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Ending a Relationship





Jonathan10
I'm a new member to the site. I have visited and felt the members give helpful responses so maybe they can help with mine.

My girlfriend and I are both 20 and just finished our first year of college, but we're attending college in neighboring states. We've been dating 2years now and I love her very much. She has a lot of amazing qualities: understanding, funny, caring, etc. The issue is the distance really gets to me and its become hard to deal with having her far away.

I want her to enjoy college and not hold back and she said I haven't caused her to, but personally I get really down knowing shes so far and I can only see her every other month. She's willing to work through it, but i don't know if I can. I feel our timing is just all wrong and once we finish college, internships, etc we can be happy however until then things wont be as enjoyable.

So with that said, am i making a mistake if i break up with her? We are taking time apart for now and it hurt to see her cry so much. I've been thinking about it nonstop and i assume she has too. I really do love her, but maybe I'm unable to handle a distant relationship/need time to grow up. I dont want to hurt her and i dont want to lose her either. Shes so sweet and deserves the best and be the happiest she can be. I know its my decision, but does anyone have any thought on what i should do or maybe see which side im leaning towards from what i said?

If anyone has similar stories or just some words of encouragement itd be very helpful during a hard time like this. THanks in advance
GuidanceReader
If you mutually break up, with the knowledge that it's not over bad things (such as affair/deceit/lack of love) and are both comfortable with the concept of exploring the world until the time is better, and remain friends, then it may be possible to get back together later down the track. If you're meant to be together you will probably end up together.

If you don't break up, chances are you will begin to resent this time which can (not always, depends on the people) lead to bad things (such as affair/deceit/lack of love).

At the end of the day, as always when talking about relationships, it's about honesty and communication. If you're both honest with how you are feeling and what you are expecting, and communicate these needs effectively, then your relationship may survive a hiatus.

My husband and I, after 2 years of being together, broke up so that he could experience more of the world. It was hard, as there was no distance and I had to see him with others, but as there was honesty and communication, when the time was right we did get back together and talk about how we felt. We got married 9 years after we first got together and have now been married for almost 6 years. Our love is stronger than ever before.

As you said, it is up to you, but remember to take her feelings into consideration and actually listen to what she has to say when you try to explain you point of view. "If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it is yours forever. If it doesn't, it was never meant to be...".
Coen
I think GuidanceReader pretty much said it all, but I will throw in my opinion anyway. I have recently ended my own relationship, albeit for reasons very different from yours. Therefore, comparing the situations will not work, but I recognize what you mean when you say that you love your girlfriend a lot. I loved mine to, but it just no longer worked for me so I let go. Despite feeling sad, I also felt relief. Maybe you can try and wonder how exactly you will feel if you were to break up. If things do not work then they don't, but you should always consider all your options. What would breaking up do to the both of you (and most importantly, what would it do to you)?

Distance can be a terrible thing and long distance relationships tend to be really hard, so you are in a difficult situation for sure, take that into account as well when thinking about it. All in all, I would say talk about it and try to get some opinions from people who are important to you (friends, family, etc.). In the end, you should choose what works best for you. And the decision is yours and yours alone to make and trust me, I know how lonely that can feel. I have thought about what I had to do for a long time, and I fully understand what you feel when you say that you want the best for your girlfriend. Even though I broke up with mine, I still want her to be happy and I want nothing but the best to happen to her.

Just weigh the pros and cons and take your time to do that. I am sure that deep down you know what is best, and if not that you will find out in the time to come. Should you decide to break up that will hurt, and staying together could be difficult for a while, but it will be okay in the end I'm sure.

"In the end, everything will be okay. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end." John Lennon said that, and I think he's right.
andro_king
So first my friends relationship: My friend's name is Alayna and her boyfriend is Drake. They are really cute together and when they hang out after school they snuggle, talk, kiss, and everything. They are so cute together! Smile But lately Drake has been not talking to her during school and acts like she doesn't even exist. And he is kind of making up lies to his guy friends saying bad things about her. She still really likes him and doesn't know what to do. So she needs to know, should she stay with him or dump him.?
Okay my problem: My name is Trish and I am dating this Justina. And really started off really great! When she first asked me out I was so excited because I really liked her and it was great because she would call me all the time and come over a lot. But now she never calls me and whenever I try to ask her to come over she makes up some lame excuse. And now this really cute gal is starting to like me a lot. Her name is Drowey. She is a year older than me but she acts like we are the same age and flirts with me a lot. I'm starting to like her a lot too but I still really like Justin. What should I do? Should I break up with Justin and date Drowey or should I stay with Justina?
codersfriend
Yeah I liked what GuidanceReader said
It takes honesty and communication to keep you together even though the relationship is not physical. How are you doing right now anyway?
johans
Quote:
Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 6:50 am Post subject: Ending a Relationship


This is the difficult part.. but if this is for good then we proceed as we go on.
pauline5765
I think it's best to break up when the decision is mutual. It's not good that you're the only one who wants the breakup (especially that you're breaking up despite the love you feel for her). When she finds a new boyfriend, would you be able to get over her? Would you bear the thought that some other guy is holding her in his arms?

