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Must I drink when eating out with my friends?





inuyasha
Chinese love alcohol when they have meals together, especially out. It seems to help build good relationship. But I can't really stand the smell of alcohol. I seem to have always behave impolitely when I'm invited to drink. I've been refusing to. Shall I learn how to drink?
mazito
no i think not, the alcohol is no a good habit so if you dont like stay there, is always find new friends, i am pretty sure that the % of people taht dont drinks is wide.

but is hard to see some times, because thas habits came with family and friends
Afaceinthematrix
No. I would not start drinking because of that; you should drink if you enjoy it and can handle it responsibly. I'm a pretty heavy drinker myself and I would never want a friend to start drinking just so that they could drink with me. Peer pressure is a bitch that you can't let take advantage of you. Do what you want for your own reasons and most importantly, respectfully decline alcohol. Don't preach to your friends or think you're better than them because you don't drink. When offered, just say, "No thanks I'd prefer a soda or water."
Hello_World
No. I am the same, I don't like to drink. I used to, but not anymore. Australians like to drink a lot.

As Afaceinthe matrix says, just respectfully decline. "oh, no thankyou, I'd prefer a ...". (Yeah, exactly what he said lol). If they pour you one anyway, just thank them and ignore it.

At first, your friends will think you don't want to drink because of some other reason you don't want to admit, like you want to drive, or you are sick or on medication, or pregnant, or some other random reason, but after a couple of times they will stop hassling you and respect your decision.

I don't like to explain myself, I just politely answer their questions, as they are expressing concern... "Oh yes, I am quite well thankyou", etc.

The most simple answer is "no thankyou, I have to drive home". But as that is not really the truth, I tend not to say that. Sooner or later a kind friend will organise a ride there and home for you and then what do you say?

Either they like your company or not. If they don't want to hang out with you if you don't drink, then they are not worth hanging out with at all.

But most people just want you to drink because they want to share something they enjoy with you, they are not trying to distress you or pressure you, they usually don't even realise that is what they are doing.
ExMachina
"You must do what you feel is right, of course."

A little Obi-wan wisdom to help you along. Wink You should only do what you personally feel comfortable with irrespective of whatever peer pressure is placed on you. In the end you'll be better off, alcohol is a toxin to the human body after all.
codersfriend
It's better if you set a good example to them.. don't give in to peer pressure and if you feel like a there is a drinking session, don't go there... My friends drink but they know I don't and they respect that Very Happy
shivaghimire
I don't even like alcohol. I hate smoke too. I took even a soft beer once but I feel it very bitter and I actually didn't like it. Having much alcohol is bad in itself but I think taking little is good for health and mind, I think. But we should control the quantity of alcohol we are having. Its not force able to have it. Its not compulsory to take alcohol with friends in together but if we have it then quantity should be maintained thinking for our own health.
Its seems we become much closer with the bottles of alcohol but in real its not true.
codersfriend
Its a good thing most people here in at frihost are non alcoholic Smile
Nameless
codersfriend wrote:
Its a good thing most people here in at frihost are non alcoholic Smile

Citation needed? There probably are plenty of drinkers here, they're just smart enough to start capsing that NO YOU ARE BORING MIND ALTERING SUBSTANCES ARE MANDATORY NOW. Razz
ankur209
No,don't try to 'try' it ! because its really a bad thing to consume alcohol ! Its good that you don't like the smell at all. Razz
loremar
IMHO, people actually gets so annoying and obnoxious when they drink. I'd stay away from them, especially when they start to smell like sh*t. Smile

Who says fun and laughter needs alcohol? Seriously, I find people more funny when they're not intoxicated. And some people don't get the punchline when they're drunk.

Pushing people to drink is like pushing someone to read your favorite comic book. It's just annoying.
bruk
Alkogogl - is death! Do not use it ever. Evil or Very Mad
Afaceinthematrix
bruk wrote:
Alkogogl - is death! Do not use it ever. :evil:


It's crap like this that just annoys me. This is obviously not true yet you're spewing it like it is. Alcohol is only a problem when you're drinking just to get drunk, binge drinking, it's causing problems in your life, etc. Like I said in my first post, I drink every single day just about. I can recall a day about two weeks ago when I didn't have a beer with dinner and that was because I was eating on the go. But, for the most part, I drink every single day and it's not leading to my death and it certainly isn't evil.
loremar
Why is it that non-drinkers have to be the odd-ball? Can't people enjoy a simple dislike/preference?

