im with my first ever girlfreind and we will be together forever i can't wait to start a family but i will wait cause im only 16
I always think I made the wrong decision when I break up with someone (it's a 'stage' I go through, lol) but, looking back, it's a good thing I didn't stay in any of those relationships.
Yes I have..my first wife.. She was an awesome girl, but like alot of Men, I thought with my gonads, instead of my brain. I did her wrong I really appreciate every single message. I have heard from the ex, but it doesnt look good. The ex is in a relationship...although claims not to be happy. At least not as happy as was with me. But could never be with me again, because of the hurt.
But sometimes I tend to think that people do things as a reaction to actions. Perhaps I made those mistakes, however, maybe there was something to them. I do know that I did some wonderful things, some big, and some just simple little jestures. I just know that I still have the roses I gave, and although roses are a material thing to some...the message was real to me. I sometimes wonder, if my situation would be the same if I was the perfect lover.
Maybe I would have been the one dumped? 
?
But good things are happening...I have been working out like a monster...changing my eating habits, and having a good time when I spin. So who knows, maybe i wont be thinking about this for too long.
Last edited by spelbound on Thu Jan 19, 2006 9:11 am; edited 2 times in total Maybe this was just meant to be. If we are supposed to be together...then we will.
Life is strange.
Yes i have, i was in a relationship for 6 years and we ended it. Then i became involved with another girl and got really serious (some would say we fell in love) then the agonony of missing my previous love prevailed and made me dump the one that actually cared for me and treated me right. All of this just so she could turn around and hurt me all over again isnt that some shit!
My wife and I went through a lot before we actually got married last year. We did argue. Sometimes they were very big ones. But we knew so sure that we are the one that each other was looking for. I don't know why. I can't explain. But everytime we had some down time, one of us would first take one step back and then both of us started to mend the wound that caused by the argument. Then we moved on, getting to know each other even better. We may argue again and again, but the time we spend together is much more sweet then bitter.
it's understandable to feel like that after a break up. u're lonely and vulnerable. just imagine if you were with that person again, the same situation, the same problems, the same reason why u broke up in the first place. it's ok to be friends, or friends with benefits, just think about can u see urself with that person again? or will things change? But if u find urself super unhappy, then maybe u made a mistake, u should go back. but if u have doubts, stick to ur guns.
I understand what you are saying, but I do imagine myself with that person. Sure many would feel lonely and vulnerable however, I dont really feel that. I have many opportunities to meet new people, and trust me, in my job, I get alot of attention.
The real problem was that when I was in this relationship, I was just not happy with myself. I was working 6 nights a week, and was finding myself drinking every night. I am not an alcoholic, as I only drink when I am at work. I am a dj, and i would constantly get drinks bought for me. Many, I would give to friends, but I would have my 2 or three. Because of the drinking, I started to gain weight...alot of weight. And I thought I looked gross. I would look in the mirror and wonder what the ex was seeing. I guess you can say, my vanity and insecurity is was caused me to end the relationship.
But what has happened since the break up, I have carried my ass to the gym, and now, I am in good shape again. It happens fast for me. I dont drink nearly as much...only once or twice a week, and I eat properly.
Its like the old saying..."how can anybody love you, if you dont love yourself." This is what happened. I freaked, and I lost.
I am okay...really with everything. I miss the ex alot, but it does not control me. We will be friends eventually, I am sure of that, and I am hoping that the ex will notice the changes in me. The ex still says that I am loved, however the ex is afraid of getting hurt again. All I can do, is be myself...be there, and hang on to my new confidence. Which was always there...just hiding under a few inches of fat.
Just to let you know, I am a small guy...but when I was fat...180 lbs, I was quite rolly polly. I am now 150 lbs.
Things will be looking up really soon.
no ive never made a mistake in dumping someone i shouldnt have but ill tell you what that the chicks who have dumped cant even think straight lol there so caught up in me and the they ****** it all up ya know but you know thats all there fault lol oh anyways they mae a mistake ad i should forgive them right WRONG thats omething you ont fogivr people for for what that shit they did to me
there was this one relationship that i am regretting... it was over something one of my friends told me about her..and me bein the bad boy of the group i had to make an example to them for my rep...and she was the best gurl ive evr had an because i had to be a jack ass shes gone and i regret it every day
Until now everytime I was the dumped person. But the one situation was, that my girlfriend went for 1 year to australia (we live in germany). She dumped me for her roommate. After she came back (and while she was away) I quit all contact to her (a big part for that is the pain I had loosing her and my new very jealous girlfriend).
