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Your Ex Getting Married





zacky
5 years ago, I had a very serious relationship. We act like we really meant to be, we made promises to ourselves and to our family and friends. We planned everything, family, kids, house and etc.. But as time goes by, we had a small fight that we did not resolved which goes to larger and bigger fight that cause our break-up.

Times goes by and flies, we had separate ways. And after 5 years to cut it short, I landed to a new job. My new boss will getting married. He gave us in office an invitation card and as I saw the picture on the card, the girl with him is my Ex GF.

I cannot explain this feeling but I have this mix emotions. I do not know if this is bitterness or I am just feeling lonely because I still thinking the guy that she supposed to marry is me. As I cannot handle my emotion everyday I go to office while everyone keeps talking about it and to prevent anything, I decided to leave the job.
loveandormoney
Watch the Graduate. (Dustin shows You how easy it is with Your grateful love)

Marry her. Dont destroy Your life because You give the woman to Your boss as present. You love her.
Marry her.
And forget the 50,000 Dollar Your boss is giving You. Money can never make You so much happy like this beautiful woman.
Do it and dont wait until Monday.
codersfriend
You should move on. I know it's hard but that's life.
deanhills
Sorry you have to go through all of this. Regret can be a killer. I think there is truth in the saying one can't move on with one's life while one's eyes are glued to the rear view mirror. One also can't develop other relationships while the majority of one's focus is on a relationship of yesterday. I'm dead certain if it didn't work once, it won't work a second time either. Both of you tried and it didn't work out. I'd find myself a really nice date and attend the wedding. Wish the bride and groom everything of the best and pretend that everything is OK. Eventually it will become OK.
loveandormoney
zacky wrote:
5 years ago, I had a very serious relationship. We act like we really meant to be, we made promises to ourselves and to our family and friends. We planned everything, family, kids, house and etc.. But as time goes by, we had a small fight that we did not resolved which goes to larger and bigger fight that cause our break-up.

Times goes by and flies, we had separate ways. And after 5 years to cut it short, I landed to a new job. My new boss will getting married. He gave us in office an invitation card and as I saw the picture on the card, the girl with him is my Ex GF.

I cannot explain this feeling but I have this mix emotions. I do not know if this is bitterness or I am just feeling lonely because I still thinking the guy that she supposed to marry is me. As I cannot handle my emotion everyday I go to office while everyone keeps talking about it and to prevent anything, I decided to leave the job.


You are shy. Thats Your problem You buy a bunch of flowers and then You ll kiss her. Its so easy and she is wating for u. And if really she would say

You are ugly
Then You ll know and its finished.

Its so easy for us women to make love but many boys think wait one year more.

Try it and be a little bit of self confident like Andy Kauffman explained.
suenelson
It sounds like you're not currently dating someone, but if you are, you should cut off your feelings for your ex.

You should have a discussion with your boss and let him know you won't be attending because his fiance is your ex. Have a pretty open conversation with him but tell him you're happy for him. And get to the point in your heart that you are happy for them both. But you don't have to go and be subjected to that.

Divide work and relationship. Separation of business and love. You shouldn't leave your job over this. At most, transfer departments.
tonberry
Great answer from Suenelson! Definitely the best way to approach this.

Don't leave your job though, it would be a shame. All hell doesn't break lose if you don't attend a wedding at work.

I'm sure there is a psychological thing to battle as well - being that your ex is now with your boss seems like she got promoted and it's easy to compare yourself to your boss and come to conclusion that since he is your boss and not the other way around, that this means you are a loser. But that's just crap, healthy self-esteem is never built on social standing as it's easier, and in fact preferable, to reach high positions by manipulation, intimidation and cheating and politicians and corporate magnates are usually the lowest and not the highest of creatures Very Happy

Cheer up, wish her luck, life goes on Wink
rx9876
Except attending the wedding, there are many chances that your ex and your boss could figure out this former relationship.
The awkwardness is normal and unavoidable.
Even you could live with it, or better, you move on and do not be affected by this,
but how will your ex and your boss think?
Could they treat you like a normal subordinate?
Or your boss will be picky on you even he did not notice himself?

