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I miss a friend





Mrs_Robota
The funny is that I have been never hurt by a love relationship, I mean, I never had problem with boyfriends, the only people who really get to break my heart are my friends... my best-friends, now I miss one and I don't know what to do... besides he owe me money, I just miss his company, his stupid jokes and the things we used to talk and share, I did for him many things (I am the kind of friend that if is called at midnight by phone, just go for help)... I don't know if he has gone only because he didn't want to pay me, or I really don't know what to think, his excuse for a fight was quite ridiculous for me, despite of that I had tried to understand... I keep some pride and I don't send him any message since months, anyway he was who hurt me, I never failed him, but I really would like he talk me again... I just think he is a bastard and nobody taught him what mean loyalty. I am a good friend, I am loyal and I continue waiting for him... even if he never come back... Although I need it, I don't care about the money, I only miss him very much...
rx9876
I think you should consider will you be happier being pride and alone or contacting him.

It doesn't help if you don't do something.
My suggestion is :
Contact him with a excuse by asking a minor favor that he used to help you,
for example, asking a short ride or being a shopping companion.

If he doesn't want to go out with you, it's obvious.

During the time you're together, and you ask politely about why he doesn't contact you so long.
You can make choices according to his answer.

Sometimes in a relationship, people don't evaluate the opponent like the other one does.
Maybe you take him as your best friend, but he doesn't.
Mrs_Robota
Life is complicated and people can do things one can't expect....
loveandormoney
Quote:

. I just think he is a bastard



Is this friendship in Your country?
Interesting.
Mrs_Robota
loveandormoney wrote:
Quote:

. I just think he is a bastard



Is this friendship in Your country?
Interesting.


actually I wanted to say that he is an ******, but I think is not so polite word... no he is not here...
loveandormoney
Quote:

actually I wanted to say that he is an *****


Why do You not give him a chance?
Mrs_Robota
loveandormoney wrote:
Quote:

actually I wanted to say that he is an *****


Why do You not give him a chance?


of course I am able to give him a chance, friendship is about to give, true friendship is loyalty, I can wait him all life, but it's not up to me, he just doesn't care... for some people is quite easy to discard people, they put them in their past and just leave without look back never again... how easy is to let someone down, it really can break not only the heart, but the spirit, and it is supposed we only have to move on... the only reason I still believe in friendship is because I exist, but I'm pissed off and I'm not able to trust in anybody else, I only feel that I need to fix it. Love is not only between lovers. Although I am losing the faith, I still keep the hope.
loveandormoney
Quote:


but it's not up to me,


Loyalty is only to be done from one side.
Is this relaxed?
rx9876
If losing this friend is hurting you so much like you said,
you will do something to fix this relation.

If you don't want to try anything but wait,
you might not miss / love him enough to give up your other emotions like self-pity, self-protection, pride, etc..
Mrs_Robota
you know how easy is to judge, when you don't live a situation?. people now is so superficial, people now think that can get rid of everything and everybody. That's not matter of self pity, but we can't just go there releasing and dragging whatever we want, it needs to have a sense and a reason, one need to do the right thing in the right moment, one need to think how it would affect to the other person involved, and how you can make him understand, that it was not the way... maybe is complicated to understand for people who had everything, I mean a daddy, a mommy, lot of friends, good people around, quit you all that, quit you every good thing you had in your past, and only put in your life this person who appeared in the moment you less could imagine for give you a hand, and teach you that life is not only the pain and sorrow it seems... some friendships are not easy to let die, mainly if you were crush enough with this friend and if you really felt that he had to continue in your future. It just makes not sense that he just went apart, I think this mourning is worst than to lose a lover, because it really get to stab you in the feels, deep inside, and you have not rights for say anything else, even if you didn't understand why?, I usually never show my feelings, I have some pride, I will never be behind anybody. I like to share with people but I always make everybody know that I don't depend of anybody, but then I think why the heck I miss him so much and why I feel that I need to wait...
I think every person that we got to know in our lifes is important for all what mean the time we passed with him/her, for all what we gave and shared, no matter how many time can pass, it has changed us and it will last forever in our whole lifes.
loveandormoney
rx9876 wrote:
If losing this friend is hurting you so much like you said,
you will do something to fix this relation.

