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I've been figured out!





Da Rossa
I'm in a clandestine relationship with a girl in my workplace. No, none of us is married or commited, but she likes to keep it off the grid. No problem to me. It's been a month now. We don't have anything serious and we'll stay that way. We're adults and like staying with each other, and I've made myself clear to her.

Today I was driving her home and the traffic was intense. A colleague of us overtook us and (most likely) spotted me with my hand on her thigh and hers on my neck while driving...

I began a countdown of how many days people in there will know about us.
loveandormoney
Da Rossa wrote:
I'm in a clandestine relationship with a girl in my workplace. No, none of us is married or commited, but she likes to keep it off the grid. No problem to me. It's been a month now. We don't have anything serious and we'll stay that way. We're adults and like staying with each other, and I've made myself clear to her.

Today I was driving her home and the traffic was intense. A colleague of us overtook us and (most likely) spotted me with my hand on her thigh and hers on my neck while driving...

I began a countdown of how many days people in there will know about us.


The whole company does knoew it.
Your boss does know it.

Does it make You both hot to play a secret where there is no one?
Da Rossa
You might be right in the near future, but not now.

No, I particularly would like some people to know it. But she is the one who makes a big deal about letting others know. I understand this is the workplace, but we are not doing the dirty in there.
rx9876
Da Rossa wrote:
You might be right in the near future, but not now.

No, I particularly would like some people to know it. But she is the one who makes a big deal about letting others know. I understand this is the workplace, but we are not doing the dirty in there.


It happened to me many years ago when I was in college.
My girlfriend that time did not like other classmates know we're seeing each other.
After 4 months, the relationship was over.
Somehow, I will take it as the people who does not want others know the relationship do not have confidence in this relationship after that event.

Hope it's not your case, Da Rossa.
Blaster
her hand was on your neck? I find that a bit weird

But soon or a later it will come out.

I've seen this somewhere before...

loveandormoney
Da Rossa wrote:
You might be right in the near future, but not now.

No, I particularly would like some people to know it. But she is the one who makes a big deal about letting others know. I understand this is the workplace, but we are not doing the dirty in there.


You never did listen to the silent messages insinde an company. Sure they know because this is the most important thing
during breaks
in job
in school
in universities

whos sxing maybe with the wife of the boss in secret.
Da Rossa
Yes, but I broke up with her two days ago.
She asked me to reconsider. But I really don't know. Some things came up and... it's beyond the topic right now Very Happy
rx9876
Da Rossa wrote:
Yes, but I broke up with her two days ago.
She asked me to reconsider. But I really don't know. Some things came up and... it's beyond the topic right now Very Happy


Hope the next one will be better.
loveandormoney
Da Rossa wrote:
Yes, but I broke up with her two days ago.
She asked me to reconsider. But I really don't know. Some things came up and... it's beyond the topic right now Very Happy


This sounds more complicated than playing chess.
Da Rossa
I reconsidered. Wasn't very complicated. People who know are telling me to make it official, but I don't want. She knows that.
coolclay
Hopefully it won't cause any issues working with her into the future. I am sure you are both professional adults and able to keep relationship issues (positive or negative) out of the workplace (at least it sounds like you have so far!)
Da Rossa
I don't work *with* her, she works as a secretary on the 2nd floor, I work as an assistant on the 1st. But we decided to spread the word. Selectively. People are supporting us. My workmates are not making noise. So far so good.
loveandormoney
Da Rossa wrote:
I reconsidered. Wasn't very complicated. People who know are telling me to make it official, but I don't want. She knows that.


And she is happy with that, isnt she.
Da Rossa
No I think she isn't. I know she wants the real thing.
And we going public has brought up another issue: now, people are eager to see us together. They're asking about our status. Here in Brazil it is not as forbidden as in the northern countries to have a relationship with a co-worker as long as it doesn't hassle the workflow.
Also, people in here tend to keep their private lives less private...

So this happened:
"hey, how's your girlfriend?"
"She is not my girlfriend."
"How come? I've seen you two together!"
"It's not like that..."

