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S|ex At Undermaturity





saiyeek
As far as I have discovered and figured out many teens starts indulging in sex before they reach maturity. This is prevalent problem in many countries. We see many teens start having lot of unncessary activities of which their age is not suitable. This has brought about many complications and problems like teen pregnancy, undermaturity problems and I think it is not very good. What people in this forum think all about it. Please reply in this forum, if you find it easy to talk about it.
SilverDogg
well, i think that is up to the persons to decide for themselves when it is their time to have sex. but i dont think you should be too young for it either.

and one problem is probably that these kids dont really understand what they are doing. many of them dont use a condom, and they end up getting smacked up.
budazz
the time is changing so us..we are more in about sex..just dont forget to get protected Very Happy
dan751
I too agree that sexual activities before maturity is wrong. I just wish there was more ways to teach kids that sexual activities before maturity is wrong.
SilverDogg
but when are you mature enough to have sex? im not saying that i think 10 year olds should have sex, but what if they consider themselves to be mature enough?
S3nd K3ys
Define maturity.

Different countries define it at a different age, some at 13, some at 18.
mOrpheuS
SilverDogg wrote:
well, i think that is up to the persons to decide for themselves when it is their time to have sex. but i dont think you should be too young for it either.

If you think we should let them decide whether they are mature enough for it, we shouldn't be complaining about them being too young for it.
What you said kind of contradicts itself.


As for defining maturity, as S3nd said, it varies from society to society.
However, there are no good milestones to correlate age and maturity.
For example, in India the minimum age for getting a driving license and gaining franchise is 18, whereas that for getting married is 21. (18 for women)
So you are mature enough to have a say in the lives of other people on the road, and you are mature enough to have a say in how your country will be governed, but you still don't have a say in your own life !

Biologically humans get mature enough by the age of around 13, but they definitely don't get mentally mature enough until around 17-18.
So that would be my answer if this were a "fill up the blank" kind of question.
byt
I waited and I will do all I can to convince my children to do the same
TreadStone
I think this is because of media and magazine pomping us unconservative lives of celebrities
amusedtoe
First there's no such word in the English language as "undermaturity". They can be underdeveloped, immature, pre-pubescent but not undermature. Maiming language is not good, now go read a book without pictures. Wink
bharatchoragudi
Kids r not told about the consequences of such acts,.. So before blaming it on them they must me educated on such issues
JayC108
The question is, is their really any way to stop underaged sex. Because it seems to me that no matter how hard a parent explains to their children not to have sex, thay completely disregard everything their parents told them.
James007
I would use sperm encryption to ensure complete DNA protection Laughing

Why not, if you think you're ready for it and you know what your doing.

James Smile
sylviakowalski
i believe that kids who have sex before reaching maturity is wrong.. they probably think they are old enough to handle it, but the seem to dismiss all the consequences. kids in their teens think they're know-it-alls, they think the y know best, and can't stand being told what to do.. it gets me pretty upset, kids throwing away their innocence because they just feel like it.. it has a lot to do with the media, and the way they were brought up. i think more positive influences are needed for these kids that struggle to make the right decision.. then again, what type of media would show the better things in life? 90% of news is negative/bad news.. this is a very broad subject too, i can get carried away easily.. but choose not too lol

xo
S3nd K3ys
amusedtoe wrote:
Maiming language is not good, now go read a book without pictures. Wink


OMG!

Coffee.
Nose.
Monitor.

Laughing Laughing Laughing
falconfx
I think everyone must be free to take decisions but only if they know all the risks about doing that thing.

So, a young boy may have sex only by taking all the necessary precautions.
sylviakowalski
falconfx wrote:
I think everyone must be free to take decisions but only if they know all the risks about doing that thing.

So, a young boy may have sex only by taking all the necessary precautions.


i don't agree with that statement at all.

a boy doesn't have enough of a conscience to make the right decision. he's still growing and developing his morals and values. a decision like that will ruin his future and alter his perspective.
DeuCe
I agree with that statement fully. Because who are we to make decisions for other people? When they think they are ready they should go ahead and do it.

