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Split families





chasbeen
My family is split up between Europe and North America. I feel the need to see everyone at least annually.

Have you experienced this?

I have had other relatives that prefer to remain apart...
deanhills
I'm absolutely with you on this one. I'm split between Canada and South Africa. One of the reasons I found my way to the UAE is to visit South Africa more regularly. Vancouver is almost like on a different planet travel wise for visiting South Africa, particularly when average leave allowances in Canada are 15 days. Don't know what I'm going to do when my contract in the UAE comes to an end in September. Probably should look for another position here, but need to put some roots down somewhere and one obviously can't do that over here.
coolclay
I don't envy anywhere with oceans or continents between their families. My family is 7 hours away and that is far enough! When I do settle down I'd like to at least be within a days drive of my family.

I am getting married in Oct. so who knows what the next year will bring in terms of relocation. My fiancee's family is from Connecticut and mine from Pennsylvania which isn't that bad if w settle somewhere within a days drive of both.
chasbeen
DH and CC. That's an interesting opinion. I guess your 2 guys 1 generation back from me. It gets more complicated when you pass the half century Smile
BigGeek
My family lives in Northern Virginia and I live in Colorado, no oceans in between but 2K miles. Now that I am older it really sucks, I would like to be closer to my 82 year old mom, and my sister who is having health problems. It sucks when all I can do is talk to them once a week on the phone, and maybe get back there twice a year to visit. It would be nice to have them close so I could help them with trips to the store, hospital, where ever, and help with other things like home repairs, car repairs and such.

It sucks having 2K miles between us, I couldn't imagine an ocean and a continent!
standready
My family is too close most of the year (9 miles). The rest of the year, they are still too close (1500 miles). Sometimes an ocean separating us would still not be enough. Maybe a planet in another universe would be far enough away.
rx9876
Actually I think the distance of people is not physically, but emotionally.

If the family is loose, they have no interactions even live in the same city.

If they feel close to each other, the physical distance will not be a problem.
People could use the Internet to do video chatting if they have financial constraints.
Other people who are much richer will fly frequently or move to near place.
The real problem is when one of them occurs accidents, and the others could not know or get there quickly.
deanhills
rx9876 wrote:
If they feel close to each other, the physical distance will not be a problem.
I disagree. If one part of the family is situated far from the other so that they can't visualize the environment of the other, can't share in what is happening in that environment sooner or later there will be a point of disconnect. If you move away you can be close for only so long, it is logical that when the two sides get used to not seeing one another and carry on their lives without having the other physically present in it, that the closeness would naturally get less.
chasbeen
The Internet helps to maintain communication however it is not a replacement (yet) for someone being physicLly present

I waived my son off todY, he's flying back to Canada as I type this.
Insanity
I have a split extended family on various different continents. It's nice to see them once in a while and I think it would be nice if the whole family was together, but sometimes it just can't be helped. It's a good occasion to go visit them and it's a good excuse to go travelling. The Internet makes it much easier to communicate with everyone around the world too.
spinout
I suppose my sister could live a bit closer to me... 1 hour drive... But other than that I am quite fortunate
chasbeen
Sometimes the difference in miles makes things worse than they are.
We all find excuses to be down?
deanhills
I remember before I emigrated from South Africa to Canada I made a long list of pros and cons on both sides. I never calculated in the emotional separation from family and friends. I couldn't visualize or feel it at the time. All of those family and friends are part of who we are. It's almost as though one has to completely start who one is from scratch and every bit of growing into the new ID is also growing apart. I never realized too how different people can be even when they speak the same language as there was a huge difference in expressions and use of the English language from South Africa to Canada. Would have been better to move to Spain so one knows there is a radical difference in language and to learn it from scratch in comparison with subtle differences that turned to be really confusing. I eventually worked through all of the hurdles, but I'd imagine the changes that happen make us grow slightly different without our friends and family from our countries of origin. It's almost symbolic with developing a slight Canadian whereas our friends and family don't go through that. Having said that though, the bond with family is still firmly in place. Just not into all of the family secrets the way I used to be. Which in a way I'm happy with. But that can act as separation too. When things are being hidden so you won't jump on the plane to come to the rescue. And eventually it becomes the norm. You get excluded from the nitty gritty little secrets that make up family bonding and the family member that doesn't live at home any longer.
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