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I was accused of taking advantage of a woman





Da Rossa
Just to share with you how disgusted I am with the last woman I hang out with.

We used to see each other in the past year. No feelings in my side, and I believed that, despite she showing a good deal of attention while she was with me, she used to disappear sometimes. I did the same, so no big deal. Then a common friend told me that she sent me to hell, because I didn't even care about one little health problem she got. By the way, she was nowhere to be seen, so I couldn't get the notice about that. I said to our messenger: "in response, tell her: 'may God bless you'". And I stood for more than a year without seeing her.

Then I eventually bump on her in college. She told me she had been thinking about me. I thought "ok.." Then we talked about random things, like my academic thesis, then I invited her to my place to "take a look". She came promptly. When she arrived, she said "you know I didn't come here to read your thesis". Good, I thought. The kisses started.

We were in a very private environment so I asked her to begin undressing, she agreed. But she told me up front that "whatever you think is gonna happen today, it won't." I got the message, and did not insist. Nevertheless we whent to my bedroom, and we undressed, but she refused to take out her panties. She said she was in her period. Ok. We did an 'almost-sex'. She loved. And maybe she got close to an actual orgasm when I attacked her neck. I enjoyed a lot also.

Then, we kept talking on the phone and through WhatsApp. One day, I was sleeping out of time (from 11 AM to 1AM, I was very tired). She called me two times with a more than 9-hours interval. What she did? She assumed I was avoiding her and vanished. Not before saying: "I know, I don't do what you want then I'm unfit for you. Handsome, intelligent, caring.. where was my head when I began liking you?". Then she blocked me from Facebook and WhatsApp. I couldn't even give her an answer.

I must say I'm not that upset because I didn't love her. On the other hand she was starting to love me, I believe. The bad thing is that she now thinks I'm a vampire, that just want to take advantage of her big butt.
rx9876
Sad story.

We all need friends.
Maybe she misunderstood your friendly actions.
You took her as a girl friend, but she thought her as a girlfriend.

Maybe the relationship should be confirmed before getting physical.
loveandormoney
Make peace.
Change Your way of life: Be honest.
Invite her for dinner and talk about Your wishes.

Silence destroys You.
TheLimey
Got to watch it these days boys. A good friend of mine was in a long court hearing being accused of "rape" mainly because the girls boyfriend caught them at it and she could not admit it.
rx9876
TheLimey wrote:
Got to watch it these days boys. A good friend of mine was in a long court hearing being accused of "rape" mainly because the girls boyfriend caught them at it and she could not admit it.


That's serious.
Hope your friend got something to fight back and proved his innocent.
loveandormoney
TheLimey wrote:
Got to watch it these days boys. A good friend of mine was in a long court hearing being accused of "rape" mainly because the girls boyfriend caught them at it and she could not admit it.


Is he now in prison?
How long has he to stay in prison?
Can he understand now?
TheLimey
He was found innocent due to the fact she did not stick to her story. His lawyer made her look terrible in court after he made her slip up. All a bunch of unneeded stress everywhere.
rx9876
TheLimey wrote:
He was found innocent due to the fact she did not stick to her story. His lawyer made her look terrible in court after he made her slip up. All a bunch of unneeded stress everywhere.


Dating with somebody in another relationship sounds like a complicate case.
To clear the trace to keep it in secret, and to keep the evidences to prove innocent at the same time.
GuidanceReader
TheLimey wrote:
Got to watch it these days boys. A good friend of mine was in a long court hearing being accused of "rape" mainly because the girls boyfriend caught them at it and she could not admit it.


OMG! That is absolutely disgusting! I am glad to hear he got off, but that kind of thing sticks with you for a long time. Poor fella.
Da Rossa
I'm back. Sorry for the long time.

Quote:
Maybe she misunderstood your friendly actions.
You took her as a girl friend, but she thought her as a girlfriend.


On the contrary, I wasn't intending to be 'friends' with her. Maybe we could eventually get friended, I wouldn't discard that. But now I've seen how uncontrolled she is.

Quote:
Maybe the relationship should be confirmed before getting physical.


Sometimes the physical thing is a component of knowledge about the other person.

Quote:
Make peace.
Change Your way of life: Be honest.
Invite her for dinner and talk about Your wishes.

Silence destroys You.


I couldn't be more in peace then I am right now. Except for the part she thought I was "one of the ordinary, advantage-taking men". We almost had sex, she said no, I did not insist, but made clear my intention. How could I be more honest? Days later she rings me when I'm asleep and a naturally don't pick up. Then she assumes I'm avoiding her because 'she's not allowing me in'. This is nonsense!

