Three idiots walk into a bar and appear to be very happy about something. I can't believe we did it in only 120 days! The first one says. The drinks are on me! I cant believe we did it in only 120 days! The second one says. The drinks are on me! I cant believe we did it in only 120 days! The third one says. The drinks are on me! The bartender is curious and asks What are you celebrating? One of the idiots replies, We put this here jigsaw puzzle together in only a 120 days and on the side of the box it says from 3 to 5 years!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A ventriloquist is working down South and during his show a hick stands up and yells,"HEY YOU! ONSTAGE! You been making smart ass remarks about us southerners being stupid all night long! We're not all stupid ya know!"
"Relax" said the ventriloquist, "They're just jokes!"
"I'm not talking to you, sir!" The hick replied "I'm talking to that little prick sitting on your knee!"
--------------------------------------------------------------
Three Alzheimer's patients walk in to a doctor's office. The doctor calls in the first
one, and asked a bunch of info about himself. Then he asked him, "OK, what's 5 plus 5?"
He answers, "That's easy...37." The doctor says ok and tells him to send in the next patient. He comes
in a minute later. The doctor asks him all of his info. Then he asks him, "What's 5 plus 5?"
He answers, "Simple...Thursday." The doctor nods and tells him to send in the final patient. He comes
in and sits down. The doctor asks him all of his personal info. Then he also asks him, "What's 5 plus 5?"
He answer, " Man, that's easy...it's 10." The doctor says, "That's good, now how did you get that?"
The patient said, " Well, I just subtracted 37 from Thursday."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A ventriloquist is working down South and during his show a hick stands up and yells,"HEY YOU! ONSTAGE! You been making smart ass remarks about us southerners being stupid all night long! We're not all stupid ya know!"
"Relax" said the ventriloquist, "They're just jokes!"
"I'm not talking to you, sir!" The hick replied "I'm talking to that little prick sitting on your knee!"
--------------------------------------------------------------
Three Alzheimer's patients walk in to a doctor's office. The doctor calls in the first
one, and asked a bunch of info about himself. Then he asked him, "OK, what's 5 plus 5?"
He answers, "That's easy...37." The doctor says ok and tells him to send in the next patient. He comes
in a minute later. The doctor asks him all of his info. Then he asks him, "What's 5 plus 5?"
He answers, "Simple...Thursday." The doctor nods and tells him to send in the final patient. He comes
in and sits down. The doctor asks him all of his personal info. Then he also asks him, "What's 5 plus 5?"
He answer, " Man, that's easy...it's 10." The doctor says, "That's good, now how did you get that?"
The patient said, " Well, I just subtracted 37 from Thursday."