She is very liked in the company and people tend to protect her. God help me if they think I broke her heart, but she's fully aware of my conditions. We're being good to each other, period.
loveandormoney
And how about her feelings?
Da Rossa
Her feelings... well. They're intense. And not for the best.
She's falling, that's for sure. I'm not. I'm uncomfortable. She daily sends me cute messages and graphics, as well as love songs. She is also very concerned about not pleasing me; she often gets the idea she failed to do so, when she's wrong.

But I'm not into her. This is getting disproportional and unbalanced.
loveandormoney
It sounds
You do a little bit of therapy instead the way of friendship.

Make her laugh.
Youggedge
Secrecy and relationship don't often go hand in hand but as she is falling for you, you've to stop it right here if you're not interested in serious relationship. But act carefully otherwise the situation can get more complicated.
loveandormoney
He is not interested in relationships???
Oh sorry
then all my answers were wrong.
Im am sorry.
Da Rossa
Quote:
Secrecy and relationship don't often go hand in hand but as she is falling for you, you've to stop it right here if you're not interested in serious relationship. But act carefully otherwise the situation can get more complicated.


Indeed it can. She is loved in the company, and some people are starting to tell me "she doesn't deserve that" (the non-serious relationship). Also, I've been keen on maintaining the minimum distance because I have no feelings for her. This led my mother ask me whether I will never develop feelings for anyone... this is worrying!
loveandormoney
Quote:

I have no feelings for her.



Can You please explain this?
Da Rossa
I think this is self-explanatory, isn't it? We have a physical attraction, that's all. We like having sex with each other. This is how it was supposed to be, at least.
However, I'm certain she feels more about me. She is actually into me. Recently she said "we have to discuss our relationship. I feel there is an imbalance between what I mean to you and what you mean to me."

And it is true. All we have is a FWB agreement.
loveandormoney
Da Rossa wrote:
I think this is self-explanatory, isn't it? We have a physical attraction, that's all. We like having sex with each other. This is how it was supposed to be, at least.
However, I'm certain she feels more about me. She is actually into me. Recently she said "we have to discuss our relationship. I feel there is an imbalance between what I mean to you and what you mean to me."

And it is true. All we have is a FWB agreement.






Da Rossa wrote:
I think this is self-explanatory, isn't it? We have a physical attraction, that's all. We like having sex with each other. This is how it was supposed to be, at least.
However, I'm certain she feels more about me. She is actually into me. Recently she said "we have to discuss our relationship. I feel there is an imbalance between what I mean to you and what you mean to me."

And it is true. All we have is a FWB agreement.



I am really sorry.
We live here in this small village and have a small office and maybe..
but
it is the custom man or woman are physical attracted and marry.
So You want to have a darling, who ist ugly? What is the meaning? Do You talk together only in the dark.

I am stupid
but I and my friends say

marry the most beautiful human and avoid the ugly ones. The ugly ones like divorce
the beautiful human s love kiss and sx.

What is Your life and love concept?



You and maybe others are not interested in sx with the most beautiful human.


Do away when You do not like her because this hurts a woman, the heart of the woman only.
Da Rossa
Ok, please clarify the last post please. Smile
loveandormoney
Da Rossa wrote:
Ok, please clarify the last post please. Smile

There is yes.
There is no.
How did You create a maybe?
rx9876
Da Rossa wrote:
Ok, please clarify the last post please. Smile

It's very interesting.
I understand all the words individually in the post,
but I can not understand the message of the post trying to deliver.
loveandormoney
rx9876 wrote:
Da Rossa wrote:
Ok, please clarify the last post please. Smile

It's very interesting.
I understand all the words individually in the post,
but I can not understand the message of the post trying to deliver.


Can You please ask some questions?
Da Rossa
Loveandormoney, a forum is not necessarily a place for asking questions, but for affirmations too. Not always you should expect a question for you; one situation is when you're posting on someone else's topic.

So, the relevant update for you guys: I've broker up with her. Our relationship was unbalanced. She was into me, I wasn't. Didn't want to break her heart in a more severe way in the future.
loveandormoney
Then I ll write answers.
Thank You for Your nice advice.
rx9876
Da Rossa wrote:
Loveandormoney, a forum is not necessarily a place for asking questions, but for affirmations too. Not always you should expect a question for you; one situation is when you're posting on someone else's topic.

