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Why true love is so difficult?





cooky24
It is difficult to find the true, the one who really love you, do not care about money, house,car, families or others, just love

Why true love is so difficult? we just can find it in film or TV. Have you see it in your real life? my answer is no. and why a people who is not blood relationship with you should love you? and why you should love a no blood relationship?
rjraaz
It is not much difficult to find true love. It is all depend on our own honesty. Sometimes people want that their partner is always be honesty with him. But, does really those people be that much honest with their partner.

First You have to ask yourself that "What is True Love?"


Of-course everyone want to feel "True Love", but it is a real fact that only few of us that much lucky to get one in our life. When we meet someone and fall in love with him/her that is still not a true love. If that person able to share you feelings again that is not the true love.

But it is our first step to have that amazing feeling. Falling in love is not a true love but it is something more than it. Your partner must be always at the your first place trust because in absence of it every relationship can't survive for a along time.
bukaida
Anything pure is difficult to get both in nature and in relationship. Most of the people calculates the benefit and loss before proceeding to any aspect. Love using brain cannot be true love but love using only heart may be true love. One most common example of true love is the love of mother for her child which do not expect any return. Love unconditionally is a true love.
RosenCruz
It is 2000s. Everything is new, so called post-modern, fake, both easy and hard to reach Rolling Eyes
spinout
BIG TOPIC!!! More than a general chat!

Well, NO -> true love does not exist!!!

And another thing; as a man I can say that I have never met a female with a brain!!! Rolling Eyes

hm - > If I was some sort of god I would have created it, and not only wars... Then again it might be another universe where love do exist!

I heard of a storie that might be true: A man felt true love for a woman that not loved him back. He got mad and poored acid in her face. Every day he took care of that woman, was her vision (she lost eyesight) and did everything for her. The storie then puts it like she understood his point och eventually learned to love that man sitting next to her day and night. And it was true love between them ever after... Rolling Eyes Well, sounds like a fairytale - and the acid part... Shocked
standready
spinout wrote:
And another thing; as a man I can say that I have never met a female with a brain!!! Rolling Eyes

I guess you hook up with the wrong females then. My friend has brains (except for dating me) and loads of common sense. Only reason we are not married - she has brains! plus believes only to marry is for children and she does not wish to bring a child into this screwed up world. I am happy with that and will stay with her in spite of it.
johans
cooky24 wrote:
It is difficult to find the true, the one who really love you, do not care about money, house,car, families or others, just love

Why true love is so difficult? we just can find it in film or TV. Have you see it in your real life? my answer is no. and why a people who is not blood relationship with you should love you? and why you should love a no blood relationship?


for me it is not difficult perhaps you make your self difficult that's why you find it difficult. Think its simple and easy so that your life make more positive than you thoughts.
spinout
hah, for 45 years... the wrong ones all the time Laughing

I think the closest to love one can come is the affection for animals. Still that don't count...

Ha ha - true love don't exist!
Vanilla
The feeling that you call love in general is the one that appears after passion dies (which occurs generally after 3 years with your partner). It has to do with respect and companionship. It would be easier to blame the internet cause in a matter of minutes you can find someone that likes the same things you like and tis easier to lose track of your current relationship... It happened to me before and I don't think it will cease to happen so soon. To me, love is the combination of hormones and moments. I know precisely why my heart is skipping a beat and why it feels like I suddenly lack air.

Someday I might even find someone so I can pass my beautiful genes ahead, but I trust that this decision will be based on a more rational thinking that just the feeling that my heart is beating oh so fast I'm going to die now.

spinout wrote:
BIG TOPIC!!! More than a general chat!

Well, NO -> true love does not exist!!!

And another thing; as a man I can say that I have never met a female with a brain!!! Rolling Eyes


That's a pretty bold affirmation you got there. Maybe you should move to another place? What happens to me is the opposite, men here fear brainy women. That's too bad, I won't be playing stupid just so I can find myself a boyfriend. Smile
loveandormoney
cooky24 wrote:
It is difficult to find the true, the one who really love you, do not care about money, house,car, families or others, just love

Why true love is so difficult? we just can find it in film or TV. Have you see it in your real life? my answer is no. and why a people who is not blood relationship with you should love you? and why you should love a no blood relationship?

I think it is very easy.

I think it is difficult to find somebody for fighthing
because then You have every day trouble and
You will also have problems with Your parents and Your friends.

