FRIHOST FORUMS SEARCH FAQ TOS BLOGS COMPETITIONS
You are invited to Log in or Register a free Frihost Account!


Huge crush on a coworker





dontinsertnamehere
So, basically this new girl started working at my department last october. I found her to be very attractive since day 1, but nothing more really. Then I went out with coworkers on New Years and I had the absolutely best time with her. We spent whole night talking and laughing etc. We had a few drinks, but neither of us was "wasted". I can`t figure out if she actually liked me or was just being friendly or simply had that one glass to much, but I can`t stop thinking about her ever since. We sometimes chat on facebook, but that`s about it. I don`t really communicate with anybody at work, because I don`t like to be distracted, but once I finish my tasks I always ask if she needs some help and try to make small talk. Which I am terrible at. I am extremely shy and socially awkward person. I asked her out couple of times on facebook, but she always seems to look for a reason to say no, but she never says it and always says "but we definitely need go out some time soon" which seems as a nice way of saying NO. Even though I don`t think she feels the same way about me, I want to tell her how I feel.

But how do I tell her? I simply don`t have courage. Can`t do it at work, because there is too many other people around. Can`t do it on facebook, because this must be face to face conversation. Sometimes, if we finish shifts at the same time, we share a walk home for a couple minutes. But that only happens once a week in best case. I had a great plan. Ask her out, get a few drinks and once I feel comfortable, tell her how i feel, because I can`t get a word out, when i`m sober. But I have asked her two times already in last 10 days. She did have legit reasons both times as why she can`t. But as I said, it felt like she doesn`t want to. Asking her out anymore seems creepy to me at this point. As if i`m stalking her or something. Even if she says no she is not interested in me, I hope that would give me some kinda closure, because I`m just crazy about her.
rx9876
dontinsertnamehere wrote:
She did have legit reasons both times as why she can`t. But as I said, it felt like she doesn`t want to.


What reasons she used to refuse you?
Did you think about them?
Were they sounded reasonable?

Some girls' schedule is full in next two months,
and you have to be very interesting to them to cancel their original activities and go out with you.

Chat with her more often and get to know her better.
You might find something she is interesting in, and ask her out successfully.
Before you did that, you have to improve yourself continually.
Blaster
The only way you are ever going to find out is if you ask her. Girls like guys that are straight to the point.

Maybe try setting up a night of going out with several people including her. Go out with a group of your coworkers. Try and get her alone and talk to her. Facebook doesn't work you have to ask in person. It shows that you are serious.

I'm a shy person too so I know this can be hard but try and show confidence. Don't let the shyness show. If it works out you can talk about it later. If she turns you away though you could even say how you had to work your confidence up to ask her out as you are a shy person. This will show that you truely want something out of her.
loveandormoney
dontinsertnamehere wrote:
So, basically this new girl started working at my department last october. I found her to be very attractive since day 1, but nothing more really. Then I went out with coworkers on New Years and I had the absolutely best time with her. We spent whole night talking and laughing etc. We had a few drinks, but neither of us was "wasted". I can`t figure out if she actually liked me or was just being friendly or simply had that one glass to much, but I can`t stop thinking about her ever since. We sometimes chat on facebook, but that`s about it. I don`t really communicate with anybody at work, because I don`t like to be distracted, but once I finish my tasks I always ask if she needs some help and try to make small talk. Which I am terrible at. I am extremely shy and socially awkward person. I asked her out couple of times on facebook, but she always seems to look for a reason to say no, but she never says it and always says "but we definitely need go out some time soon" which seems as a nice way of saying NO. Even though I don`t think she feels the same way about me, I want to tell her how I feel.

But how do I tell her? I simply don`t have courage. Can`t do it at work, because there is too many other people around. Can`t do it on facebook, because this must be face to face conversation. Sometimes, if we finish shifts at the same time, we share a walk home for a couple minutes. But that only happens once a week in best case. I had a great plan. Ask her out, get a few drinks and once I feel comfortable, tell her how i feel, because I can`t get a word out, when i`m sober. But I have asked her two times already in last 10 days. She did have legit reasons both times as why she can`t. But as I said, it felt like she doesn`t want to. Asking her out anymore seems creepy to me at this point. As if i`m stalking her or something. Even if she says no she is not interested in me, I hope that would give me some kinda closure, because I`m just crazy about her.




Flirting in the factory or in the school is always wrong.
This makes the woman angry.
Change Your behaviour and give the woman a chance.
deanhills
I'd be patient and keep up with getting to know one another the way you are right now. Let it spontaneously evolve into going for coffee or something when it is right for both of you. Just relax and let it happen the way it is supposed to. Or not at all.
loveandormoney
How long are you patient?