So, the relevant update for you guys: I've broker up with her. Our relationship was unbalanced. She was into me, I wasn't. Didn't want to break her heart in a more severe way in the future.


That's a sad ending.
Hope you and her will find another balanced relationship soon.
loveandormoney
A reklationship is not a human.
So for children it is hard to understand:


Mother is saying I love him but it is a bad relationship. Divorce.

Father ist telling the same: She is the most beautiful woman in the world. I love her so much. But the relationship is bad. We must split.
Da Rossa
That's all I ask. A woman I love.
But I can't agree it was a sad ending. It was a necessary ending. Wasn't pleasing, but it would end up way uglier down the road.
loveandormoney
A woman I love.




Do You like jokes?

I hope You ll answer YES.

OK

Are You Dr. Strange? Mr Cumberbatch? Because this sounds more strange than a house with 2000 doors.

A woman. I love.



Regards
Da Rossa
Thanks for the sarcasm. Very helpful.
loveandormoney
A woman. I love.

A car. I drive.



Why dont Your write:

Beautiful eyes drive me to the moon?
Da Rossa
LOL I'm laughing now.
Yes, this is the only thing I can do now. I had a boost in my professional life, but I had three relevant deceptions in the love live in the window of one month. Two of them today only.
So please, bring me more of your nonsensical words. No irony intended in my part.
loveandormoney
Da Rossa wrote:
LOL I'm laughing now.
Yes, this is the only thing I can do now. I had a boost in my professional life, but I had three relevant deceptions in the love live in the window of one month. Two of them today only.
So please, bring me more of your nonsensical words. No irony intended in my part.





I hope
we can repeat this today.


LOL I'm laughing now.


Ladies and Gentlemen this is the entrance to love:
LOL I'm laughing now.




Yes, this is the only thing I can do now. I had a boost in my professional life, but I had three relevant deceptions in the love live in the window of one month. Two of them today only.

*
Do You have enough oil?




So please, bring me more of your nonsensical words.


1

2


and 2.9




No irony intended in my part.


What is an iron in the form of an Y ?
Da Rossa
Ok, anyone else has anything to contribute?
tonberry
Frankly, I even have no clue what the conversation was about, like a completely foreign language to me Smile
Da Rossa
So what about reading at least the first message in this topic, mate? Smile Maybe you have a relevant input for me! Smile
tonberry
Well, you definitely did the right thing by ending this! It was a smart decision and your conclusion was spot on. You may want to get it over with earlier (I don't know the timeframe of it all etc.). On the other hand, from what you say, she set the tone of that relationship as secret and you first wanted it to be more official while she was slow about it, so in some small part she was responsible for the way things went. First she pulled the brakes, then you did.

How is she doing after this time? Is she ok by now?
loveandormoney
I agree.
Its a sad ending. I am sorry.
Possum
I got a speeding ticket on the way home from work. But the time I got home I was already getting Text messages from my work mates.

Everyone knows...
Da Rossa
I haven't heard of her since she's been transfered to another building. But just to be clear, she didn't actually press the brake at the beginning, she wanted it, but secretly because she feared her parents; I, on the other hand, didn't want it to become "official" because I had no true feelings for her, but I was honest about it. She was ok with it.

So I realised it wasn't good keeping on. I would eventually confront her father without properly having a right to, but rather a feeling of moral duty to throw his character at his face. It would be a lose-lose endgame.

@loveandormoney: sad for her, I believe, because of the tone I used in the farewell message. It was very assertive though.
tonberry
All seems good then!
Da Rossa
Not necessarily. As I told in this long-story topic for the sequel: http://www.frihost.com/forums/vt-163611.html

As I said there, after ditching her, my friends said I could pilot the Enola Gay without remorse.
tonberry
Maybe it will serve her right and she will start fighting for hers, acting more like an independent woman. Who knows!
Da Rossa
That's the whole point of all it. I hope she takes off.
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