If you don't want to try anything but wait,
you might not miss / love him enough to give up your other emotions like self-pity, self-protection, pride, etc..


How about tio make peace?

Or is peace in relationships a stupid thing in the year 2013.

Is relatiionships nowadays built on: You are guilty. I am clean.

?
codersfriend
As they say, time heals. Just don't rush things quickly
Mrs_Robota
should I tell to a person how much I miss him?

or should I just keep silence?
rx9876
Mrs_Robota wrote:
should I tell to a person how much I miss him?

or should I just keep silence?


Read my post above again.
Do something if you care, and do nothing if you don't care.
Mrs_Robota
just found this quote
"Waiting is a sign of true love and patience. Anyone can say 'I love you,' but not everyone can wait and prove it's true."
I don't care about my boyfriends, I would never do something like that for them, but for my friends... I don't know the feeling is quite different, I can really feel that I am able to give my life for them. Of course I care.
loveandormoney
rx9876 wrote:
If losing this friend is hurting you so much like you said,
you will do something to fix this relation.

If you don't want to try anything but wait,
you might not miss / love him enough to give up your other emotions like self-pity, self-protection, pride, etc..


This is very clever.

If there is a pain in a relatilonship
the best way is
to repair the relationship.
Why?
You wil feel so much better
and You have a lot of fun with Your friend again.

Just think of the advantages of friendship
and how much boring it is
to sit alone in a room with a TV machine.
Mrs_Robota
loveandormoney wrote:
rx9876 wrote:
If losing this friend is hurting you so much like you said,
you will do something to fix this relation.

If you don't want to try anything but wait,
you might not miss / love him enough to give up your other emotions like self-pity, self-protection, pride, etc..


This is very clever.

If there is a pain in a relatilonship
the best way is
to repair the relationship.
Why?
You wil feel so much better
and You have a lot of fun with Your friend again.

Just think of the advantages of friendship
and how much boring it is
to sit alone in a room with a TV machine.


if were so easy...
bulleting89
just forget and find new friend
DesquisiadoMoral
Well, like in a relation ship maybe you need to talk each other to define what you'll do with your life friendship or just was ''little things''
Quote:
his excuse for a fight was quite ridiculous for me


I don't know what quantity of money maybe you think he can thieve but how did you perceive him? can he able to steal you??
Mrs_Robota
bulleting89 wrote:
just forget and find new friend


people are not disposable and I am not superficial

DesquisiadoMoral wrote:


I don't know what quantity of money maybe you think he can thieve but how did you perceive him? can he able to steal you??


I can say it, but then the whole post would change of direction...
loveandormoney
Mrs_Robota wrote:
loveandormoney wrote:
rx9876 wrote:
If losing this friend is hurting you so much like you said,
you will do something to fix this relation.

If you don't want to try anything but wait,
you might not miss / love him enough to give up your other emotions like self-pity, self-protection, pride, etc..


This is very clever.

If there is a pain in a relatilonship
the best way is
to repair the relationship.
Why?
You wil feel so much better
and You have a lot of fun with Your friend again.

Just think of the advantages of friendship
and how much boring it is
to sit alone in a room with a TV machine.


if were so easy...



We all want to help You.

Tell us the problem out of Your view?
abhinavm24
i too miss a lot of my friends but Confused
life must go on and so am i. Smile anyways Wink it hurts sometimes.
loveandormoney
Quote:

i too miss a lot of my friends


Are You interested in them?
rx9876
abhinavm24 wrote:
i too miss a lot of my friends but Confused
life must go on and so am i. Smile anyways Wink it hurts sometimes.


That's true.
People need to move on when someone they care had less interactions.
Maybe we're busy.
Maybe they're busy or they're too far away.

Take some actions if you want to change the situations.
If you don't want to do anything, take it and move on.
CHAOS-THEORY
i think u should let go (y)
well my part; i get annoyed i just drop the person; i know how real friends are, real people not fakers; they come back by their own, but fakers they just take what they need then.. months years goes by u wont hear shit from them, that's why i do it my way.
priorities, my wife my daughter anything else is forbidden, well unless they don't mess up (friends).
and believe me at the end; emm u ll find ur self with just the best to have... true peeps if u know what am sayin (;
Mrs_Robota
rx9876 wrote:


Take some actions if you want to change the situations.


