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Question for ALL! Read and Reply!





Ryox
Question for everyone!

I'm a guy who has a long distance relationship and I love this girl with all my heart, We skyped, chatted and even txt every single day.. The only real problem is, she lives in North Dakota, and I live in Michigan.

So my question is, Should I date someone in my own area that I could truly love and care about as much as her? All the girls I ever meet here are Selfish, dis-respected, Dis-loyaled girls who doesn't even know the term "True" Relationship and they can't even take care of themselves, so should I go out and try to find someone my own age, she is 24, I am 21.. So... My mom said she will talk to my neighbor and see if he can take me to some hangouts or clubs or whatever he does..

I just recently graduated high school in June, so I don't know what I should do from now... My laptop power adapter got another short a few months after I bought it. What are the Odds!

All my life, I spent my life with girl's I truly cared about but 5 years ago, The girl I was truly in love with broke my heart and I felt heart broken ever since I met this girl I knew for 2 years online. Yes 2 yrs and not a single year we ever met but we have a strong bound for one another...

So what do you think I should do? Keep the relationship with this girl or tell her politely I should move on?

I have received gifts from her and I sent her gifts back from my home to hers, so we have a strong bound.
watersoul
Ryox wrote:
So what do you think I should do? Keep the relationship with this girl or tell her politely I should move on?

2 years? I'd definitely have gone on a plane/train adventure to North Dakota by now!

Even if you didn't feel a spark it would be worth it just for the exciting fun of the trip...and whatever the situation when you got back to Michigan, at least you'd know.
Ankhanu
If the two of you are committed to the relationship and making it work, it can. If you're not, it won't Razz

I met my wife chatting on IRC; I'm from Nova Scotia, Canada, she's from Texas… somewhat further than ND and MI Wink We didn't have a relationship, per ce, while we were chatting, but there was a spark. She came to visit me, I went to visit her, and she came back to Canada… we've been married for 10.5 years now.

The distance aspect is tough, and makes it somewhat ethereal, even if the emotions are genuine. I think if you guys want to make this a really real relationship, you'll have to meet some time. It's a little scary, but, there are things that a face-to-face meeting will tell you that online chat never will.

Basically, if it's important to you, make it happen. If it's not, move on.
Ryox
The problem is, the nether of us work or have a JOB, She has SSI and she's in College. I don't have a job or have SSI. :/

So it's kinda hard to just go to ND and live with her. This economy is tough! Sad
Ankhanu
Yup, it's expensive and difficult. I was working, as was she, but we were both working shitty service jobs at minimum wage (she was a waitress, so made less than minimum wage, technically), with bills to pay. It took months to save the money to get together.

It was hard, but, it was important to us, so we made it happen. It won't just fall together without sacrifices.
Ryox
Ankhanu wrote:
Yup, it's expensive and difficult. I was working, as was she, but we were both working shitty service jobs at minimum wage (she was a waitress, so made less than minimum wage, technically), with bills to pay. It took months to save the money to get together.

It was hard, but, it was important to us, so we made it happen. It won't just fall together without sacrifices.


That is so TRUE! We both have a high school diploma, and she is in college so she will propbably land a better job than I can in the future but we can make it happen eventually.

Here is a term I go by..

"It is impeccable to know what the future holds, so you can NEVER say never to the future when it will happen to you!"
suzanstive
if you really love her den don't even think to date some caus if she'll come to know about this she hurt ed so badly
codersfriend
You'll have to meet her in person.. go dating.. and get to know each other..
I've also known someone in chat for almost 3 years (I beat you haha .. just kidding) .. and we're also planning to meet next month.. She's a Filipino working in Dubai , UAE and I live in the Philippines.. And I'm excited that she's coming to the Philippines next month .. Smile
deanhills
In my own experience how we look at other people are usually a mirror image of something that is uniquely our own. So there is a good chance if you see the women in Michigan the way you do, that once you see a live version of your cyber friend, that she may turn into the same. I don't see why you should end your online relationship, as it is a completely different kind of relationship that can be good for you provided you don't stress it with unrealistic expectations. But if it has been more serious than it should be, i.e. expectations of joining up etc. maybe you could tone that down very gently by mutual consent. I.e. you need to discuss it with your cyber friend and let it be a mutual decision.
Ryox
deanhills wrote:
In my own experience how we look at other people are usually a mirror image of something that is uniquely our own. So there is a good chance if you see the women in Michigan the way you do, that once you see a live version of your cyber friend, that she may turn into the same. I don't see why you should end your online relationship, as it is a completely different kind of relationship that can be good for you provided you don't stress it with unrealistic expectations. But if it has been more serious than it should be, i.e. expectations of joining up etc. maybe you could tone that down very gently by mutual consent. I.e. you need to discuss it with your cyber friend and let it be a mutual decision.



The problem with that Deanhills, is that I don't have any real life friends because I never been able to stand groups, Everytime I try to walk and make friends around here, I get rejected like I don't fit in at all..

I do try and I am afraid It's just gonna backfire in my face.

People are alot different than here in Oregon, where I am originally from, Maybe it's because, we have a different kind of thing that people don't like... I just don't know!

I do have some friends here and we talk through facebook but we never hang out because they live all the way downtown, I live on the outskirts of town.
tidruG
I'd have to go along with everyone else and say that you need to meet her if you want this to develop into something more. Don't expect the world, because anything can happen, but you really should meet her before you take any decision.

And look at it this way...you're just out of school and you're not employed. If you're ok working any job that comes your way until your girlfriend graduates and gets a better job, then you can pretty easily move to wherever she is and try to get a job there. It's not like you're quitting a job in your current location in order to go to ND.