Teetotalers' sentiments are simple. When most people would say "alcohol is necessary for manhood. You don't drink, you're not man enough" or "you're boring, 'coz you don't drink", they'd shout back and say something that is also like untrue. Me? I won't say that alcohol is evil or it is death or it is bad for your health. But I would say my honest opinion about it like "Alcohol is soooo disgusting. I don't understand how people like to drink something that tastes and smells like poop. Are they insane? No wonder why people vomit when they get drunk. lol." something like that. Smile

Sorry Afaceinthematrix if this thread sounds like non-drinkers ranting against alcohol. Such opportunity like this comes very very rare you know. Especially in times, when teetotalism is becoming like a pariah. Very Happy
Nameless
bruk wrote:
Alkogogl - is death! Do not use it ever. Evil or Very Mad

'Alkogogl'? Are you sure you weren't drunk while posting that? Razz
Greatking
Clue in a friend or two. If you tell your BFF before the party that you plan on staying sober, you'll be more likely to stick to your word than if you keep it to yourself.


Plan to be the designated driver (only if you have a license, of course). That way, you'll have an easy, non-negotiable excuse for not drinking. Plus, your friends will totally owe you one.


If someone tries to hand you a drink, say you have to be somewhere later. To them, it'll sound like you're saying, "This party might be cool enough for you, but I've got bigger and better places to go." (Note: this doubles as a great excuse if you ever show up at a party wearing nice clothes while everyone else is dressed casually.)


Carry around a cup filled with soda or water. People will assume you're drinking booze, and there's no reason why you have to set the record straight for them.


If people keep bothering you to take a drink, say you're having enough fun without it. It'll probably make them wonder why they aren't secure enough to have fun without being wasted. (Besides, you'll be telling the truth.)


If you're still not comfortable, leave the friggin' party. People who don't know how to party without drinking - and without forcing everyone around them to drink - aren't worth partying with.
Greatking
Don't be fooled: the real reason everyone at parties wants you to drink is because they're insecure. They don't want to be around anyone sober who might notice what sloppy drunks they're being.




You might think you're the only person at the party who isn't drinking, but that's probably not true. Other people might be sober but are choosing not to draw attention to themselves. These people are your party soulmates! Stick with them, and you're sure to have a fun time.
lenaluna
Only drink if you want to. I love to so I do, but I can also say no when I don't feel like it. Self control is one of the most important things that go into drinking, with out it you're just an alcoholic.

There are many things you can say to avoid drinking that won't make you seem uncool or rude, like I'm driving (if you are), I haven't been feeling very well, my stomach's bothering me, I'm already tired if I drink something now, I'll fall asleep, or no thanks, alcohol makes me sick.

You can also say, I don't like (what ever the drink they're drinking is) or you can say, I've made a choice not to drink, I appreciate your offers but would rather not. If they keep pressuring you, tell them you're in a program and don't want to ruin your progress. You can also say you're cleansing, or that your religion doesn't allow it. If they know you well then use the sick excuses, if not, they shouldn't argue.

Honestly, I don't know how old you are, if you're a teenager, just stick to you're guns, those kids probably don't know any better. And you won't get arrested if you get pulled over by the cops. If you're an adult, any other adult will respect your decision. Don't feel overwhelmed, just do what you think is right, when you wake up in the morning you're the only one you have to answer to.
loremar
Quote:
There are many things you can say to avoid drinking that won't make you seem uncool or rude

That's what I don't like. If people avoid drinking then they're supposed to be rude or uncool? Are people suppose to be offended when I say no thanks, I don't like alcohol? Why so sensitive? In my opinion, I'm the one who is suppose to be offended when someone hands me a mind altering distasteful substance and puts in social pressure along with it.

It seems from what people have said in this thread, I have to put a lot of effort in refusing a drink that I don't like. Not to mention lying in their face. Geez. Rolling Eyes

People should at least ask "coffee, tea, ALCOHOL?"
No thanks I'm cool.

If people have not assumed that people are suppose to like alcohol then threads like this should not exist.
Hello_World
loremar:
Quote:
That's what I don't like. If people avoid drinking then they're supposed to be rude or uncool? Are people suppose to be offended when I say no thanks, I don't like alcohol? Why so sensitive? In my opinion, I'm the one who is suppose to be offended when someone hands me a mind altering distasteful substance and puts in social pressure along with it.


Yeah, I agree. It annoys me that I am made to feel like I am the one being 'rude', 'uncool' or 'unsociable' if I choose not to drink.

People do get offended sometimes, I can't understand why. I think they imagine that I am passing some kind of judgement on their behaviour, they must have some kind of guilty complex about drinking, I don't really know.

Whatevs, if they don't like me not drinking, it's really not my problem.

It is undoubtably more offensive to pressure someone to do something they have expressed a wish not to do.
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