Also You make Your family happy, if You like a true relationship.


In TV there are never true relationships.
inuyasha
Because we have to live. I mean no offense but honestly Love can not feed anyone.
Aredon
cooky24 wrote:
It is difficult to find the true, the one who really love you, do not care about money, house,car, families or others, just love

Why true love is so difficult? we just can find it in film or TV. Have you see it in your real life? my answer is no. and why a people who is not blood relationship with you should love you? and why you should love a no blood relationship?

I don't personally believe in true love. I believe that love and relationships are what you make them and what you chose. The fact is relationships are work, it's work to get along with someone, it's work to see past their faults and love them anyway. It's not some fairy tale happily-ever-after crap. Love, in the truest sense of the word, is how much you still care about someone despite the fact that things aren't perfect. That's love.
metalfreek
Is there a clear definition of true love? I don't think so I think the closest one gets to true love is when you feel that you can spend rest of your life with your partner but that also changes with time that's the reason why people get divorced. So, to sum it up I don't believe in true love.
linux1993
I seldom see this thing. In many cases, true love will go bad because of money or power. Especially in this real society, money and power often change people to the other one they never be before
loveandormoney
inuyasha wrote:
Because we have to live. I mean no offense but honestly Love can not feed anyone.


What do You want to say with "feed anyone"?
spinout
Still I am 100 sure that true love don't exist. And have still not met a female with a brain Smile

This is a bit sad, or? If true love would exist that would be so attractive that the world would collapse! Sorry the whole universe would collapse into a singularity (hm thats the scientific word eh?) !

So without true love the universe can exist! Only! or?
deanhills
Love to me is some kind of heaven that happens in perfect moments of the relationship. Somehow people then like to relive those perfect moments by coining those perfect moments with the label of love. That's the danger point of course, as once we are at the stage of trying to "relive" perfect moments, love becomes something that has to be worked at. And when one is in the position of "hoping to relive perfect moments", love becomes an expectation that can easily be disappointed. Guess it's better to leave love alone, and to just enjoy one another unconditionally. Some of it good, some of it not so good. But bonded in a great way.
IceCreamTruck
True love is patient. We live in an instant gratification world, so most people who say true love does not exist simply haven't been patient enough to realize it. If you are desperate for true love, then wait for it -- I fully realize that this advice does not fly in today's society.

I wish that they would split up the definitions of "love" in the English language, much like in ancient Greece, so that we could speak of different kinds of love without having to simply understand the unspoken differences in the many kinds of love that there are.

Maybe it will help to define what is not True Love.
True love is not selfish. True love is not needy. True love is not mutual although both partners can experience True Love for the other partner. True love does not require a return. True love is not an accident, but starts with a choice, be it conscious or unconscious. True love is not always present, but it can grow almost anywhere. True love is not racist, biased, or conditional.

Can anyone else elaborate?

PS. As to the original thread topic I must make a distinction: I think the OP originally meant "why is true love so difficult?" whereas "Why true love is so difficult?" is a malformed question because it's really a statement with a "?" on the end, which lacks clarity. If you change the OP thought to "why is true love so difficult?" then I feel this also doesn't make sense because I feel that True Love is compulsory, which means that it happens by default if you have it. I don't mean to split up, or break down, the OP topic, but I am just trying to add clarity to the original topic so we are all on the same page. That being said, I think the original poster actually means "Why [is] true love [...] so difficult [to find]?" which is a very popular question indeed. Am I off base? Is this the intent of the OP? I think this is how most people are translating the question in their minds given the answers provided.

"Why [is] true love [...] so difficult [to find]?" <-- this is the question that I answered.
deanhills
IceCreamTruck wrote:
Can anyone else elaborate?
Agreed with what you said ICT. Think we go wrong when we expect our partners to make us happy so love can blossom. We have to be able to be happy ourselves and contribute that love to the relationship. It's what we bring to the relationship, rather than our expectations of what the relationship should bring to us, that counts in the end.
IceCreamTruck
deanhills wrote:
IceCreamTruck wrote:
Can anyone else elaborate?
Agreed with what you said ICT. Think we go wrong when we expect our partners to make us happy so love can blossom. We have to be able to be happy ourselves and contribute that love to the relationship. It's what we bring to the relationship, rather than our expectations of what the relationship should bring to us, that counts in the end.


