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How long should you wait after a breakup?





davidv
So my question is, what is an acceptable amount of time for someone to get into another relationship after a breakup? Now, I'm not looking for answers like...

Quote:
When you're over them
When they've moved on
When you've found someone else


Nor am I looking for answers that aren't really answers but instead, are questions like...

Quote:
How long have you known them for?
How close were you to this person?
Do you still speak frequently with them?


I'm looking for direct answers. a week? a month? 2 months? 3 months? a year? 2 years?

Of course, take into account your past experiences but I'm really just looking for the average acceptable amount of time.

Thanks.
Jessicap
There are no direct answers to that question. every relationship is different, as well as, how close you got to you ex.
davidv
Jessicap wrote:
There are no direct answers to that question. every relationship is different, as well as, how close you got to you ex.


I'm sure a simple proof by contradiction can disprove your statement that "every relationship is different". Every? No, but most? Probably. However,

davidv wrote:
I'm really just looking for the average acceptable amount of time.


davidv wrote:
average acceptable amount of time.


davidv wrote:
average amount of time.


davidv wrote:
average time.


davidv wrote:
average
codersfriend
What is the average duration of a relationship before it breaks up?
and why are you posting multiple quotes of the same message? Are you trying to get more points?
davidv
codersfriend wrote:
What is the average duration of a relationship before it breaks up?


No... Rolling Eyes

I said,
davidv wrote:
what is an acceptable amount of time for someone to get into another relationship after a breakup?


codersfriend wrote:
and why are you posting multiple quotes of the same message? Are you trying to get more points?


I recall quoting a block of text gives you little to no points but if you must know, it was used to impose emphasis on what I was looking an answer for but it seems for you, it hasn't worked... but thanks anyway...
Ashebrook
I know you want a hard number. And I could pull one out of thin air for you. For example, my brother was in a very serious relationship that took him years (4+) before he was ready to move on. Then again, he's gotten into others mere weeks after a breakup. Your first reply from jessicap was accurate. There is no right answer because the question is too subjective. You might get a better response to the question if you provided some of the information that you don't want to get as a reply

Quote:

How long have you known them for?
How close were you to this person?
Do you still speak frequently with them?


All of this information would better allow the members to help you out with what you are looking for.
xcustomtoys
it took me 5 years to court a girl. i officially have her as my gf for a year then we broke up. hope it wont take 6 years to move on Sad
eclipious
Most of my friends who have broken up have usually had on average about 3 months before they found somebody new that they wanted to be with. And this is spanning about 4-5 different couples. Some ranging from 1-5 years of time being together so I think it's a pretty good estimate. Granted this is between high school to end of college but I think that even then that's like a really prime dating time so it can suit well Smile


So tldr response: 3 months.
mazito
i think you have in mind the answer that pleases you, you just want to get some idea if your number is ritgh.

but is not possible because what point of view you want? for you or for your gierlfrend?


in the other hand is the social point of view that can be very wide among diferent poeple


in my case is not a number is a process one relationship took me 10 years to move on, in the process i date a lot but i was not bf material for obvious reasons

in this time i have 2 almost 2 years split of my marriage, and i am sure i am ready to be open to other girls (well til my divorce is complete of course.

so if i do th math is 6 years

Laughing
bukaida
It depends on your mind setup. The longer the relationship, the more time it requires to heal. Sometimes shorter relationship with deep bonding is also difficult to forget. Some can never forget it in entire life. On an average, for a happy go like people( extrovert), it should not take more than six month to find another diversion. Believe me, usually it is lot easier for a boy to forget it than the girl. (Because of the inherent polygamist nature of Male) Wink
mazito
bukaida wrote:
(Because of the inherent polygamist nature of Male) Wink


implies inherent hereditary, but that's not true, at least not only between humans, non-religious polygamy, refers to an education designed for the strongest to prevail over women is a social issue.
Coen
There is no answer to that question seeing it depends on the people involved, the situation and many other factors. Seeing you are so hellbent on average being the key to your question (which I personally think is an error in judgment from your part): getting over a relationship will take four to twelve months in most case, but even there individual circumstances need to be taken into account. I wish I had a source for the numbers I just provided, but I read it somewhere and the numbers just stuck, I have no clear recollection of where I read them.

Whether those four to twelve months are true I do not know. You will know when you have moved on, I think. This is an answer you did not want, perhaps because it is a cliché. But they are clichés for a reason: namely because they are true.

People who recover quickly may need less time. It all depends on the situation and how a certain person deals with it/them.

Mind my asking why you are asking this question in the first place?
FunDa
This is very very very difficult to answer.