If you are ready to accept whatever happens after the break up, then go for it. If you're willing to lose her that much, then it's okay.

However, if you're thinking that after the break up, she will never find someone else and would still love you after college and internship... then you're making a big mistake.
johannespilz
always follow your needs. if u think about it you will always think about it cause "enjoying collage" is not only a phrase, it shows that u want to experience things that u havent so far so u lack this things. and u will ever have it in mind how it would be. so go for your own thing first, dont care so much about the others!
johans
ending a relationship is just a beginning a relationship.
crazygirlblue
i held onhat. i regret it, even when i wanted to be single if only to grow in myself and enjoy college. you cant do t sooo much. and she has to do it for herself too. this is a growing time for you guys to find who u are!!!!! think of yourself. i knwo thats the hardest thing to do...but u must.
johannespilz
****** thats a tough topic. one i am so bad in. although it should be so easy. being sure about your emotions and feelings and then tell it to the other. cause u should be your best friend, only you can finally say what is the best for yourself. so if u feel like breaking up do it.

but why i never manage it that way? cause i think its so hard to get to know your feelings. and after a while you are so attached to the other person, u might have even changed your lifestyle (didnt see friends as much as before) so u would feel a lack if the partner is gone.

but the best about ending is, i think, that it is the moment in life when u improve the most. it always was like this for me. thats when u realise what helt u back and that u can finally do the things u wanted to.

of course u only want to break up cause it holds u back from going the direction u are ment to go to. to achieve your goals. and if something is holding you back from your "way" u feel unhappy about it.

than.. change it Smile
albiemer
Jonathan10 wrote:
I'm a new member to the site. I have visited and felt the members give helpful responses so maybe they can help with mine.

My girlfriend and I are both 20 and just finished our first year of college, but we're attending college in neighboring states. We've been dating 2years now and I love her very much. She has a lot of amazing qualities: understanding, funny, caring, etc. The issue is the distance really gets to me and its become hard to deal with having her far away.

I want her to enjoy college and not hold back and she said I haven't caused her to, but personally I get really down knowing shes so far and I can only see her every other month. She's willing to work through it, but i don't know if I can. I feel our timing is just all wrong and once we finish college, internships, etc we can be happy however until then things wont be as enjoyable.

So with that said, am i making a mistake if i break up with her? We are taking time apart for now and it hurt to see her cry so much. I've been thinking about it nonstop and i assume she has too. I really do love her, but maybe I'm unable to handle a distant relationship/need time to grow up. I dont want to hurt her and i dont want to lose her either. Shes so sweet and deserves the best and be the happiest she can be. I know its my decision, but does anyone have any thought on what i should do or maybe see which side im leaning towards from what i said?

If anyone has similar stories or just some words of encouragement itd be very helpful during a hard time like this. THanks in advance


“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.”
albiemer
albiemer wrote:
Jonathan10 wrote:
I'm a new member to the site. I have visited and felt the members give helpful responses so maybe they can help with mine.

My girlfriend and I are both 20 and just finished our first year of college, but we're attending college in neighboring states. We've been dating 2years now and I love her very much. She has a lot of amazing qualities: understanding, funny, caring, etc. The issue is the distance really gets to me and its become hard to deal with having her far away.

I want her to enjoy college and not hold back and she said I haven't caused her to, but personally I get really down knowing shes so far and I can only see her every other month. She's willing to work through it, but i don't know if I can. I feel our timing is just all wrong and once we finish college, internships, etc we can be happy however until then things wont be as enjoyable.

So with that said, am i making a mistake if i break up with her? We are taking time apart for now and it hurt to see her cry so much. I've been thinking about it nonstop and i assume she has too. I really do love her, but maybe I'm unable to handle a distant relationship/need time to grow up. I dont want to hurt her and i dont want to lose her either. Shes so sweet and deserves the best and be the happiest she can be. I know its my decision, but does anyone have any thought on what i should do or maybe see which side im leaning towards from what i said?

If anyone has similar stories or just some words of encouragement itd be very helpful during a hard time like this. THanks in advance


“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.”


“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.”
albiemer
albiemer wrote:
albiemer wrote:
Jonathan10 wrote:
I'm a new member to the site. I have visited and felt the members give helpful responses so maybe they can help with mine.

My girlfriend and I are both 20 and just finished our first year of college, but we're attending college in neighboring states. We've been dating 2years now and I love her very much. She has a lot of amazing qualities: understanding, funny, caring, etc. The issue is the distance really gets to me and its become hard to deal with having her far away.

I want her to enjoy college and not hold back and she said I haven't caused her to, but personally I get really down knowing shes so far and I can only see her every other month. She's willing to work through it, but i don't know if I can. I feel our timing is just all wrong and once we finish college, internships, etc we can be happy however until then things wont be as enjoyable.