I appreciate that, Deanhills! Just wanted to say, however, that my original post has been edited, and since you stated you agree with everything I said I wanted to let you know, so you can see if that is still true. I'm kinda crazy, so you might want to check me, oh wise sage samurai of frihost! Smile
ocalhoun
spinout wrote:
Still I am 100 sure that true love don't exist. And have still not met a female with a brain Smile

Funny, the woman I'm in (true) love with has a brain...
For one thing, despite english being her second language, she writes better than you do.

Sure, many say that true love doesn't exist... that's just because they over-mythologize it. If you love your partner, and your partner loves you... and neither of you are faking it, that's true love, as far as I'm concerned.
IceCreamTruck
ocalhoun wrote:
If you love your partner, and your partner loves you... and neither of you are faking it, that's true love, as far as I'm concerned.


People over-complicate, but that is pretty well said, and simple. Your post made me laugh, but I'm not going to get into it, cause it's not very uplifting! Bad, Ocalhoun... *snicker* *snicker* very bad! lol
deanhills
IceCreamTruck wrote:
*snicker* *snicker* very bad! lol
I was giggling a bit too. Then read your post.

I don't understand how one can say it's true love very early in a relationship. Love maybe, but true love to me means it has to be tested first, and there is nothing that can test love like plenty of time, going through the good and not the good together, reaching a plateau, getting bored a number of times. Life's not only good, but it has its bad and boring in it too. And love can't always exist without it's offsetting negative, hate. I'd say the more kiss and make up there are, the truer the love gets. And that always takes time.
sudipbanerjee
What does True love means? For a short span one may forgot about money and other related things. But for a life long time is it possible? We can't live a life depending on true love. For me true love is an ideal situation. It only has theoretical aspects. For practical life we have to choose the best love we found. In that case we have to choose love with some material value.
IceCreamTruck
sudipbanerjee wrote:
What does True love means? For a short span one may forgot about money and other related things. But for a life long time is it possible? We can't live a life depending on true love. For me true love is an ideal situation. It only has theoretical aspects. For practical life we have to choose the best love we found. In that case we have to choose love with some material value.


I think the point is that true love comes at a cost. It rarely benefits the afflicted, because it's nature is that you will love regardless of what anyone else does, and our nature is to take advantage of anything good. Mostly, if you are the one afflicted, people will take advantage of you. For instance, if I am in true love with my wife, then everyone and their brother is trying to sell me over priced diamonds. Diamonds are not even rare, and yet they want tons of money for them. They have no interest in my well being, but only my wallet.

You're not looking for true love, but a "mutually beneficial relationship" or a relationship that benefits you. True love happens regardless of value, and more often then not comes at a price.
loveandormoney
spinout wrote:
Still I am 100 sure that true love don't exist. And have still not met a female with a brain Smile

This is a bit sad, or? If true love would exist that would be so attractive that the world would collapse! Sorry the whole universe would collapse into a singularity (hm thats the scientific word eh?) !

So without true love the universe can exist! Only! or?


Do boys have a brain?

How about gay relationships?


Can You explain me these two sentences?

1 "Still I am 100 sure that true love don't exist "

2 "If true love would exist that would be so attractive that the world would collapse!"

A man with a brain could do this.


So I have a question too:
Why do people like to fight with their parents or their friends or with their darling?


Regards
TheGremlyn
deanhills wrote:
Love to me is some kind of heaven that happens in perfect moments of the relationship. Somehow people then like to relive those perfect moments by coining those perfect moments with the label of love. That's the danger point of course, as once we are at the stage of trying to "relive" perfect moments, love becomes something that has to be worked at. And when one is in the position of "hoping to relive perfect moments", love becomes an expectation that can easily be disappointed. Guess it's better to leave love alone, and to just enjoy one another unconditionally. Some of it good, some of it not so good. But bonded in a great way.


I like this. It makes sense to me. For the most part I'm afraid of the L word and in my recent relationship it felt like an expectation. At first we'd agreed it would mean something when we said it, if we said it too often it would just be another word. I finally built up the courage to say it and it was kind of a big moment for me. But then there was the expectation that it should be spoken more often, that it needed to be said and heard by my partner so that he could feel good. I can't say I appreciated the pressure and it really ruined it for me.

I would have been completely content if we never worried about suck a thing. We might have enjoyed one another company more, instead of fretting over when you had to say the L word. I would rather spend my days telling someone how much I like them in the most ridiculous and cute ways because that's more fun and true.

