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How to have my mother to accept my GF?





Chickenwaii93
My girl and I have been dating for not long about a month but I do know that she is the one I'm willing to marry. Recently I just talk with my mom about my girl but unfortunately my mom was not able to accept her due to the fact she is an Indian mix [ can't really recall how mix is she due to she herself is also not sure ] Lol. My only parent, mom is a very caring and understanding mom that place all her efforts and fortunes on me and I'm grateful but when it come to this case, I would say she is a bit close minded. It upset me too that she said she can't accept my girl because of a) religion, b) critism from relatives, c) affect next generation, d) dark skin colour < for (D) she never said this but I felt it from her words and expression when I talked with her. My mom also said that she will respect my decision if I decided to marry her one day but this will create a distance between me and my mother and I don't like this.

The next day, my gf and I almost break up when i talk to her about my mom. It seriously upset her until now. Fortunately we did not break up. My girl promise me that she is willing to learn chinese hopefully able to get my mom to like her through communication.

So can anyone especially people that have been through my situation give me some advice how to make my mom accept my gf? I don't want to break up with my girl and I don't want my mom to get upset.
loveandormoney
Let Your darling cook for Your family.
StriderVM
Do the standard thing,

Respect them, talk casually to them and possible the normal stuff.

But sadly people perceptions usually do not change unless in very rare circumstances.

Like telling Republicans Obama isn't a terrorist muslim black man feral. I know it's politics again but just understand the point of view. Changing someone's opinion is nearly impossible because people are inherently biased. Smile
loveandormoney
StriderVM wrote:
Do the standard thing,

Respect them, talk casually to them and possible the normal stuff.

But sadly people perceptions usually do not change unless in very rare circumstances.

Like telling Republicans Obama isn't a terrorist muslim black man feral. I know it's politics again but just understand the point of view. Changing someone's opinion is nearly impossible because people are inherently biased. Smile



Changing someone's opinion is nearly impossible

My Drear Mr. Singing Club



Changing someone's opinion is nearly impossible


REALLY?



Changing someone's opinion is nearly impossible



You are joking.

But this is serious, no joke.


So
if You are what You like the better Obama

Fire at once
all teachers
all therapist
kick out all NGOs
tell all priests to go home.

Do You like humans?
rx9876
Chickenwaii93 wrote:
My girl and I have been dating for not long about a month but I do know that she is the one I'm willing to marry. Recently I just talk with my mom about my girl but unfortunately my mom was not able to accept her due to the fact she is an Indian mix [ can't really recall how mix is she due to she herself is also not sure ] Lol. My only parent, mom is a very caring and understanding mom that place all her efforts and fortunes on me and I'm grateful but when it come to this case, I would say she is a bit close minded. It upset me too that she said she can't accept my girl because of a) religion, b) critism from relatives, c) affect next generation, d) dark skin colour < for (D) she never said this but I felt it from her words and expression when I talked with her. My mom also said that she will respect my decision if I decided to marry her one day but this will create a distance between me and my mother and I don't like this.

The next day, my gf and I almost break up when i talk to her about my mom. It seriously upset her until now. Fortunately we did not break up. My girl promise me that she is willing to learn chinese hopefully able to get my mom to like her through communication.

So can anyone especially people that have been through my situation give me some advice how to make my mom accept my gf? I don't want to break up with my girl and I don't want my mom to get upset.


Did you mean Native American or people of India?
According to the description of skin color, she might be people of India.
Religions and food can be a big problem, if you live with your mother.
Others can be overcome by putting some efforts.

Stage some situations to make they know each other better,
and show the good sides of them,
then there is a change that they will like each other.
loveandormoney
"customs and food can be a big problem, "

This is the biggest problem in every country in the world.
Please show me a country
where this is not the biggest hot topic:

Africa no
America no
Asia no
Europe no
Australia no

Maybe the penguins do not have a problem with food and customs.

You are funny.
johans
that takes time dude.

I suggest she should be visible frequently from your mother and help your mother in household, on this way your mother will think that she is a good girl and could take care for you in the future if you get married with her.

As they say, Mother knows best!

Very Happy
codersfriend
I guess you should give them more time to know each other
loveandormoney
johans wrote:
that takes time dude.

I suggest she should be visible frequently from your mother and help your mother in household, on this way your mother will think that she is a good girl and could take care for you in the future if you get married with her.

As they say, Mother knows best!

Very Happy


MAN

Wait.

Go toi bed
Wait until girlfriend and health and money are visiting you.

Take time.
Relax.
Let the women do their job.
tonberry
So of all the languages your GF could be forced to learn, she has to learn Chinese... poor girl Very Happy

The worst case scenario is that those two won't get along and it can still be ok. It's not your relationship with your mother that might suffer, but your time could be the victim. If those two can't be in the same room, you'll have to find time for both separately in those rare circuimstances like Christmas etc.

If you decide to have kids, they may suffer as well. Kids tend to ctrl+c -> ctrl+v what they see in the family they are raised in and it doesn't matter whether those are good or bad things. If they see broken lines of communication, they could get wired for dysfunctional families themselves.

One slightly disturbing thing is that after meeting a girl for a month, you are sure she is the wife material. If you're 15 years old then I guess it's a normal belief due to the lack of experience, but trust me: you need to live with someone in the same house for 2 years to know if she is a wife material. Except some ultra-rare excetions that I'm sure are happening here and there, this is a golden rule and they should teach that stuff in school so that everyone knows. Unfortunately, you learn that when enough of your friends make a stupid mistake of thinking too much about someone they know too little about too early.
johans
loveandormoney wrote:
Let Your darling cook for Your family.


Really?

For me its up to you.
loveandormoney
Quote:

but your time could be the victim


What does this mean?
Do You talk about Your watch?
tonberry
About his life span and also about wrinkles!
loveandormoney
This is a bad future.
Do You like to live this way?
I think, it is not sounding happy.

But maybe laughing and happiness is to boring for this world.
Da Rossa
Hey so how are things going right now? It's been four months already! Did you talk to your mum?
loveandormoney
I guess : No.

This is the experience of the thread.
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