And hes right, use all the precautions. Laughing
mceejaydee
My freind is 13 and he already lost his virginity. And he swears on it, he even put his hand on the bible and said it. Man... so young!!
sylviakowalski
mceejaydee wrote:
My freind is 13 and he already lost his virginity. And he swears on it, he even put his hand on the bible and said it. Man... so young!!


i've heard stories of kids losing it younger than that.. its quiet disturbing to think about. he'll regret it when he grows older.. i don't know what the rush is.
waring
Anything below 16-17 is disgusting.
frozenhead
Well, it's parents responsibility to build there kids personality. I guess that sums up all the arguements that can be derived in this topic. Idea




_______________________
:: Proud to be
budazz
frozenhead wrote:
Well, it's parents responsibility to build there kids personality. I guess that sums up all the arguements that can be derived in this topic. Idea




_______________________
:: Proud to be


it is also depends on their environment around them..every parent need to build their children...but they have their own decision
byt
as a paret I do my level best to teach our kids right from wrong but with all the laws about what we can and cannot do to punish them it gets hard, the schools are totally stuffed, they can't do this and they can't do that, they end up telling us that the kids have done something knowing full well we can't do much either.

Sorry to say that I think schools should use the slipper again, never hurt people of my age (I was carefull not to get the slipper) and parents should not be told they can't slap a kid.

I don't agree with beating them just a slap. I also think that in days gone by the police would slap ya round the lug and it did more good than all the stupid papper work they have to do today that see's the offender get off with a telling off rather than a decent punishment.
MaZe
I'm a 17' years old boy and the first time i have had this i was 15.... and i agree with this
Quote:
I think everyone must be free to take decisions but only if they know all the risks about doing that thing.

So, a young boy may have sex only by taking all the necessary precautions.
Slammer
i dont agree with very young children having sex etc. But personnally i dont understand why they would want to at that age :S. I think you have to really love someone first, sex isnt just a physical act, thats where the younger people get it wrong. Im 16, shall be 17 in January and over here the legal age is 16. I believe you have to be truely in love with someone for it to have any meaning, otherwise its just a phyisical act. How can you get anything out of it if you dont love them? :S Some people would say at 16/17 you still dont know what love is. i think they are wrong, some ppl maybe but not everyone. its and individual thing. I know what love is, and have been experiencing it for almost a year now with the girl of my dreams.(still virgins btw). I think the youth need to get more educated on it.
sylviakowalski
byt wrote:
as a paret I do my level best to teach our kids right from wrong but with all the laws about what we can and cannot do to punish them it gets hard, the schools are totally stuffed, they can't do this and they can't do that, they end up telling us that the kids have done something knowing full well we can't do much either.

Sorry to say that I think schools should use the slipper again, never hurt people of my age (I was carefull not to get the slipper) and parents should not be told they can't slap a kid.

I don't agree with beating them just a slap. I also think that in days gone by the police would slap ya round the lug and it did more good than all the stupid papper work they have to do today that see's the offender get off with a telling off rather than a decent punishment.


a bit of discipline never hurt anyone.. i'm not a parent, but i want to raise my kids right.. don't we all?
karysky
I agree with most of what people say.

I think there is a problem with kids who have sex under the age of... let's say 15. I still think it's a bit young but still...

I think that the problem lies with education, in school and at home.

Parents are major influencers in their kids' choices. I find (personnal observation) that kids who are most likely to have sex younger are those who have restrictive parents. I am under the impression that those kids only want to prove them wrong or whatever. And unfortunately, they have sex at a very early age to prove that they are mature and can decide by themselves. That they don't need their parents to tell them what to do with their lives. It's the same thing with drugs and alcohol.

Personally, my parents never forbiddened me to have sex at an early age. Since I'm 13 they tell me: if it ever happens, protect yourself. I felt responsibilised and most importantly, trusted. I never felt pressure to prove them anything about maturity.

The first time I slept with someone was at 18 years old. And at 21, today, I am still with my boyfriend and we live together. Very happily.

There is also a problem in school education. I don't know if it's the same everywhere but here, in Québec, they removed a mandatory course from elementary/high school : the one about morality and sexuality. They replaced it with English classes. They also remove the physical education one (???) to replace it with spanish classes. I am outraged, especially when I see all of those obese children... but anyway, this will be for another topic. The sexuality class was my favorite one, and I learned everything that my parents did not teach me.

Lastly, although I find 15 years old to be a young age to be sexually active, the thing remains that some people are ready. And I absolutely have nothing against people who have sex if they are in love. What astonishes me is when teens have sex because they are pushed by their friends. To be cool.

Making love is not just a physical experience, but some young people do not see it that way: they see it as the ultimate act of maturity, and the ultimate step to becoming an adult in the eyes of others (their friends, their peers, their parents...)