Now that the relationship to my girlfriend gets a bit bad (somehow it's not that good as it was the first year) I wish I had contact to me ex, because I don'T think that I will live my whole life with girlfriend I have now. But I thought I could with my ex (until she betrayed me). But time heals all wounds (do you say this as well in english?) and the sex was so good.
The question is...to quote catherine tate, "am I bothered?" I'm too young to love and all I can do is get endlessly frustrated by it...so beef.
The question is...to quote catherine tate, "am I bothered?" I'm too young to love and all I can do is get endlessly frustrated by it...so beef.
you can´t help falling for the greener grass on the other side, it´s just that once you get there, you realize just how green your grass was before...
Had something like that happen to me. My current girlfriend was my ex-girlfriend's bestfriend. But the relationship (ex) felt like it was forced. So 6mnths after it was over i got together with my girlfriend. I still wonder what if? How would it have turned out with my ex? I wonder everyday. BTW theyre still bestfriends! NJOY
...
Last edited by nopaniers on Wed Jan 24, 2007 10:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
NO!! I want to thank everyone for their responses, and I thought I would continue by giving you an update.
Over the past week, my ex and I have been chatting, on the phone. I made every attempt at telling my ex to just let us go our own paths, and that down the road, we might be friends. I generally said goodbye. However, my ex would not take that route, and would come and talk to me. I really wanted to just put it all behind me, yet, everytime it would be staring me in the face. I work in a club, and the ex sometimes goes there. But going there was not the problem, having the ex come and chat with me, when I said not to. So now, we are chatting. We cleared up alot of stuff and all is in the past.
But now, suddenly, we are friends, and I sort of did not want that. I wanted to get over it first.
What is happening? What is the ex doing? Why is my friendship so important when the ex has many friends?
I dont get it...is this a game? Should I say walk away, or should I be patient?
I want us to start again, but I have never been in a situation like this so I just dont understand.
Any thought?
I decided to break up after my girlfriend went off to a college back in liberalsville... I mean back in the northeastern United States, (same thing ). But then after oh a month I started to get pissed at myself about it. Now though I have a Job and am planning to move to Montana and start a new business. I don't have much time to sit and think much. but when I dont have muck work to do in the shop I am here, or at home eating or sleeping 
. I have mostly gotten over it now because she didn't want me to do this job, and I like my work. I jsut recently broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years...and usually I NEVER date the same person more than once. However, a month later I realized it was the biggest mistake I'd ever made - we're back together now (I got her back JUST in time)....things have been a bit strained at times...but I expect them to get better. Always think this shit through before you do it -- this is one of the few things in life that you shouldn't be too impulsive about...
I've been out with my current gf about 10 times. Give it a go, what've you got to loose?
everyone either has, or will.
The standard rule is "girls are like jobs, don't quit one until you get another one"...,<wink>
| rwojick wrote: |
| The standard rule is "girls are like jobs, don't quit one until you get another one |
Well, after this I guess I have to say the same about boys... Yep. But that's life, you make mistakes and move on.
It sucks though. I've never dumped any guys.
but I was dumped I guess it depends on the situation.. I have a friend that got dumped about six months ago. She wants him back so bad.. but he cheated on her. I keep telling her that he's not worth her time. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I am married.. and my husband and I have never had any problems. I.. to this day.. want to spend all of my free time with him, and I don't regret anything. I met him when I was 16.. and we didn't get together until I was 18. I never forgot about him.. I knew things would work out.. and I knew that I loved him the moment I saw him. I think that the relationships that work out are the ones that happen fast. We were married in 3 months.. and have been happy ever since!
Well, after my first post on this site, there have been alot of good feedback. Thank you all. I thought I would post an update.
So, I have been trying to get over my ex for a bit of time. I made the mistake of contacting him in the past. I work as a dj in nightclub, which he frequents often. So it was hard to follow the no contact rule. I have attempted to say goodbye, but he just would not have it. Everytime I said that we need to go our separate ways, he would show up at the club and tell me we need to talk. I just said that this is not what I want. Well finally we did talk. And it was a decent conversation. But after that, it was very uncomfortable for me. I soon discovered that I was blocked from his MSN which is okay, cause I was now ready to tackle the no contact rule. One which I still practice today. I actually told him to pretend to not know me, and that I was tired of playing his game.
