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Cheating: Is there some secret code or something?





Cruxader
My wife and I were talking about this the other day. We've known a handful of people who habitually cheat on their spouse. The gist of our conversation turned to HOW people cheat. I guess it's a good thing we don't have it figured out. We both joked were not sure how anyone would have the time to cheat anyway.

Is there some secret code or something? Something to say, "Hey, I'm interested even though I'm married." Many of the people I've known to cheat regularly aren't what you would consider to be super attractive. In most cases it's what I would classify as a regular looking guy or gal. Like I said, I guess it's good I don't really get it.
rx9876
I saw some anonymous web sharing about their affairs.
Most of them start from flirting or complaining their spouse.
loveandormoney
It has to do a lot with compllaining.
dustindallas
If you have to cheat then something is wrong with the relationship.. I think that if you want to have sex with more than one partner then you and your significant other(s) should be able to agree and work things out and be open about it. That is just my opinion, not agreed upon by everyone. If you and your partner agree to be monogamous then you should hold to that agreement, if you two (or more) cant agree then you shouldnt be partners. If you agree or want an open relationship then you shold not have to cheat or do it behind ur partners back and should be able to discuss it.
GuidanceReader
I am guessing that those who cheat are not really invested in their relationship so have more time to 'look'. Once there is an attraction, it's probably easier to dismiss your prior commitments to another and build a relationship which then turns into an affair. I don't think there is a high percentage who deliberately think that they're going to go out and seek an affair, before it actually comes into reality.
codersfriend
Some of them are just bored and wanted something different which caused them to cheat
TheLimey
Usually when someone is cheating it isnt how it is imagined. People imagine that it is in spite to the partner the person is with. Cheating happens due to emotions built up between two people. (I am talking about having a second relationship, not a dumb drunken kiss at a bar). Emotions build up between two people and they feel a "love" feeling. The mistake was entertaining the emotions and allowing them to grow together. When really it should have been left alone at the start.

The person does not necessarily hate their partner and they will feel guilty every time they are with the other person. There is no "code" but there is tell tale signs.

Is your partners phone always on silent? Do they hide their phone when checking texts or are they open infront of you (where you can see the screen). Not that you have trust issues, but just so they dont mind what you see.

Have they distanced themselves from you or find any ecuse to fight with you. Do they use the terms "are we even going to work out?".... this being said can relate to "Are we going to work or shall I go with the other person before they are gone?".
TheLimey
Truth is people cheat not because they are "cheaters" but because they are not happy where they are and are technically still looking for that one person. Without being lonely...
pauline5765
There are some people who are simple unhappy with their current partners or the current relationship is already falling apart or has already fallen apart.

While some are really just cheaters and had developed a habit of doing so and been afraid of commitments.

And... these people obviously have the time to flirt. Smile
loveandormoney
dustindallas wrote:
If you have to cheat then something is wrong with the relationship.. I think that if you want to have sex with more than one partner then you and your significant other(s) should be able to agree and work things out and be open about it. That is just my opinion, not agreed upon by everyone. If you and your partner agree to be monogamous then you should hold to that agreement, if you two (or more) cant agree then you shouldnt be partners. If you agree or want an open relationship then you shold not have to cheat or do it behind ur partners back and should be able to discuss it.


Just talk about:
Do we want to marry?
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