And between you and me, teens who smoke, take drugs and alcohol, or have sex, or whatever, to prove themselves as mature or worse, as "cool buddies" among their friends, are anything but mature.

They only screw up their life.
SilverDogg
morpheus (sorry, dont remember how you wrote it), yea it sort of contradics (im tired, is that how its spelled?) itself, but this is a hard question and its not easy to come up with the right answer.

i myself believe that you should not be too young to have sex. i dont think that a 13 year old should have sex, not that i can stop them but still.

but yet i think that the persons should decide for themselves. do they feel mature enough?
cnnet
yes
the problem has to be stoped soon Idea
HunnyBaby
Well I think its all about the society... i think in america the society makes it so people are having sex before they are mature but in other society kids wait until they are more than mature... and some hit it about perfect that their kids start to ahve sex when they hit the right maturity
and the definition of maturity i think is held in everyones mind differently
and what i mean by the societys... here in america everyone talks about having sex but no one really is and we are too immature and then people actually start having sex and we are still too immature but i think the majority of people dont start to have sex until they are mature enough i know i didnt.
gonzo
saiyeek wrote:
problems like teen pregnancy


Pregnancy is NOT a problem; it is a gift.
Through procreation God allows us to participate in the generation of new life.

Truly the problems are selfishness, lust, licentiousness, control, and usery.
windrei
how do you define "maturity" ? is t over 18 or 21 or others ?

i only think if such things happen, we are returning to our old times. Hundreds of years ago, people get married when they are around 14-16. If we see in modern standard, they are not mature of course. But the world is still going on and come to this moment. So i tihnk the soceity will cope with it. It's not a great problem.
rexrae
The right kind of way is to have sex only after marriage..Its because sex is only a mental thing..if you have a lot of imagination (practice makes perfect) and internet then you can have sex with whoever you care.Of course virtual sex in your mind..The real thing should be postponed to after marriage..having sex and fun is only the beginning, after that a lot of problems like STDs, emotional incoherence, loss of innocence and virtues can lead to a turmoil in later life.But for a marriage this is not so. Also sex actually depends on satisfatcion and happiness....we eat different kinds of foods, not at all good for our mind, fill our minds with grief,doubts,hatred and disbelief and unnecessary needs and cravings and infatuations, so that we tend to find sex as a relaxation method. But after you have it for some time Laughing , and maybe after orgasm you find its no good. In this condition you find your lover beside,then you are saved and if its just another benefit friend then , you are moving the wrong way.
Cravings and infatuations can be better satisfied by having safe virtual sex or masturbation.
So till you marry you are not mature to have sex, but just after you marry you can have as much of it as you need.
blueknot
it's alright and common.

it's about love.

haha.
tribe
As a college student who has witnessed this activity in a dorm but never participated in it; I think your parents have the biggest influence on you. Parents who may think it is HYPOCRITICAL to tell their kids because they did it at the teenage years kill the maturity level.

I think by age 21 is mature in the US... By then you have been dating long enough and soon will be in marriage.

Of course as a Catholic I will wait till I am married due to my parents stong belief in No Sex before Marriage.
byt
I am Proud to say that my wife was my first sexual partner, it was before we married but I was 24
SilverDogg
tribe wrote:
As a college student who has witnessed this activity in a dorm but never participated in it; I think your parents have the biggest influence on you. Parents who may think it is HYPOCRITICAL to tell their kids because they did it at the teenage years kill the maturity level.

I think by age 21 is mature in the US... By then you have been dating long enough and soon will be in marriage.

Of course as a Catholic I will wait till I am married due to my parents stong belief in No Sex before Marriage.


i dont buy that. parents have some influence, but not the biggest. not anylonger. the media is much to blame here, with all sexads and what not.

and mature doesnt necessarily have to come with age. just because you maybe matured when you were 21, doesnt mean everybody else does. i matured at the age of 18, when i met my girlfriend.
artur.h
sylviakowalski wrote:

i've heard stories of kids losing it younger than that.. its quiet disturbing to think about. he'll regret it when he grows older.. i don't know what the rush is.


I have lost my virginity at the same age with a girl even a year younger.
It was a great time, wonderful, crystallic love and I have never regreted it.
Now, more then 15 years later, we are still friends and I have never heard her saying she regrets that.

