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i lost my wife





bondiben
I have recently separated (3 months ago) from the women I have loved every day for the last 14 years. We have a 5 year old son....who I f&&ckin love to

we where experiencing several financial stress at the end, which lead to a serious bout of depression for me...but since she has left everything has turned around in my business

After we split she met someone else and started seeing them, not to clear on the details, but I know it's over now.

When they split she called me, she was devasted. I rushed to her to comfort her (didn't know about the break up at that point) She told me she thinks she might love me and whats to go to therapy to sort it out. It's gone from being "i won't wait for you...it's over" to a trial separation for 3 months.

Problem is, I've been put through so much since we split that I think I may have made some bad choices. Everything has always been on her terms...she decided to end it...she decided to call it a trial.

So a few nights ago we had a text fight...because she wanted space...so she doesn't want to talk to me....but whats to see where it goes with therapy.......confused.....yes I am.

I have told her it's over, that I've been through enough, and now I can't wait for her....problem is it's not true.

I am still madly in love with her, and want her back.

The no contact thing doesn't work for me because I love my son and I want to speak to him everyday, which of course means calling her.....

so how do I give her space and still talk to my son.

This break up thing is all new, but she has moved into a new apartment and I travel a lot with work, so we have agreed on 50 - 50 time with my son, problem is I don't have a home at the moment, and because my work is going really well I've been away a lot, so I haven't spent much time with him.

please help
codersfriend
Looks complicated. I'm sorry about your situation.
Anyway I guess you need to set some priorities in your life.
You've mentioned that work has been going well that you no longer spend time with your son.
johans
ohh... sorry to hear that.

I have almost similar story with my best friend. The situation is My Best friend lost job and came up to financial struggle and then his wife left her including her son but as the years go by.. My best friend don't know what to do and could not think which one is good and then he get a job and her wife started the communication when he got the job because she give her money and sometime the go out for dinner but her wife is not contented she wanted to become rich.... finally it end up her wife got a new relationship with a rich guy but then a again as the years go by my friend still working living together with his son 7 years old.
They look good now thanks to God. They can buy what they want in a simply way not too much not more salary he got but they live good now.

I think more girls/wife now a days looking for rich-man to sustain there own need and not looking any more for good looking. Girls are now practical even if you have family.. sad to know but i think it is true.

I hope someday my best friend will find true love.. that will accept what ever trials may be and what ever obstacles in live is on.
menino
johans wrote:

I think more girls/wife now a days looking for rich-man to sustain there own need and not looking any more for good looking. Girls are now practical even if you have family.. sad to know but i think it is true.


I also think this is true, most women want a rich person to enjoy their lives with. When people marry, they make a vow to be together and support each other through all the events that happen in their lives (in sickness and health, in richness and poorness as well).

I feel sorry bondiben that you have to go through this, but you have to let your ex wife go, and try to support your son as much as possible through all this, as this situation is definitely affecting him in the worse.
What your wife has done to you is bad, and the trial thing maybe a chance to see how it works out; so maybe you should take this opportunity to talk to her, and see where you can sort things out. Couple's therapy is a good option for you'll both, and you'll have to juggle it with your work schedule.
Its good that your financial condition is improving though, so you can support your son as well.
truespeed
I think you either have to accept being with her on her terms or accept not being with her at all,from what you describe it seems like she doesn't like you in the same way you like her and you will always be a stop gap until she finds someone "better" If you want to be with her enough to put up with that then play along,if you can't then you need to move on.
johans
it is a sad story.. Relationship is hard to predict.. unlike programs we can do whatever we want to design..

This is life.. need to be hard sometimes in tough situation and soft in loving someone..

Have a blessed day to all.

Very Happy
mukesh
really it is so bad story but johans wrote this statement


johans wrote:


I think more girls/wife now a days looking for rich-man to sustain there own need and not looking any more for good looking. Girls are now practical even if you have family.. sad to know but i think it is true.

I hope someday my best friend will find true love.. that will accept what ever trials may be and what ever obstacles in live is on.


I am also agree with this statements. Now a days maxium girls want attracted the rich society boys.
According to me love means love not should be include rupees and sex.
johans
most Girls now are thinking with there own needs and on there own future only.... really sad but true.
Kyrie94
I'm a psychic and I can tell you this,

She is in a better place, and she wishes you well.
truespeed
Kyrie94 wrote:
I'm a psychic and I can tell you this,

She is in a better place, and she wishes you well.


Not a very good one,shes not dead.
johans
Quote:
Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 11:09 am Post subject:
I'm a psychic and I can tell you this,

She is in a better place, and she wishes you well.


This what happen if just user post right away (in short in a hurry) ... please read at the top.. lol.
TheLimey
Wow man really sorry to hear this. I was married for 3 years and it fell apart after she ran off with her ex which was a real kick for me. It killed me mentally, emotionally and even physically. We had problems and I think the biggest issue with me was how she ended it, she just left and no ending it officially. I dealt with the problem alone and did not seek any help...too much pride I think.

It was really shi*tty however it turned into an opportunity instead. Life is too short to be played around and I met a girl now that makes me feel like no other girl ever has. The problem is, since what my ex did I have extreme insecurities which is unfortuanetly spilling out in my new relationship with this awesome girl, she does not deserve it. I am constantly worried and insecure about everything. However I am feeling myself slowly getting over it and what I am gonna say to you is if you are being played around, I think you should see it as an opportunity for something greater to happen. There is going to be issues and baggage now, but turn it around and make something of a sh*tty situation.

I am now with a great girl and have landed a good job so things are looking up. However, I have been there man with constant depression and emotionally stressed. Turned heavy to the bottle too. AVOID THAT AT ALL COSTS
nguyenvulong
Quote:
I have recently separated (3 months ago) from the women I have loved every day for the last 14 years. We have a 5 year old son....who I f&&ckin love to

we where experiencing several financial stress at the end, which lead to a serious bout of depression for me...but since she has left everything has turned around in my business

After we split she met someone else and started seeing them, not to clear on the details, but I know it's over now.


Yes, it's over. Get used to it and move on .
evilryu530
I can relate.

Here's the deal. Taking her back isn't a choice. It just won't work out. Be friends. Spend as much time with your son as possible. U still have to work to earn a good income. Sve our money up and find a new job that allows more flexibility so you can chill with your son. Be as strong as you can be.
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