I have a list of about 400 good quotes, here is a few:
+ When all else fails, admit i'm right and kiss my ass.
+ The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
+ The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
+ Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
+ Marriage. An expensive way of getting your laundry done for free.
+ Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
+ Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence.
+ If the opposite of pro is con, then what must be the opposite of progress?
+ If a man tells a woman she's beautiful she'll overlook most of his other lies.
+ How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
+ Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.
+ I drink to make other people interesting.
+ I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better.
+ Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
+ Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
+ When all else fails, admit i'm right and kiss my ass.
+ The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
+ The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
+ Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
+ Marriage. An expensive way of getting your laundry done for free.
+ Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
+ Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence.
+ If the opposite of pro is con, then what must be the opposite of progress?
+ If a man tells a woman she's beautiful she'll overlook most of his other lies.
+ How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
+ Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.
+ I drink to make other people interesting.
+ I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better.
+ Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
+ Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
