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Fun with Auto-Complete: by IceCreamTruck





IceCreamTruck
Don’t you hate when you’re trying to text messages on your phone and you want to add a swear word in an informal message to a close friend, so the auto-type function always suggests, and ONLY suggests, clean words unless you manually go through and add a bunch of curse words to the standard dictionary? We could go off on the people that eliminate words from the English language to make the resulting program on your phone more family friendly, but we’ll save that lynching for another time.

So I’m hitting buttons like 3825464 and it’s giving me back suggestions like “ducking” … as in: “The cabinet door will not hit you in the head if you are ducking” … or in layman, or redneck terms: “We’re going ducking today in our new camouflage overalls”

So I hit the “next” button for more suggestions...
“ducking’s” … is that even a word? …
“ducking’ll”...(who knows what horrors the apostrophe is hiding there?)...
“duckings”...that’s an easy one because it’s an NBA team or
rolling like you have money...“duckinging”... that’s doing what kings do, but they gotta be careful because if they are too “duckingly” then they get “duckinged”... it only has to happen once, fool, and then “duckingness” and all the little “duckingings” have to find their own way...
“duckinger” that’s an easy one too: that’s someone who wants to be da King! ...
“duckingers”... are his poser friends...
“duckingal” … shhhhh, you aren’t supposed to know about her...
“duckingment”... This is where the king lives...
“duckingally” … that’s where all his folks hang out...
“duckingion”... this is the entire expanse of the kings domain...
“duckingable”... well, I don’t know. Are you duckingable?
Able to wear “duckingments” and rule over all the “duckingions”? ...
“duckingive” … now that is a dirty rumor because the king doesn’t ever really give anything away in the “duckingation” nor to it's citizens, “duckingrs”.
Although almost like magic, “duckingic” he “duckingably” ...
“Dublin” and my friends are thinking: “I’m going to get this guy some help. I’m going to block his number from texting me first, and then get this guy some help”

In fact, as you type it out... you can follow along, if you have your phones!

3...D
8...DU
2...ETC an understandable suggestion seeing how we’ve successfully typed ETC
5...Dual because 3825 also spells dual... it really does!
4...Dublin
6...Dublin Again because you do, in fact, strike the keys spelling Dublin on your way down

4...and finally...Ducking

Mean while, on the other side of the country, there’s a christian woman trying to learn how to use a phone that she bought at a garage sale, and she says: “I was trying to text my sister how to avoid getting hit in the head by the cabinet doors, and you’ll never believe the words my phone suggested!” --- thanks for reading! Comments welcome!
IceCreamTruck
Original not copied from another web site. This is one of my original works that I wrote as a stand up bit but never have had a use for until now! Comment away! Smile
Marcuzzo
I've seen this before on 9gag Wink
IceCreamTruck
Marcuzzo wrote:
I've seen this before on 9gag Wink


Maybe someone was close, but this is my writing, sorry.
bukaida
I hate the T9 input (predictive text) and always turn it off. I do not know how people manage them because it is present even in most basic type phones . It is really horrible, specially if you want to type some name. You can type much faster by turning it off.
IceCreamTruck
bukaida wrote:
You can type much faster by turning it off.


Only if you have learned to do so. Why is T9 so popular? Because it's actually faster than normal text typing.

"Come over" - is 21 key presses without t9

"Come over" - is around 9 key presses in t9

Give t9 a chance! If you get good at the next word button then you can become really fast! T9 was only displaced from the worlds fastest texting system by Swype on android.

That and t9 is hilarious to me! The word suggestions are pretty funny!
deanhills
I also turn it off. Partially because it never comes up with what I want and partially because I like complete control. I don't text that much any way so probably in the big scale of things it is not such a big issue.

I must say when I'm typing e-mail messages though that I can get irritated with auto correcting, but I keep it on as some of the auto corrections make good sense. Those that don't I pick up on quickly.
IceCreamTruck
Thanks Dean, Bukaida, and Marcuzzo for participating in this thread, as I appreciate the comments.

I have a question though... did it make you laugh? Predictive text is funny, but I may have made it even less funny -- I dunno. Smile

This humor is like "sniglets": An alphabetical and phonetic dictionary of made-up words.

Y'ump'to (pronounced yump-too) -- Short for "do you want to." Used in a sentence: "I'm going to the store for some more tobacco. Y'ump'to go with?"
deanhills
It both made me laugh as well as grit my teeth at times as I like to move fast. The faster the better of course.
IceCreamTruck
deanhills wrote:
It both made me laugh as well as grit my teeth at times as I like to move fast. The faster the better of course.


Yes, I have already edited for pace improvement, but it still needs work. Maybe one day this little project will be complete. It was something I found amusing that I wanted to write into my own comedy bit for inclusion with other bits that I could perform in stand up. I've never done stand up, but I can make people laugh, but haven't focused on it ever... except here, and a couple other random places.

Anyone else ever tried their hand at comedy?
ocalhoun
IceCreamTruck wrote:
bukaida wrote:
You can type much faster by turning it off.


Only if you have learned to do so. Why is T9 so popular? Because it's actually faster than normal text typing.

"Come over" - is 21 key presses without t9

"Come over" - is around 9 key presses in t9

Give t9 a chance! If you get good at the next word button then you can become really fast! T9 was only displaced from the worlds fastest texting system by Swype on android.

Ha, more like 21 without, and 53 with, going back over and over again to undo the wrong predictions.
(And that's beside the potential for embarrassment when it changes to the wrong word and you don't notice, changing the meaning of what you say... sometimes disastrously.)

No thanks. I'll keep my lower speed for the sake of precision.
I'd rather be slow and precise than be fast and sloppy.
IceCreamTruck
ocalhoun wrote:
IceCreamTruck wrote:
bukaida wrote:
You can type much faster by turning it off.


Only if you have learned to do so. Why is T9 so popular? Because it's actually faster than normal text typing.

"Come over" - is 21 key presses without t9

"Come over" - is around 9 key presses in t9

Give t9 a chance! If you get good at the next word button then you can become really fast! T9 was only displaced from the worlds fastest texting system by Swype on android.

Ha, more like 21 without, and 53 with, going back over and over again to undo the wrong predictions.
(And that's beside the potential for embarrassment when it changes to the wrong word and you don't notice, changing the meaning of what you say... sometimes disastrously.)

No thanks. I'll keep my lower speed for the sake of precision.
I'd rather be slow and precise than be fast and sloppy.


What gets most people is that t9 does actually have function buttons that you must be aware of. At first I didn't think that t9 worked at all, but then I started using it, and it really is faster and give you more control... you just have to learn how to use it right for it to work for you instead of against you.

"0" is the next button... so when it suggests a word just hit "0" until the word you wanted pops up. Really the only annoying thing after you get used to "next" word button is accidentally hitting next when you are on the word you want. Then you'll have to go all the way through the list, and if you do it twice, then it will ask for new word suggestions before giving the word a third time.

Some button on the phone will switch the type style quickly for you, so you can leave the default t9 and switch if you predict that your text is going to be a problem. You would start using it if there was prize money for text speed, because t9 was designed to be faster than 3character texting, and it is.

These word suggestions are the result of hitting the "next" button and were actually suggested to me by my phone. Some of these are not even words "duckingly" ... how does one arrive at that word?
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