Side note: I kind of associate these strong feels you're supposed to have when you're 'in love' to infatuation. I was so completely into someone I was blinded by it and I felt it deep in my chest and I was burned so badly by it. Perhaps I am mistaken in linking to two but I can't say I know what Love is, aside from a very strong feeling...
deanhills
TheGremlyn wrote:
Side note: I kind of associate these strong feels you're supposed to have when you're 'in love' to infatuation. I was so completely into someone I was blinded by it and I felt it deep in my chest and I was burned so badly by it. Perhaps I am mistaken in linking to two but I can't say I know what Love is, aside from a very strong feeling...
This is a good description for me too. When I started to analyze a "love" relationship for myself, I always wondered whether I'm incapable of love by society's standards. In the end I think that harping on it so much makes everything into a fairy tale. If both partners buy into that fairy tale, then good for them. I know at least one relationship where the woman keeps reinventing the same fairy tale, and the guy is completely into that. Probably because he really loves her. For me however the best relationships have been the ones where love was not a big issue. It just was there, we didn't create it or felt we needed to discuss or refresh it. It was just awesome to be together or even to be apart. Never felt as though we were apart even when we were.
codegeek
Everything that is worth getting seems to be be difficult to get. For example, a good job, lots of money, good family relations, true friends, true love, good health all take a certain amount of effort to achieve and maintain. Otherwise, they wouldn't be worth achieving I guess.
loveandormoney
TheGremlyn wrote:
deanhills wrote:
Love to me is some kind of heaven that happens in perfect moments of the relationship. Somehow people then like to relive those perfect moments by coining those perfect moments with the label of love. That's the danger point of course, as once we are at the stage of trying to "relive" perfect moments, love becomes something that has to be worked at. And when one is in the position of "hoping to relive perfect moments", love becomes an expectation that can easily be disappointed. Guess it's better to leave love alone, and to just enjoy one another unconditionally. Some of it good, some of it not so good. But bonded in a great way.


I like this. It makes sense to me. For the most part I'm afraid of the L word and in my recent relationship it felt like an expectation. At first we'd agreed it would mean something when we said it, if we said it too often it would just be another word. I finally built up the courage to say it and it was kind of a big moment for me. But then there was the expectation that it should be spoken more often, that it needed to be said and heard by my partner so that he could feel good. I can't say I appreciated the pressure and it really ruined it for me.

I would have been completely content if we never worried about suck a thing. We might have enjoyed one another company more, instead of fretting over when you had to say the L word. I would rather spend my days telling someone how much I like them in the most ridiculous and cute ways because that's more fun and true.

Side note: I kind of associate these strong feels you're supposed to have when you're 'in love' to infatuation. I was so completely into someone I was blinded by it and I felt it deep in my chest and I was burned so badly by it. Perhaps I am mistaken in linking to two but I can't say I know what Love is, aside from a very strong feeling...


Good morning. I have some questions:
Does love make to see more or does love make blind?
Is it good to have expectations in the relationship or is it bad to have expectations?
Is it real in a true love, that the situation is changing from "flash of lightning-love" to "daily love"?


Regards
zaxacongrejo
Passion can blind you not love, love only shows up after the passion
jajarvin
You will not find true love searching, because true love will find you. So, sit back and wait patiently for the appearance of true love.

Most of the events in your life are completely random. Just think of it, how did you last selected a book from the library.
Or what food you bought yesterday?

And when at last the true love enters your life you will find that your expectations were not in vain.
loveandormoney
zaxacongrejo wrote:
Passion can blind you not love, love only shows up after the passion


How do You love without passion?
ocalhoun
jajarvin wrote:
You will not find true love searching, because true love will find you. So, sit back and wait patiently for the appearance of true love.

Completely, absolutely, totally WRONG.

You want love, you need to go find it. You won't find anything if you just sit around sticking to the same routine... except for boredom, pointlessness, and bitter disappointment. (Unless you're just fabulously lucky.)