Love is not evil.
But after all, I am a pagan, not a christian or something.
artur.h
byt wrote:
I am Proud to say that my wife was my first sexual partner, it was before we married but I was 24


I do not get what is there to be proud about.
Grimboy
This is totally case-by-case. I think the biggest problem is young people getting drunk or drugged (Whitch I'm not partiularly against.) and then being unable to think rationally. If both people are fine with it and (at least if it's purely recreational) use a condom then I don't see anything wrong with it at any age.
coolclay
Why waste your virginity on someone you don't want to spend the rest of your life with. Virginity is something that you can never get back no matter how hard you try, why should you waste it.

I plan on not having sex until I am married and it doesn't really have anything to do with religion I just feel that it is the best gift you could ever give your future spouse. Wouldn't it make you feel special if your spouse (husband or wife) waited until they got married to have sex with you, and only you, no one else. It would make me feel pretty damn special, and thats what I want to give to my wife someday.
artur.h
Grimboy wrote:
This is totally case-by-case. I think the biggest problem is young people getting drunk or drugged (Whitch I'm not partiularly against.) and then being unable to think rationally. If both people are fine with it and (at least if it's purely recreational) use a condom then I don't see anything wrong with it at any age.


agreed
artur.h
coolclay wrote:
Why waste your virginity on someone you don't want to spend the rest of your life with. Virginity is something that you can never get back no matter how hard you try, why should you waste it.


You are right that virginity cannot be restored, by why someone should wnat too? It is just worthless annoyance. Easily curable non-contagious disease.

coolclay wrote:
I plan on not having sex until I am married...


Then, you could realize that your partner doesnt suit you in sex, and you will be unhappy making love with him the whole life or you will divorce because of that. And even if you will be lucky, you won't be sure, because you will not know sex with anybody else. Generally, NO SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE, is a very bad idea. It is like going on a very long foot trip with shoes you never tried before.
coolclay
Someone must be pretty damn shallow to get a divorce because of a problem with sex. I don't know about you but I am marrying someone because I love them not because the sex is great, and if the sex isn't great, oh well that isn't going to make me not love my wife anymore.

Quote:
your partner doesn't suit you in sex, and you will be unhappy making love with him the whole life


How can someone not suit you in sex, it all leads to the same thing (climax). I am sorry to break it to you but sex is sex it all culminates with the same thing.
coolclay
Oh, and congratulations Byt, you are one of a shrinking minority.
artur.h
coolclay wrote:
Someone must be pretty damn shallow to get a divorce because of a problem with sex.


no. having a great sexual problem could be very very frustrating and making people unhappy. sex is important part of life for many people.

coolclay wrote:
How can someone not suit you in sex, it all leads to the same thing (climax). I am sorry to break it to you but sex is sex it all culminates with the same thing.


may be (for many people, especially many women, is more important
the sexual play itself than climax), but lets say that you are right

if you have a bad partner (which could be a perfect partner for someone else, it is a matter of personal preferences), you would have a very hard time reaching climax (again, woman are more likely to suffer there), may be you will never reach it. or you can feel pain instead of pleasure. or your partner would like to make things you do not like...
adwya
nooooooooo

its nooo goood Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad
Jack_Hammer
The law defines 'maturity' or the age be 'allowed' to have sex differs in many contries, and those laws have little-no effect on the age that people start having sex, also people are physically mature at completely different ages, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4530743.stm
In america there is more of a problem as they are much less aware of sex than say the netherlands this is to do (As I feel) with openess woman in holland can become prostitutes as a job and lots of young woman do too infact pay for university,
artur.h
Jack_Hammer wrote:
The law defines 'maturity' or the age be 'allowed' to have sex differs in many contries, and those laws have little-no effect on the age that people start having sex


you are right. here in central Europe, at least in Czech republic, it is legal to have sex at 15, but this law applies only when having sex with someone older than 15. if both people are younger, it is legal at any age.

my bet is that at least 50% of girls and 20% of boys loose their virginity before their 15th birthday (or at least practice a non-coital sex).

and it is constantly debated to lower the 15 year border by a year or two
coolclay
And people wonder why there is an overpopulation problem.
jlbribeiro
I'm a teen, and I think we can have sex IF we do know what we are doing. Safe sex above all.
byt
coolclay wrote:
Oh, and congratulations Byt, you are one of a shrinking minority.


thank you
artur.h
coolclay wrote:
And people wonder why there is an overpopulation problem.


there is no overpopulation problem in my country
in fact, we have the opposite problem - not enough children
we have underpopulation problem, like many other countries in europe

in fact, overpopulation problem is often in primitive and/or religious countries,
like in africa and so on, because people there use less contarceptives, less abortions and do not know how tomake sex safely. i bet there is much bigger overpopulation problem in southern usa than in the northern part, isnt?
elcyron
S3nd K3ys wrote:
Define maturity.

