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Serious help required!





IceCreamTruck
OK, I'm personally pretty upset by a medical event that is happening in my family because I haven't given it much thought, and now I'm in a situation where I have to cope and deal with the circumstances.

My uncle is in the process of having his foot amputated, and I haven't spoken to him or called him because I don't have any idea what to say. Me and my uncle are close distant relatives. Meaning we get along well, but we're not a part of each other's daily lives.

Has anyone dealt with amputation in the family, and maybe have some words to help me through this? It's not happening to me, but I still have to cope with the change because it will change the dynamic of how we interact with him, and I need all the advice that I can get because I'm completely at a loss for words.

I'm going to call him soon, and at least express my concern, and wish him well, but I really need some encouragement for what comes next. I feel like my interactions with him will only make things more painful for him, instead of him feeling like I care about him, the person he is will not change, but the way he does things is going to have to change. How do you make someone feel special and wanted when our natural human tendency is to stair and gawk and makes them feel like they want to be alone.

I want my actions to make him feel loved. Make him feel like we will support him no matter what, and that this doesn't change how we feel about him, even though I'm pretty sure he's going to have a LOT of dependency issues now, because he's always tried to move his own life forward without much support from family, and he's having to fall back on us now.

Thanks for any kind words from experience with this kind of thing.
Vanilla
You should call your uncle and you should let him know that things are not going to change, just like that. Perhaps what he needs more right now is your personal touch, just so he knows that you are by his side in this difficult moment. You don't need to talk about amputation, you just need to let him know that you are with him. It is always good to have close people with you at times like these.

I never had any amputations in my family (I almost got my leg amputated, but that's another story), but that's how we deal with our losses. We're truly not good with feelings or talking about feelings, so we just try to keep close to each other. Trust me, he'll be happy only to hear your voice. Very Happy
IceCreamTruck
Vanilla wrote:
You should call your uncle and you should let him know that things are not going to change, just like that. Perhaps what he needs more right now is your personal touch, just so he knows that you are by his side in this difficult moment. You don't need to talk about amputation, you just need to let him know that you are with him. It is always good to have close people with you at times like these.

I never had any amputations in my family (I almost got my leg amputated, but that's another story), but that's how we deal with our losses. We're truly not good with feelings or talking about feelings, so we just try to keep close to each other. Trust me, he'll be happy only to hear your voice. Very Happy


Very profoundly kind words. Thanks, Vanilla. I will keep your suggestion in mind. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with concerning this uncle, and my biggest problem is that I know he doesn't trust a lot of people, and I want to work past that quickly to show him that I care.
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