For about 5 months, I have been working out, getting myself back in shape. It was an escape to my everyday sadness, and when I was done, I felt good. And the results have been amazing. I lost 20 pounds and feel and look great. Suddenly, I find my ex has signed up for a membership. I can handle working out at the same gym, I would just have to go at different times than he does. I am not changing my schedule for him, because I work from home, I have alot of flexibility. But tonight, he was working out at the time that I go. WHY?
I then just said to myself, I cannot control where he goes to work out...so its just a convenience for him. I ignored him, as I am holding on to my no contact rule. I will go at a different time tomorow.
Then I find out that I am no longer blocked on his MSN. I just dont get it. Obviously there is something going on, and I just dont know what it is. Why would he conciously unblock me. I figured he would not think of me at all, and once I was blocked, it was the end.
I was starting to feel better...yesterday, I cried for a long time, and after it was all done, I felt better. I had to spin again, so I needed to regain my composure. I was quiet at the beginning of the night, but felt better as the night went on.
I know this is a game, but if its just coincidence...i would like to know this. I really want to get past this, as I cannot date anyone until this journey is over. He is very immature, and really if he really had some compasion, he would join another gym. I live in a metropolitan area, and there are gyms all over. As a matter of fact, there are gyms closer to his home than the one I go to. I live next door to this gym.
so any thoughts?
Thanks in advance
you no wat i feel the same but 4 me it is different i moved to a different country and was forced to dump her she has just recently got back in contact and i want her back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 I have. A few years ago I dumped this really great guy because it was my first relationship and I was scared of the new things I was feeling. In the dating world since, I've realized I have yet to find someone as kind as he was. I regretted strongly for a few months after, and still my mind wanders to it every once in a while.
i dumpted olivia coz i was drunk and the next day i forgot i did it and got bitch slapped by this weirdo that was in my bed cozi called her olivia !!!!
Yes... and i feel sorry for dumping him after 2 years we broke up... i realize he's all i wanted... a partner forever! 
Never regret the thing you do because since you did something that means that you really wanted to do it. what if you still have feeling about your ex. thats something normal since you probably spent some time with your ex. but a rule to your life should be to keep going until you find the right person for you.
to tell my story (and to get points for that free webspace ), I had my first girlfriend one and a half year ago, but I was only a few weeks in relationship with her. Than, on a day where I was in a very bad mood, I just stood up, went out of her room and drove away. Than nobody was calling each other and we haven't heard from ourselfes for about a half year. After that time we had a few telephone calls, but it didn't really change something. But in the last time I saw her more often and her girlfriend told me, that she hasn't had another boyfriend after me (I hadn't one after her too). Now, since about a month she has found a new one.
Today I think it wasn't the right one for me, we were just to different and we even coudn't get nearer in talk (but maybe that this is normal between man and woman ). On the other side, sometimes I have doubts, too. I guess this is normal and some people just take it more to heart than other ones. But finally I'm a positive thinking guy and I just had a hard time the last year, so things must even get better, cause I have nothing to loose Its true, breaking up with the ex might have been the right thing to do for me, and its also true that missing the ex is natural. I am sure there will be others in my life, and in reality, my ex was going to dump me eventually. I firmly beleive that because of the distance that was happening between us.
Its weird now, cause there was this what I like to call a break up dance, which i am not sure is still continuing. Break ups can be so messy. But, we learn, and we grow from the experience. I dont regret anything I do in my life, I just hope that in the end, there will be a happy ending. I am not saying getting back together...what I am saying, is getting all this stuff in the past. Whether we become friends, or dont speak to each other...I just hope its something we both want, and not something we do, because it what we think the other wants.
Almost all of my ex's have become friends, and good friends. Its just very hard when the past is still in the present. I am not who I am right now, because of this confusion, but once that confusion is done...then who knows what will happen.
My motto for this break up...."One thing has to end, before another can begin"
Thanks
Hi,
I have broken up and now know it was a big mistake.
The only problem is I dont wanna go through the things she's put me through again.
Anyone have any ideas on what to do?