Oh, and I'm going to have to replace the title of your thread as it's quite misleading. I'm sure people will still give you advice, but thread titles really should reflect what the topic is about. Please let me know what you recommend. I suggest "Long-distance relationship: Advice wanted!"
deanhills
Ryox wrote:
The problem with that Deanhills, is that I don't have any real life friends because I never been able to stand groups, Everytime I try to walk and make friends around here, I get rejected like I don't fit in at all..

I do try and I am afraid It's just gonna backfire in my face.

People are alot different than here in Oregon, where I am originally from, Maybe it's because, we have a different kind of thing that people don't like... I just don't know!

I do have some friends here and we talk through facebook but we never hang out because they live all the way downtown, I live on the outskirts of town.
I did not realize you were from Oregon, I thought you were from Michigan. If you were happy in Oregon, I'd imagine that would be a great place for living? Maybe you could try North Dakota first and see how it works out with the girl friend and then maybe both of you could move to Oregon. Or if it does not work out you could return to Oregon on your own and start fresh. Looks as though the world is your oyster and at this stage you could move anywhere you like.
Ankhanu
deanhills wrote:
I did not realize you were from Oregon, I thought you were from Michigan.


From Oregon, lives in Michigan. Easy Razz
deanhills
Ankhanu wrote:
deanhills wrote:
I did not realize you were from Oregon, I thought you were from Michigan.


From Oregon, lives in Michigan. Easy Razz
That part I got, but I don't think he mentioned it in his OP.
garlovsky
Hi Ryox,

If you really love this girl, then do the things you need to do in order to get to her. I know getting a job is tough right now, but keep pushing toward that goal. Then, save every penny you can to make the move.

Plus, I hate to say it, but you need a contingency plan just in case things don't work out once you get out to SD. By that, I mean you need to have a little nest egg to be able to live in your own place for at least a couple months while you either get yourself squared away in case things don't work out. Plus, you don't know if you might want to get back to Michigan. If you do, you need travel money.

I can relate to you though. I had a long distance relationship and the distance was Chicago to California. It never worked out because she lost interest. I'm glad I didn't move. That would have been a disaster.

As far as dating someone else, I'd say hold off on that until you get yourself to SD. You don't want to spend the rest of your life regretting the fact you never made your dream come true.

All the best! Wink
andro_king
If the two of you are committed to the relationship very strongly then nothing matters..
even though this economy is tough...
you can save every penny you can to make the move...
never let the true love down...
never try anyoone until you are comfortable...
just follow what ever your heart tells you...
be confident and importantly respect her feelings too...
have a que..? does she to love you..?? or you just love her..?
Segia
It could possibly be worth it, but it's very hard to decide whether or not you actually love her based on online chats. Least you could do is arrange for you guys to meet in real life. If there's a spark, perhaps that'll convince you to pursue her. If there isn't, you'll have closure and be able to move on.
therimalaya
I've a suggestion. You have to go there and meet her. Unless you meet her, it will be wrong to predict others nature and do some mistake. After all, Good Relationship and True Love is precious and you should value it.
Best of Luck
jrzipagan03
dude if you really love her and you don't want to be tempted in some other girls out there w/c you doesn't see the reality of love, you must buy your ticket then go to her to Dakota and expend your time to her and feel the intimacy of your love, you date in the coolest and the most romantic places at Dakota and expend your time wisely. If you really feel that "she's the one" then go for it, don't let her wait to feel the intimacy of a true loving relationship.go!go!go......... Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Surprised Surprised Surprised Surprised Surprised Surprised Surprised Surprised Surprised Surprised Surprised Surprised Surprised Surprised Surprised Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz
mwasimba
If you spend 2 years loving someone like i did a few years back, you will definately find it hard to move on and you may see as if all the girls are selfish and blah blah blah in your area, but I think thats not true.
Love doesnt keep a register of your regrets but always records your account with blessings. Keep on sneding gifts, jump onto a plane and visit, dont let it die!
The_unnamed_label
Hey... I think you should go for it if thats how you feel

Life is short... and its kind of rare to find someone you really love... distance is hard.. but there is nothing that is impossible..

Some people move countries to be closer to the love of their lives....
nazal12
Darmowe domeny. Takie jak com, net czy org. Koszt to 350 monet za rok. Dostaniecie GoDaddy kartę na wartość domeny. To beta, bo nadal nad tym pracujemy. Domenty również będzie można otrzymywać w konkursach (te już lada moment).
Jeśli chcecie odnowić domenę - róbcie to na miesiąc/dwa miesiące wcześniej.
ujjwalshrestha
Ideally, stick with the girl who loves you. Remember that, it is always good to commit with somewhat who is in love with you. If you wait for 2 years, why not wait for few years, save some money so that you can travel to ND. If you still think she is the one, after you see her, you can keep your long distance relationship. Always go with your instinct.
johans
it is just a matter of management. If you really love both then make used of technology today and spent 1 hour in every 2 days communication with your love ones.

there are so many ways today than the old one.. example you can spent and share time for free tools such as Skype- in this you can do a lot of fun. watching movies together, games online- playing games together, video chatting- can have dinner date together.. a lot of stuff you can used.

If it is time difference then there must be a give and take to comprise each time both of you.

In this way you can eliminate the temptation for others and make your relationship in just next door both of you.

me, i am in long distance relationship but i used mobile most for communication because i am a techy guy and my girl friend is medical in profession so i used which is more convenient to her.

Very Happy
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