Different countries define it at a different age, some at 13, some at 18.


of course girls can have sex with 10 or twelve, have their first child with 14 their second with 16 and die of flu at about age 20.
it worked for centuries.

i think there's slight difference in physical and mental maturity. once the kids can reproduce the're physicly mature. however understanding what they are doing, and being able to take the consequences is something completly different.
johnyfitz
eh. i think it all depends on how your parents raise you. most people engaging in sex early on in life don't really have a grasp on responsibility or consequences.
artur.h
the point is, that there are no concequences if the sex is done right.
therefore it is better to educate children than pretend that sex doesn exist or is evil.


i know normal 15 year old girls having sex every day and not having children.
on the other hand, i know religious christian 25 year old girls crying that they will have a child, because they do not have money to feed it
GiLaD
Look at this in this way: The TV reflects our life, so we try to copy it, and then again the TV reflects our life and we try to copy it... And the loop goes on and on.
Children do what they see in the media, and because the media uses sex to promote and sell things or in movies, etc. Again, we're trying to copy them and there you have it!

WE BLAME THE MEDIA!
the666bbq
sex undermature must be boring, you don't have a clue what you are doing, you're just doing it because people do it, and it is supposed to be cool to do it. I do not say that people, youngsters, are not allowed to do what they want but I think it is stupid. I will always remember the person I lost my virginity with, you realise only when you are far more mature that that and having plain old sex can be special things not to spill just like that
artur.h
it was not boring
it was wonderful
and i was 13
Paul Knight
... have sex before your mature he'd have given girls & Boys the equipment at an early age. errrrm actually he did!!

Not that I go around looking at young girls all the time but it seems that they do appear to have "the full package" long before the age where they are supposed to be adult enough to know what they are doing.

A seemingly exponential increase in physical maturity at younger ages is what causes the problem in the first place. So blame it all on God. Something is going on up there!!

A lot of youngsters might be ready physically, but they can't even comprehend what an adult world is like, so the risk of having a teenage pregnancy is too great in my opinion.

The sexual act is not too much of a problem, but young kids get addicted to things very easy and you could always see the moment where they couldn't be arsed to go fetch a condom or take the pill.
rexrae
People are of different kinds..Some say sex bfore marriage is good,great,fun etc. Some are of more depth in their character and do not waste time having sex bfore marriage rather they learn it the hard way to cope with the urge .

But the people i am talking abt should do anything as their free will and thought, but not under pressure from peers for coolness, abrupt or spontaneously bloomed love or pressure from family and other restraints by caste or religion.

For the second kind of people what develops is the ability to cope with difficulties, chastity and discipline of mind, and a feeling of good and pride in their own goodness in a good way..to put it in another way a spiritual nature. Also this creates a loving and tight knitted family and loving human beings.

Now the use of this nature is for the good of human kind, these people will be more courteous, caring , passionate , romantic and kind. They will have more angelic qualities.

the first kind of people are the carefree type. Their care for the person that they are involved with in the sexual practice is shortstanding, they care for each other for the physical pleasure they give each other. and when that ends their care ends.Of course they think they care, but how can they care if they are only smiling at each other when seeing eachother once or twice in a year or not working for the good of each other or supporting each other in each others doubts , fears, pains and ofcourse joy.They can never attain what they think they can attain, satisfaction, by trying different kinds of 'food' and 'drinks'. these people tend to be selfish and limited in fore seeing their path of movement. they might not have high goals for life or depth in character. The youthful years are very attractive for them, adventurous and filled with fun, just skin deep fun. But in the latter years they are lucky if they can find a good person of the opposite to take care of them.

I sometimes find myself having too much of it and not getting a clue of what i am getting out of it, except if i love my Girlfriend and care for her future and mine and for the good of the world and all the people then things seem to fall in place as i am satisfied to the point where i don't have to have a climax to be satisfied..i am just enough satisfied as i am with loving my Gf deeply.

If you learn to put a ceiling on your desires (and lusts) you will find that this is what you could have desired for, earlier itself.
mceejaydee
I'll wait for losing my virginity. How about you guys? I think most of you are older then 18 haha.
sp_lit
I personally say if both partners give full consent, what is the point of making a huge ****** fuss about it?
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