I know what you can do, just tell your next girlfriend what NOT to do so you don't have to put up with whatever it was again. It's good to have standards for yourself but you also have to realize that people make mistakes. And unless your express yourself they will keep on making them.
I don't have any regrets over my old girlfriend because she was just plain loopy. However, my new girlfriend is going out to parties while I'm busy procrastinating on doing my homework. I'm not too worried about her though because she's pretty trustworthy. It took me about a month to court her.
i have not felt any regret for dumping any of my ex.
Sometimes guys just like to look back and think of the good times htey spend with their girlfriend, maybe thats your problem?
Well, after some time since starting this post, alot has happened. And its funny how things change. Today, my guilt and regret are being replaced with releif and understanding. I guess what I am trying to say, is that once the cloud lifts when you obsess over another person, you see things for what they really are. Since the break up, we have tried to be friends, tried to play along with the ex's game, even after being accused of playing a game myself. Been cut off completely, only to be un-cut off. Its been a strange, yet interesting journey. A little over six months later, we are not speaking, however, there are subtle little messages that somehow get to each other. Through friends, subliminal messages with MSN etc.
But the bottom line, break ups are rarely mistakes. They happen for a reason, and both people play as big a part in the break up as the other. Relationships are difficult to begin with, and sometimes, you dont know a person till the love blindness ends.
Dont get me wrong, its not that I no longer love my ex, however, I know now, that breaking up was the right decision for both of us.
Never regret the past, as there is nothing you can do about it. Regret and guilt are such useless emotions. They accomplish nothing.
Today, I dont think it was a mistake...it was really only the end.
On to something new!!!
I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 6 years two months ago. I didn't break up with her well, and when I think about it I wonder how come I haven't been struck by lightening yet. Coz I was an ******. didn't go about it the right way. I wasn't mean or anything like that. i just dumped it on her! Really sucks.
We haven't talked since. but we have been emailing. Its nice because she was my best friend and i still want to be friends. But I don't regret breaking up with her. And I swear to god I hope I never do. i doubt it though. because i looked deep inside and was very honest with myself. More honest than I have ever been and that led me to my decision.
Moral of the story kids: Be honest with yourself. Face the sad, dark truth and take it head on. Don't ignore things and think they will just go away. They don't, they just hide and pounce on you and leave you looking stupid. If you're truly honest with yourselves and think clearly there won't be much to regret.
Went up to my girlfriend's mates as my girl wasn't there, told them that I didn't like her anymore because she was poor (Duh... they gotta be rich rofl). Only to find out a few weeks later they win the lotteries, They won around 700 grand or something... I was SO PISSED OFF. =/
Amazing to see that New Zealand now has lotteries giving away 9 million bucks :o
not quite! but yeah sometime I do miss my ex. but no biggie. Sorry
Yeah, I broke up with my girlfriend a while back. For 3 days. Then I realized I was too focused on the future to enjoy the present.
Her and I have now been together for about 8 months.
We have a mutual understanding of our situation, so we know that if either of us meets someone better, the other will step off graciously. It's a weird relationship, but there is a lot of love, a lot of passion, and very little room for serious hurt. I give myself totally to her because I'm not afraid of my heart being torn asunder. I'm practically immune to it now. She isn't as sturdy as me, so she's a bit more distant with the whole "devotion" thing. I'm also a bit nutty when it comes to love... >.>
I'm with ya mate. Like I seriously seriously regret dumping my first girlfriend. I guess I dumped her because of my stupid ego. I sorta asked her if we could restart our relationship but she rejected me ... I guess it serves me right. i dumped one of my ex girlfriend witch i had the best kiss ever... because i was having some kind of negative emotions when i was with her... even tough she was very smart... but not too beautifull... i guess that was a fact too... i donno if i really made a mistake... i think i made what my conscience told me... but she was a great girl... i donno if i will find someone like her...
This is a great post because now I see that I am not the only one out there with the same problem.
With me it happened almost 14 years ago and it still hurts to this day.
Here is what happened...
I had been with this woman for almost 3 years when I was deployed to Desert Stom back in 1991. I was there for almost a year and when I came back we picked back up where we left off everything was great except for the fact that she would not stop asking questions about what it was like over there and just would not leave it alone. I had a hard time dealing with it and was not ready to talk about it so I broke it off with her.