I'm taking actions... wish me some good luck, I need...
loveandormoney
Quote:

i think u should let go (y)
well my part; i get annoyed i just drop the person; i know how real friends are, real people not fakers; they come back by their own, but fakers they just take what they need then.. months years goes by u wont hear shit from them, that's why i do it my way.
priorities, my wife my daughter anything else is forbidden, well unless they don't mess up (friends).
and believe me at the end; emm u ll find ur self with just the best to have... true peeps if u know what am sayin (;




I am learning here in the forum:
Friends and Parents and Husbands are like
furniture
if they are clean enough : THROW them away.

Merry Christmas.

i know how real friends are = furniture


Or soldiers, follow Your command?

***
they come back by their own

When You did a mistake.

***

that's why i do it my way= that's why i do it the common way.

unless they don't mess up

unless they don't mess up

unless they don't mess up


the best to have
the best to have
the best to have

if u know
I am sorry.
I understood.
rx9876
Mrs_Robota wrote:
rx9876 wrote:


Take some actions if you want to change the situations.


I'm taking actions... wish me some good luck, I need...


Good news.
Hope you could fix this relationship.

My close friends gather every several months.
It needs someone to call the gathering and arrange the details.
It's harder and harder when we're getting older,
because we have our own work, hobbies, families.
Mrs_Robota
rx9876 wrote:


My close friends gather every several months.
It needs someone to call the gathering and arrange the details.
It's harder and harder when we're getting older,
because we have our own work, hobbies, families.


what you say is true, sometimes I think that the only time I would see him again is when he is dead and I visit his grave, he is very old already... it makes me really sad
I had another friend before, he was for me like a father, I could not save our friendship, I wouldn't like that it happen again
loveandormoney
Quote:

It's harder and harder when we're getting older


This is true.
So do not wait for tomorrow.
markharris
No doubt friendship is a precious relation.
loveandormoney
Yes.

All stay together happy together with friends
tonight
Holy night
are happy.
Mrs_Robota
the thing that kill you is when you can't understand what happened... if all seemed ok and you totally counted with your friend...
finally after long time, he answered me and I can't recognize him... he seems to hate me and I don't know why...
there were not excuses for break our friendship, he only invented them... he only see the bad now... misunderstand all... wrong assumptions that for him become the only truth. I only feel that we need to talk, but he doesn't want to hear me... it breaks me totally
rx9876
Mrs_Robota wrote:
the thing that kill you is when you can't understand what happened... if all seemed ok and you totally counted with your friend...
finally after long time, he answered me and I can't recognize him... he seems to hate me and I don't know why...
there were not excuses for break our friendship, he only invented them... he only see the bad now... misunderstand all... wrong assumptions that for him become the only truth. I only feel that we need to talk, but he doesn't want to hear me... it breaks me totally


Bad news...

There are some tips.
Calm down and hold your sadness, hurt, or other emotions.
Try to accept his feeling,
because he's the owner of his own emotions,
even you think it's not reasonable.

If you could do that,
you could try to let him know you could accept his expression,
but you just don't understand.
Some people will be angry when they hear someone say that,
then you have to apologize for your unawareness,
and try to convince him to talk about it.
The most important part is
to make him realize repairing your relationship will bring more good than bad.

Yeah, it might make you feel unfair, like why should I do these, or why doesn't he just tell me.
If you want to recover your relationship, that's you have to paid.
Mrs_Robota
rx9876 wrote:

Bad news...

There are some tips.
Calm down and hold your sadness, hurt, or other emotions.
Try to accept his feeling,
because he's the owner of his own emotions,
even you think it's not reasonable.

If you could do that,
you could try to let him know you could accept his expression,
but you just don't understand.
Some people will be angry when they hear someone say that,
then you have to apologize for your unawareness,
and try to convince him to talk about it.
The most important part is
to make him realize repairing your relationship will bring more good than bad.

Yeah, it might make you feel unfair, like why should I do these, or why doesn't he just tell me.
If you want to recover your relationship, that's you have to paid.


thanks for your tips, I really need to know how can I fix it... I can't think in anything else...
loveandormoney
Quote:

the thing that kill you is when you can't understand what happened...



Yes.
This is true.

So I wonder why the most people do llike so much the silence.
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