One day one month or one year?


Why do women like to be active and kissing and men want to wait?
Da Rossa
Hey dotinsert! Welcome to Frihost!

There is a number of possible reasons for her beating around the bush.
1 - she doesn't like the idea of 'being' with a coworker, because it generally doesn't end up well;
2 - she noticed you're shy and doesn't want to be rude, but really doesn't want anything with you;
3 - she has an unresolved issue with somebody.
4 - she just likes to be mean and give you hope by playing nice and laughing alongside you.
(just some possibilities).

Ok, those seem a bit harsh, right? Only if you stop in the first layer of or analysis.
1 - being with a coworker represents a lot of problems: internal regulations against it, gossiping, people thinking you're teaming up to being someone down, and other semi-conspiracy theories that unfortunately do change others' behaviours. BUT, your personal life is apart from your professional. As long as you're careful, you don't even need to spend more than two minutes in the coffee room together. You'd have the compensation later in that day.
2 - If that's the case, then just go straight to the point. You have nothing to lose, because the NO you already have. Actually, you'd free yourself from this burden. Doesn't mean the relation between you two must get akward afterwards.
3 - Same as above. You don't have the obligation to know unless she makes this detail of her life public.
4 - Same as above. You'll get an answer by her reaction. Or at least a clue. Then you'll probably decide a girl like that was not worth your time.
loveandormoney
Husband and wife do different jobs.
This is easy and most people like it.

But husband and wife working in the same company
can cause a lot of problems.

Example: Your boss can watch Your relationship and how You educate Your children.

Do You like this?

80% of all western humans meet their darling during working in the factory.
smeconsult
TAKE YOUR TIME WITH HER. YOU THINK YOU CANT WAIT ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT TELLING HER HOW YOU FEEL BUT YOU DEFINITELY CAN.

Ladies are intuitive and she knows where you are heading from the start. The possibilities are:

1. She isnt ready for any relationship or dealing with some issues
2. She is interested in you but is afraid of the co-worker status
3. She doesnt feel you in a romantic way. Just wanna be friends.

How do you know what category she belong? Keep chatting and talking with her. Tease her about her reluctance and ask if "she needed her boyfriends permission to have lunch or dinner with you". That will throw up some new level of discussions.

Best of luck

dontinsertnamehere wrote:
So, basically this new girl started working at my department last october. I found her to be very attractive since day 1, but nothing more really. Then I went out with coworkers on New Years and I had the absolutely best time with her. We spent whole night talking and laughing etc. We had a few drinks, but neither of us was "wasted". I can`t figure out if she actually liked me or was just being friendly or simply had that one glass to much, but I can`t stop thinking about her ever since. We sometimes chat on facebook, but that`s about it. I don`t really communicate with anybody at work, because I don`t like to be distracted, but once I finish my tasks I always ask if she needs some help and try to make small talk. Which I am terrible at. I am extremely shy and socially awkward person. I asked her out couple of times on facebook, but she always seems to look for a reason to say no, but she never says it and always says "but we definitely need go out some time soon" which seems as a nice way of saying NO. Even though I don`t think she feels the same way about me, I want to tell her how I feel.

But how do I tell her? I simply don`t have courage. Can`t do it at work, because there is too many other people around. Can`t do it on facebook, because this must be face to face conversation. Sometimes, if we finish shifts at the same time, we share a walk home for a couple minutes. But that only happens once a week in best case. I had a great plan. Ask her out, get a few drinks and once I feel comfortable, tell her how i feel, because I can`t get a word out, when i`m sober. But I have asked her two times already in last 10 days. She did have legit reasons both times as why she can`t. But as I said, it felt like she doesn`t want to. Asking her out anymore seems creepy to me at this point. As if i`m stalking her or something. Even if she says no she is not interested in me, I hope that would give me some kinda closure, because I`m just crazy about her.
loveandormoney
Quote:

She is interested in you but is afraid of the co-worker status




This is very important. This can cause a big damage.
Related topics
What is your favourite movie?
Photoshop Tutorials
Justification for War in Iraq
Support Danish
meaning of your username
My Prose
PS3 Fails
Do looks matter?
How to tell a girl you like her?
The Middle East Conflict
He liked me, which makes me happy, but is it too late?
Huge Detailed List Of Web Sites of Photoshop Brushes
how to get over someone
SAber Rider
Which video game consoles do you have?
Reply to topic    Frihost Forum Index -> Lifestyle and News -> Relationships

FRIHOST HOME | FAQ | TOS | ABOUT US | CONTACT US | SITE MAP
© 2005-2011 Frihost, forums powered by phpBB.