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I really need advice :(





Jordan19
So this girl split up with her bf over no reason he just didn't want a relationship with her, so I comforted her and everything making her feel good about her self we was getting on we'll for a few weeks we was really close and liked each other, but recently today she said she thinks she's back with her bf which instantly broke me.. She said she didn't want to be back with him if we didn't stay close, So I told her that I would still be here and respect her choice if she wanted to go back to him.. but really inside it kind broke my heart that after everything we did.. but I didn't want her to be stuck in the middle of deciding what's best, So really I need advice I haven't promised her that I'll be the same as I was before if they decide to split up again, so advice please on what I should do next : ((
Ankhanu
Two basic choices:
1) be up front with how you feel about her and the situation (tactfully)
2) roll with it and accept that the likelihood of a relationship has diminished

In either case be prepared for the end result: move on.

Which option is best really depends on you and the type of person you are. None of us here can begin to tell you which is right for you and your circumstances.
baboosaa
we are males and females have choices. But to choose which women you want to be with is your choice and a mature male always tries to capture what he wants. You may want to have a women you love by your side. Then you do your best to go to her and try to attract her. Here also try your best to get what you want. After all at the end of the day your are all that you have and if you don't have what you had wanted then it's like being on edge of the world with no one by your side. So no matter what she thinks about you and her former boy friend try to make a place in her mind so that she will never forget you and miss you and at the end come to you. Try your best to get what you want man. Be a man.
habbo-beta2012
Just tell her how you feel about the situation itself. I don't think keeping it in is gonna make anything better.
The_unnamed_label
habbo-beta2012 wrote:
Just tell her how you feel about the situation itself. I don't think keeping it in is gonna make anything better.



Communication is the best;... I agree with that


But there is nothing you can do really.... but respect her final choice....
mshafiq
I have heard that
... set it free, if it is yours it will come back to you otherwise it was really not your ...

So no need to stop her.

However expressing your feelings is not a bad idea at all. Who knows, if she is in the middle and if she comes to know about your intensity of love it would help her deciding (even) for herself to have better future.

as said by 'The_unnamed_label' that best thing is communication.

Do not be sad as it may reveille more facts about her and and may yield more aspects of life which could possible save your life to an unbelievable level.

One more thing if you want to mention, do you her boyfriend.
Although you have mentioned there was no obvious reason of breakup, is there any specific this time which lead her to think to go back to old boy friend.

Thanks and Good Luck!
90dota
good job
Insanity
Tell her how you feel honestly and don't be afraid to pull punches to tell her how you really feel.
codersfriend
just let her know and let go of your feelings. Someday you will find someone who will never leave you
deanhills
I agree with the advice about letting go. Whatever flaw there is at the beginning of a relationship, it will become a million times more magnified the deeper it becomes. Also, the relationship seems to develop a template of its own. If one partner lets go of the other in order to rekindle another relationship, there is quite a good chance if you should be re-united, that that partner will do it again. AND again.
suzanstive
that girl may be playing with you or your feelings if she really cares for you ever she never thought to go back to her past or show her how much you love her or make her feel same what u felt when she'll feel same she understand what she did with you and never promiss to any one if they don't value you or your feelings
ridemeup
i'm facing almost same problem with my gf. he wish to go back to her ex lover but i know i can't live without her. i also dont know what to do. but i gave her freedom to take decision. lastly he leave me alone. and i'm just passing very bad and painfull time.
some time i plan to kidnap her, because i want her for my life.
deanhills
ridemeup wrote:
i'm facing almost same problem with my gf. he wish to go back to her ex lover but i know i can't live without her. i also dont know what to do. but i gave her freedom to take decision. lastly he leave me alone. and i'm just passing very bad and painfull time.
some time i plan to kidnap her, because i want her for my life.
Amazing how attractive our significant others become when someone else is also interested in them and that interest may be reciprocated by our significant other. Like their shares seem to go up at that time.
FastDebrid
Did you ever try to tell her how you felt?

In the first place, did you help her move on as a friend with no malice? I mean, was there any part of you that already liked her when you helped her move on? In that case, you should have told her in the first place that you like her. Perhaps, her view of you could have been different and saw you more than a friend.

However, does she still love the guy? If she does, you really have to back off. Just be there as a friend if you can. Besides, if you love her, you must let her be with the one she loves though it's tough.

Btw, is the reason as to why the guy didn't want a relationship with her still not clear?

deanhills wrote:
I agree with the advice about letting go. Whatever flaw there is at the beginning of a relationship, it will become a million times more magnified the deeper it becomes. Also, the relationship seems to develop a template of its own. If one partner lets go of the other in order to rekindle another relationship, there is quite a good chance if you should be re-united, that that partner will do it again. AND again.


Wow. This is one painful reality.

ridemeup wrote:
i'm facing almost same problem with my gf. he wish to go back to her ex lover but i know i can't live without her. i also dont know what to do. but i gave her freedom to take decision. lastly he leave me alone. and i'm just passing very bad and painfull time.
some time i plan to kidnap her, because i want her for my life.


It was right to set her free. Loving is being free. If she loves her ex, let her go back to him. After all, no matter what you do, if she still has feelings for the guy, it wouldn't matter.

Just pray for your well-being and for the two of them. If God meant for you to be together, you'll be together. You don't have to kidnap her. So, just pray and trust God. Be happy for them. Be there as a friend.

Merged consecutive posts - ocalhoun
LegendVPN
FastDebrid wrote:


It was right to set her free. Loving is being free. If she loves her ex, let her go back to him. After all, no matter what you do, if she still has feelings for the guy, it wouldn't matter.

Just pray for your well-being and for the two of them. If God meant for you to be together, you'll be together. You don't have to kidnap her. So, just pray and trust God. Be happy for them. Be there as a friend.



Hear, hear. Wink Loving is being free. You must feel that you're free when you're in love.
garlovsky
Hey Jordan,

I've heard similar stories from more than a few people over the years, so I hope I can give you a little insight.

From the people I know who went through this, some of them decided to put their romantic interests with the other person on hold while hoping with all their strength that the man/woman would break up and come back. This only works in movies. If you hang back and wait for this girl to call you on rainy days to dump on or do things when there are no better options, you will be a very sad person.

On the other hand, others took a chance and made a well-crafted ultimatum about choosing one over the other. You need to be very crafty if you take this route. You don't want to put the other person on the defensive, but you definitely need to make it clear that this is their final chance. That you can't simply hang on waiting. This works sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't. At least you can say you gave it your best shot and then move on.

Best of luck!
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