If you want something -- anything -- you need to take action and go get it. The path of least resistance is usually also the path of least fulfillment.
deanhills
@Ocalhoun. Think I differ on this one. Best relationships that have happened to me were the ones that came out of the blue. Not the ones I pursued. I think if we are relaxed, and enjoy what we are doing while we are out there vs of course sitting at home and doing nothing, life does have its way to meet our subconscious needs. We attract people to us as they are attracted by us. That is, if we genuinely want a relationship of course and not only because it's the fashionable, or "being normal" thing to do. Many people say they want "true love", and may not actually mean it. In which case they probably won't get it, unless they go out and pursue it, and then quite often with those pursued relationships, they come with expectations that cannot be met by the pursued party, and then disappointments.
loveandormoney
ocalhoun wrote:
jajarvin wrote:
You will not find true love searching, because true love will find you. So, sit back and wait patiently for the appearance of true love.

Completely, absolutely, totally WRONG.

You want love, you need to go find it. You won't find anything if you just sit around sticking to the same routine... except for boredom, pointlessness, and bitter disappointment. (Unless you're just fabulously lucky.)

If you want something -- anything -- you need to take action and go get it. The path of least resistance is usually also the path of least fulfillment.


Good morning.
You are right, waiting is wrong. Many lonely people, nowadays 50 or 60 years old are sitting and waiting and wondering.
Maybe the boys and men learnt from their mother: Wait at home and they bring You presents.
shashwatblack
no, i think it isn't that difficult to find true love. i have seen people in true love.
and why love someone with no blood relation?? well, why not? it's great to be in love, to love someone, to have someone who loves you..
loveandormoney
Quote:

no, i think it isn't that difficult to find true love.






It depends.
Some people meet their darling in the schoolyard,
other people stay 70 years alone.
nickfyoung
There are those who would say true love is impossible outside a relationship with God because God is true love. Once one has a relationship with God then one is able to relate that to a partner and find true love.

That being said, it appears that there are just as many divorces within the Christian church system as there is it.

I think love is a decision that one makes every day. When your partner is in a bad mood and is giving you a hard time, decide to love them rather than react to their attitude. When things are good it is easy to love but as humans, things will not always be good. It is those bad times that we have to decide and that will keep our relationship together.
loveandormoney
nickfyoung wrote:
There are those who would say true love is impossible outside a relationship with God because God is true love. Once one has a relationship with God then one is able to relate that to a partner and find true love.

That being said, it appears that there are just as many divorces within the Christian church system as there is it.

I think love is a decision that one makes every day. When your partner is in a bad mood and is giving you a hard time, decide to love them rather than react to their attitude. When things are good it is easy to love but as humans, things will not always be good. It is those bad times that we have to decide and that will keep our relationship together.




Let us talk about God.
How is or how was Your conversation with God?
Is God like a connection-homepage but free of charge?
Yes
church and schisma is a big topic
but the church is Pete and not Jesus.

Why do You have to decide for love every day? Because You had bad experiences with love? Does hate bring better experiences?

How about to help a darling with bad mood?

What things are bad?
Are humans good?
What is a bad time?
nickfyoung
loveandormoney wrote:
nickfyoung wrote:
There are those who would say true love is impossible outside a relationship with God because God is true love. Once one has a relationship with God then one is able to relate that to a partner and find true love.

That being said, it appears that there are just as many divorces within the Christian church system as there is it.

I think love is a decision that one makes every day. When your partner is in a bad mood and is giving you a hard time, decide to love them rather than react to their attitude. When things are good it is easy to love but as humans, things will not always be good. It is those bad times that we have to decide and that will keep our relationship together.




Let us talk about God.
How is or how was Your conversation with God?
Quote:
Is God like a connection-homepage but free of charge?

Yes
church and schisma is a big topic
but the church is Pete and not Jesus.

Why do You have to decide for love every day? Because You had bad experiences with love? Does hate bring better experiences?

How about to help a darling with bad mood?

What things are bad?
Are humans good?
What is a bad time?



Quote:
Is God like a connection-homepage but free of charge?



God is spirit and once your spirit is connected to God so is your relationship/communication.


Quote:
but the church is Pete and not Jesus.



The church is Jesus and not Pete. They got it wrong.


Quote:
How about to help a darling with bad mood?



If you decide to love and not react to the bad mood you will have a much better relationship.
loveandormoney
Make Your daling happy

There is an Italien word:

The love of a man
You can see
in the health of his wife.
Insanity
It's not, you just have to have some faith in yourself.
loveandormoney
Quote:
faith in yourself.


This is the basic
of every word
of every education
for driving the car
and for starting relationships

Regards
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