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People judge too much





Sheep
I'm 17. My boyfriend's 32.

Yes, you read that and thought "Poor girl, seduced by a hungry wolf". It's okay, I never really cared about other people's opinions. But my parent's were a pain in the ass from day one. It is understandable, I guess; I'm very mature for my age (which is quite negative in a way, because I feel quite maladjusted most of the time). And yes, he is very inmature. But we've been in this relationship for almost two years now and it's been wonderful.

But this got on my nerves. My boyfriend works in health care, he is a really good professional that hasn't missed one day of work since he started. Last week I went to deliver him a message from his mother (his cell batery died and she couldn't communicate with him), and his boss (a really old and bitter lady) came up to us and said to him "you should go to prision, immidiately". He almost laughed at the statement because a. our relationship isn't illegal and b. although my parents are not happy with it, they know we are dating and the approve of this. We kindly explained this to the woman but she preferred to insult us bluntly without listening. The next day, he was fired. He is now initiating a law suit against the clinic, because he was fired with no apparent reason to be fired. To top it off, he feels like crap (it's not easy to loose a job).

I'm mad. As hell. How can people be so unfair and narrow-minded?
codersfriend
So your saying boyfriend got fired because of your relationship? and how did his boss know about this? And what country are you from? What does the law in your country state about age in relationships? On some countries, it is illegal to have intimate relations under 16. And it also depends on the culture
truespeed
In the news this week,same situation as yours but roles reversed.

Harry Styles 17 Caroline Flack 32.
Hello_World
If it is legal, then she has no right to fire him.

But I'd advise against it. Yes, it can work, and has worked before. But wow. I would never even consider an 18 year old. What the hell.

I think you are too young to know why it is wrong for you to be dating a 32 year old. Or more to the point, why it is wrong for a 32 year old to date a 17 year old. If you were 30 and he was 40 say, yeah, no probs. But... i have to say, deep in my heart, I judge that.

On the other hand, if he's a nurse, then he's probably a good type lol. I can understand why you might go for such a man. But one has to wonder why he'd go for you. What is lacking in the 32 year old that he would resort to a 17 year old? Sounds dodgy to me. It sounds largely about sex and beauty, not what I would consider a solid grounds for a relationship, I mean, come on. And what happens when you age?

I would always accept your decision as a stranger, do what you want to do, I wouldn't fire him, but truely, I don't think it is right.

It would be illegal here. And 2 years?? 15 and 30?? I'm sorry - THAT is just so so wrong. At least 17 and 32 is borderline almost legal.

If I was that crabby lady and you 2 came in at 15 years old, I would be a willing witness for the prosecution in his trial.
codersfriend
Yeah,, and the company is not responsible with your relationship..
If it makes you happy and it's not wrong, just do the right thing. If you'd read history, relationships with age distance these before are normal.. well it depends on the culture. some are 50 years old and 20 years old and its still fine.. even kings do that.. Smile
Helios
The age difference is irregular, no doubt about it but I'm not saying it's totally wrong either. It's quite weird for a 32 year old to look at a 17 year old that way... I mean I'm younger than your boyfriend and I find 20 year old girls too young but that's me.
Anyway I'm not so surprised that an old lady who probably isn't very open minded has reacted the way she did. Still, no reason to fire the guy. If she really fired him without stating any good reason, I guess he'll win in court.

For you guys, I truly hope that your relationship isn't based solely on the physical aspect and that you really love each other. Smile
loremar
Some lucky 32 year old bastard. Neutral

Your parents approved? I trust your parents were thinking rationally when they gave you permission to date with this guy?

In my country, it seems very common. We have a neighbor 32 married 22 yr old girl. And also another neighbor who is 34 who married a 17 yr old girl. I think women here matures very fast.
Ankhanu
Helios wrote:
The age difference is irregular, no doubt about it but I'm not saying it's totally wrong either. It's quite weird for a 32 year old to look at a 17 year old that way... I mean I'm younger than your boyfriend and I find 20 year old girls too young but that's me.

Yep... I'm the same age as her boyfriend, I found 17 year olds too young when I was 19 Razz I was a TA for a first year university biology lab when I was 28 and found the students looked like children. Made me feel pretty old Razz Hell, even the third years I TAed seemed like kids.
Adults and teens simply don't think alike; for a 32 year old to really relate to someone as young as you (and vice versa) seems a bit off. Not saying it's not possible, there are always exceptions, but, it is highly unusual. I know my initial reaction would not be favourable to seeing a similar age gap; it might change over time, but, often it doesn't Razz Yours is not the first age disparate relationship I've come across involving teens, and more often than not, as I get to know the two, the creepy factor doesn't diminish; that said, I have encountered one or two in which the pair are really compatible and age doesn't matter so much (usually this involves an unusually mature and worldly teen).

Helios wrote:
Anyway I'm not so surprised that an old lady who probably isn't very open minded has reacted the way she did. Still, no reason to fire the guy. If she really fired him without stating any good reason, I guess he'll win in court.

Yeah, if the relationship is actually what's in play for the firing, it's very wrong. Somehow, I doubt we're seeing the whole story, however... but if it is the reason, rather than something that we're not being informed of, it's definitely unjust, and will not stand up in the court hearing.

Helios wrote:
For you guys, I truly hope that your relationship isn't based solely on the physical aspect and that you really love each other. Smile

Same.
codersfriend
That reminds me of someone I knew.. She's 21 and some 35 year old suitor promises her wealth.. also she's choosing with another guy (actually old man) who is in his 50's who also promises the same.

Money.

But it seems that you're not after that. And the girl I just mentioned is a user. And she's worried her parents might know .

I'm just worried that the time might come you would have conflict in opinions due to generation gap
MrTylerGreen
I think that your relationship is good and fine. If you guys are happy together and there are no evil intentions in his heart, I think it is a great thing that you were able to find one another. I think it is amazing that you guys are able to see past the difficult barriers in carrying on a relationship like that. But you have to realize, just as you are entitled to your opinions, so is his boss. His boss can employ whomever she likes. If he is a good employee, then it is her own loss right? You have to realize that in most places bosses don't NEED reasons to fire people. They can fire you if they don't like your hair if they want. They could even fire you just because they are having a bad day and feel like firing somebody at random.

I would encourage him to file for unemployment so he can pay his bills, then go find a new job. If he eventually gets fired for that one too, great, go find another one again. A right relationship is one where you would even be willing to die for the other person. So if he can't let go of being fired and call your relationship worth the persecution, then that may be a sign that your relationship isn't really meant to be.
codersfriend
Yeah.. do what makes you happy and the right thing Smile
codersfriend
RobertZakari wrote:
My boyfriend works in health care, he is a really good professional that hasn't missed one day of work since he started. Last week I went to deliver him a message from his mother (his cell batery died and she couldn't communicate with him), and his boss (a really old and bitter lady) came up to us and said to him "you should go to prision, immidiately".


I don't get it... how come your boss said that?
Ankhanu
codersfriend wrote:
RobertZakari wrote:
My boyfriend works in health care, he is a really good professional that hasn't missed one day of work since he started. Last week I went to deliver him a message from his mother (his cell batery died and she couldn't communicate with him), and his boss (a really old and bitter lady) came up to us and said to him "you should go to prision, immidiately".


I don't get it... how come your boss said that?


It's a direct quote from the original post in the thread... it's a spam bot advertising links in its signature.
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