I READ IT SOMEWHERE
Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking can kill you, so the next day I stopped smoking. Twelve days ago, I read that too much red meat can kill you, so the next day I stopped eating red meat. Eight days ago, I read that drinking can kill you, so the next day I stopped drinking. Three days ago, I heard that cell phone can kill you, so I stopped using my cell phone. Yesterday, I read that having sex can kill you, so this morning I stopped reading.
MICHAEL AND CASPER
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?
A: One is pale and scares kids, and the other is a friendly ghost.
THAT BITES
A guy was walking down the street when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey, miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?" "Are you nuts?" she replies, and starts to walk away. He says, "You wouldn't let me do it for even $1,000?" "Listen, sir, I'm not that kind of woman. Got it?" He says, "How about $10,000?" The woman thinks about this for awhile and says, "You'll pay me $10,000 to bite my breasts?" He nods. She reluctantly says, "Let's go to that dark alley over there." They go to the alley and she takes off her blouse. The guy begins caressing her breasts, kissing them, and fondling them. Finally, the woman gets all annoyed and says, "Are you going to bite them, or what?" "Nah," he replies. "Too expensive!"
Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking can kill you, so the next day I stopped smoking. Twelve days ago, I read that too much red meat can kill you, so the next day I stopped eating red meat. Eight days ago, I read that drinking can kill you, so the next day I stopped drinking. Three days ago, I heard that cell phone can kill you, so I stopped using my cell phone. Yesterday, I read that having sex can kill you, so this morning I stopped reading.
MICHAEL AND CASPER
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?
A: One is pale and scares kids, and the other is a friendly ghost.
THAT BITES
A guy was walking down the street when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey, miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?" "Are you nuts?" she replies, and starts to walk away. He says, "You wouldn't let me do it for even $1,000?" "Listen, sir, I'm not that kind of woman. Got it?" He says, "How about $10,000?" The woman thinks about this for awhile and says, "You'll pay me $10,000 to bite my breasts?" He nods. She reluctantly says, "Let's go to that dark alley over there." They go to the alley and she takes off her blouse. The guy begins caressing her breasts, kissing them, and fondling them. Finally, the woman gets all annoyed and says, "Are you going to bite them, or what?" "Nah," he replies. "Too expensive!"
