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How to get your boyfriend to act more mature





zaza99
I have a boyfriend who is 19 and 20 in a couple of months and my parents keep saying he is really immature for his age which is holding me back and stopping me from growing up. I want to prove them wrong and show them he can grow up. He isn't very independent and sometimes he acts like a child.

How do I help him grow up?
loveandormoney
zaza99 wrote:
I have a boyfriend who is 19 and 20 in a couple of months and my parents keep saying he is really immature for his age which is holding me back and stopping me from growing up. I want to prove them wrong and show them he can grow up. He isn't very independent and sometimes he acts like a child.

How do I help him grow up?


STOP
playing his mother.
Give him a chance.
If Yoo treat him same way like You do today
then You will have every day a lot of trouble and no fun.

Regards
StriderVM
I wouldn't suggest it as well.

Your other half will change if he wants to, and since you don't like his "immaturity" I'm sure there have been quarrels or maybe even fights, so he knows what you don't like.

So the important part is already there, he knows what you don't like, it's now up to him if he wants to change, even if you force him to change he won't really change unless he really wills to.
Blaster
Don't try to change him he is who he is. Best way though is to say if you don't start acting your age I'm done. Usually that will straighten a guy out.
kaysch
zaza99 wrote:
I have a boyfriend who is 19 and 20 in a couple of months and my parents keep saying he is really immature for his age which is holding me back and stopping me from growing up. I want to prove them wrong and show them he can grow up. He isn't very independent and sometimes he acts like a child.

How do I help him grow up?


Welcome to Frihost, zaza99. I see this was your first message.

I agree with what the other people wrote here: You can not change somebody else's personality. And if your parents don't like your boyfriend - well, that's then something to discuss with them, not with your boyfriend.

My suggestion would be to make clear to your parents that he is your boyfriend, you love him the way he is and that they should learn to accept it and respect your decision. It is very common for parents to have difficulties in accepting that the child they raised has come to an age where she takes her own decisions and makes her own experience. But that is part of growing up and starting one's own life.

On the other hand, if you agree with your parents comments about your boyfriend that is something you need to discuss internally. In my mind there is no problem criticising each other in a good relationship. However, don't expect too much.
loveandormoney
Blaster wrote:
Don't try to change him he is who he is. Best way though is to say if you don't start acting your age I'm done. Usually that will straighten a guy out.



That is the meaning of the game.
standready
zaza99 wrote:
How do I help him grow up?

You don't! When you have decided that you have out grown him, you leave.
Welcome to Frihost!

Blaster wrote:
Don't try to change him he is who he is. Best way though is to say if you don't start acting your age I'm done. Usually that will straighten a guy out.

Considering everybody matures at their own pace, you think that will work?
Blaster
Standready i've seen it work before. Sometimes it takes a little push to see it yourself that you need to grow up. Not saying this is an overnight process but it can help.
loveandormoney
Do men need push?
Blaster
Sometimes.... People in general need a push every now and again. They may be thinking they need to do something but are either too lazy or trying not to grow up. For example someone acting immature may be trying to push away the fact that he is getting older and needs to grow up. This is hard for some people to do and it may take a bit of a push for them to do it.
loveandormoney
Blaster wrote:
Sometimes.... People in general need a push every now and again. They may be thinking they need to do something but are either too lazy or trying not to grow up. For example someone acting immature may be trying to push away the fact that he is getting older and needs to grow up. This is hard for some people to do and it may take a bit of a push for them to do it.


Are there no adults in the worlds.

Do the adults use so much drugs every day for have a push for leave the bed?

Frightening!
interapps
Acting more mature, means giving up your own small desires for the good of others. Perhaps your bg is too young to do this, after all hes just 20!
codersfriend
like they say. Girls mature faster than guys
Blaster
codersfriend wrote:
like they say. Girls mature faster than guys


This may be true in some cases. But for someone like me I matured faster for the fact I was involved in the fire department.
rx9876
interapps wrote:
Acting more mature, means giving up your own small desires for the good of others. Perhaps your bg is too young to do this, after all hes just 20!


It depends on the experiences of life, but not the age.
People encountered difficulty and survived well are more mature than the others.
loveandormoney
interapps wrote:
Acting more mature, means giving up your own small desires for the good of others. Perhaps your bg is too young to do this, after all hes just 20!


There is a difference between

relationship
and education.

People who educate their partner are not able to have sex.
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