Both of you will have different feelings about each other. So it is difficult to think what the other person is really thinking.

Once you are comfortable with it, I think you should try to move on completely. You don't want to be partway between as it is not fair to anyone
TheGremlyn
I find people who are invested in their relationship and really cared about their partner can take months or years to get over their partner. In a 2 year relationship I had it took me about 3 years to get over it and move on. Another one I had that lasted 3 months took me about a year because I was ready to move on.

People who never seem as attached to their partner seem to fall in and out of relationships in a matter of weeks.

So, if you were emotionally invested in the relationship, then I'd say 2-5 years, depending on the length of the relationship. If you weren't emotionally invested then you could be anywhere from a couples weeks to a couple months.

Take what you will from this.
evilryu530
i say whatever your heart desires. you will know when the time is right. i suggest dating around and testing the waters before you sink your teeth into a new long term relationship. have fun out there!
donoob88
i saw in the television a drama, love story, a girl says that, "your boyfriend is a jerk, he didn't just wait a 3 months before he get a new girl" well, she just want to say that it should be 3 months before getting a new love, maybe that they could love each other again, hmm, confusing love Razz
______________________
if you don't want to commit mistake from your mouth, don't talk Very Happy
Coen
TheGremlyn wrote:
So, if you were emotionally invested in the relationship, then I'd say 2-5 years, depending on the length of the relationship. If you weren't emotionally invested then you could be anywhere from a couples weeks to a couple months.

Take what you will from this.

I think that it also really depends on the person. In general, men may be more inclined to move on quicker than women do, simply because of the difference in psychology. Even if you cared about someone a whole lot it does not have to take years to get over it per se, it really depends on the context of everything (I think). Just as with your post: take what you will Smile
cnelson79
It does depend on the person, and not how invested they were in the relationship, but how logical and unemotional they can be when things go south. On the rare occasion I enter a relationship, it is with the intent of doing everything I can not to contribute to its death. It has meaning from the beginning and certainly the longer it goes on the more deeply I let myself get attached. But nomatter how long the relationship, if the other person walks away and never comes back on their own without a word from you, it's dead. There's no bringing them back. As great as that other person seemed most of the time, that same person also did not want to work on your relationship anymore, they were not desperate enough to keep you, for whatever reason, they honestly deep down felt they could do better elsewhere, that's only logical to think that when we make the decision to break up. Also logically speaking, it does no good to wonder what went wrong, what you did wrong, but to now relax and celebrate all the negative aspects you are now free of. No one is perfect, there were always things you didn't like about the other person or the other people in their life, something or someone did not sit right with you, they just decided to admit it about you first. The sooner you realize the relationship is over bc that person is no longer choosing to remain engaged, the sooner you'll realize someone else will, and the sooner you'll be ready to go out and find them.
Hello_World
Half the duration of the relationship.
Coen
Hello_World wrote:
Half the duration of the relationship.

I'm wondering on what this is based. Just plain curiosity, not a burn attempt. Smile
busman
Whatever feels right FOR YOU.
Bluedoll
Buy a plant or a pet. If the plant dies or the pet runs away get another. If you still have it after one year then see someone.
johans
Jessicap wrote:
There are no direct answers to that question. every relationship is different, as well as, how close you got to you ex.


I agree... there is no correct answer.. only your self know the best answer when it comes to your past relationship..
pauline5765
Generally, there's a 3 month rule after a break up. At least for me there is. :/

But it's really about when you're already over that person... there's no specific time.. :/
deanhills
Bluedoll wrote:
Buy a plant or a pet. If the plant dies or the pet runs away get another. If you still have it after one year then see someone.
Laughing Poor plant or pet. Pretty much on the number though. I did not get a pet but my plant died.
johannespilz
there is this shitty rule they say it takes half of the time u were together with your ex to get over this relation. i think its not all true because it depends if u broke up for exxample, of course in this case u will move on immediately. its as well about what u want in life. some brake up and say: puuh, now i wanna focuse more on myself, concentrate mor on my own goals than a relationship (cause face it: a relationship gives a lot but also takes a lot of time and investment that you, if u want, could spend in other areas.) and it is as well about your desires. many want to "just having fun" after a realtion. so if it is like that, enjoy the easy life. but after a while everyone has the desire to get closer, to settle down a little with a special person. and thats the point why i think u cant say it, cause when this person comes along 1 week after your last relation u will not refuse her/him but enjoy it. thats life, its suprising and i think you should be open up for such suprises, take it aas it comes than u dont have to think about random numbers or time periods. otherwise u might wait to long, missing opportunities.
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