14 years later and a day doesn't go bye that I don't think about her. I am married to a great woman and have two fantastic kids. I'm happy but I can not get her out of my head. A song will come on, a perfume passing bye, the scent of something.
What I guess I am tring to say is that everybody has that one someone in there lives. The fact is life goes on and you deal with it. If you don't you will go crazy think about the what if's.
Ace1988
Wow man... that's so sad.
It's even more sad that I've found that girl in my life, but I lost her... It was out of my control.
I understand how you feel, and I myself have been striving to move on for about 2 years now... I hope I can make it as far as you have without accidentally killing myself >.>
-Yazz
Sometimes friends are bettr to be lovers? and sometimes lovers are better to be friends. just my opinions
As far as dumping some 1 is concerened, ive dun that, but ive never regretted it, after dumping her I found the other girls better than her, in SOOOO many ways that I just cant explain, she purely was not meant for me, and yes, i HAD to to move on!
My wife broke up with me when we were dating and I was crushed. I truly felt she was the one and she claimed she felt the same. However, she got scared of the commitment and didn't know if she was ready. We hadn't even come close to mentioning the word marriage or even where is this going? We both just seemed to know it was right.
Then out of the blue, she broke up with me and totally dissed me. I stepped back and figured, maybe I was wrong. i was so sure she was the one. I kept in touch with her, more to try show her I wasn't hurting (even though I was) and to also show I was having a great time. She had moved to a big city near where I was living and where I had lived for 6 years. I took time to show her around, bring her to some cool places and just have a great time. However, I left without any fanfare and didn't call her for two months.
Then she started calling me. I figured "this was it". She tried getting together. when it worked for me, it worked for me, but I wasn't going to get burned twice. This lasted for a couple months, but every time we got together I was in heaven (she too). However, finally in the 3rd month I started to let go a little more and not worry if I'd get hurt. It built from there and we got engaged 4 months later. We have now been married for 8 years and have 4 beautiful children.
Somehow deep in my mind, I knew we would get back together. If I could summarize, I did just enough to stay in the picture, but nothing more than to try charm her a little but nothing closely resembling asking her out again. Finally after repeated calls from her (which I loved) we started to slowly date (frequency, not passionately).
I wish you well with your relationship.
Tha'ts a lovely story Trapper... I wish I had the same amount of self-control as you... I fear I've ruined all my chances with the girl of my dreams. She's also dating someone who strongly resembles some of my personality, and that's just depressing.
It started as a distance thing, but ended as an infatuation thing.
Now we're good friends again, but I'm scared that this is all it'll ever be and I'll descend back into infatuation some day. For my own, sake, I hope I can find her doppelganger...
-Yazz
I guess everybody had this experience.
Once someone propose me, I felt temptation but I said no.
I´m single yet and sometimes I ask my self if I didn´t say yes.
Most times I am sure that I had the right decision but sometimes, I wished say another thing.
How to Fix a Bad Relationship
''Poor communication often derails the most important relationships in a person's life. The ability to listen is the best tool you can bring to any reconciliation efforts. This checklist of other pointers can help you patch things up with the parties indicated.
steps:
1. Remember that love is a verb. Choose to love your spouse for better or for worse.
2. Communicate even if it results in an argument. Choose a private place and a time when you won't be interrupted.
3. Outlaw any name calling, references to past history, and cheap shots during the argument. Stick to the issue at hand.
4. Listen to your spouse attentively without interruption. Pay attention to the emotions that lie behind the words and body language. Do not try to change those feelings or offer solutions; just validate them by listening.
5. Don't go to bed angry at each other. Call a truce before bedtime. Most things look better in the morning.
6. Take action. Do something every day that shows your love for your spouse even if you don't feel love. Love has a funny way of creeping back into the picture.
7. Remember that the bond of love grows even stronger after you've survived difficult times............''
http://www.ehow.com/how_116897_fix-relationship.html | spelbound wrote: |
I have a burning question, Has anyone dumped someone only to realize that it was a mistake. I ended a relationship about 6 months ago, and after three months, I started to miss my ex. At first i felt like the ex wanted out, so trying to protect myself, i did the dumping. It wasn't so hard, cause i felt I came out unscathed...but after a few months, I realized that i was wrong. I was not going through that guilt period, that many go through in a break up, I really did some bad stuff. Pushing the ex away. We havent talked much, but I received an email today saying that I am loved, however, things are over. But I dont want it to be over.