Leaving the job is not a bad option, if there are jobs better than the current one.
If there is not, keep finding one.
playfungames
Leaving the job isn't something that I would have done. It has been five years already. I am sure that you have moved on already. There is this mixed feeling still remaining and you would rather not attend that event but your boss doesn't know anything and you could have made a reason to not go to the wedding instead of straight out quitting the job. It would have been awkward later on if you had to come across her again and again because now she is married to your boss.

I had a similar situation. My ex (the first love one), the one with who I planned my life and everything just like you just got married recently. I have made a number of new friends in her locality and when she got married her family invited all my friends because they knew each other. I wasn't invited (obviously). Now, not all my friends know that she is my ex but they keep mentioning her usually and it's totally awkward for me to pretend that I never knew her.

Weird thing called love.
Da Rossa
I'm really sorry, Zacky. This invitation was indeed unnecessary. Easier said than done, move on. You have a life to live.
arfaiz
It must be hurts. Move on and find someone to marry with. Don't let a little fight to break your relationship again.
BigGeek
The hardest part of any past relationship is letting go! In my opinion it takes more love and courage to let someone go an truly with and hope they are happy than to hold on out of fear and jealousy.

To stay in your job, and wish your boss and your ex all the happiness in the world take more maturity and courage than most people have. It is easy to be jealous, feel hurt, and be sad over the loss of your ex, and her new found love and happiness! You have to swallow your pride, and dump your sadness and pain in order to gain your own happiness.

Ask yourself this - Do you want to end up 5 years from now lonely, angry, with a broken heart. Or do you want to grow, forgive, let go, and wish them happiness and find it yourself.

I promise you, it may not seem so now, but to let go and sincerely wish them happiness will be one of the greatest achievements you will ever make! You will look back and be grateful that you did so, rather than looking back and cringing at your petty jealousy!

The hardest thing I have ever had to do is to let someone I loved go!

It is the most valuable lesson you will ever learn in life.

Such is life Wink
victorcviana
She worth it? So don't give up. Do what you gotta do, man up, and be happy. Don't let pride ruin your whole future life. Good luck.
loveandormoney
victorcviana wrote:
She worth it? So don't give up. Do what you gotta do, man up, and be happy. Don't let pride ruin your whole future life. Good luck.


YES
Kiss her and stop crying. You are angry with yourself when You like to wait 10 years more.
ep1c0t
Leaving your job seems like a good move but it's just you running away. I mean, after all those years you don't even know her anymore. She might be a totally different person and so are you.
bkcollection
girls always move on faster than guys, especially those will good qualities.
pauline5765
If I was not financially in need, I would quit my job too if I were in your situation. It's not because you still have hopes of getting back together with her, but rather for protecting your self-pride (or self-esteem). How can you tolerate being "under" the new partner of your ex? If there's a lot of other jobs available or if I have enough money to have a business of my own, then I would resign asap.

First off, do your best to move on. It's been five years. Five.

How can you not move on? Take note that you will never move on if you just allow yourself to get stuck in the past, thinking of the happy memories where you are still in love with her. That's delusional, mentally stressful and emotionally unhealthy.

Try dating someone else. Obviously, you are not meant together. So go find that right person instead of wallowing over spilled milk.
loveandormoney
Why do u look for a hard life without fun?

Is that well paid?
zacky
Thanks for all the post and response from this post.

It's been months now after their wedding, and I must say I finally moved on. I can say now that what happened to me when I heard the news is like bringing good memories and daydreaming about it.

I forgot where I am now and why it all happened. I can proudly and frankly say without bitterness or so that I am really happy for them. Maybe when I posted this, I just feel I am being surrounded by people that they love them so much while me, the only one that hoping to bring her back.

I realized after few months that, if I really wanted her that much, I shouldn't wait for five years and wouldn't wait for an awkward moment. That if I really deserve her, from the moment we broke up, I didn't cut our connection and continue to fix things on us.

Right now, I'm happy with the new job and dating an old friend. I won't argue if my move to leave the job is good or not, but all I know now is when I did that, I feel like I moved out from awkward situation and from people that will talk and gossip my past relationship with my boss fiancé (wife).
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