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HIV+ pregnant woman and HIV- men with a marriage prospect





Tidos
I am in a serious relationship, we have been dating since January we are engaged and intend getting married. My partner is 6 months pregnant and she went for HIV test on the fifth month. The results came positive and I did test too and mine came negative. My life insurance rejects covering her. I don't know what to do. She is now living with me in my own house and she came with a 5 year old child from her previous marriage and she is only 33 years old. Should I proceed and marry her or should I just let her leave ?
SonLight
You have to consider the risks to yourself. To choose marriage would be an act of selfless devotion, and should not be entered into without thought and serious counseling if possible, way beyond the level you can get on a forum.

On the other hand, allowing her to stay or assisting her to find an alternative stable living arrangement would be an act of ordinary compassion. My advice, which should be taken with a lot of salt, and I may be sticking my neck out be not having an attorney help me draft a formal disclaimer, would be to first of all make sure you protect your own safety, and secondly that if you are able and willing, allow her, her child, and her child-to-be to remain at least for a time until both of you can wrap your head around what to do long term.
loveandormoney
Quote:

To choose marriage would be an act of selfless devotion,


Can a woman explain me this sentence, please?

Regards
SonLight
loveandormoney wrote:
Quote:

To choose marriage would be an act of selfless devotion,


Can a woman explain me this sentence, please?

Regards


My temptation was to answer, "No, but a man can", which would be nonsense. "Devotion" indicates compassion, caring, or love (which women excel at more often than men do, in my humble opinion). "Selfless" indicates putting the interests of another ahead of your own. In this case, it is a man who must make that choice.
kaylors
By asking a question like this, on a forum full of strangers, you have already shown you are not capable of rock-solid devotion to this woman. Your heart is not fully in it. I am not judging you, just saying that I feel is the situation.

In such a case it's better not to get into a full-on marriage. Marriage is, or at least should be, a hundred percent commitment of the heart, mind and soul. Seeing as that isn't the case with you, you shouldn't go forward with it and risk an incident sometime in the future. Help her as a friend, help her all you can, and then go your own way. In the long run, better for the both of you.

If you can make some arrangements for the kid, you should.
Da Rossa
Look, this is difficult, but this has to come from yourself. At first, do not think about the insurance problem, it's circumstantial. The whole thing is about you two. Do you love her? Really do? Then think fourth-dimentionally (seeing the future): you'll have to take care not to get HIV. This means you'll have to use condoms. Still, this is circumstantial. Condoms should not be THE obstacle; the love shall prevail. And the sex shall not be less exciting also. It's all about caring to each other.
The problem is, her condition can evolve, and she could die. But this is an hypothetical, the feeling you two have for each other are certain. Again, love should prevail. If you love each other, then you'll both take all measures to have a healthy life: use condoms and let her take the (I don't know how to say in English) HIV suppressor. It will debilitate her, but still, it's better than "calling it a life".
abhinavm24
sad... Crying or Very sad
loveandormoney
SonLight wrote:
loveandormoney wrote:
Quote:

To choose marriage would be an act of selfless devotion,


Can a woman explain me this sentence, please?

Regards


My temptation was to answer, "No, but a man can", which would be nonsense. "Devotion" indicates compassion, caring, or love (which women excel at more often than men do, in my humble opinion). "Selfless" indicates putting the interests of another ahead of your own. In this case, it is a man who must make that choice.


Question:
Is it ok, to make jokes in a topic like HIV?
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