So with that said, am i making a mistake if i break up with her? We are taking time apart for now and it hurt to see her cry so much. I've been thinking about it nonstop and i assume she has too. I really do love her, but maybe I'm unable to handle a distant relationship/need time to grow up. I dont want to hurt her and i dont want to lose her either. Shes so sweet and deserves the best and be the happiest she can be. I know its my decision, but does anyone have any thought on what i should do or maybe see which side im leaning towards from what i said?

If anyone has similar stories or just some words of encouragement itd be very helpful during a hard time like this. THanks in advance


“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.”


“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.”


“Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart do not know how to laugh either.”
albiemer
albiemer wrote:
albiemer wrote:
albiemer wrote:
Jonathan10 wrote:
I'm a new member to the site. I have visited and felt the members give helpful responses so maybe they can help with mine.

My girlfriend and I are both 20 and just finished our first year of college, but we're attending college in neighboring states. We've been dating 2years now and I love her very much. She has a lot of amazing qualities: understanding, funny, caring, etc. The issue is the distance really gets to me and its become hard to deal with having her far away.

I want her to enjoy college and not hold back and she said I haven't caused her to, but personally I get really down knowing shes so far and I can only see her every other month. She's willing to work through it, but i don't know if I can. I feel our timing is just all wrong and once we finish college, internships, etc we can be happy however until then things wont be as enjoyable.

So with that said, am i making a mistake if i break up with her? We are taking time apart for now and it hurt to see her cry so much. I've been thinking about it nonstop and i assume she has too. I really do love her, but maybe I'm unable to handle a distant relationship/need time to grow up. I dont want to hurt her and i dont want to lose her either. Shes so sweet and deserves the best and be the happiest she can be. I know its my decision, but does anyone have any thought on what i should do or maybe see which side im leaning towards from what i said?

If anyone has similar stories or just some words of encouragement itd be very helpful during a hard time like this. THanks in advance


“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.”


“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.”


“Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart do not know how to laugh either.”


“Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable.”
albiemer
albiemer wrote:
albiemer wrote:
albiemer wrote:
albiemer wrote:
Jonathan10 wrote:
I'm a new member to the site. I have visited and felt the members give helpful responses so maybe they can help with mine.

My girlfriend and I are both 20 and just finished our first year of college, but we're attending college in neighboring states. We've been dating 2years now and I love her very much. She has a lot of amazing qualities: understanding, funny, caring, etc. The issue is the distance really gets to me and its become hard to deal with having her far away.

I want her to enjoy college and not hold back and she said I haven't caused her to, but personally I get really down knowing shes so far and I can only see her every other month. She's willing to work through it, but i don't know if I can. I feel our timing is just all wrong and once we finish college, internships, etc we can be happy however until then things wont be as enjoyable.

So with that said, am i making a mistake if i break up with her? We are taking time apart for now and it hurt to see her cry so much. I've been thinking about it nonstop and i assume she has too. I really do love her, but maybe I'm unable to handle a distant relationship/need time to grow up. I dont want to hurt her and i dont want to lose her either. Shes so sweet and deserves the best and be the happiest she can be. I know its my decision, but does anyone have any thought on what i should do or maybe see which side im leaning towards from what i said?

If anyone has similar stories or just some words of encouragement itd be very helpful during a hard time like this. THanks in advance


“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.”


“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.”


“Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart do not know how to laugh either.”


“Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable.”


“Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell.”
albiemer
albiemer wrote:
albiemer wrote:
albiemer wrote:
albiemer wrote:
albiemer wrote:
Jonathan10 wrote:
I'm a new member to the site. I have visited and felt the members give helpful responses so maybe they can help with mine.

My girlfriend and I are both 20 and just finished our first year of college, but we're attending college in neighboring states. We've been dating 2years now and I love her very much. She has a lot of amazing qualities: understanding, funny, caring, etc. The issue is the distance really gets to me and its become hard to deal with having her far away.

I want her to enjoy college and not hold back and she said I haven't caused her to, but personally I get really down knowing shes so far and I can only see her every other month. She's willing to work through it, but i don't know if I can. I feel our timing is just all wrong and once we finish college, internships, etc we can be happy however until then things wont be as enjoyable.

So with that said, am i making a mistake if i break up with her? We are taking time apart for now and it hurt to see her cry so much. I've been thinking about it nonstop and i assume she has too. I really do love her, but maybe I'm unable to handle a distant relationship/need time to grow up. I dont want to hurt her and i dont want to lose her either. Shes so sweet and deserves the best and be the happiest she can be. I know its my decision, but does anyone have any thought on what i should do or maybe see which side im leaning towards from what i said?

If anyone has similar stories or just some words of encouragement itd be very helpful during a hard time like this. THanks in advance


“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.”


“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.”


“Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart do not know how to laugh either.”


“Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable.”


“Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell.”


“If you really love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours, if not it wasn’t meant to be.”
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