Has anything like this happened to anyone...whats your story. I am not depressed, nor desperate...I have moved on. I accept my loses, but just curious to hear other stories.
Thanks in advance.
Spelbound |
Hi spellbound
I also have done this and often thought about wether it was right or not.
Your subconscious often gives you the best advice although it is probably not thought of in that way at first..
I have found that all relationships form a learning path for us to travel down and find our perfect partner... We just have to listen to the messages.......Often in this situation we recall all teh good times in the relationship and disregard the bad times... One way of letting go is to look at the relationship fully .. Look at all the bad parts and be thankful you no longer have those in your life....look towards teh future knowing you are now 1 step closer to that perfect relationship... Take what you have learned from this relationship........ be honest what have you learned?
brummyphil
Our lives improve only when we take chances - and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
- Walter AndersonCarn't say i have really :/
Wow, i've made some mistakes in my life (i think) finishing relationships and having 2nd thoughts afterwards - don't we all?
I got married young and when our lovely son was 2 years old we'd both grown up a lot and totally changed into different people so decided to end it because the arguments were too much. Our situation was different to most people we know tho, because we're both totally friends with each other and share one passion - bringing our child up together - yet apart.
Anyway, in the UK someone has to divorce the other party, and we couldnt decide so we played poker to choose who was the one to do it.
6/7 years later, we still work hard together to raise our son as a happy stable little person and he lives with each of us half the week, with occasional events when we're all there (rugby matches, school stuff etc).
Now, the question i always have in my mind (even though we both see other people now) is should we have ended it or carried on?
I'll never know, and you never can know "what if" with anyone, the only thing i do know tho is that whenever i've walked a path in life with anyone, it's impossible to suddenly stop caring for them. I care for all my "ex's" and if i ever think regret, it's only really because of my personal feelings of missing the good things.
Don't think of the bad, remember the good, and look forward to the good thats out there waiting for you! no, well yes, but no
i have a rule of no second chances
i once broke this rule, thinking it was a mistake... but no, the only mistake was breaking the rule. you must have a good reason for breaking up with someone to actually do it.. i mean, it's almost never a spur of the moment thing. and no one wants to.. i mean, there's so much pressure, embarassment, hurting.. to do so. so you wouldn't do it unless you felt you had to. so even if you have second thoughts after, you have to realize there was good enough reason for you to do it in the first place.. if there's doubt, there's a problem
well relationship is such an intricate thing. i wont regret it as i know that there are many trees in the forest. if it doesn't work out, just get over and move on
I thought it was a mistake but then i found my true love and married him, so maybe it was meant to be.
I missed out BIG time on a girl once. She was 16 at that time and I was 19 and we met in the South of France. I saw her one day at the pool, and I said to myself: "If I dare to talk to this girl, I can talk to any other girl". This girl was gorgeous, I mean a princess, the most beautiful thing I ever did see and I've never seen a girl more attractive than this one. I went to her and talked to her, and I told her she was the prettiest thing I ever laid my eyes on. At one point she said she had a boyfriend at home, so I told myself I wouldn't stand a chance. Nevertheless, there was supposed to be a party on the beach that night, and I asked her if she would like to come. When I asked this, I never had the intention to actually ask her out on a date, but I asked her so she would have fun. That night a lot of guys and girls met at the club of this holiday paradise to go to the beach together. While I was there as well and flirting with another girl, I suddenly noticed sweet 16 walking towards us. She looked like an angel. She had noticed I was flirting with one of the other girls and she was obviously hurt and dissappointed by what she saw. She turned around and walked away and I never saw her again... I will never forget her dissappointed face... 
I was looking for a girls e-mail that I dumped about fours years ago. I dont know I just kept thinking about her and found a hard copy of an old e-mail from her. It was nice, lovely things said about me. I did feel guilty and I wanted to say hullo to her.
I couldnt find her e-mail address as my PC had since crashed. Today I got a text from a strange mobile phone. You'll never guess but it was her. She found my number remembered it was my birthday and wanted to say. I have been on the phone to her for ages today and its nice.
Problem is that both of us have got married in that time!!! Big Dilemma.