Quote:
Got to watch it these days boys. A good friend of mine was in a long court hearing being accused of "rape" mainly because the girls boyfriend caught them at it and she could not admit it.


I've heard some horror stories very similar to that myself. Thank God I didn't take part in any of them. All because the girl was embarassed to admit the affair.

Quote:
Hope your friend got something to fight back and proved his innocent.


Today I don't really think he will be convicted. These cases are quite common. When the verdict approaches, the girl flips at the edge of making the guy face a 20 year sentence.

Quote:
He was found innocent due to the fact she did not stick to her story. His lawyer made her look terrible in court after he made her slip up. All a bunch of unneeded stress everywhere.


I hadn't yet read this post when I commented on the quote above Very Happy Good for him!
codersfriend
hi there. There are many possibilities why she said that. Probably it is also a ruse to avoid you which might suggest that she is also seeing someone... or she also regrets the night you had.. some girls feel uncomfortable sleeping with guys they don't love.
But as you said, since you had no feelings for her, I guess you shouldn't feel bothered about it. Well life should go on
Da Rossa
Quote:
hi there. There are many possibilities why she said that. Probably it is also a ruse to avoid you which might suggest that she is also seeing someone... or she also regrets the night you had.. some girls feel uncomfortable sleeping with guys they don't love.
But as you said, since you had no feelings for her, I guess you shouldn't feel bothered about it. Well life should go on


You're right about the last part. Life should go on.
About the first part, then I believe it was way too early to speak of love. Everything came up with attraction.
Last year, when we hooked up, I always though she had something else to do besides me. Read: another friend(s).
loveandormoney
TheLimey wrote:
He was found innocent due to the fact she did not stick to her story. His lawyer made her look terrible in court after he made her slip up. All a bunch of unneeded stress everywhere.


Innocent is very good.

Congratulations.

Stay innocent!
peopleverse
Da Rossa, she may now run around and talk about how much you are a terrible person, but judging from what you're saying, you're probably better this way than if you and her would try to work out some kind of stable relationship with each other.

The reason for that is: because she doesn't seem stable Smile Overattached and then overaggressive are obvious signs of unstable molecules running through her veins. You're probably better off mate!
Da Rossa
Quote:
Da Rossa, she may now run around and talk about how much you are a terrible person, but judging from what you're saying, you're probably better this way than if you and her would try to work out some kind of stable relationship with each other.

The reason for that is: because she doesn't seem stable Smile Overattached and then overaggressive are obvious signs of unstable molecules running through her veins. You're probably better off mate!


You got it exact, Peopleverse!! She is definitely not stable! I am better off, even she thinking of me as an 'advantage taker'. Just because I didn't pick up the phone twice while I was sleeping? Please!
loveandormoney
Quote:

You're probably better off mate!



I was exprecting this.

Why do humans want to stay with somebody, who is producing trouble?
codersfriend
The easier you got her,
the easier you lose her
Da Rossa
Quote:
Why do humans want to stay with somebody, who is producing trouble?


Haha good point! I have other things to do instead of getting worried with someone problematic.

Quote:
The easier you got her,
the easier you lose her


Is that an absolute rule? There are people that come easy and die hard. For others you battle a lot but lose in the first opportunity.
codersfriend
Da Rossa wrote:
Quote:
Why do humans want to stay with somebody, who is producing trouble?


Haha good point! I have other things to do instead of getting worried with someone problematic.

Quote:
The easier you got her,
the easier you lose her


Is that an absolute rule? There are people that come easy and die hard. For others you battle a lot but lose in the first opportunity.


I just got it from a lyric used by different songs Smile
"easy come, easy go"
Although yeah I have seen some cases where some got strong who started out of that.
loveandormoney
codersfriend wrote:
The easier you got her,
the easier you lose her


Love (relationship) is not fighting.
Or am I wrong?

Why do You make problems out of one kiss or more kisses?
Da Rossa
Hi, I'm back.
Yes, good point, relationships are not about fighting. But some people do make a case when they start interpreting your behaviour after kissing for the first time. In my case, I hung out with that woman for some time then she already thought we were supposed to like each other. Things were flowing smooth until she became problematic.
johans
it happens also on my end. specially if you are on the private area. We admit sex is hard to refused but if you have a girlfriend that you love most then you avoid it.
loveandormoney
Quote:

they start interpreting



Talk
talk talk


This is a very easy way to stop misunderstanding.
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