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They say I could pilot Enola Gay

Da Rossa
I've broken up with a friend with benefits I used to have until two months ago. She's from my workplace, we engaged in this sex-flavoured friendship and made a deal: to be honest with each other, with clear terms, and no feelings.

She's a little older than me (34 vs. 30), had been maried for 7 years and has a 7 year-old daughter. She's religious, protestant, but moderate. I'm a catholic myself and we agree on many things. She works more than 8 hours a day and needs the job; her boss often asks her to stay longer with no bonus; at home, she's ordered to do the cleaning. Here in Brazil it is common to have a maid for this. But their parents would rather save the money.

The same (being moderate) can't be said of her folks, though. Her father is a 19th-century control freak, so as her mother, and they don't get the idea of having sex out of mariage. She wasn't even allowed to go out with me. She returned to her parents' place after divorcing, bringing her daughter. Now she doesn't own a copy of the house keys; she must go to her fathers room to ask for the key to get out.

One day I asked her out. She wanted, but was afraid of asking her father. I insisted. She said: "like I said, my father doesn't let me. He said he 'hasn't yet received a signal from God indicating this as a good thing'". I snapped, but then tolerated; we kept seeing each other, she even got to know my mother and we three had lunch at my place.

She eventually fell for me, I didn't. I was very honest from day one. I realised the partnership was over because I couldn't keep giving her hope of turning it into the real thing: the relationship became unbalanced. So I broke up with her. Right after I started my vacation at work and she kept texting me. I was strong, didn't reply because I didn't want to go on with that, albeit the sex was a persuasive factor. Meanwhile she texted my mother too (don't know how she got her number). She said things like "I wanna remain your friend", "I want your advice", "Are you upset with me?" and so on.

So I began typing a 11-paragraph goodbye. Along the message, I just said everything I had to say. I said we had never been actual friends, we are from different universes, that I wish God had given her another pair of folks because hers are horrible, that her ex-husband is a criminal so as her father (the ex doesn't pay alimony because her father doesn't let him, very convenient). I also said she is treated like a slave in her own home, her parents exploit her, so as her boss. I finished saying she there is no point texting my mother and she couldn't help me in any way she could possibly want and that my moral duty to her has been served. Yes, I found out I was the only person intimate enough to say the right things, because co-workers know almost the full story but don't feel comfortable talking to her about personal things.

When I showed the message to my friends, they said I'm so cold-blooded I was eligible to fly the Enola Gay over Hiroshima. Do you agree?
Why there is the big distance between the woman and the man?
Ouch! Da Rossa, you've done a "horrible" thing. You've refused to lie in order to spare (temporarily) your friend's feelings. In reality you have given her the opportunity to better understand the realities in her life.

I do sympathize with her, and others who think you are cold. Most of us who try to present the honest truth in spite of feelings do a poor job of it. I hope both you and her will obtain a little more maturity from this.
Da Rossa
SonLight, I believe she would never get the opportunity to be told the truth. I know her environment, and she doesn't have anyone in position to tell this turth. So I made a call that truth was more important than feelings: she must take off of that prison otherwise she'll be unhappy for the rest of her life.
OK, I guess you possibly could fly the Enola Gay. I know you'd hate to do it, but if you were really convinced that taking 100,000 lives would save 1,000,000 or more, you might ...

Darn, sometimes it's a curse to be rational.
Da Rossa
What was the real damage I did?
You talk around the problem. You do not meet the point but You expect the other would solve the problem.
Da Rossa
loveandormoney wrote:
You talk around the problem. You do not meet the point but You expect the other would solve the problem.

No I just asked what was the real damage I dealt. That's all.
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