I broke up with my last girl friend. We had had great time while we had met. but she's gone because she began to love the other. I think it was my mistake to introduce my friend to her at that time.
She got married to my friend. But i don't regret that now. Because I got mariied to my wife . We have a cute son. I'm really happy.
Good for you, I am the same married to a lovely woman and wouldnt swap her to avoid the heartaches I have had with my ex-wife.
Life is what you make it.
If you really love someone, cherish her/him. Also do not do things in the wrong way or causes you to do things in the wrong way. Instead, live a normal life full of lusts/desires and love a person only in a correct way not for lusts/desires. Do not do what the opposite party does not wants you to do.
I had dumped my bestfriend. Silly as I may be but though the story has started as a fairytale I ended up in well... not so great.
It all started when I we met in school. I got attracted with his looks and personality so everytime we got together for even just in a conversation has been heaven. He was nice and what's best was we got along pretty well. We realized there was so much in common about us.
After about 6 months we were very good friends and people started thinking that we are already in a relationship. I still preferred to call him as my best bud. Then he started giving me gifts and being "too nice"... I still believed it was a sign of friendship... or at least that's what I wanted to believe in.
To cut the long story short it was only in a matter of time when he has confessed his feelings for me. I got scared. It would be my first relationship and I thought about loosing him more if the relationship would not be great. I tell myself it was better that way but as the courting went on, I started to try tell excuses just not to get near him.
The friendship got broken and while I was "thinking" about it I didn't realize that the months went by and all those time I have hurted him so much. He sought solace from a common friend.
The sad thing is when I decided to go for the relationship... He has already fallen for the "common friend". So sad Lara, if you dont mind me asking, what age r u? i did tha when I was younger and regreted not making the move when part of me said it was the right thing to do. She met somebody else and married him.
He has since died and she has contacted me, but im married now to.
Its life such a bitch sometimes.
Please refrain from using the word "bitch", it might offend other people...
Well, live is so full of breakups. And everywhere you go you hear about it or even involved in a few. And it is the most happening thing in the history of mankind. No wonder, majority of the songs are about lost love or the likes.
But what i truly believe, is whatever happens, happens for the best. Even if you go back, that was meant to be and if you dont then you are meant to be with someone else.
Life is too short for regrets, after all even if you miss one, the other person is even or even better than the previous. And you do learn a lot from a broken relationship.!! ive not regretted splitting up with someone but i have seen one of my ex's and thought "wow wouldnt mind another go at that" but just a spare of the moment thought i think
Wasnt this a sticky?
Who changed it anyway?
I dumped my girlfriend earlier on tonight, In hind sight I can see it was haste I was angry at her for letting me down. i felt like she wasnt bothered about me. Im starting to regret it now she was my longest relationship and i guess i get confussed sometimes with how it should go. we had our issues but we got through them and for our eight month relationship to finish how it did on the note how it did i feel gutted and what makes it worse is that i dont think shell forgive me either. it makes me so sad to think how stupid ive been. we gone through some deep issuses together. now i can see the error of my ways. love with her was like heaven love without her is hell.sometimes i didnt apreciate her as much as i should, sometimes love swings round and hits you right in the heart. i was wrong babe and im sorry for what I did. your lalways have a bit of my heart . THE SORRY MISTAKE.
Ive only broke up with one person,
and it was because i felt like i wasn't right for him.
So no i don't think it was a mistake.
i regret turning this one girl down some time ago.
she wanted to go out but i said no... I had someone else in mind back then. Nope nothing till now I guess!!!!
It's never too late to go back...
yeah was with ma first relationship, the girl loved me a lot, i took advantage used her and dumped her. she still loves me but now is married with a kid, never i see her, i realise the maistake i made. But its of use. i regret breaking up with my ex and 3 months later i realised what i did..at first i thought i could get him back because he was sooo in love with me he was talking marriage when we were together but little did i know in that time alot changed he changed as a person and now i cant even have a decent conversation with him...i really miss the person he used to be i still see that in him sometime but his trying to avoid it, all his friends tell me that he never got over me but now that i want to make things work i feel like his pushing me away..but his also giving me mixed signals. dont know what to do?
I agree with the fact that it is never too late to go back. Just work slow and careful. Don't rush things. Basically it's like trying to build the relationship from scratch with the only difficulty you've already had something before.
